When I used to relax, after rinsing I would put conditioner in and then neutralize. There was this vitale conditioner that was an amber colored liquid, but I cant remember the name of it. I would also sometimes use the vitale foaming conditioner, or another light conditioner that wouldnt be hard to rinse or wash out. I dont know how much it ever helped but I always had good results, and my girlfriend really like the results when I did her hair that way. She said her hair had never come out so soft and healthy looking.
When I did this, after rinsing the relaxer, I used to comb the conditoner through with a wide tooth comb and keep it straight while rinsing it out. Then the first shampoo application I would comb the shampoo though my hair that was already combed straight. I liked to neutralize my hair while it was straight, it seemed to tangle less in the future. When I was 16 or so I read a book/mag that explained how the hair bonds were broken and rebonded with the shampoo so I figured why not rebond them with my hair already combed straight instead of all over my head. I also let the second or third shampoo stay in my hair 10-15 minutes. I was also so terrified I wouldnt neutralize well. It was probably all in my head but I always liked the results I got and none of my friends ever complained.