SO DISAPPOINTED! Learned My Lesson Update

[DDTexlaxed]

Hey, all. I've been strugglin with my hair so much, that I went and got a mini cut. I just found out that the texturizer I thought was gone isn't and some parts are strait and the other parts more curly. I am just disappointed because the texturizer really did nothing for my hair. I still can't straiten my hair with a flat iron and tho it's a little more easier to try to twist my hair, I still lack the versatility I want from my hair. I would try to keep it, but the straiter parts really mess with the curly look. I will probably relax it and go from there. Does anyone have any advice for me? This is actually an update from me learning my lesson about texturizers. My hair MUST be either natural or relaxed for it to thrive and right now it's looking like I'll be relaxing at the start of the new year. The strait parts are spread throughout my hair and I have to put alot of gel to try to hide the strait parts. I've really learned my lesson. I'm hoping to relax every 5 or 6 months. Does this sound like a good idea? or

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Aw, come on. Not even one comment?

 

[caligirl]

Ok, I'm going to give you my honest opinion. At first when you did your big chop, you went on and on about how wonderful and curly your hair was. Ever since then you've been full of complaints and asking for advice. I think folks have tried to help you but it seems that there is no solution to your problem.

 

[JaneBond]

hi, i really think that you shouldn't relax your hair again because just think about all t he chemicals in it. Your hair will thrive once it becomes natural. The transitioning time is a time when you have to be very patient but at the same time optimistic . It shouldnt just be about your hair is should be about your over all well being but the real question is will you have Any regrets if you decide to relax your hair again?




i hth
Jb-

 

[blueabyss333]

Sounds like you've gotten all the advice in the world. Sorry to hear about your experience. I wasn't there when you first BC and got a texturizer but I think you should stay on the safe side and hold the relaxer. Sounds as if you're a lil wishy-washy on what you want to do. How was your hair when it was relaxed? Did you have trouble maintaining it the first time? Why did you BC in the first place? These are some things you may want to think about first and then put things into a realistic perspective. HTH.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Ok, I'm going to give you my honest opinion. At first when you did your big chop, you went on and on about how wonderful and curly your hair was. Ever since then you've been full of complaints and asking for advice. I think folks have tried to help you but it seems that there is no solution to your problem.

When I first bcd, there wasn't a problem. As for me being full of complaints, that's your opinion. What I am full of is questions. I need positive advice and not sermons. If u can help me fine, but please leave out the negativity. We've all done things to our hair that we regret. I'm just trying to figure out what to do next.

 

[caligirl]

When I first bcd, there wasn't a problem. As for me being full of complaints, that's your opinion. What I am full of is questions. I need positive advice and not sermons. If u can help me fine, but please leave out the negativity. We've all done things to our hair that we regret. I'm just trying to figure out what to do next.

Ok, at least you'll know why your post are getting one star.

 

[EbonyF]

Ok, I'm going to give you my honest opinion. At first when you did your big chop, you went on and on about how wonderful and curly your hair was. Ever since then you've been full of complaints and asking for advice. I think folks have tried to help you but it seems that there is no solution to your problem.

When I walked into this thread I was thinking the same thing. Glad someone stated this.

I've never seen anyone go through so many changes with their hair. Good luck with whatever you do though...

 

[napgurl]

When I first bcd, there wasn't a problem. As for me being full of complaints, that's your opinion. What I am full of is questions. I need positive advice and not sermons. If u can help me fine, but please leave out the negativity. We've all done things to our hair that we regret. I'm just trying to figure out what to do next.

Hey. . . don't take these replies as a negative . . . we tend to get offended when the answer is right there -- if we get past the offence and really listen. Perception is that you are never happy with your hair. Perhaps that is the real PROBLEM. You keep messing with you hair out of disgust and desperation rather than approaching your haircare with tlc. I know that I am a person that likes change. I find it hard to stick with any routine. But I think in many things even in healthy hair consistency and routine are very beneficial. So if you are like me just stick with one thing -- right now that might be just a simple cleansing and conditioning routine and a protective style until you research and find a better texturizer.

 

[DragonPearl]

Hey. . . don't take these replies as a negative . . . we tend to get offended when the answer is right there -- if we get past the offence and really listen. Perception is that you are never happy with your hair. Perhaps that is the real PROBLEM. You keep messing with you hair out of disgust and desperation rather than approaching your haircare with tlc. I know that I am a person that likes change. I find it hard to stick with any routine. But I think in many things even in healthy hair consistency and routine are very beneficial. So if you are like me just stick with one thing -- right now that might be just a simple cleansing and conditioning routine and a protective style until you research and find a better texturizer.

Totally agree with this post, especially the bolded part.

 

[nurseN98]

I'm sorry you've had so much trouble. You've gotten a lot of advice but in your mind it seems as if you've decided to relax your hair again. If that is the case then I would say that relaxing your hair at least every 3 months or so is a good idea (or longer if you can stretch) When I was relaxed I did this and my hair was in good shape. Make sure you don't over process is the most important thing and the next one for me was making sure I rinsed for 5 minutes before I even started neutralizing.

It seems like natural hair is too much of a challenge for you so if that's the case, just relax and be happy

 

[chocolate01]

I'm sorry you've had so much trouble. You've gotten a lot of advice but in your mind it seems as if you've decided to relax your hair again. If that is the case then I would say that relaxing your hair at least every 3 months or so is a good idea (or longer if you can stretch) When I was relaxed I did this and my hair was in good shape. Make sure you don't over process is the most important thing and the next one for me was making sure I rinsed for 5 minutes before I even started neutralizing

Good advice, I agree with everything NurseN98 said. Good luck!

 

[determine3]

Hey girl, I'm new to these boards but I kinda understand how you feel! Your anxious to get to your ultimate goal but the in-between part is killing you. I myself am going thru something similiar (i think i'm natural because I did a texturizer that did absolutely nothing for my hair-it was left on for 5 mins onlyerplexed ). When I am looking at my hair and ofcourse it's at that in-between stage, i go crazy! I don't know what to do with it and then I start thinking about different things! Just when I decided that I was going to perm my hair and just take care of it, my hubby reminded me of my goal. He said "remember how unhappy you were with permed hair? Give it another couple of months and then make a decision". It was a great reminder for me of where I was..and where I want to be with my hair. I think you big chopped for a reason. What was that reason..do you remember??? Personally, I think you should hang in there and skip the perm UNLESS you have learned so much here that taking care of permed hair will be easy for you the second time around. Maybe you should do what I did and get a weave or braids and get your hair out of sight for a while. Watching and waiting for your hair to grow can be soooooooooooo brutal

Ok, I'm going to give you my honest opinion. At first when you did your big chop, you went on and on about how wonderful and curly your hair was. Ever since then you've been full of complaints and asking for advice. I think folks have tried to help you but it seems that there is no solution to your problem

I think the message here is to embrace the happiness you felt when you first big chopped and texturized your hair. All these women on the boards have been in our shoes at one point but good advice on deaf ears is frustrating. Make sure when you ask the questions, you hear the advice. Every since I started doing that good things have been happening to me. My relationship is better, my hair is growing and I'm a much more confident woman.

Sorry for the long post but i'm a Pisces and can feel what you're going thru. Happy hair growing!!!!!!!!!!

 

[luckymonkey1307]

^^^^ well spoken lets chill with the animosity people, we are all striving for the same goal and lets do it together with harmony!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I am sorry you are going through this, If you want to Relax your hair then do so, I see alot of women on here with nice healthy relaxed hair, if you want to stay Natural then start transitioning, I have been natural 3x, I will stay natural and then I will relax then I big chop and then Relax, it is like a cycle because I don't even know what I want to do with my hair, When I decided to go natural there was not really a reason but to see what my natural hair was like and how my hair looked, My relaxed hair was healthy and long, My natural hair was healthy and strong, And even Today I still want to relax my hair and I might do so soon just because I want to. But the choice is yours I don't think no one will be mad at you for it.

Basically what DO YOU want to do?

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Sounds like a good idea to me. I guess you tried to go natural and that's not for you, so you tried to half natural it and go to the texturized side, when in all honesty you probably liked being relaxed more and want to go back to the relaxed side. Are you worried about what pple will say if you get a relaxer?, it's your hair and you can BC, relax it, texturize it, and if you chose today or tomorrow to shave it all off and rock a baldy, who should care but YOu it's yours. So what you asked a million and one question's, they say closed mouth's don't get fed," maybe you tried, maybe you didn't, only you know how much of an effort you put forth. That's why whenever we make decisions in anything, we should do them w/a clear mind being sure we are ready for that change and challenge, because if any of us go natural/relaxed/or texturized because we want out hair to be like so and so, that maybe a no-no, because your texture maybe different from their's, it may not be well trained like their's and then there is the whole product thing what works for some may not work for others. So I say sit back, relax and make a wise choice that you will be able to live with.

Hey, all. I've been strugglin with my hair so much, that I went and got a mini cut. I just found out that the texturizer I thought was gone isn't and some parts are strait and the other parts more curly. I am just disappointed because the texturizer really did nothing for my hair. I still can't straiten my hair with a flat iron and tho it's a little more easier to try to twist my hair, I still lack the versatility I want from my hair. I would try to keep it, but the straiter parts really mess with the curly look. I will probably relax it and go from there. Does anyone have any advice for me? This is actually an update from me learning my lesson about texturizers. My hair MUST be either natural or relaxed for it to thrive and right now it's looking like I'll be relaxing at the start of the new year. The strait parts are spread throughout my hair and I have to put alot of gel to try to hide the strait parts. I've really learned my lesson. I'm hoping to relax every 5 or 6 months. Does this sound like a good idea? or

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

There's some good advice here. Another thing you could do is get cornrows and rock a wig. It's a great way to let your hair rest and as inexpensive as wigs are you can change your style as often (or more) as you change your mind! I picked up a wig for 12 bucks. It's a hot lil number and looked so much like my real hair that my sister started yelling at me for cutting my hair!!! hahahaha I'll see if I can get a pic in the gallery. I'm at the point now that I'm really anxious to see something right NOW so I definitely feel what you're saying. Take your time and try to be patient. I wish you all the best with your growth.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Thank you all for replying. I'm just going thru some things right now with sick family members and friends. My perception has been off and my hair has suffered because of it. Anyway, I won't be posting much for awhile because i'll be taking care of my family. I've decided to wear my hair in 2 mini buns until I decide what to do with it. Your advice is always appreciated.

 

[Super_Hero_Girl]

Good luck in whatever you decide Natrlchallenge.