My Hair Frustrates Me

Tiffalicious

Tiffalicious

New Member
Hey Ladies,

I've been natural for almost 3 years now and I haven't been seeing much progress with my hair. My hair is 4a/b very fine, brittle, and grows so slowly. My biggest problem is dryness. No matter how much I moisturize my hair it just doesn't feel any better once it dries. I have problems with ssks and tangling, I've tried trimming a bunch of times, but it only feels good for a few days and then the problem returns. I just don't know what to do with it anymore. I really need some guidance.
 
Are you deep conditioning? How often? Do you use a good clarifying poo? Sealing your strands? How often do you use shampoo? Blow dryers? It could really be a number of thing. What is your regimen?
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
Are you deep conditioning? How often? Do you use a good clarifying poo? Sealing your strands? How often do you use shampoo? Blow dryers? It could really be a number of thing. What is your regimen?
Click to expand...
I usually wash my hair once or twice a week. I do use shampoo most of the time. I don't really clarify. I used to use ACV for that but I kinda fell off with it. I deep condition maybe once a month. I don't dry my hair ever. I put leave in and oil on when it's wet, then I either do a puff or twist it. I don't think I've really found any products that work for me. It's really hard finding good products where I live.
 
What makes you think your hair is dry? My sister says that all the time and when I feel it, it's not dry. It could be how your hair is supposed to be and I guarantee you with all you are doing, it's not dry.
 
Stop washing it twice a week, less is better. My hair thrives when I manipulate it once a week to every two weeks.
 
laurend said:
What makes you think your hair is dry? My sister says that all the time and when I feel it, it's not dry. It could be how your hair is supposed to be and I guarantee you with all you are doing, it's not dry.
Click to expand...
My hair feels really crunchy. Kind of like it could start a brush fire if it had enough friction.
 
Your hair also needs protein for moisture to be accepted into your hair. I made the mistake of not doing protein treatments when I was natural and suffered a lot of split ends and SSKs.

Protein is what was missing from my routine.
 
Tiffalicious said:
My hair feels really crunchy. Kind of like it could start a brush fire if it had enough friction.
Click to expand...


If you look at the long hair 4a and 4b naturals, they don't manipulate their hair as much as you do. Twist it and leave them in your 2 weeks or twist for a week and wear twist-outs for a few days and repeat.
 
frizzy said:
Your hair also needs protein for moisture to be accepted into your hair. I made the mistake of not doing protein treatments when I was natural and suffered a lot of split ends and SSKs.

Protein is what was missing from my routine.
Click to expand...
What would you recommend for more protein? One of the deep conditioners I use is Silicon Mix.
 
Tiffalicious said:
What would you recommend for more protein? One of the deep conditioners I use is Silicon Mix.
Click to expand...

OP I find Aubrey GPB or Aphogee 2min works well

I also have to seal with a heavy oil when wet, I mix rice bran oil (great ceramide) with castor oil. This does wonders for me! And I use straight aloe juice to close the cuticle and keep my hair soft.

My hair loves me!
 
I don't really think I can handle a challenge. I don't visit the site often. Way too much schoolwork.

My hair is in twists right now. Rope twists that I put in yesterday. They keep unravelling though :( My twists don't last very long.
 
You might want to check on the pH balance threads and see if that helps and rinsing your conditioner out with cool water to try to smooth the cuticle to avoid the ends feeling rough.
 
Tiffalicious said:
I don't really think I can handle a challenge. I don't visit the site often. Way too much schoolwork.

My hair is in twists right now. Rope twists that I put in yesterday. They keep unravelling though :( My twists don't last very long.
Click to expand...


What are rope twist? Why would your 4a/4b twists unravel? 4a/4b twists don't usually unravel. Are your ends straight?
 
PPGbubbles said:
OP I find Aubrey GPB or Aphogee 2min works well

I also have to seal with a heavy oil when wet, I mix rice bran oil (great ceramide) with castor oil. This does wonders for me! And I use straight aloe juice to close the cuticle and keep my hair soft.

My hair loves me!
Click to expand...
You know now that you say heavy oil I do think that the hot six oil I use is too light. I've been wanting to try Aubrey's. I saw it in the health food store here. I also think I need vitamins. There was a brand I used while I was in New York but I cannot find it here in Barbados. What vitamins would you recommend?
 
Rope twists are when you twirl the hair, kind of like a coil before you twist it over the other section. Apparently it makes for longer lasting twists but it just doesn't stay in my hair. I tried it for the first time. Oh and my ends aren't straight my hair just likes to unravel.

IMG_5504-1.jpg
 
Maybe you should try oil rinsing. It makes my hair really soft when I do it on wash days. Or prepooing.

I also like aphogee 2 step, but thats a heavy protein. I try to do one about every 8 weeks
 
Everytime shampoo touches your hair you need to deep condition... this is my golden rule...

Also.... try making a spritz with aloe vera juice and glycerine... and sealing with something a bit heavier... shea butter is very nice.. Im not sure if it would work well with fine hair but its worth a try

HTH
 
Tiffalicious said:
I usually wash my hair once or twice a week. I do use shampoo most of the time. I don't really clarify. I used to use ACV for that but I kinda fell off with it. I deep condition maybe once a month. I don't dry my hair ever. I put leave in and oil on when it's wet, then I either do a puff or twist it. I don't think I've really found any products that work for me. It's really hard finding good products where I live.
Click to expand...

I think this might be part of your problem. I would DC after every shampoo. And I would cut back on shampooing. Or try diluting the shampoo when you use it or find something like castile soap (also dilute before using).

You may need something heavier than a leave in as well.

Those are my only suggestions right now, I hope you find a good routine.
 
I've struggled with a similar thing. I'm on this healthy hair journey and I've been it for over a year now and I haven't seen much progress with my hair.
I have just found something which works for me and I've been doing this for about three months or so.

1) keep hair stretched as much as possible! This can be done through twists and braids. I find that I get a whole lot less tangles when my hair is stretched.
2) check your hair porosity level. http://www.afro-hair-care.com/hair-porosity.html My hair is normal porosity. However, it is high porosity at times when for example, I blow dry my hair. Protein treatments - simple just egg added to conditioners, can really help correct this problem, however, it's only a temporary solution.
3) shampooing less. I used to shampoo every week. This dried my scalp and hair out immensely. So I started shampooing once or twice a month and I cowash once a week.
4) oil rinsing. http://www.blackhairinformation.com...il-rinsing-the-holy-grail-of-black-hair-care/ I have to say that oil rinsing SERIOUSLY helped combat dryness with my hair. Also it really helped keep my hair manageable while I washed it in the shower (in sections too of course).
5) moisturise twice a day - spritz hair, add leave in and then seal. In winter months I seal with a hair butter. At night time, I just spritz my hair.
6) deep condition for moisture. Also for protein. I alternate between the two. I also do it depending on how my hair feels. If my hair feels too hard and brittle - moisture. If it feels too mushy - protein.
7) find a good detangling tool. I use my fingers and occasionally my Denman D31. I find that it removes shed hair quite well and smooths my hair wonderfully, making my twists and braids look neat but also making sure there aren't that many tangles.

I'm a student with a pretty busy schedule, but this doesn't take too much time out of my schedule as I'm currently protective styling in braids. I find that what I do for my hair is worthwhile. I have a lot less single strand knots and also very little splits and tangles. I hope the changes I have made in my regimen can inspire you to find out what will work for you.
 
Originally Posted by Tiffalicious
I usually wash my hair once or twice a week. I do use shampoo most of the time. I don't really clarify. I used to use ACV for that but I kinda fell off with it. I deep condition maybe once a month. I don't dry my hair ever. I put leave in and oil on when it's wet, then I either do a puff or twist it. I don't think I've really found any products that work for me. It's really hard finding good products where I live.

I'd suggest cutting down your shampooing to every other week, or even monthly if you can. If you feel your hair needs a wash before then, try a clarifying conditioner. They clean hair remarkably well, and add moisture at the same time.

You DEFINITELY need to deep condition more. There's no way around this if you are a type 4 whose hair is prone to dryness. I DC once/week; I'd probably suggest this for you as well. As has been suggested, you should definitely DC immediately after shampooing, so keep this in mind when you decide on a shampooing regimen.

Your leave-in may be fine (since you said your hair feels good for a couple days after application), but you probably need a heavier oil/butter to seal. Try shea butter (if your hair likes it), or my personal favorite- castor oil. Mix a little ceramide oil like sunflower, safflower or wheat germ oil into whatever you choose to seal....they're great for making your hair strong and pliable.

You need to PS more. Leaving your hair out and exposed in a puff is probably contributing to your dryness. Try styling your hair in a bun, or plaits or cornrows or twists- styles like this will allow your hair to retain moisture for a longer period.

This is all I got :) HTH
 
Last edited:
When I experienced continuous dryness, the things that helped turn things around were:


- Regular clarifying/chelating - which was done on a monthly basis since I didn’t use gels or products that contained silicones. This is also beneficial if you live in an area that has hard water because it not only removes hair product gunk, but also the mineral deposits that are left behind on the hair shaft from using tap water; which can inhibit moisture from penetrating the hair shaft.

- Applying Roux Porosity Control after shampooing and before a protein treatment – in order to address any porosity and pH issues

- Adding a mild protein to my regimen - as frizzy mentioned, hair requires the addition of protein in order to assist with strength, elasticity, and porosity; which enables it to better retain the moisture it is given

- Weekly DCing with a moisture-based product – I cannot stress the importance of regular DCing. If time constraints are a problem, you can always do an extended DC on dry hair prior to shampooing, or on wet hair after shampooing (either under a cap at home, or a hat/scarf while traveling) as you take care of other necessary business.

- Consistent careful detangling using an effective tool (for me, it is a seamless wide toothed comb) and product (a conditioner that provides a large amount of slip) - as KumakoXsd highlighted, regular detangling helps decrease the tangles and knots that can occur from the interaction between the unshed hairs and shed hairs


Forgive the long post, but as soon as I hear/read that someone is experiencing dryness, I immediately think: clarify/chelate, porosity, protein and moisture. Once you are able to remove the junk that may be impeding upon your hair’s ability to maintain adequate moisture levels (hair product residue, mineral deposits), you can address the issues that may be contributing to the problem (porosity, lack of protein); which will enable you to effectively infuse your hair with moisture (water, DCing). Again, I apologize for the longwinded post; I hope that it helps you in some way.
 
Tiffalicious said:
What would you recommend for more protein? One of the deep conditioners I use is Silicon Mix.
Click to expand...

I love Silicon Mix, but I clarify regularly when I use silicone products.

You could start out with Aphogee 2 MINUTE Keratin protein, or DuoTex or even a raw egg mixed into conditioner. I have used and like all of these products.

Mane N' Tail The Original Conditioner is great as a light protein/moisture product, and can be used as a leave-in also.

Like some of the ladies stated above, it's good to clarify and start with a clean slate before doing this, so that any coating (silicone product) is cleaned away and not blocking the moisture or protein from entering the hair shaft.
 
KumakoXsd said:
I've struggled with a similar thing. I'm on this healthy hair journey and I've been it for over a year now and I haven't seen much progress with my hair.
I have just found something which works for me and I've been doing this for about three months or so.

1) keep hair stretched as much as possible! This can be done through twists and braids. I find that I get a whole lot less tangles when my hair is stretched.
2) check your hair porosity level. http://www.afro-hair-care.com/hair-porosity.html My hair is normal porosity. However, it is high porosity at times when for example, I blow dry my hair. Protein treatments - simple just egg added to conditioners, can really help correct this problem, however, it's only a temporary solution.
3) shampooing less. I used to shampoo every week. This dried my scalp and hair out immensely. So I started shampooing once or twice a month and I cowash once a week.
4) oil rinsing. http://www.blackhairinformation.com...il-rinsing-the-holy-grail-of-black-hair-care/ I have to say that oil rinsing SERIOUSLY helped combat dryness with my hair. Also it really helped keep my hair manageable while I washed it in the shower (in sections too of course).
5) moisturise twice a day - spritz hair, add leave in and then seal. In winter months I seal with a hair butter. At night time, I just spritz my hair.
6) deep condition for moisture. Also for protein. I alternate between the two. I also do it depending on how my hair feels. If my hair feels too hard and brittle - moisture. If it feels too mushy - protein.
7) find a good detangling tool. I use my fingers and occasionally my Denman D31. I find that it removes shed hair quite well and smooths my hair wonderfully, making my twists and braids look neat but also making sure there aren't that many tangles.

I'm a student with a pretty busy schedule, but this doesn't take too much time out of my schedule as I'm currently protective styling in braids. I find that what I do for my hair is worthwhile. I have a lot less single strand knots and also very little splits and tangles. I hope the changes I have made in my regimen can inspire you to find out what will work for you.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I've checked the link and my hair is definitely highly porous. I'm going to try the oil rinsing on my next wash.
 
bride91501 said:
Originally Posted by Tiffalicious
I usually wash my hair once or twice a week. I do use shampoo most of the time. I don't really clarify. I used to use ACV for that but I kinda fell off with it. I deep condition maybe once a month. I don't dry my hair ever. I put leave in and oil on when it's wet, then I either do a puff or twist it. I don't think I've really found any products that work for me. It's really hard finding good products where I live.

I'd suggest cutting down your shampooing to every other week, or even monthly if you can. If you feel your hair needs a wash before then, try a clarifying conditioner. They clean hair remarkably well, and add moisture at the same time.

You DEFINITELY need to deep condition more. There's no way around this if you are a type 4 whose hair is prone to dryness. I DC once/week; I'd probably suggest this for you as well. As has been suggested, you should definitely DC immediately after shampooing, so keep this in mind when you decide on a shampooing regimen.

Your leave-in may be fine (since you said your hair feels good for a couple days after application), but you probably need a heavier oil/butter to seal. Try shea butter (if your hair likes it), or my personal favorite- castor oil. Mix a little ceramide oil like sunflower, safflower or wheat germ oil into whatever you choose to seal....they're great for making your hair strong and pliable.

You need to PS more. Leaving your hair out and exposed in a puff is probably contributing to your dryness. Try styling your hair in a bun, or plaits or cornrows or twists- styles like this will allow your hair to retain moisture for a longer period.

This is all I got :) HTH
Click to expand...
I need to stop being so lazy and protective style more often. I can't get my hair to fit in a bun because it shrinks so much that I cant ever get it all together. I don't even want to ask anyone to braid it for me because 3 weeks ago I got my cousin to cornrow it for me. I swear to you when I took it out the next week I had a bald patch on my temple. That heifer was too rough! I'm gonna have to suck it up and just do twists more often.
 
PJaye said:
When I experienced continuous dryness, the things that helped turn things around were:


- Regular clarifying/chelating - which was done on a monthly basis since I didn’t use gels or products that contained silicones. This is also beneficial if you live in an area that has hard water because it not only removes hair product gunk, but also the mineral deposits that are left behind on the hair shaft from using tap water; which can inhibit moisture from penetrating the hair shaft.

- Applying Roux Porosity Control after shampooing and before a protein treatment – in order to address any porosity and pH issues

- Adding a mild protein to my regimen - as frizzy mentioned, hair requires the addition of protein in order to assist with strength, elasticity, and porosity; which enables it to better retain the moisture it is given

- Weekly DCing with a moisture-based product – I cannot stress the importance of regular DCing. If time constraints are a problem, you can always do an extended DC on dry hair prior to shampooing, or on wet hair after shampooing (either under a cap at home, or a hat/scarf while traveling) as you take care of other necessary business.

- Consistent careful detangling using an effective tool (for me, it is a seamless wide toothed comb) and product (a conditioner that provides a large amount of slip) - as KumakoXsd highlighted, regular detangling helps decrease the tangles and knots that can occur from the interaction between the unshed hairs and shed hairs


Forgive the long post, but as soon as I hear/read that someone is experiencing dryness, I immediately think: clarify/chelate, porosity, protein and moisture. Once you are able to remove the junk that may be impeding upon your hair’s ability to maintain adequate moisture levels (hair product residue, mineral deposits), you can address the issues that may be contributing to the problem (porosity, lack of protein); which will enable you to effectively infuse your hair with moisture (water, DCing). Again, I apologize for the longwinded post; I hope that it helps you in some way.
Click to expand...
I do have a packet of porosity control here. I'll try that next time.

ETA: You know I didn't even consider the hard water here. There is a heavy mineral deposit in the Bajan water. I didn't even think of that. Thanks.
 
Ok one more thing ladies.

I need product suggestions. Preferably some that are available in beauty supply/ health food stores, as ordering online is out of the question here. I'm going to need suggestions for:

a deep conditioner
a rinse out/ co-wash conditioner
a clarifying shampoo/conditioner
some nice oils
a really moisturizing leave in
and anything else I should be using...

Thanks.
 
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