I am so upset I could cry!!! Please help

[TiZi]

First of all hello everyone I hope all are well...

I decided last year to stretch my relaxer for a year and August 09 will be a full year...any ways I have not been flat ironing my hair and just trying to rough it out.

The last time I did flat iron my hair was for Easter (cause you know I had to be fly) and I was so proud of my hair it was nearly BSL. So anyways I got curious today and wanted to see how long my hair is now and when I flat ironed it my hair is UNEVEN!!! I dont mean less than an inch or so I mean like 2 to 3 inches uneven. I dont know what I could have done wrong. The right side is bottom bra strap and the the left is just below APL. I am so upset I dont even know what to do.

I have been wearing my hair in a bun every day...sometimes when I want to change it up a little I wear it in a braided ponytail

I co wash at leat 3 times a week and I wrap my hair at night.

I really dont know how or where I went wrong...I am just so discouraged


Please help me before I mess up the other half of my head.

Thanks in Advance and God Bless

 

[hypek]

Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this! As I have learned from the other ladies here, sometimes wrapping in the same direction over time can cause this to happen. Maybe someone can go into more detail about why...

Try being more gentle to the shorter side and see what happens. I hope this helps!

 

[tnorenberg]

Do you wrap your hair in the same direction every night?

 

[Denise11]

Its the bun girl. Wearing buns too much or too tight or in the same place on your head will cause breakage. I'm sorry that happened to you, but you now know how to grow your hair and it will be back in no time.

 

[TiZi]

Do you wrap your hair in the same direction every night?

Well actually it is really hard to wrap my hair as I normally would because of all the new growth (as I have been stretching)... so I have been doing the baggy method some nights or putting my hair in two braids and putting my wrap around that

 

[msa]

It's either the bun, the wrapping, or both. Bunning or wrapping the same way every time can lead to breakage in the same place if you're not careful.

Also, what is the rest of your regimen? How often do you wear your hair down? DC?

 

[TiZi]

Its the bun girl. Wearing buns too much or too tight or in the same place on your head will cause breakage. I'm sorry that happened to you, but you now know how to grow your hair and it will be back in no time.

Thanks..this has to be it because other that this I really don't touch my hair...It will be back it is just so upsetting! I'm getting braids on Sunday so I wont have to think of it for awhile

 

[TiZi]

It's either the bun, the wrapping, or both. Bunning or wrapping the same way every time can lead to breakage in the same place if you're not careful.

Also, what is the rest of your regimen? How often do you wear your hair down? DC?

I never wear my hair down anymore because of the different textures while I am stretching... and to be honest I don't deep condition as much as I should when I baggy some nights I lather my hair in KeraCare Humecto conditioner

 

[Miamori]

Well, if you're saying your hair is uneven, that indicates it was breaking on the ends... I doubt it would be from tying your hair with a hair tie or something like that (from the bunning), or from pulling your hair to tight at the edges (bunning). You're saying it shorter on one side, not thinner or anything, right?

Depending on how you bun though, like if you pin your ends or roughly stick them into the hair tie and then roughly take it down, that might snap your ends.

What I'm thinking right now though is that your hair may grow unevenly.

I got a very blunt trim last May, and lighter trims last October and this June. My right side is nevertheless 1 or 2 inches longer than the left, and that's with trims and taking into account that I'm a slow grower. My right half is now below APL, and the left side isn't.

That might be part of it, especially if you haven't noticed any abnormal breakage (as opposed to simple shedding).

On the other hand, if you do wrap your hair (like by sending the hair around your head, the way people do to keep hair straight), that can definitely thin out your hair and make it shorter, especially if you use a brush or small-ish comb to try and beat it into being flat or staying put, or try to brush the ends straight, etc. For me, wrapping my hair to the left messed up my right side, because that was the side I was flipping back and forth all the time between putting it up and taking it down, and it was the side I was always brushing and combing, which caused increased shedding and breakage from stress.

I am leaning more towards the uneven growth thing though, because you said you cowash and bun daily, and I am assuming you air dry, which would not make your hair ideal for "wrapping" like that. I know that would be the last thing I'd be doing to my hair at night if I cowashed and bunned all the time. I'm guessing you meant that you simply wrap your hair up to protect it nightly, but not in the style of a "wrap," right?

 

[Miamori]

I never wear my hair down anymore because of the different textures while I am stretching... and to be honest I don't deep condition as much as I should when I baggy some nights I lather my hair in KeraCare Humecto conditioner

How soft is your hair? Once you wash and put it up, will you take it down or manipulate it while it is still wet, or do you wait until it is dry? And how do you detangle?

 

[TiZi]

Miamori[/B

Yes I at night I either baggy or plait my hair and cover it with a wrap... my hair is way to unruly right now to do a traditional wrapping method.

As for my daily bun I am not gonna lie it is tight to slick it down I use aloe vera gel... then I proceed to put my hair in a ponytail and one the last loop threw I simply dont pull the hair all the way threw...thats it, but if that is what is causing it I dont understand why all my hair isnt breaking??

 

[TiZi]

How soft is your hair? Once you wash and put it up, will you take it down or manipulate it while it is still wet, or do you wait until it is dry? And how do you detangle?

My hair gets pretty dry if I don't stay with it. After my hair is up, that's is it I don't touch it again until I come home to go to sleep. When I detangle I use a shower comb while my hair is drenched or semi wet with leave in or moisturizer in it

 

[tiffers]

What kind of ponytail holder are you using? Cotton or satin? The way you're bunning might be the problem. Try switching to cinnamon buns secured with Good Hair Days Pins

 

[TiZi]

What kind of ponytail holder are you using? Cotton or satin? The way you're bunning might be the problem. Try switching to cinnamon buns secured with Good Hair Days Pins

Im pretty sure they are cotton I dont really know I just know they dont have metal...so I thought I was doing good erplexed

I will try I am just challenged when it comes to styling my hair...I need things that are simple

 

[R4L]

question - did you straighten it yourself? perhaps you were just sloppy with your pressing technique. Does it look like it's the same length when it's wet, and the "different" lengths only show up when it's dry????

 

[Naveah2050]

question - did you straighten it yourself? perhaps you were just sloppy with your pressing technique. Does it look like it's the same length when it's wet, and the "different" lengths only show up when it's dry????

This is what i think may have happened also, is it possible you didnt straighten one side properly?

 

[Aspire]

I am going with uneven growth as well. I think other things may contribute, but uneven growth can make a difference. My right side grows twice as fast as my left (ever since I was very little). On May 1st when I got my relaxer, my sides were trimmed to match. Now the right side is almost an inch longer than my left. By the time I retouch on Aug 1, I am sure there will be a difference of over an inch.

I will agree that bunning or pinning in the same place and such can thin out your hair because my back middle is thinner than the rest of my head. So that can definitely contribute. But it sounds like you had a great growth spurt and one side grows slower than the other.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Aspire what do u do?
OP, sorry to haar this is happening to you. I have same issue. I just really baby that area which is the back middle area.

I am going with uneven growth as well. I think other things may contribute, but uneven growth can make a difference. My right side grows twice as fast as my left (ever since I was very little). On May 1st when I got my relaxer, my sides were trimmed to match. Now the right side is almost an inch longer than my left. By the time I retouch on Aug 1, I am sure there will be a difference of over an inch.

I will agree that bunning or pinning in the same place and such can thin out your hair because my back middle is thinner than the rest of my head. So that can definitely contribute. But it sounds like you had a great growth spurt and one side grows slower than the other.

 

[~NanCeBoTwin~]

Well actually it is really hard to wrap my hair as I normally would because of all the new growth (as I have been stretching)... so I have been doing the baggy method some nights or putting my hair in two braids and putting my wrap around that

I was going to ask how are you wrapping your hair at all, I'm 6 months post and can only wrap my hair after visiting the salon for a press. Other than that I tie my hair up at night and put my bonnet on top of the scarf.

But since you explained how you wrap, it could just be uneven growth. Do you notice any damage on the shorter side, if not I'd say maybe that one side just grows faster, which kind of sucks. But you may not have anything to worry about.

 

[january noir]

First of all hello everyone I hope all are well...

I decided last year to stretch my relaxer for a year and August 09 will be a full year...any ways I have not been flat ironing my hair and just trying to rough it out.

The last time I did flat iron my hair was for Easter (cause you know I had to be fly) and I was so proud of my hair it was nearly BSL. So anyways I got curious today and wanted to see how long my hair is now and when I flat ironed it my hair is UNEVEN!!! I dont mean less than an inch or so I mean like 2 to 3 inches uneven. I dont know what I could have done wrong. The right side is bottom bra strap and the the left is just below APL. I am so upset I dont even know what to do.

I have been wearing my hair in a bun every day...sometimes when I want to change it up a little I wear it in a braided ponytail

I co wash at leat 3 times a week and I wrap my hair at night.

I really dont know how or where I went wrong...I am just so discouraged


Please help me before I mess up the other half of my head.

Thanks in Advance and God Bless

It's probably just the way that it grows. Many, many women here have uneven growth - some more extreme than others.

You can cut it even, but over time it becomes uneven.

I'm one of them. The right side of my head grows fast and gets very long quickly and my left side (the hair is coarser too) grows very slow compared to my right. I have a pic in my fotki to demonstrate.

Don't worry about it unless you can pinpoint a specific problem. This, well this is just nature.

 

[Ivonnovi]

I've not read all the responses yet but I'd like to add that the only ponytail holder I use on my hair is the nylon tops that I cut off of knee-high stockings. These have help me prevent some breakage.
As for your ends ....be gentle with them even during the bunning process; I use the scrunchie-styled-phony-pony to create a fuller messy bun, and to spare my ends during the process. See post#4 in this thread for pics:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=4188451&highlight=#post4188451
IHTH

 

[rben]

I'd suggest varying the type of bun that you wear. The one you described where you just dont pull the last part of you hair through the last loop of the ponytail holder will definitely break the ends of may hair where they rest on the holder if I do it for more than a day at a time. Try Tiffers cinnamon bun or the one I use that works for me is to braid my hair in one big braid then wrap the braid around itself tucking the ends under and then securing with pins or a satin/silk holder/scrunchie or small scarf type thing.

 

[janeemat]

Just really baby it, keep it moisturized and conditioned and it should catch up.

 

[*Muffin*]

Is the side with the most breakage the one that you begin wrapping on? Most people like to wrap in the same direction all the time, which leads to more combing on one side of your head than another, which can potentially lead to breakage for some. I'm so sorry this happened to you. If you think wrapping is the cause of the breakage I suggest only wrapping your hair when it's freshly pressed or you don't have a lot of new growth. When you are dealing with a lot of new growith it's best to just braid, twist, or bun your hair up so you aren't combing excessively. Good thing you caught it before any more breakage could occur.

P.S. When you pressed your hair for easter, did you use a heat protectant? If so, when you washed your hair directly after did you use a sulfate shampoo? I had to deal with excessive dryness and slight breakage in November of last year because I flat ironed my hair using a heat protectant, but when it came time to wash I didn't use a sulfate shampoo because I'd given up sulfates. But the -cones in the heat protectant were blocking the essential moisture and protein from penetrating my hair shaft that were in my treatments, so it was like I was doing nothing at all to my hair.

 

[Kerryann]

Do you use any growth aids?
This would be the time to use one if you dont so that the short side can catch up to the long side

 

[Chevelure618]

This happened to me at my last touch-up. The left side was almost BSL and the right was a little past APL and see-thru. I was so let down after a 14 week stretch.

I decided to snip off the longest point and dust it just enough to make it less noticeable.

My siggy picture is my hair a couple of weeks ago airdried so it has a lot of shrinkage, but the airdry makes it less noticeable.

Try twist outs or other styles that hide it if you don't want to cut it.

 

[Traycee]

Breakage could have come from so many things because you were so far into your stretch..

Common Causes

not properly handling your hair with that much new growth
detangling in correctly
Technique during co washing and shampooing
Too much manlipulation
Not enough moisture or protein
Could have been wearing the bun

It just really hard to say ...You have to be extremely careful stretching you relaxers and low manlipulation is key..

 

[Miamori]

Miamori[/B

Yes I at night I either baggy or plait my hair and cover it with a wrap... my hair is way to unruly right now to do a traditional wrapping method.

As for my daily bun I am not gonna lie it is tight to slick it down I use aloe vera gel... then I proceed to put my hair in a ponytail and one the last loop threw I simply dont pull the hair all the way threw...thats it, but if that is what is causing it I dont understand why all my hair isnt breaking??

Were you doing the "traditional wrap" over the time period your hair must have become uneven?

If not, I think it may grow unevenly, and maybe doing the loop where you don't pull it all the way through is rough on the ends that stay by the ponytail holder. I know my ends get a little dry when I do that now and back in the say they would get a little split from it. Maybe it is also the direction/hand you use when you make the loop... like the ends on one side are likely left in the holder more than the ends on another side.

Still, my guess is the biggest issue is likely uneven growth. The best way to tell would be the next time you get a trim. If it grows unevenly again / more unevenly (if you don't get it trimmed to be even), you will know that's the issue.

Two years ago I noticed my right side always seemed to be the "better" side, like more blunt on the ends, and heavier and slightly longer... I assumed it was only the direction in which I wrapped.

Eventually though, over time, I noticed that no matter what, whenever I got a trim, the right side was ALWAYS longer when I went back in, no matter who did the trim or the method used. Now I simply tell them not to mind the right side for 1 or 2 trims out of the year, and for the third, get it trimmed so it is more even, or at least on an even slant.

If you go to Sylver2's fotki, you can see that her right side grew in longer and thicker than her left, and even though she got it trimmed, the stylist trimmed where it was thickest, which left her hair at a slant (at least that's the theory). If you go to her fotki you might not feel as worried about it, and it might help you determine what's up.

 

[TiZi]

question - did you straighten it yourself? perhaps you were just sloppy with your pressing technique. Does it look like it's the same length when it's wet, and the "different" lengths only show up when it's dry????

I did do it myself...but once I seen there was a difference I went back over it with my chi to make sure...it still may not be as straight as a professional could get it but I don't see 3 inches of curly new growth

 

[TiZi]

I was going to ask how are you wrapping your hair at all, I'm 6 months post and can only wrap my hair after visiting the salon for a press. Other than that I tie my hair up at night and put my bonnet on top of the scarf.

But since you explained how you wrap, it could just be uneven growth. Do you notice any damage on the shorter side, if not I'd say maybe that one side just grows faster, which kind of sucks. But you may not have anything to worry about.

Not any serious damage...Im sure I need a trim as it has been nearly a year since I have visited a stylist...but nothing major