How to get active in my church

[ClassicBeauty]

DH and I visited many churches before we were married to find one that we could both be happy with because we both thought it was important to have one church for our (future) family. I came from a very organized mega-church. He came from a very stuck up, old traditional church. Needless to say, neither of us were happy at the other's church.

Here we are almost a year later, and there are some things that I REALLY don't like about our church. At first, I complained to DH when things were done backwards, with half effort, etc. After a while, it was placed on my heart that God uses those who are willing, not necessarily those with capacity or talent. Well, at my church, it seems as though the rocks are crying out.

The church is filled with talented, competent people, but most of them are young (under 40) and have not been there for generations. (There was a big mess at the church many years ago, and the pastor was kicked out of the United Methodist Church. The church split and many people in the church are new.)

Anyway, the pastor complains about the lack of participation in programs and events outside of Sunday morning services, but it seems to me that the event and programs don't match the membership. People aren't interested in those things. I'm trying to figure out where I could best serve, but it is not an easy task. There's a teen girl ministry, and I thought I could help out there, so I went up to the coordinator and asked to volunteer sometime. She was RUDE and was NOT interested in anyone working with her girls. I had to pray really hard on that because she really hurt my feelings. The ministry leaders are very territorial, and they seem to be afraid that new people want to take over. I don't want to take over, I just wanted to volunteer.erplexed

Even in Sunday services, they have people on the program sometimes who are not articulate, don't pronounce words properly, haven't read the scripture before the read it on the mic, etc. Our old churches would have never allowed that.

I know that intelligence isn't everything, but when you have a church full of intelligent professionals, how can they get active without intimidating the "old heads." At our church, the new, young professionals like the Senior Pastor's sermons on sundays, but that's all they will do. At first I thought it was because they were all to busy being young parents and professionals, but now I think the "old heads" may not be willing to let them in (based on my experience).

FYI-I have volunteered to help however I am needed for Vacation Bible School this summer, but I bet they never call me.

 

[Highly Favored8]

I understand how you feel. Have talked this over with your Pastor? I say this b/c if there is lack of particpation from the members b/c some in your church are very territorial, it seems as though you are not only one who feels this way. JHMO.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I understand how you feel. Have talked this over with your Pastor? I say this b/c if there is lack of particpation from the members b/c some in your church are very territorial, it seems as though you are not only one who feels this way. JHMO.

I haven't talked to him yet. I've been just trying to wrap my head around it all. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the church is Methodist. In Methodist churches, the Pastor is not really in control. He can be transferred to another church at any time. Maybe that's why he doesn't take any authority to make it better. In my former, non-denominational church, the Pastor had authority over everything (which sometimes can be Good or Bad). In DH's Baptist church, they were so uppidity that they were territorial too, but they would never let someone speak who could not pronounce words. That church is very "Old Guard." Even they invited volunteers to help plan events and programs.

Is it a Methodist thing?

 

[Highly Favored8]

I haven't talked to him yet. I've been just trying to wrap my head around it all. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the church is Methodist. In Methodist churches, the Pastor is not really in control. He can be transferred to another church at any time. Maybe that's why he doesn't take any authority to make it better. In my former, non-denominational church, the Pastor had authority over everything (which sometimes can be Good or Bad). In DH's Baptist church, they were so uppidity that they were territorial too, but they would never let someone speak who could not pronounce words. That church is very "Old Guard." Even they invited volunteers to help plan events and programs.

Is it a Methodist thing?

I do not know about the Methodist thing. I mean when you territorial and this same church needs volunteers IDK I am still puzzled on that. However, I would love to know your Pastor's thoughts on it.

My question to you is what kind of ministry you would love and enjoying doing? Then speak to your Pastor on it and move forward and do not allow others to discourage your love and time for the Lord and helping others.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I dont know how much time you have on your hands but maybe you can start a ministry. Talk to the pastor. Get with some other young professionals in the church you know and can trust and start something. Meet monthly or bi-weekly. It can be a young adult ministry (for 21 to 35, if there's alot of those). My church's young adult ministry is called Crossroads and we have bi-weekly meeting called Crossroads Cafe'. They set up a room to have a coffee' house, lounge feel. There's spoken words, fellowship, food, ministering by the director, open discussion forums. We talk about alot of issues facing the young adults; single, married, professionals, college, sex, being a Christian while living in this world, etc...

It can be whatever you feel there's a need in the church and God leads.

I am from a big church too. My church has over 100 ministries and growing. I plan to start a ministry in the next couple years myself.

I grew up in a small Methodist church as well. I didnt like it. I never knew what was going on. Alot of "old heads" running things. So, I understand your struggle.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I dont know how much time you have on your hands but maybe you can start a ministry. Talk to the pastor. Get with some other young professionals in the church you know and can trust and start something. Meet monthly or bi-weekly. It can be a young adult ministry (for 21 to 35, if there's alot of those). My church's young adult ministry is called Crossroads and we have bi-weekly meeting called Crossroads Cafe'. They set up a room to have a coffee' house, lounge feel. There's spoken words, fellowship, food, ministering by the director, open discussion forums. We talk about alot of issues facing the young adults; single, married, professionals, college, sex, being a Christian while living in this world, etc...

It can be whatever you feel there's a need in the church and God leads.

I am from a big church too. My church has over 100 ministries and growing. I plan to start a ministry in the next couple years myself.

I grew up in a small Methodist church as well. I didnt like it. I never knew what was going on. Alot of "old heads" running things. So, I understand your struggle.

The strange thing is that this UMC church is not small. It's not Mega, but there are at least 1,000 per Sunday. There are 3 services each Sunday. (The last one has the smallest attendance.) There are some things that we really like there. There are tons of young families, we have a lot of friends there, we even joined the young married cell group (that doesn't meet regularly...and the members have begged the leader for an agenda and a more planned out session...that the leader (asst pastor) is ALWAYS an hour or 2 late for meetings, etc).

 

[daydreem2876]

I haven't talked to him yet. I've been just trying to wrap my head around it all. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the church is Methodist. In Methodist churches, the Pastor is not really in control. He can be transferred to another church at any time. Maybe that's why he doesn't take any authority to make it better. In my former, non-denominational church, the Pastor had authority over everything (which sometimes can be Good or Bad). In DH's Baptist church, they were so uppidity that they were territorial too, but they would never let someone speak who could not pronounce words. That church is very "Old Guard." Even they invited volunteers to help plan events and programs.

Is it a Methodist thing?

I am a Methodist as well, and every thing you have described is typical in the church. But it is also this type of behavior that pushes people not to get involved or participate in events. I want to encourage you totalk to your pastor, let him know your concerns, let him know you are willing to help and work in the church. But also become involved in the ministries that interest you. Yes, they are going to be nasty at first but your particpation is not about them. Its is about allowing yourself to be used for the glory of God. It is about ministering to someone else.

 

[Zaynab]

I haven't talked to him yet. I've been just trying to wrap my head around it all. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the church is Methodist. In Methodist churches, the Pastor is not really in control. He can be transferred to another church at any time. Maybe that's why he doesn't take any authority to make it better. In my former, non-denominational church, the Pastor had authority over everything (which sometimes can be Good or Bad). In DH's Baptist church, they were so uppidity that they were territorial too, but they would never let someone speak who could not pronounce words. That church is very "Old Guard." Even they invited volunteers to help plan events and programs.

Is it a Methodist thing?

Uh yeah. I grew up Methodist and until recently went to an AME church. We had the same problems you're speaking of, old heads and older members wanting to "run" the church. I also have to say that IME we've encountered alot of scandal with our Methodist pastors I'm not trying to label anyone at all, but it's just been our experience. Our former pastor tried to hit on me and then later told me that AME elders told him it was "best" to sleep around with married women they felt the need to cheat since they were safer would call less drama, etc.

About getting involved--we encounted ALOT of the same issues. I could have written your post. Heck you should have just emailed me directly I am someone who is very invovled in my community via other organizations so when I would try and bring new ideas in, the older members would be like "well we've always done this..." or came up with some other objection. It just seemed like they weren't ready for change. It's funny because there was ALOT of youth in our church, married couples between 25-40 who were passive attendees of church but wanted to also get invovled and felt their ideas were just pushed to the side BUT the pastor always stressed how the younger members were the "future" of the church. I could never see it though.

We go to a non-denominational church now. It's mixed race but I really enjoy it. We were very hesistant about leaving the comfort and familiarity of our all black church but we've very pleased. It really felt like we were going against what we believed in and wanted for our boys. We are involved in ministires that I'm very commmitted to.

We have "small groups" that meet weekly or on Sundays after church--it feels like a family. It took some getting used to especially b/c dh is not a major fan of non-black people but we're there to get the word and not worry about who works where, who drives what and who wore what kind of bag. I'm over the all black church thing and while I think there are some great ones out there. I didn't like the competition with the younger people in our age group and again IME, alot of all black churches don't have really good children's ministries which is something that is VERY important to us.