Going Natural When "Older"?

[BlackMasterPiece]

Like I said, fair enough charmtreese

 

[msa]

Cosign....Lately I've noticed that most of the (active) members of the hair side of the board seem to be natural or transitioning to natural and it's never "bothered" me until this thread. As I was reading through I had to do a double take to see which hair board I was on.

Clearly we're not on "that" hair board because if we were there wouldn't be threads created by relaxed heads every other day talking about "I'm relaxed, natural just isn't for me, sorry naturals" as if naturals on the board actually care and have given the poster's hair a moment's thought.

 

[tocktick]

Cosign....Lately I've noticed that most of the (active) members of the hair side of the board seem to be natural or transitioning to natural and it's never "bothered" me until this thread. As I was reading through I had to do a double take to see which hair board I was on.

I've been here since 2007 and there seems to have been way more controversial threads and opinions on this board regarding relaxed/natural hair. This thread just isn't in the same league. So I'm surprised this particular thread, which doesn't even have a large number of naturals expressing so-called offensive opinions, is the one to really bother you since the 4 years you've been here.

Even if you think the naturals in this thread are out of line, the fact those of us who have posted are vastly outnumbered by the active naturals/transitioners who haven't posted should let you know this board is in no way going the way of some other types of boards.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Seriously, I never asked or needed relaxed ladies to justify themselves to me in the first place, but when you post "oh its too expensive" "oh well I'd have to have a stylist" "oh well it takes too much time" "I don't wanna shave myself bald" I'm gonna point out that its patently false.

All you gotta say is I'm not ready for that right now or I prefer being relaxed you don't have to come up with an excuse lol, cuz when you do, people are gonna let you know if its fact or fiction. Point blank.

 

[charmtreese]

That phrase is all too common when people speak of going natural. I heard this all the time growing up, and still hear it now from time to time.

What people mean by that is "I'll go natural when I reach a point in my life where I'm no longer concerned with looking sexy beautiful and attractive" what they're really saying is "I'll go natural when I let myself go" because many still equate wearing one's natural texture out for the world to see with being unkempt and not beautiful. It's thinly veiled ignorance in my experience.

*the way ljbee meant it would be the exception of course*

Theres nothing wrong with it, I just took exception to the statement that being natural is inherently expensive. It's only expensive if you make it so.

I don't know why so many people are up in a tizzy suddenly feeling the need to justify themselves all I said was SOME people have coded language when they say certain things about going natural and people are misconstruing it as if I said some kind of blanket statement about all those that relax.

no where in my initial post did i say "all relaxed women are this" if you feel the need to justify your hair choices, then maybe you should look into why that is, cuz aint nobody in here forcing you to lol

Actually you didn't say the word "SOME" in your original post! I quoted you and put what you said in bold!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

the disclaimer I put on the bottom of my initial post (meaning the sentence within the asterisks) was meant to convey that that particular statement didnt apply to all as evidenced by ljbee's post, hope that clarified the nuances for ya

 

[Neith]

They all have their own reasons.

Why did anyone wait until any age to transition? Feels right to them for whatever reason.

If someone was like "Well, why did you wait until you were 24 to go natural?"

Um. I felt like it.

No, I didn't have issues with being natural, it's not a cost thing, I didn't let myself go - it is just how it played out. I wanted different looks at different points in my life. Now I want to be natural.

lol.

It's not a decision that one needs to make excuses for (or to judge someone on)... we all travel down our on path in life.

 

[J Hazel]

Seriously, I never asked or needed relaxed ladies to justify themselves to me in the first place, but when you post "oh its too expensive" "oh well I'd have to have a stylist" "oh well it takes too much time" "I don't wanna shave myself bald" I'm gonna point out that its patently false.

All you gotta say is I'm not ready for that right now or I prefer being relaxed you don't have to come up with an excuse lol, cuz when you do, people are gonna let you know if its fact or fiction. Point blank.

SO TRUE BLACKMASTERPIECE, SO TRUE!!!

 

[charmtreese]

the disclaimer I put on the bottom of my initial post (meaning the sentence within the asterisks) was meant to convey that that particular statement didnt apply to all as evidenced by ljbee's post, hope that clarified the nuances for ya

Ummm okay!

 

[dicapr]

Seriously, I never asked or needed relaxed ladies to justify themselves to me in the first place, but when you post "oh its too expensive" "oh well I'd have to have a stylist" "oh well it takes too much time" "I don't wanna shave myself bald" I'm gonna point out that its patently false.

All you gotta say is I'm not ready for that right now or I prefer being relaxed you don't have to come up with an excuse lol, cuz when you do, people are gonna let you know if its fact or fiction. Point blank.

Just because they are not valid reasons for YOU doesn't mean it is not valid. I have been relaxed, natural, texlaxed, and now I am transitioning to a straight haired natural. There is no need to call someone out because you do not understand their reasons. Some individuals lack the patience to transition-hence the BC threads. Some individuals are unskilled in caring for their own hair, even as naturals. For me, I have arthritis in my hands and twististing, braids, ect leave me in pain. So yes, I need someone to do those styles for me. So finances and travel are a valid consideration for me on how I decide to style my hair. Its just not valid for you. Just because you were able to successfully go and stay natural does not negate anyone elses journey.

 

[taz007]

Just because they are not valid reasons for YOU doesn't mean it is not valid. I have been relaxed, natural, texlaxed, and now I am transitioning to a straight haired natural. There is no need to call someone out because you do not understand their reasons. Some individuals lack the patience to transition-hence the BC threads. Some individuals are unskilled in caring for their own hair, even as naturals. For me, I have arthritis in my hands and twististing, braids, ect leave me in pain. So yes, I need someone to do those styles for me. So finances and travel are a valid consideration for me on how I decide to style my hair. Its just not valid for you. Just because you were able to successfully go and stay natural does not negate anyone elses journey.

Preach!!! I am going to add a portion of this to my siggy! (I hope that you do not mind)

The ignore list is such a beautiful thing ...

 

[msa]

Just because they are not valid reasons for YOU doesn't mean it is not valid. I have been relaxed, natural, texlaxed, and now I am transitioning to a straight haired natural. There is no need to call someone out because you do not understand their reasons. Some individuals lack the patience to transition-hence the BC threads. Some individuals are unskilled in caring for their own hair, even as naturals. For me, I have arthritis in my hands and twististing, braids, ect leave me in pain. So yes, I need someone to do those styles for me. So finances and travel are a valid consideration for me on how I decide to style my hair. Its just not valid for you. Just because you were able to successfully go and stay natural does not negate anyone elses journey.

Girl I feel you on the bold. Just don't become a lazy natural like me. I've been wearing my hair in the same dry cowashed puff for the last 4 days and it is on its last leg.

 

[msa]

The ignore list is such a beautiful thing ...

OT...why do people do that? Why announce who are you're going to put on ignore? It's kind of rude and petty.

 

[taz007]

...................................................

 

[msa]

Just updated the list ...

 

[J Hazel]

The ignore list is such a beautiful thing ...[/QUOTE]


That's so sad of you to even announce you're going to even do that.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Just because they are not valid reasons for YOU doesn't mean it is not valid. I have been relaxed, natural, texlaxed, and now I am transitioning to a straight haired natural. There is no need to call someone out because you do not understand their reasons.

Call out? I didn't call out anyone in this thread.

Some individuals lack the patience to transition-hence the BC threads. Some individuals are unskilled in caring for their own hair, even as naturals. For me, I have arthritis in my hands and twististing, braids, ect leave me in pain. So yes, I need someone to do those styles for me.

Thats fair

So finances and travel are a valid consideration for me on how I decide to style my hair. Its just not valid for you. Just because you were able to successfully go and stay natural does not negate anyone elses journey.

I definitely was never tryna "negate" anyone's journey.

People seem to be hyper-defensive tonight so I think I've said all i'm gonna say on the subject for now. I wish you all the best on your healthy hair journey and I hope your arthritis gets better.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

HILARIOUS!!!

 

[*Happily Me*]

well, i've said i'll go natural or loc'ed when i'm older and if i'm honest, here's what i've noticed.

when my hair is straightened, I get mad play. When my hair is like it is in my siggy, I don't get as much play from men. but I still choose to wear my hair in non-heat styles. So i know when i'm chem -free, the pickings might be slimmer for me.

I'll probably loc my hair

 

[J Hazel]

Just updated the list ...

Don't you have anything better to do girl? Obviously not...

 

[Neith]

Clearly we're not on "that" hair board because if we were there wouldn't be threads created by relaxed heads every other day talking about "I'm relaxed, natural just isn't for me, sorry naturals" as if naturals on the board actually care and have given the poster's hair a moment's thought.

Now, that's the honest truth. You really made me lol.


Some relaxed women do have issues and they do spew BS on the regular. BUT so do some naturals!

I've actually gotten my fair share of BS from naturals, believe it or not

So I don't think anyone should be pointing the finger trying to determine who BS's more. Collectively, we all do it.

Naturals aren't automatically "enlightened" just because we decided to go natural before someone else does.

We're all individuals, I'm sure some relaxed people have good reasons for being relaxed. Some don't. In any case, it's not our call to make unless it's our hair.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

well, i've said i'll go natural or loc'ed when i'm older and if i'm honest, here's what i've noticed.

when my hair is straightened, I get mad play. When my hair is like it is in my siggy, I don't get as much play from men. but I still choose to wear my hair in non-heat styles. So i know when i'm chem -free, the pickings might be slimmer for me.

I'll probably loc my hair

You have some LOVELY hair! You're dsylla on youtube right? gorgeous, if you were in a big city, I think you'd get mad play

 

[charmtreese]

Someone left the bridge unattended....now the trolls are on the loose!!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

This board helped educate me on both relaxed and natural. I love it here. Can't we all get along?

 

[*Happily Me*]

You have some LOVELY hair! You're dsylla on youtube right? gorgeous, if you were in a big city, I think you'd get mad play

I'm dsylla and thanks!!

and I live in NYC.. Well, i'm in Hoboken but that's 10 mins from Manhattan and I'm there every weekend.

It kills me that I KNOW men are not stepping up because of my unkempt (in their eyes) looking hair. Perhaps it's the places I go to... The same crowd is usually present.

 

[J Hazel]

Off topic, BlackMasterPiece you've got some gorgeous hair girlee!!! I love the way your pixie braids came out, before you took them out. May have to do that style someday.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I'm dsylla and thanks!!

and I live in NYC.. Well, i'm in Hoboken but that's 10 mins from Manhattan and I'm there every weekend.

It kills me that I KNOW men are not stepping up because of my unkempt (in their eyes) looking hair. Perhaps it's the places I go to... The same crowd is usually present.

Oh its ALL about the places you go love it makes a WORLD of differenceswitch up to some new spots and see what happens

Off topic, BlackMasterPiece you've got some gorgeous hair girlee!!! I love the way your pixie braids came out, before you took them out. May have to do that style someday.

Thanksomuch hun!

*sighs* I miss the wash and go days of my pixies I was sooooo spoiled for that month I had alota fun with em

 

[LiberianGirl]

Now, that's the honest truth. You really made me lol.


Some relaxed women do have issues and they do spew BS on the regular. BUT so do some naturals!

I've actually gotten my fair share of BS from naturals, believe it or not

So I don't think anyone should be pointing the finger trying to determine who BS's more. Collectively, we all do it.

Naturals aren't automatically "enlightened" just because we decided to go natural before someone else does.

We're all individuals, I'm sure some relaxed people have good reasons for being relaxed. Some don't. In any case, it's not our call to make unless it's our hair.

Most sensible post yet. I'm all for natural hair but dang'it I wish some naturals would get off their high horses and soap boxes. Jeezerplexed

 

[Neith]

I'm dsylla and thanks!!

and I live in NYC.. Well, i'm in Hoboken but that's 10 mins from Manhattan and I'm there every weekend.

It kills me that I KNOW men are not stepping up because of my unkempt (in their eyes) looking hair. Perhaps it's the places I go to... The same crowd is usually present.

What?!?

They must be some crazy dudes.

Your hair looks lush, healthy, long and beautiful!

 

[J Hazel]

Thanksomuch hun!

*sighs* I miss the wash and go days of my pixies I was sooooo spoiled for that month I had alota fun with em[/QUOTE]


I'm wearing my hair in twists at the moment, whiuch I absolutely love.