Do you ever feel ugly because of your hair?

[caltron]

I'm a 4a natural. My bad hair days as a natural affect me much more profoundly than my bad hair days with straightened hair. Being natural already sets you apart from everyone else, so when I have a bad hair day, I just feel completely conspicuous. I get so paranoid feeling like everyone is snickering about my hair. When I was relaxed and pressed, I had many a bad hair day, and it affected me too, but I didn't feel as paranoid.

Part of my problem is that I am not a good stylist. Even when I was relaxed/pressed, I could never get my hair to look "done." Now that I'm natural, I feel more pressure to always look fly because I almost feel like I give naturals a bad name if I don't. Even when I go out thinking my hair is looking cute, I usually worry that I haven't done something right and worry that even the natural girls think it looks crazy.

I know this is all in my head because even on my bad hair days, I have had men approach me and I've never had anyone make a negative comment. I've even had a couple of people give me compliments on my textured low ponypuffs, but the little voice in my head just says they're just being nice.

Still, even with my lingering hair issues, I'm really happy with my decision to go natural. My hair has never been longer and healthier, and every day I get better with styling.

 

[BeatriceFly]

i feel less attractive right now like crazy
i took my cornrows out
been cornrowing for a month by the way
and my mother did NOT feel like doing it again
so right now i got two plaits looking like celie
is that how you spell plaits?
anyway, and im not feeling cute and dont know what to do
and buns dont really do good on my hair
hey well maybe i can just twist my hair tomorrow
i have all day
i need to learn how to do my own hair, im 20!! geez
but yes, so unattractive i feel
and its okay
we all go thru it
black hair white hair spanish hair

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I'm being patient and letting the not-so-fab hair of today slowly become the hair everyone wants tomorrow. But it's hard...

AGREED! 100% Ever since I have been transitioning and learning to style my own hair, people have been looking at me sideways...one day after a hair experiment gone wrong before bible study (it was either go looking crazy or not go at all) even my Pastor was like...girl its time to go to the shop He's real like that... I told him that I was transitioning out of my relaxer and not using heat but promised to take more time to keep it neat but I wasnt going to the shop...

So believe you me...I understand! I dont feel as confident while I am learning to tame my hair....especially since I moved WHILE I transitioned so nobody here me with my hair pretty...they just think I dont know NOTHING about hair...LOL...

It works out well for me because I am transitioning at the same time that I have set aside to NOT DATE...so I aint trying to attract no attention or impress nobody...so it works for me....

Its cool though...I gotta plan...and they will see in about a year or so..and they are gonna be like

 

[plove]

No not for me, I really don't care what ppl think about me so when my hair look like a H.A.M. it doesn't bother me it's my forehead that i had to learn to accept because it's bigggg. lol now it don't bother me either.

 

[babyanjel]

Yup, I know the feeling, I feel ugly with short hair, lets not lie, it doesn't suit me aswell as long hair. However my man loves it, and he doesn't care if I kept my 4a/b hair 1/4 of a inch long. My hair was hard 2 handle and unruly at 8inches, I'd cry and get depressed and want to relax it. Don't get me wrong I love my natural hair, but it took 2hours 2 comb before I can braid it. My bbay accepts me the way I am, he said he never wants to see me with a relaxer (or drain cleaner as he likes 2 call it), and that I should grow it out big and long. Even thought I hear these words of encouragement I still feel UGLY.

I can't help it though, when my hair is did I just look and feel so fly, and when it aint done (or short like this), I just feel down.

I thought my SO was the only one that called relaxers that...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

AGREED! 100% Ever since I have been transitioning and learning to style my own hair, people have been looking at me sideways...one day after a hair experiment gone wrong before bible study (it was either go looking crazy or not go at all) even my Pastor was like...girl its time to go to the shop He's real like that... I told him that I was transitioning out of my relaxer and not using heat but promised to take more time to keep it neat but I wasnt going to the shop...

So believe you me...I understand! I dont feel as confident while I am learning to tame my hair....especially since I moved WHILE I transitioned so nobody here me with my hair pretty...they just think I dont know NOTHING about hair...LOL...

It works out well for me because I am transitioning at the same time that I have set aside to NOT DATE...so I aint trying to attract no attention or impress nobody...so it works for me....

Its cool though...I gotta plan...and they will see in about a year or so..and they are gonna be like

I'm not dating right now either. Nope, no dating now.

 

[dicapr]

I am relaxed and sometimes my hair makes me feel ugly. I try to keep my hair in protective styles, however many of the styles I can do don't fit my face shape. I look neat, but in my opinion, not attractive. I like the way my hair looks down, but I want it to grow and be healthy. But some days, I see myself in the mrror an walk away feeling just ugly.

 

[1QTPie]

I think that my hair can be my strongest feature and my downfall at the same time. There are times when I feel so beautiful because my hair is on point. But lately (last few months) I've felt less attractive because of my natural hair. Am I the only one?

sorry you feel this way at times. I have never felt this way about my nappy hair.

 

[HoneyDew]

sorry you feel this way at times. I have never felt this way about my nappy hair.

Yeah, I don't think I would feel that being natural. I would be SO cute Nappy! I see some beautiful natural hair these days.

I just don't have it in me to make the switch.

But, most of my not so cuteness these days is from wearign my hair up EVERYDAY. I just feel cuter when my hair is down. Even more so because it is growing.

oh, well. The day will come!

 

[Southernbella.]

I can honestly say that since I found this board, I haven't felt ugly because of my hair. I think the fact that it's healthy and growing is what makes me happy, so whether I'm having a bad hair day or not, I still feel good because I know what my hair is capable of.

 

[CandiceC]

I'm sick of protective styling, but I'm trying to have some really great progress before I start wearing my hair down again.

I don't feel ugly. I just don't feel as cute when my hair isn't done.

 

[Isis]

I am relaxed and sometimes my hair makes me feel ugly. I try to keep my hair in protective styles, however many of the styles I can do don't fit my face shape. I look neat, but in my opinion, not attractive. I like the way my hair looks down, but I want it to grow and be healthy. But some days, I see myself in the mrror an walk away feeling just ugly.

When I first came to LHCF, I didn't know what to do with my hair and had not worn protective styles before. All protective styles do not look good on my face either. What I did was play around with one protective style I learned at a time, until it looked consistently cute. For example, a bun on the top or back of my head just doesn't look right, no matter how I dress it up. I put my bun all over my head until I discovered how pretty, even elegant it looks when worn low in the back or low on one side. Low, braided buns looked even better to me. Then I'd learn another protective style and practiced until I loved it, perfected it and got compliments on it all the time.

BTW, wearing the hair down in braidouts, twistouts and rollersets can be great ways to grow hair out.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I'm sick of protective styling, but I'm trying to have some really great progress before I start wearing my hair down again.

I don't feel ugly. I just don't feel as cute when my hair isn't done.

Couldn't have said it better. I feel exactly the same way.

 

[caribeandiva]

well i have relaxed hair and i know how you feel. i usually have my "ugly" days when i don't take time to do my hair in ponytail properly. then it gets all lumpy looking. i always feel good after a good flatiron session.

 

[sweetgal]

Yes, I wish I did not feel that way though

 

[Poohbear]

Sometimes... NOT because my hair's natural and NOT because of my hair texture... I don't necessarily feel "ugly" but maybe childish,young, or cute instead of pretty, gorgeous, or beautiful...especially with a wash-n-go puff... But I've always felt this way, even when I had relaxed hair... People always think I look like a high school graduate...I can never look my age (22), whatever that's suppose to look like!

 

[Candy_C]

my hair actually makes up alot of my beauty!

i think thats because i have a lot of it. if i was natural too i would still be as attractive as i am now, asLONG as theres LOTS of it. i do not suit short/lank hair at all

 

[LovelyZ]

I wear a bun almost everyday and I think I look so plain. I think I look the most attractive when I wear it down in a good rollerset. It could be because of my own bias, but it seems like people notice me more and look at me differently too when its styled that way.