Beware of 'Missionary' Dating

[BeautifulFlower]

Yesterday I had dinner with an old high school/college friend. He had been discussing over the previous week about how he renounced his Christianity. Of course, this grieved my spirit because though he believes in God, he thinks the story of Jesus is a lie. So, he asked to meet up and I said I have a strict no-dating policy. But of course, I thought to myself..."Maybe God can use me to say something encouraging to him and if he has more question I know a young minister in my church who would love to speak with him....

So after explaining to him that this is in no way romantic and he already knew I would never have anything more with him then aquaintenceship because of his beliefs, we meet after work. He went further indepth about his current beliefs. I was like WOW he just took Jesus right out of the equation...

When I went home and rested for the night, my heart and mind was so conflicted. I was like, "I cant ever see or speak to him again". Its terrible because Jesus eat with tax collectors and sinners so you dont want to do anything to reject those that need Jesus. But this guy seemed to have his mind made up.

Then I read the beginning of Lady in Waiting on Amazon and it all made sense. She referenced two scriptures that put it all together:
Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffer harm.
~I was literally suffering last night in my bed. It was like I was being attacked or something. Like whatever spirit he had on him, jumped on me. Very very weird.

1 Cor. Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals.
~I have surrounded myself with alot of godly women for the first time in my life. I am so accustomed to having all these male friends but now majority are gone (im in contact with one now). They keep me in line and support my growing walk with God. He and I can never be friends.

I say all this to say:

• If you meet a nice guy that is not a Christian beware. If he has questions, put him in contact with a male minister you know and trust.
• Beware of trying to 'save' people. Even if they ask questions, they are probably doing it to get in your pants most of the time.
• If you have friends, male or female, they are either drawing you closer to God or pulling you away from Him. If your influence isnt strong, you'll eventually will stop growing in Him.

 

[PinkPebbles]

Then I read the beginning of Lady in Waiting on Amazon and it all made sense. She referenced two scriptures that put it all together:
Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffer harm.
~I was literally suffering last night in my bed. It was like I was being attacked or something. Like whatever spirit he had on him, jumped on me. Very very weird.

1 Cor. Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals.
~I have surrounded myself with alot of godly women for the first time in my life. I am so accustomed to having all these male friends but now majority are gone (im in contact with one now). They keep me in line and support my growing walk with God. He and I can never be friends.

I say all this to say:

• If you meet a nice guy that is not a Christian beware. If he has questions, put him in contact with a male minister you know and trust.
• Beware of trying to 'save' people. Even if they ask questions, they are probably doing it to get in your pants most of the time.
• If you have friends, male or female, they are either drawing you closer to God or pulling you away from Him. If your influence isnt strong, you'll eventually will stop growing in Him.

AMEN, AMEN, AND AMEN . I'm glad you realized this on the first encounter. Do not feel bad that you made a decision not to be his friend! We as Christian women are not anyone's Savior, only the Lord Jesus Christ.

Trust, you have already planted a seed in that young man with your first encounter; therefore, keep it moving. The Lord will send someone else whether it is male or female to water that seed. But God Almighty will develop and grow that seed and give the ultimate increase in that young man.

I'm happy for you PrettyfaceandB.

 

[PaperClip]

Sorta joking...sorta not....

Soooo... come on, admit it... you just wanted a free meal?

You said he RENOUNCED his Christianity...which is a whole lot different from not being exposed to the faith or had not confessed his sins and professed the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Renounce means to no longer recognize, refuse to obey something/someone. That's on a whole different level. NOWHERE near missionary dating... which I do not advocate and I don't even think I'm capable of doing because I am not that good an actress. My people say that my theme song should be "It's written all over yo' face! You don't have to say a word...." I'd probably look at brother man like "Thank you for the free meal and you need JESUS! End of meal.

I mean he could have been ministered to over the phone... by email... Facebook, MySpace, even....

I'm just saying our minds and our hearts can make stuff sound real good and justifiable but then when the layers are peeled away, we got to see that thing for what it is....

 

[PinkPebbles]

I'm really glad you posted this PrettyFanceandB because "Missionary Dating" needed to be pointed out. When you step out on faith and decide to live for Christ and not date; you will be tempted with some of the most attractive, charming, cunning men. And the biggest deception from the enemy is that you can lead the man to Christ. Meanwhile, the man is not interested in Christ or the things of God but rather a challenge to manipulate you and see how far he can get with your mind, body, and soul.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Sorta joking...sorta not....

Soooo... come on, admit it... you just wanted a free meal?

You said he RENOUNCED his Christianity...which is a whole lot different from not being exposed to the faith or had not confessed his sins and professed the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.


I mean he could have been ministered to over the phone... by email... Facebook, MySpace, even....

I'm just saying our minds and our hearts can make stuff sound real good and justifiable but then when the layers are peeled away, we got to see that thing for what it is....

Girl dont blast me on LHCF!!! Yeah, I was kind of hungry so hey at least I got fed. I actually didnt say a whole lot. I listened mostly and I realized there was much I could say. I told him why I believe in Jesus and he gave me a mouth full about that.

Im a face to face kind of gal and I havent seen him in a while so I didnt mind seeing him but I knew I had no interest in him so I left it at that.

And yes he RENOUCE...no longer acknowledges Christianity as a valid faith. Used to be one...he's not anymore. Kind of creepy....says he'll figure it out in the summer time

AMEN, AMEN, AND AMEN . I'm glad you realized this on the first encounter. Do not feel bad that you made a decision not to be his friend! We as Christian women are not anyone's Savior, only the Lord Jesus Christ.

Trust, you have already planted a seed in that young man with your first encounter; therefore, keep it moving. The Lord will send someone else whether it is male or female to water that seed. But God Almighty will develop and grow that seed and give the ultimate increase in that young man.

I'm happy for you PrettyfaceandB.

I am too. He asked to hang again. I dont know why. We have nothing in common. I told him we'll see. I hope he realizes that and doesnt call anymore. He has alot of baggage. If I planted a seed I am happy. But I am more happy that I am wising up about people in general. I used to welcome everyone with open arms. I know now I can not do that. Thank you.

 

[PaperClip]

Girl dont blast me on LHCF!!! Yeah, I was kind of hungry so hey at least I got fed. I actually didnt say a whole lot. I listened mostly and I realized there was much I could say. I told him why I believe in Jesus and he gave me a mouth full about that.

Im a face to face kind of gal and I havent seen him in a while so I didnt mind seeing him but I knew I had no interest in him so I left it at that.

And yes he RENOUCE...no longer acknowledges Christianity as a valid faith. Used to be one...he's not anymore. Kind of creepy....says he'll figure it out in the summer time

And I get that Christianity doesn't mean isolation, you know.... Not that we should not associate with anyone who doesn't know Christ because 1) it's relatively impossible and 2) defeats the purpose of the Great Commission. We're supposed to go out and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ unto the world.

I'm hearing more stories about people who have seemingly renounced the Lord Jesus Christ and through the passion of their newfound 'whatever, it becomes very weird... when is enough ministering enough? When is it too much? What is the wisdom needed here?

 

[Southernbella.]

Great post, PRANB!

My old youth minister used to compare it to standing on a table and trying to pull someone up onto the table with you. They have more leverage than you do, so they will always pull you down to their level.

 

[PinkPebbles]

Great post, PRANB!

My old youth minister used to compare it to standing on a table and trying to pull someone up onto the table with you. They have more leverage than you do, so they will always pull you down to their level.

This is indeed a great analogy!

 

[DreamLife]

Thanks for posting this. Before I knew better I did the "missionary dating" thing. It was to this date one of the worst mistakes of my life. It took me away from God, and of course, the relationship went downhill. The worst thing was at the end he said "the only reason why I was going along with this whole 'Christian' thing was because I just got tired of you nagging me about it...I'm not even sure what I believe." And my influence was definently weaker than his. It caused me to really digress in my faith as a Christian and I am just now getting back on the right track. All over a man. Never again will I let missionary dating happen or ever lead to a serious relationship because I know it will take me so far away from God. I guess its the lesson I had to learn. I bought the book "Lady in Waiting." Its a really good book.

Recently I met a guy and we were getting to know each other for about 3 weeks. I mentioned God a lot and he was like "I need to discuss with you my beliefs." He explained how he didn't believe that the whole bible was inspired by God and problems he had with things Paul wrote. He was explaining all this confusion he had with theology. That day, I told my accountability partner and I decided to just nip it in the bud after that conversation. Then he sent me some emails talking about I need help and I think you can help me. I sent him an online bible site explaining Christianity and told him that he needs to talk with a Christian counselor or professional and that I cannot help him figure out what he believes. And that was that.

I'm single now, and I'm praying to God to make better decisions in courtship and selecting a mate. Thank God I didn't marry my ex! (We were together for 3.5 years).

I find that when I'm on here (not much) I'm always telling my business...but I hope it helps someone!

 

[hopeful]

Great thread PrettyFace.

 

[Essensual]

Brava, Sis!

We are to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. I think sometimes we get deceived because we neglect the first part of this statement.

This needs to be discussed openly with our young ladies, because there is so much negative pressure to conform to society's way of living. Continue to raise up the standard.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Brava, Sis!

We are to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. I think sometimes we get deceived because we neglect the first part of this statement.

This needs to be discussed openly with our young ladies, because there is so much negative pressure to conform to society's way of living. Continue to raise up the standard.

Im working on the serpent part. I thinking I am doing ok so far. That meeting solidified in my mind why I dont date. Repeating that over and over with different men on a regular basis would be emotionally draining and depressing. I just need ONE. I dont need options. Just ONE from God.

Thanks for posting this. Before I knew better I did the "missionary dating" thing. It was to this date one of the worst mistakes of my life. It took me away from God, and of course, the relationship went downhill. The worst thing was at the end he said "the only reason why I was going along with this whole 'Christian' thing was because I just got tired of you nagging me about it...I'm not even sure what I believe." And my influence was definently weaker than his. It caused me to really digress in my faith as a Christian and I am just now getting back on the right track. All over a man. Never again will I let missionary dating happen or ever lead to a serious relationship because I know it will take me so far away from God. I guess its the lesson I had to learn. I bought the book "Lady in Waiting." Its a really good book.

Recently I met a guy and we were getting to know each other for about 3 weeks. I mentioned God a lot and he was like "I need to discuss with you my beliefs." He explained how he didn't believe that the whole bible was inspired by God and problems he had with things Paul wrote. He was explaining all this confusion he had with theology. That day, I told my accountability partner and I decided to just nip it in the bud after that conversation. Then he sent me some emails talking about I need help and I think you can help me. I sent him an online bible site explaining Christianity and told him that he needs to talk with a Christian counselor or professional and that I cannot help him figure out what he believes. And that was that.

I'm single now, and I'm praying to God to make better decisions in courtship and selecting a mate. Thank God I didn't marry my ex! (We were together for 3.5 years).

I find that when I'm on here (not much) I'm always telling my business...but I hope it helps someone!

Girl, you and me both. I would have woke up after we're married like, LORD, help me and my future children.

 

[Love Always]

Im working on the serpent part. I thinking I am doing ok so far. That meeting solidified in my mind why I dont date. Repeating that over and over with different men on a regular basis would be emotionally draining and depressing. I just need ONE. I dont need options. Just ONE from God.

Thank you for sharing your experience. This really stood out to me, I've always believed that dating on a regular basis isn't neccasry . In my opinoin it doesn't take all that, all I need is the one from the Lord.

 

[Shimmie]

This is a powerful thread and a power testimony PrettyFace.

So many Christian women have been caught up in the 'snares' of deception, thinking that 'they can be a good witness', and so too often their witness gets compromised.

You are a powerful witness in the fact that you sought the Lord and heard His word and received it with all of your heart.

Continued blessings on your ministry. God is truly using you and I believe with all of my heart that He is 'well pleased'. ....

I also applaude the powerful posts from 'Foxy Scholar', Dream Life, Southern Bella, PinkPebbles, Nisha and Essensual. I'm so blessed reading this thread.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thank you Big Sister. Your words are always uplifting and I always feel blessed reading your post.

I just like to share whatever I think some of the other sister, especially single sister, may encounter while they wait for their Knight in Shining Armor.

This is a powerful thread and a power testimony PrettyFace.

So many Christian women have been caught up in the 'snares' of deception, thinking that 'they can be a good witness', and so too often their witness gets compromised.

You are a powerful witness in the fact that you sought the Lord and heard His word and received it with all of your heart.

Continued blessings on your ministry. God is truly using you and I believe with all of my heart that He is 'well pleased'. ....

I also applaude the powerful posts from 'Foxy Scholar', Dream Life, Southern Bella, PinkPebbles, Nisha and Essensual. I'm so blessed reading this thread.