Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7

Hi ladies, and God bless you all! I'm new to this forum and SO exctied to join this challenge. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am 26, and glory be to God, am still a virgin. I grew up in a home where I was encouraged to wait until marriage and most of my friends believe the same way I do. My parents were both virgins on their wedding night, and when my brother married his wife at age 25, they were both virgins too. They have continued to encourage me to reap the benefits of staying faithful to God and my body.

I have, however, in past relationships, engaged in heavy petting that should not have gone on. I almost lost my virginity to my ex last year (emphasis on EX) when he tried to trick me into sleeping with him. I did have partial blame though, I shouldn't have let anything start to begin with!

My future goal is to have a godly relationship and not engage in immoral behavior. God bless you again.
 
fivefoursweetie said:
Hi, Im new to the site and this post. I am in on the challenge. I struggle with remaining celibate. Please keep me in your prayers, because I would like to complete this challenge. There were lots of great suggestions that I hope will help me while dating to refrain from sexual activities. Thank you and God bless. Also, is anyone on this post from the Chicago area, cause I just moved here, and it would be nice to hook up with a sister in christ out here.

Alright. :yay: Welcome to the forum and the challenge.
I don't live in Chicago, but I'll be your sista in Christ. :kiss:
God Bless you for taking this step. :angel:
 
shunemite said:
Hi ladies, and God bless you all! I'm new to this forum and SO exctied to join this challenge. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am 26, and glory be to God, am still a virgin. I grew up in a home where I was encouraged to wait until marriage and most of my friends believe the same way I do. My parents were both virgins on their wedding night, and when my brother married his wife at age 25, they were both virgins too. They have continued to encourage me to reap the benefits of staying faithful to God and my body.

I have, however, in past relationships, engaged in heavy petting that should not have gone on. I almost lost my virginity to my ex last year (emphasis on EX) when he tried to trick me into sleeping with him. I did have partial blame though, I shouldn't have let anything start to begin with!

My future goal is to have a godly relationship and not engage in immoral behavior. God bless you again.

WOO-HOO!! :yay: Amen and God bless you for taking this challenge.

Welcome to the forum and the challenge. :)

You are in good company with the sistas in Christ of this forum. :rosebud:

WOW, and what a blessing you are still a virgin at the age of 25. This is wonderfull. Your story is very inspiring to me and to all the youth. God bless you in your walk sista. And please to you and all the ladies, feel free to pm me.

God bless. :)
 
Really Supergirl?! 8 1/2 years! As beautiful as you are I am surprised some man has not snatched you up by now. Well I to the vow last October, but it really did not become what it needed to be for me until January, so I have been absitinent for 7 months now and I love it! I really don't have any complaints I am more focused on God and what He is calling me to do. I have not been everything I need to be, but I have abstained from intercourse and the late night dates okay. Just pray for me to hold up as I pray for you guys. I don't really have the urge at all now, but then again I don't have anyone in my life and until he is my hubby and I know he is what God wants for me, then it ain't going down!
 
Shunemite, that is wonderful. Man, I wish my family and friends would have encouraged that more, I would have loved to been a virgin right now at 26, you don't know how much it means until you don't have it. I help teach abstinence classes at my church and I encourage all the youth to wait, God I would do anything to have my virginity back, so I am proud of you and all the virgins on this site and those who are practicing abstinence.
 
Hello my Sisters in Christ!

I am going to be joining this challenge too. So here's a little of my story. I am not a virgin and have a problem letting go of the guilt. I lost my virginity at 17 to a guy who I still love to this day despite the fact that we both have dated other people since then. I've been in lust or love with him since I was 13. I am now 23. I want to remove sexual sins of all kinds from my life. I want to think and see things clearly w/o having these sins in the mix. I would like to marry this man but it always seems like a huge struggle for us to get together.

I think it's because sexual sins have always been a part of our non relationship relationship. We were best friends at one point until he went to college. Anyway he has an ex that he was dating for a year that is supposed to be moving to close to where we live. Things are still unresolved between them. I don't want to get in the way if they are supposed to be together. Which is another good reason for me to abstain.

A good friend of ours saw us hanging out together this weekend and approached me to ask me why weren't together YET. She knows the whole history behind our 'drama'. She's a Christian who is really turning her life around and working earnestly on her relationship with the Lord. During our conversation (and I explained to her about his ex) she kept telling me "I keep getting this feeling that you two are supposed to be together, that God wants you two together." She admonished me to stop sleeping with him and that if I continued to sleep with him I was further complicating the matter and that could be a major factor in it not working out with us. She says she's going to pray for me and wants me to do the same and ask God for clarity and to show me a sign.

Anyway abstaining is going to be a challenge for me, especially when it comes to him. It's twisted, but I don't know when I started to think that performing the deed would help to deepen my relationship with men. I really want to get out of this habit of thinking. Now looking at my relationship or lack there of with the guy I am talking about, sexual acts is a large part of our relationship and it should not be. We should be able to talk and interact more.

I know a large part of being successful in abstaining from sex will lie with me. I need to make sure that I dress in a christ like manner at ALL times. I don't want to tempt him or anyone else for that matter by dressing in a manner that might seem ok to me but that ends up turning men on. After reading through this entire thread I realize that I need to also remove myself from certain situations such as late night dates, maybe even phone conversations, sleeping in the same room as him even if he sleeps on the floor ( I know y'all what was I thinking ). It is also probably a good idea for me to take some time before being completely alone with him (such as being in his house alone).


Anyway I'm sorry this is so long...but I really need your prayers, encouragement, and advice. I really need to get past the guilt, with God's help.
 
Update!!!

-Yesterday my cousin's best friend was supposed to come over to my house to get his hair braided. I have always been attracted to him, but purely on a physical level. Anyway one day a few months ago I slipped up and slept with him one time. Anyway since then he's been hinting to me that we should do it again.

So yesterday was my first obstacle since I started this challenge. He was supposed to come to my house at about 8pm after he finished his b-ball game. Anyway he didn't end up calling me until something to 10. By that time it would be too late for him to be coming over, and I would only be asking for trouble. Anyway during the conversation he kept hinting at the 2 of us having sex. I eventually told him that it wasn't going to happen. He asked if I had my period (ha, why do guys always think that is the only reason we don't want to have sex??!!). Anyway I told him no. He then asked if it was because I got some already. I told him no, and that it was because I simply don't want to have sex anymore, that it wasn't right. He sounded a little hurt (probably his ego) but was very nice about it and said that he won't put me in anymore situations where I might feel weak.

Guess what girls I feel a little bad for disappointing him!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with me??? I shouldn't feel like this! He isn't even my first love that I was talking about in my first post when I joined the challenge!! I'm mad at myself for feeling bad for him, like I let him down. I mean don't get me wrong I'm glad I was able to stand up and tell him, because trust me if you saw him ladies you would see why he's such a temptation (Why did God have to make Black men so irresistable?)!! Anyway I just wish I didn't feel like this. I'm am praying that I can start rejoicing in the fact that I stuck with my conviction.

Anyway I'm really scared now ladies. I am scared of how I'm going to feel when I tell my first love the same thing. I don't want to care how he is going to react, but I can tell I'm going to. I don't think he's going to react badly, but I'm scared of how I'm going to feel if he does.

Have any of you had the same fears, when you decided to follow God's word and abstain?

Please continue to pray for me, I'm praying for you.
 
Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone had a blessed weekend.

So I thought I would update everyone. On Friday evening I decided to call my first love who I've been talking about throughout these posts. Let's call him Dave. Anyway so I called him to see if he wanted to hang out a little and so I could play with his dog (who I love to death). He said sure and hoped that I wanted to hang out with him more than his dog. Anyway so I went to his house and spent time with him and his family for like 2 hours. I wanted to talk to him about my decision to abstain but it just didn't feel like the right time.

Anyway I saw him again on Saturday. Saturday night a bunch of our friends were hanging out together. Anyway during the course of the evening we ended up alone in one area of the house. It felt like the appropriate time to talk. So I prayed to God to give me the words. I believe He did. The conversation went something like this....

"Dave I don't want to have sex anymore"

Dave says, "Ok."

I say, "Do you want to know why?"

He says "Why?"

I say, "Because it's clouding my judgement when it comes to you. I want to know that our friendship isn't based on that. Also I don't want to be in the middle when your ex girlfriend comes back. Most importantly I am trying to live my life in accordance with God and it's not right"

He says, "Well I can understand that. As for my ex she and I aren't on speaking terms right now. I told her that we really need to be apart. Our last conversation ended with her crying. I realize that I don't really love myself. So how can I love anyone else."

Anyway there was more to the conversation than that. He was really discouraged about church and maybe even a little with God. So I tried to encourage him as best I could. Anyway in general the conversation went well. I don't think he's upset at me. He acted the same way with me for the rest of the weekend.

Anyway he really needs encouragement and support. Please pray for him ladies. I have also been asking God to take away my appetite for physical contact with him. I am also praying for God to take away my emotional appetite for Dave if he is not the person who God has planned for me. I also pray for descernment to know when God is actually talking to me.

I am very thankful that God gave me the strength and the words to have this conversation with Dave.

Praise God!!! I'll keep you updated.
 
Hi Ladies,

My church has weekly lessons that we study. This week's study is "Lord of Our Body Temples." I thought I would post it here for encouragement. I will also add it as a seperate thread for others that might not read this one.

LESSON 9*August 20 - 26Lord of Our
Body Temples
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SABBATH AFTERNOON


Read for This Week's Study: John 1:1-4; 1 Cor 6:19, 20; 10:31, Gal. 3:13; Col. 1:16, 17; 1 Pet. 1:18, 19.

Memory Text: "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20, NIV).

Key Thought: Our bodies are not disposable containers we can use and abuse according to our own desires. As trophies of God's grace, redeemed by the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, we should honor God with our bodies. The question is, How do we do that? You are the temple of the living God. When the apostle Paul first mentioned the word temple to the inhabitants of Corinth, they did not think of their own bodies; rather, they thought of the temple of Aphrodite, a place where worshipers engaged in sexual immorality with temple prostitutes. That's probably why in his letters to the Corinthians Paul goes to great lengths to reeducate the new believers concerning the temple where God dwells, which is in the hearts of those who accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. Paul declares, "You are the temple of the living God" (2 Cor. 6:16, NKJV), and "Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" (1 Cor. 6:19, NKJV). Thus, the most compelling reason to care for our bodies is not simply that we might extend our lifespan or enjoy better health now, but because we choose to honor God with our bodies, which are His gifts to us.



*Study this week's lesson to prepare for Sabbath, August 27. SUNDAYAugust 21


All Things Were Made by Him (John 1:1-3).

The New Testament writers boldly proclaim that the Lord Jesus Christ is not only the Messiah, the Son of the Highest, but He is also the Creator of the world. Thousands of years before the Son of God entered into humanity in the person of Jesus of Nazareth, He spoke the world into existence.

What three claims about the Word who became flesh does the apostle John make at the beginning of his Gospel record?
John 1:1, 2 John 1:3 John 1:4

The apostle Paul also emphasizes the supremacy of Jesus Christ, Son of God, as the Creator of all things, and the One from whom we have even our life. Speaking of the Lord Jesus Christ, the image of the invisible God, Paul writes, "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together" (Col. 1:16, 17, NIV).

Compare John 1:1-4 with Colossians 1:16, 17. How do they complement each other? What's the key message of both?



During His earthly ministry, the Lord Jesus Christ never explicitly claimed to be the Creator of all things. However, as we study His life and teachings, we find many evidences that point to His creative power. For example, when Jesus calmed the storm on the sea of Galilee, the astonished disciples exclaimed, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!" (See Mark 4:41, NIV.) With the few texts we read for today as background, read Genesis 2:7, the account of God making humanity. Notice the closeness, the intimacy, of the act, in contrast to how everything else in the Genesis account was made. What does that tell us about the basic meaning of our own personal existence, about who we are, about why we are here? What radically different conclusions can we draw about the meaning of our lives in contrast to those who believe we are products of pure chance, nothing more? (See also Gen. 1:26, 27.)
 
MONDAYAugust 22



Redeemed

In yesterday's study, we saw that the Bible very clearly reveals Jesus Christ as the Creator, the One who created all things, the One who spoke the world into existence, and the One who in a very intimate act breathed "the breath of life" into the first human being. Thus, we are not our own, in that we somehow created ourselves or put ourselves here out of our own volition, and, therefore, have an absolute claim over ourselves. On the contrary. As the objects of His specific act of creation, we belong to God, whose claim over us is greater than our claim over ourselves.

Read the last sentence of the above paragraph, specifically the italicized section. What are the implications of that thought? How should it impact how we live and the kind of decisions we make? When was the last time you made a decision based on the premise of that sentence?





We might belong to God because He is our Creator, but, according to the Bible, that's not His only claim over us.

Read the following texts. What are they saying, and how do they help us understand the Lord's claims over us? Acts 20:28; Gal. 3:13; 4:4, 5; Col. 1:14, Heb. 9:12; 1 Pet. 1:18, 19.





In the Bible, the idea of being redeemed is to be ransomed, to be bought back, to be recovered, to be rescued, or to be set free. Through Jesus our Redeemer, all these things have happened to us, which means His claims over us are even greater than before, for now we are His, by both creation and redemption. And redemption might even be a greater claim, because simply being created doesn't necessarily mean something good. After all, some people might curse their own existence and wish they had never been born. In contrast, as the One who redeemed us in an act that promises us a new existence in a world without sin or suffering, Christ has done something wonderful for us that nothing can diminish or destroy (see Dan. 2:44). Write out a prayer thanking God for what He has done for you as your Creator and Redeemer. How, then, do you want to respond to Him because of what He has done? What obligations do you feel toward God, and what motivates you to fulfill those obligations?

TUESDAYAugust 23



The Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19, 20).

In his first epistle to the Christians in Corinth, the apostle Paul emphasized the importance of honoring God with our bodies. The Corinthian believers were facing some intense challenges. They lived in a city where sexual immorality was not only prevalent, it was encouraged. Satan was marring the image of God in unbelievers and believers alike. Promiscuity was not only plaguing the culture, it was permeating the church.

In Paul's discussion of the damaging effects of sexual immorality, what two reasons does he give for honoring God with our bodies? 1 Cor 6:19, 20.





Summarize in a few lines what you believe Paul is telling us with these two verses. How should these truths impact our lives in a practical, daily way?





As followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, we cannot use and abuse our bodies with careless indifference. Too often, people say, "This is my life, and I can do what I want with it." The Word of God challenges that self-centered philosophy. When Christians engage in harmful activity, they damage themselves personally and dishonor God publicly.

What are some other harmful activities that are inappropriate for those whose bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit? See Deut. 21:20; Prov. 20:1, 25; 1 Cor 10:31.



Honoring God with our bodies involves more than refraining from sexual immorality. Once we recognize that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus, this realization will affect every aspect of our lives. We will not only seek to avoid defiling our body temple with any substance or activity that is harmful or inappropriate. We will also actively seek to care for our body temple and involve ourselves in activities that honor God. "What matters for the Christian is only the spiritual, not the physical." How would you, from a biblical perspective, respond to this claim? How do you understand the strong link between the physical and the spiritual dimensions of humanity?
 
WEDNESDAYAugust 24



Do All to the Glory of God (1 Cor 10:31).

Having appealed to the believers in Corinth to avoid defiling their body temples through sexual immorality, the apostle Paul shares a principle that can guide every aspect of life: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31, NIV). The Greek noun translated "glory" is the same word used as a verb in 1 Corinthians 6:19: "Honor God with your body." The correlation between these two passages is clear. Because your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, everything you do, including what you eat and what you drink, should be done to the honor of God.

How possibly does one "honor God" with one's body, or how does one eat and drink "to the glory of God"? What does that mean? How do these above texts show us that God does care about what we eat and drink? Why would He care?



We are physical beings. In the new heaven and the new earth, we will still be physical beings (see Rev. 21:4, 14). The idea that we are temples serves to prove even more so how sacred, and important, the physical aspect of our being is. No wonder, then, we are admonished to take care of ourselves, to use our bodies in ways that glorify the One who made them. Any kind of physical indulgence, any kind of bodily sin, any kind of abuse of our body simply defiles what God has created and given us.



Also, if God loves and cares about us, then it should be no surprise that He wants us to take care of our bodies, which can be a source of much joy or so much suffering, often depending upon how we ourselves take care of them.

What do the following texts say about God's attitude regarding our physical well-being? Exod. 15:26, Jer 30:17, Mark 5:25-34, 3 John 1:2.



Read these words of Ellen White: "Since the laws of nature are the laws of God, it is plainly our duty to give these laws careful study. We should study their requirements in regard to our own bodies and conform to them.'—Testimonies for the Church, vol.6, p. 369. What is she telling us here? How do these words reflect the principle Paul gave us in 1 Corinthians 10:31?



THURSDAYAugust 25



Shalom!

Many people have heard of the Hebrew word shalom, understood as "peace." It is sometimes used as an informal greeting among Jews today.

What do you think of when you think of the word peace? In what different ways do you use that word in your language? What does it mean to you?





The word shalom itself has a very rich and deep meaning in the Old Testament, where it appears in one form or another hundreds of times. It carries within it the idea of completeness, good welfare, wholeness, soundness, well-being, inner harmony, and health. The word itself incorporates every aspect of life, including the physical, mental, and the spiritual, whether individually, collectively, or nationally.

For example, in one of the earliest uses of the word, Jacob inquires about the well-being (shalom) of Laban (see Gen. 29:6). The word translated "well" both times in the text is shalom. In contrast, in Jeremiah 29:7, Jeremiah tells the Jews in captivity to pray for the shalom "of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away," because, the Lord says, in the shalom of the city will be the shalom of the Hebrew captives.

Look up the following texts where shalom, in one form or another, appears. How does its use help us understand the meaning of the word in regard to our total health and spiritual well-being? Gen. 43:28, Ps. 38:3 (the word translated "rest" in my bones is shalom), 119:165, Prov. 3:2, Isa. 48:22, Jer 33:6.



The Bible calls Jesus, Sar-Shalom, "the prince of peace," which makes sense because, in Him, through faith in Him, through obedience to His law, both moral and physical, we can find "shalom," wholeness, completeness, and well-being in our lives.
As Adventists, we have been greatly blessed with a health message. How seriously do you take the light we have been given on health? What changes might you need to make to have more "shalom" in your own life?
 
FRIDAYAugust 26



Further Study: The message of health reform, honoring God with our bodies, has always been important for Seventh-day Adventist Christians. God provided much guidance on the topic of health reform through the ministry of Ellen White. It is our privilege to share this message of honoring God with our bodies with the world. "It is impossible to work for the salvation of men and women without presenting to them the need of breaking away from sinful gratifications, which destroy the health, debase the soul, and prevent divine truth from impressing the mind.. . . Let the poor have the gospel of health preached unto them from a practical point of view, that they may know how to care properly for the body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit."—Ellen G. White, Testimonies for the Church, vol. 7, p. 137. See also Education, pp. 99, 100; Health Reformer, October 1866; Christ's Object Lessons, pp. 347, 348; Counsels on Diet and Foods, p. 17.

Discussion Questions:
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Since we are saved by God's grace through faith and not by our own works, why does it really matter how we care for our body temples?


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In what ways, if any, can you see a link between holiness and healthful living? Is that idea found anywhere in Scripture?


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As a class, talk about what you might be able to do to help your own church members be more conscious regarding the need to take care of their bodies.
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What dangers do we face in emphasizing the importance of health and its link to faith and spirituality so that we don't make those who are sick feel as if they were somehow facing the judgment of God?
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What role do dress and adornment have in the question of our body temples? What does Scripture say about this topic?
 
Hi I want to join this challenge but I need help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years. He is my 2nd partner ever. We are engaged but I want to stop having sex until we get married. Ive expressed my feelings to him but its kinda hard seeing as we live together.... Weve been living together for about 3 years now. We were supposed to get married already but I post-poned becaues I want to finish school first (another 6 years... Im a sophomore in college) I truly belive he is supposed to be my husband. We were friends for about 2 years before we even became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont think he would leave me if I just told him no, but somehow I feel wrong for telling him no when he wants it and I do too... Please help...
 
beyondcute said:
Hi I want to join this challenge but I need help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years. He is my 2nd partner ever. We are engaged but I want to stop having sex until we get married. Ive expressed my feelings to him but its kinda hard seeing as we live together.... Weve been living together for about 3 years now. We were supposed to get married already but I post-poned becaues I want to finish school first (another 6 years... Im a sophomore in college) I truly belive he is supposed to be my husband. We were friends for about 2 years before we even became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont think he would leave me if I just told him no, but somehow I feel wrong for telling him no when he wants it and I do too... Please help...

Beyond cute,

Yeah, that is a sticky situation and in a way I was in a situation similar to you. I got married in July 05 and I've been dating my husband since I was 16 (so that's 9 years). I was a virgin when I met him and I seriously intended to stay a virgin until I was married. Well, that didn't happen and after 2 years of dating we made love. Now, I will admit that I felt guilty about it (I'm Catholic so I don't know if that explains the guilt :) ) but what I would do is talk to him about it. He kept saying that he understood but that it was hard to stop... Anyways, after we got engaged we agreed that we would not make love until after the wedding. We also lived together for 2 years before he proposed so it was hard to abstain but we did it because he knew that I really wanted to.

What made it work for us was that we were "intimate" in other ways, ex. gently touches, massages, etc. In addition, I think talking about our feelings really helped. He would tell me how he felt frustrated and I would tell him how I felt, but since we made a promise to each other we stuck to it. We decided to abstain partly because we wanted to make our wedding night a little more special.

Now, if this man is truly meant to be your husband than you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. He should not leave you if he loves you. I'm not saying it's easy (ssssh, it took me 7 years to actually commit to it) and I do think it takes a lot of prayer together. Actually, I want to back up because thinking about it, I think that the absence of prayer was one of the reasons why we failed before. Although we used to say we were going to abstain, we didn't really pray on it and ask God to help us stay strong. So we would last for a month or three and that would be it. Considering that you and your fiance have another 6 years to go before you finish school, then I would say that it's going to be extremely hard to stop unless you two are at the same level in this journey (especially since ya'll already started). You need to tell him your feelings, why you want to abstain now and what you hope to get. Then you need to hear his thoughts. Maybe you two can reach a compromise and eventually go all the way.....I'm not gonna front 6 years is a long time to wait so there needs to be a lot of communication and exploration of other ways to be intimate without sex if you want this to work....

Just my humble opinion,
Rai
 
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I will give this another try. We've abstained for long periods of time, up to 6 months until I asked him. I get sooo weak sometimes. Im not even sure why I want to wait until after ai finish school. Its just not logical to me.. I guess I think maraige = kids and I know I dont want any, any time soon. But it doesnt necessarily have to happen that way. I think that we can be abstinate. We have before. I understand his feeligns and he understands mines. I think we are on the same level. hats what really makes me love him even more. He respects my thoughts and wishes and he is a gentleman but best of all he is a Christian man. Im gonna take this one day at a time and I know I may stumble but Im gonna put my mind to this. I refuse to let Satan stop me short of my glory! Thanx Rai! You really did help. It really helps to hear from another christian thats been thru the saem thing. It makes it more realistic that I can do it.
Be Blessed!
Dee
 
beyondcute said:
Hi I want to join this challenge but I need help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years. He is my 2nd partner ever. We are engaged but I want to stop having sex until we get married. Ive expressed my feelings to him but its kinda hard seeing as we live together.... Weve been living together for about 3 years now. We were supposed to get married already but I post-poned becaues I want to finish school first (another 6 years... Im a sophomore in college) I truly belive he is supposed to be my husband. We were friends for about 2 years before we even became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont think he would leave me if I just told him no, but somehow I feel wrong for telling him no when he wants it and I do too... Please help...

Hi Beyondcute!!!

First I would like to say congratulations on finding the man that you believe God has prepared you for and him for you! Not everyone is as fortunate as you are, so you are blessed.

Now I hope you don't feel like smacking me for telling you this but, I feel we are all friends here so I'll just say it.

I think you have 2 choices go ahead and get married if this is the man for you even if you are not done with school, if the relationship is more important than school. You can get yourself on birth control and enjoy the freedom of not having kids with your new husband.

Or (here goes)

Stop living together. I know if it were me personally I would find it VERY hard to live with my fiance and not have sex or do other intimate things that should be left within the bounds of marriage. The bible does say to "Shun even the appearance of evil." If you have to live together, sleep in separate rooms, dress privately, ect. These things will help to alleviate the temptation a little. Now I am NO saint, believe me, check out my other posts on when I joined this challenge (very recently), but when I read your posts I really felt impressed to tell you these 2 things.

Pray to God and ask him for direction on what you should do. Don't be afraid of losing the relationship, if he is meant to be your spouse he's not going to go anywhere. Follow God's design for your life and you won't regret it.

I pray that God may bless your relationship and guide you in your decisions.
 
RabiaElaine said:
I think you have 2 choices go ahead and get married if this is the man for you even if you are not done with school, if the relationship is more important than school. You can get yourself on birth control and enjoy the freedom of not having kids with your new husband.

Or (here goes)

Stop living together. I know if it were me personally I would find it VERY hard to live with my fiance and not have sex or do other intimate things that should be left within the bounds of marriage. The bible does say to "Shun even the appearance of evil." If you have to live together, sleep in separate rooms, dress privately, ect. These things will help to alleviate the temptation a little. Now I am NO saint, believe me, check out my other posts on when I joined this challenge (very recently), but when I read your posts I really felt impressed to tell you these 2 things.


I pray that God may bless your relationship and guide you in your decisions.

Great advice
 
No! I dont fele the need to smack you :) Thank you! I dont have a problem accepting advice. I was here asking for it. I talked ot him and he is willign ot give it a shot. We already have a 3 bedroom house and I have a rom and so does he and there is a guest room. We usually slepe in my room butNow he will sleep in the guest room. Im trying for a year but he says I shoudl think about it as a 1 day at a time thing. I think he's right. We are also going to go to church with each other every Sunday. Sometimes I go ot a different service and sometimes hes at work so he doesnt go at all but he has a new schedule and I think its good for us to go to church togeher. I do thank you all for your advice. Im on my way.
 
Oh yeah Im gonna proceed with the marriage. Im not setting a date yet but its re-official. I dont know why I didnt want to get married before finishing school. I guess just the thought of havign kids befoer finishing but marraige does not necessarily = kids. DUH! So It official. Im on the challenge!
 
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I am going to join the challenge. Actually I have a testimony. I was talking to God, asking Him for strength to say no to fornication and helping me be patient for him to send me my husband. Now I know abstinenece is my weakness. As I was praying, it was if I heard a whisper tell me to surrender all things unclean for me to get my blessing. I did a clean sweep in my house and got rid of adultry items I had. I threw them in the garbage outside my house. I came back in and continued praying. I started to cry and said to the Lord that I surrender my mind body and spirit to him even though I felt unworthy of his forgiveness. I asked him for a sign that he heard me. At this point I had my bible closed. I when I opened it, I read the scripture that the Bible opened to. Actually, I opned the bible and I was sitting near the air conditioner and the page turned. It went to John 8. As I read that entire chapter about the woman caught in adultery and people wanted to stone her. And Jesus responed, John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin amoung you be the first to throw at stone at her.......Jesus looked up to her and said to her, " Woman where are they? No one had condemned you? She said, "No one, Lord" And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you, go, and do not sin again."

I'm sorry. But after that I'm done. I know that Lord has heard my prayer and I will wait patiently in faith so that I can testify and shout the marveous works the Lord has done for me. Thank you God for hearing my prayer.
 
saddity1 said:
I am going to join the challenge. Actually I have a testimony. I was talking to God, asking Him for strength to say no to fornication and helping me be patient for him to send me my husband. Now I know abstinenece is my weakness. As I was praying, it was if I heard a whisper tell me to surrender all things unclean for me to get my blessing. I did a clean sweep in my house and got rid of adultry items I had. I threw them in the garbage outside my house. I came back in and continued praying. I started to cry and said to the Lord that I surrender my mind body and spirit to him even though I felt unworthy of his forgiveness. I asked him for a sign that he heard me. At this point I had my bible closed. I when I opened it, I read the scripture that the Bible opened to. Actually, I opned the bible and I was sitting near the air conditioner and the page turned. It went to John 8. As I read that entire chapter about the woman caught in adultery and people wanted to stone her. And Jesus responed, John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin amoung you be the first to throw at stone at her.......Jesus looked up to her and said to her, " Woman where are they? No one had condemned you? She said, "No one, Lord" And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you, go, and do not sin again."

I'm sorry. But after that I'm done. I know that Lord has heard my prayer and I will wait patiently in faith so that I can testify and shout the marveous works the Lord has done for me. Thank you God for hearing my prayer.

What a good testimony, and welcome to our challenge. I also struggle with keeping my mind pure.
 
Hi Ladies. I'm new to this board and just wanted to say hi. I stumbled across this topic and I have to say that it's very interesting. I am a Christian and believe in God with my whole heart. I've abstained from having sex for almost a year and don't plan to have sex until I find my soulmate. (Trust me I'm really picky, so I'm going to be waitng a while.) Anyway, I noticed that alot of women with boyfriends or potenital boyfriends have all commented on removing themselves from certain activities, such as kissing. I undertsand why you guys have decided to do this, however, I would like to note that it is possible to be intimate without being intimate. It's possible to show affection without having sex. In my view I feel as though it should be practiced before marriage so that there's not a misunderstanding later.

I do want to commend all of you who have decided to take this challenge and wish the best of luck. For those of you who haven't, christian or not, I recommend the challenge to you also,even if it's not for religious purposes. I am doing it now and I couldn't even begin to tell you how my life has changed. :D

Good luck to you all and God Bless.
 
I have been on this challenge since April. It has been easy. EXCEPT, I am beginning to date again and this is where the challenge will come. I am seeing someone today that I am really attracted to. I hope to stay strong, pray for me.
 
Okay, I fell off a couple of weeks ago, but I'm now back on this. No man in my life so I have to stay focused on this.
 
Count me in,although I'm a little late.

I'll be abstinent one year come January and it will be the longest time I have ever gone without sex since I became sexually active. Am I proud of this? no....Am I ashamed of it?....no.....because it was through the many years of sinning against my body that I came to where I am now. God knows and judges my heart and my sexual sins along with other sins have been forgotten by God. This is my new beginning.

During my time of sexual sin,I remember I would meet someone,swear I was falling in love,and within a month of knowing eachother we were having sex. I would feel gratified during sex but then afterwards I would feel this intense pressure about the fact that I just opened the door to sex with this man and now it will be something that is expected from me as though I am this mans wife. But I'm not his wife!! I found myself having sex,enjoying it,but also feeling obligated to do it since I started it. But now I am tired of feeling obligated to perform wifely duties when I am not a wife.

Besides it is my belief that when I meet a man and sex is introduced into the relationship before marriage,it changes a mans focus in the relationship. He gets more comfortable and settled into just being a boyfriend and a lover ,but I believe when you abstain from sex and you're dating someone,it tends to make that man focus on you more as a possible spouse. He has no choice but to look at the real woman and decide if this is someone he can commit to because sex is not there to confuse things or make the man comfortable causing him to not move forward in the relationship because he's already getting the "benefits". Dont get me wrong....I know people who have had premarital sex do still get married,ofcourse!!!! but I feel in my own experience that sex before marriage changes the path intended by God for my relationship.


TeeTee
 
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Tee Tee2 said:
Count me in,although I'm a little late.

I'll be abstinent one year come January and it will be the longest time I have ever gone without sex since I became sexually active. Am I proud of this? no....Am I ashamed of it?....no.....because it was through the many years of sinning against my body that I came to where I am now. God knows and judges my heart and my sexual sins along with other sins have been forgotten by God. This is my new beginning.

During my time of sexual sin,I remember I would meet someone,swear I was falling in love,and within a month of knowing eachother we were having sex. I would feel gratified during sex but then afterwards I would feel this intense pressure about the fact that I just opened the door to sex with this man and now it will be something that is expected from me as though I am this mans wife. But I'm not his wife!! I found myself having sex,enjoying it,but also feeling obligated to do it since I started it. But now I am tired of feeling obligated to perform wifely duties when I am not a wife.

Besides it is my belief that when I meet a man and sex is introduced into the relationship before marriage,it changes a mans focus in the relationship. He gets more comfortable and settled into just being a boyfriend and a lover ,but I believe when you abstain from sex and you're dating someone,it tends to make that man focus on you more as a possible spouse. He has no choice but to look at the real woman and decide if this is someone he can commit to because sex is not there to confuse things or make the man comfortable causing him to not move forward in the relationship because he's already getting the "benefits". Dont get me wrong....I know people who have had premarital sex do still get married,ofcourse!!!! but I feel in my own experience that sex before marriage changes the path intended by God for my relationship.


TeeTee

Thanks for a good testimony about how bad you can feel afterwards because that is so true. I also think it can be harder to abstain when you have already "been there" so kudos for your courage. Welcome! :D
 
bajanplums1 said:
I have been on this challenge since April. It has been easy. EXCEPT, I am beginning to date again and this is where the challenge will come. I am seeing someone today that I am really attracted to. I hope to stay strong, pray for me.

I said a prayer for you. I'm not dating anyone right now so it's real easy for me.
 
19sweetie said:
Okay, I fell off a couple of weeks ago, but I'm now back on this. No man in my life so I have to stay focused on this.

We fall down, and we get up. Girl, dust yourself off and try again! :)
 
shunemite said:
Thanks for a good testimony about how bad you can feel afterwards because that is so true. I also think it can be harder to abstain when you have already "been there" so kudos for your courage. Welcome! :D


Thank you Shunemite. Just speaking from my own experience. I am learning so much from all the ladies here and appreciate this thread very much.



TeeTee2
 
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