Relaxed hair ladies frowned upon?

[southerncitygirl]

Ummm yeah, ok.


I went natural before all these forum, yt gurus and hair blogs. I endured ppl of all races treating me like ish and caring for my transtioning and natural hair was a guessing game. I hated my hair and just rode it out cause I meant that I would never relax again and maybe there was some delayed gratification involved.

Ppl threw shade when I was relaxed and they throw now that I'm natural especially when I flat-iron and my hair isn't as short as they thought. Relaxed ppl at my job will ask me 50-11 times did I relax and look perplexed when I say not its flat-ironed and these wenches see my hair straight about every 3 months.

New naturals maybe displaying this behavior, but ppl who were natural or transtioning prior to the social media explosion don't have any phucks to give I have friends that are relaxed and natural and all of them have lovely heads of hair

 

[manter26]

Assumptions are made by both sides...

There will always be relaxed ladies just as there will always be natural haired ladies.

 

[greenandchic]

Without having read the other responses yet, my guess is that people who look down upon relaxed heads are recent naturals and feel everyone should jump on the "bandwagon". Personally, I couldn't care less what others do to their hair which is one reason why I stopped posting on certain natural hair forums. Even being a lifelong natural, the Nazism was too much for me.

It goes both ways. Back in the day when relaxers were getting popular, people gave ME shade for not relaxing - I guess the tables are turned, LOL (kidding!).

 

[yuhlovevybz]

Me and my sis are natural. My oldest is preggo so she's stretching for at least a year but considering going natural. My mommy is relaxed and I still lurve her. She has the longest hair of all of us.

 

[geejay]

Sorry that relaxed ladies are having such a hard time. I've heard about the demonstrations outside the salons and the naturals storming the beauty supplies confiscating all the relaxers and flat irons. Stay strong for freedom, ladies, and know, that under my government-approved afro, I'm secretly rooting for you

Seriously, tho, who cares. Do you.

 

[9MillaNina]

Lol yea I remember when we teased lil kids in school for having nappy hair before we knew the history of it all. I'm guessing those people who judge or kids mentally or, giving the same treatment that was once gave to them, hypocrisy ... Either way no worries luv, you're beautiful and let no one make you feel inferior .

 

[mayoo]

I know the natural hair thing is hot right now and I feel like it is a thing that a lot of people are doing now because its kind of "in".

I don't really see how it can be 'in' to wear your hair how it grows out of your scalp???
I'm not one of those natural hair nazis but I still don't really underestand that statement.
It's like saying that it's 'in' for an asian lady to have black hair.

But on the other hand,

I do understand what you mean about being looked down on though; i know that a lot of natural haired ladies feel that relaxed ladies are all 'self-haters' which is simply not true.

 

[mayoo]

Lol yea I remember when we teased lil kids in school for having nappy hair before we knew the history of it all. I'm guessing those people who judge or kids mentally or, giving the same treatment that was once gave to them, hypocrisy ... Either way no worries luv, you're beautiful and let no one make you feel inferior .

+100

 

[wavezncurlz]

The only naturals I see looking down on those who relax are the ones who just decided to go natural like yesterday LOL. The old natural heads could care less what you do, SOME of the new naturals are all like, "It's so much cheaper and easier to just deal with the hair God blessed me with and I'm black and I'm proud!" I'm like really girl, I'm the one who taught you how to deal with your natural hair so I know EXACTLY how much time and money you spend on that hair you cried over every day. I'm relaxed, but I love natural hair and like to admire it from a distance, I'm still debating if it's something I want to do. To each its own. I could care less about what people think about me and my relaxed hair or my generic braid outs!

Speak! I've been in this natural game too long to care about anyone else's hair but mine. I would love it if everyone had healthy hair though - regardless of it's state.

To tell the truth, I can't tell who is natural these days anyway - weaves come in all textures and people flat iron natural hair.

 

[FelaShrine]

I have had people say to me..."oh you're STILL relaxing" and then look at me as if I have two heads.
Is it just me?

Ive had acquaintances go on that if I wasnt relaxed I wouldnt care so much about finding an umbrella when it rains

and they wonder why they stay at acquaintance level

 

[FelaShrine]

For real .. and I'm just now seeing the convenience and love for weaves. I'm enjoying this little break I'm giving my hair. It's even easier to detangle when I wash it.. Just glide the comb right on through it .

since this baord barely talks of weaves anymore..any ideasn on fullheaded weaves? best place in NY too?

 

[veesweets]

Sorry that relaxed ladies are having such a hard time. I've heard about the demonstrations outside the salons and the naturals storming the beauty supplies confiscating all the relaxers and flat irons. Stay strong for freedom, ladies, and know, that under my government-approved afro, I'm secretly rooting for you

Seriously, tho, who cares. Do you.

Say what?! This is my first time hearing of this. That's absolutely crazy, it's not that serious

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Come to the south. Most of the AA women here are still relaxed.

 

[deedoswell]

Say what?! This is my first time hearing of this. That's absolutely crazy, it's not that serious

I totally agree. It's not that serious! I am only 4 years natural after being 30 years relaxer and there are many times I think about relaxing. It is a personal choice. I've seen many healthy relaxed heads (including my sisters) and I would never try to persuade them to change. Never!

 

[*CherryPie*]

Honey Bee

That's not always true. It only takes me less than an hour, wash to finish...and that includes conditioning under the dryer...and before you say anything, I'm 4b in the front and sides, and 4a on the top and back. MY hair don't get tangles or knots, so I don't struggle with my hair at all.

All natural hair is not the same. You can't bunch all natural hair into one group.

With all the "I'm about to texlax" threads I see around here?

I 'still' relax cuz I want to. Three hour detangling sessions, twists for weeks on end to keep hair stretched, preparing for two days in order to flat-iron? Aint nobody got time for that.

 

[manter26]

Say what?! This is my first time hearing of this. That's absolutely crazy, it's not that serious

I totally agree. It's not that serious! I am only 4 years natural after being 30 years relaxer and there are many times I think about relaxing. It is a personal choice. I've seen many healthy relaxed heads (including my sisters) and I would never try to persuade them to change. Never!

It was a joke.

 

[Guinan]

Sorry that relaxed ladies are having such a hard time. I've heard about the demonstrations outside the salons and the naturals storming the beauty supplies confiscating all the relaxers and flat irons. Stay strong for freedom, ladies, and know, that under my government-approved afro, I'm secretly rooting for you

Seriously, tho, who cares. Do you.

WOW! That's crayzie. Can't we all just get-a-long

 

[*CherryPie*]

There's some naturals that look down on the relaxer, just like there's some relaxed ladies that looks down on natural (nappy) hair. That's not going to change so we all need to just get over it.

I have natural hair. I have one daughter with thick natural BSL+ hair. She has gorgeous hair. She's a member here. I also a daughter that has thick almost booty length relaxed hair. She has gorgeous hair too. You think anyone is looking down on any one of their heads?!? I don't think so.

The thing is, as long as your hair is healthy and looking great, you don't have to worry about what anyone thinks.

 

[sylver2]

i dont care what anyone feels about my relaxed hair. what can they say? i hate myself ? its long, its thick,its healthy. im good.
They never have anything to say to me anyway..not to my face..lol most of time people think im natural.

 

[Honey Bee]

That's not always true. It only takes me less than an hour, wash to finish...and that includes conditioning under the dryer...and before you say anything, I'm 4b in the front and sides, and 4a on the top and back. MY hair don't get tangles or knots, so I don't struggle with my hair at all.

All natural hair is not the same. You can't bunch all natural hair into one group.

*CherryPie*, Then you're a unicorn, girl. You should be giving lectures.

I wasn't bunching all natural hair in one group. I'm speaking to *my* hair, which I know very well because I was natural in hs and college.

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

For me its the exact opposite. I am the only relaxed (Texlaxed) head at my job and my coworkers treat my hair like a modern day miracle. One has even told me she thinks I'm lying about being relaxed because my hair is "to thick". A lot of them tend to just reminisce about they're relaxer days with me and ask me a thousand and one questions about my regimen. Other then that, I received nothing but positivity about my hair. I think a lot of the Natural VS. Relaxed stuff goes down online;aside from that I rarely encounter it.

 

[hair4romheaven]

No, I'm natural & I see more natural heads I frown upon. Some look like taco meat, some look like kids with cornrowed braided designs, some just look dry and thirsty I can go on but will stop there.

 

[belldandy]

I don't care what any one does with their own hair, although I think its kind of cool to see so much natural hair.

 

[*CherryPie*]

@Honey Bee You're funny girl!

I understand. But although I know that the ease of my hair is not the norm, I wanted folks to know that we are out here and that natural hair is not a struggle for eveeryone.

@*CherryPie*, Then you're a unicorn, girl. You should be giving lectures.

I wasn't bunching all natural hair in one group. I'm speaking to *my* hair, which I know very well because I was natural in hs and college.

 

[KaramelDiva1978]

honeybee,
I feel the same way, in my area, just as many that are BC'ing one month are texlaxing or completely relaxing w/in the next 6 months. My salon is still full of relaxed heads and the naturals that are trying straightening systems to get the same look paying double the price. I don't see or hear about any "shade" on those who relax, its just that the last 2-3 years have put the spotlight on being natural and that's the new wave right now. I'm happy where I am with my hair and I hope others are too instead of following a hair "trend". I loved being natural and I love my relaxed hair now.

 

[KittyMeowMeow]

I think "natural nazis" and "relaxed nazis" aren't happy with their hair and are somehow jealous of "the other side". Those who are happy with what they have enjoy what they have rather than obsessing over other people's choices. Those who aren't try to make sure those who are doing what they feel they "can't" feel bad about themselves.

 

[Ogoma]

I never thought I would see this day. I cannot complain .

OP, I don't think you should be concerned about anyone's thoughts about your hair, but yours. I love my natural hair and do not find it to be a chore or a problem. Hair should be fun, enjoy it.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

*CherryPie*, Then you're a unicorn, girl. You should be giving lectures.

I wasn't bunching all natural hair in one group. I'm speaking to *my* hair, which I know very well because I was natural in hs and college.

Yaaaay I guess I've made unicorn status too the only time it takes me more than 45 minutes to do my hair is when I try to make it look like the opposite of what it is (ie flat iron).

OP do whatever you like with your hair, because those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter.

 

[APrayer4Hair]

Just wanted to add that all new naturals aren't crazy. I bced 7 months ago to try something new. If I feel it doesn't work FOR ME then I'll relax again. it's as simple as that. I guess I'm fortunate not to have encountered these "nazis" but if I did I still wouldn't give a _______.

 

[SimplyLive]

Why do so many relaxed heads secretly wish going natural is just a passing fad?