Women who desire to get married

[Iammoney]

women who desire to get married
Posted Today at 10:23 PM by mitcy
I got this from a group i belong to on facebook





This is the word God gave me for singles that I sent to my sorors:

Stop feeling sorry about not having a man in your life right now. Didn’t I promise you a mate? God said what I am tired of is you choosing these men that I have not placed into your life and then blaming me when it doesn’t work out. I have set aside your prince but it seems to me that you are not ready for him. I am waiting on you and so is he. I will say to you again not to be unequally yoked for I have had your prince prepare himself for you. Are you prepared for your prince? Because I am king of kings and have prepared a prince for you. Have you practice being a godly wife? Have you put aside your single independence and will let him come in and be the head of the house as I have just so placed him? Have you learned to stop complaining? Have you learned to manage your money and stop spending it on shopping sprees and going out all the time? Have you been taking those cooking lesions? Have you been cleaning your house so that when you come home you can relax? Your prince should feel like a king when he enters into his (your) palace. I would suggest TD Jakes new book “before you DO”. Stop being so wrapped up in appearances. I sent this man to you more than once and you looked the other way bc you thought he wasn’t attractive enough. Don’t you know that I have given him life so that he can spend the rest of his earthly life with you and you are wasting time? You are looking for that fancy and easy stuff. What are you afraid of, what your friends might think? Should u care what they think or what I think and if you want the abundance of things in a mate you will look at him and see the fullness thereof.

So as Holidah said, "God is the Ultimate match maker".

 

[Shimmie]

OUCH! :blush3:

Father God, please forgive me for the 'clutter in my 'spriit, and in my home; I allow yoiu to lead me and guide me in clearing out all that does not pertain to Godliness, so that I can be peaceful and relaxed in all; but most of all peaceful in you and in my husband.

Father God, I allow you to 'prepare him room' in our home and in my heart, for he has lived in yours forever.

In Jesus's name, Amen and Amen. :heart2:

"For the two shall become one and it cannot become undone...The dividing walls of alienation have been torn down and we have been brought nigh unto one another by the Blood of Jesus, our Lord, our Saviour, our Lamb of God, our Chief Cornerstone, we are 'One' in Him, forever." In Jesus's name, Amen and Amen.

--------------

Mitcy.

 

[rayness]

I love it. Hey what does God have to say about a cleaning service? Just joking (partially). I dislike cleaning. I know how but I just don't like too. When I lived by myself my kitchen, living, dining, bathroom would be clean but the bedroom is a different story. Still working on that.

I always said to people that I want to get myself together before God sends my mate. Like I need to start working out again. I am getting a lot better with money and actually have started to really save. I can already cook. I can't expect God to send his very best to me and I am not at my very best. I can't expect Him to send me a man who has all of the qualities that I desire and I am slacking in many areas. Again thanks for posting that.

 

[aribell]

.....

But the Lord is certainly faithful in giving us the ability to overcome all of our faults! Thankfully!

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

You and I are >>>>>here<<<<<<! I don't know what it is about my bedroom but I can keep all other areas of the house emaculate except for my room? I have been like this since a child!! I am really trying to do better in that area.

I am in total agreement about not being at my best. We are all work in progress Rayness! With the Lords help there is nothing that we cannot overcome or achieve!

I love it. Hey what does God have to say about a cleaning service? Just joking (partially). I dislike cleaning. I know how but I just don't like too. When I lived by myself my kitchen, living, dining, bathroom would be clean but the bedroom is a different story. Still working on that.

I always said to people that I want to get myself together before God sends my mate. Like I need to start working out again. I am getting a lot better with money and actually have started to really save. I can already cook. I can't expect God to send his very best to me and I am not at my very best. I can't expect Him to send me a man who has all of the qualities that I desire and I am slacking in many areas. Again thanks for posting that.

 

[Bunny77]

Mitcy, thanks for your posts. You definitely put up some thought-provoking pieces on the topic of marriage!

Anyway, I'm gonna have to dissent somewhat on this person's message. Now I do agree that we singles might have missed a good man because we were with the wrong one or focused on the wrong one, but I also think that this is more of the same misinformation that is delivered to single black women and given a religious/Christian slant instead of getting to the real issues as to why many of us remain single.

I know that we all aspire to be that Proverbs 31 woman. I know that I need to work on some debts, house cleaning, cooking, etc. But no person is going to come into a marriage as a perfect husband or wife. Part of marriage involves a couple growing together. Many flawed women who can't cook, have debts and messy homes marry every day, and they marry wonderful Godly men who love them and their beautiful spirits.

I read a book by a married Christian woman who admitted that she was bad with money management, but with the help of her husband, she learned to break the chains. In turn, because of her role as his helpmeet, he became more responsible as well in areas where he was lacking.

This idea that we must reach this level of "readiness" before God "sends" us a mate can be very damaging and it does nothing to explain why millions of women who don't cavort with the wrong men, who can cook their butts off and are beautiful Godly women inside and out remain single. And again, this type of message is also not sent to men to the same degree as women... if you read this, it says so much about what single women might be lacking, but acts as if there are these perfect male specimens out there that we aren't "qualified" yet to have.

Instead of being asked, "Are you ready for him?" how about, "Is he ready for YOU?" Or better yet, "Are you ready for each other?"

But this idea of readiness has never been how marriage has worked. Not too long ago, young people married while attending school or working menial jobs. They were poor and probably had debt, but as a partnership, they often did a better job getting OUT of debt as a unit than a single person could alone.

Also, these messages of what I consider impossible readiness are not sent to white women, Asian women and Hispanic women. I think sometimes these messages can do more to make black women feel worse than better, as if she has to constantly "work on herself," and become this super human before she's "worthy" of having a husband.

The real problem is that our community doesn't esteem marriage. Until we start using our churches and our Christian calling to reaffirm marriage as the central family unit in the black community, these pseudo-religious messages to single black women about "working on oneself" as a requirement for marriage won't change much.

Sure, let's all work on ourselves and prepare ourselves to become good wives and mothers. But let's not be made to feel that those of us who are single are that way because something is lacking in us.

 

[aribell]

Bunny, do you read Boundless?

 

[Bunny77]

Bunny, do you read Boundless?

Yes! I love Boundless!

And actually, I was referring to Candice Watters in my post... she owned up to being really bad with her spending and CC debt in her book... and while she mentioned that she realized she had to work on that because a wife should be a good steward of a family's finances, her debt didn't prevent her from ending up with a good husband.

Just wanted to add as well that my mother said that she was NOT a good cook when she got married. But she became one because she suddenly had a husband and children to cook for... if she had stayed single for a long time, she probably wouldn't have felt the need to become a better cook.

So getting married encouraged her to be a better homemaker, not the other way around.

Sorry, gotta add one more thing... the more I read this, the more it comes off like it was written by a bitter man who's using all of the awful stereotypes about single black women to make his point... it doesn't sound all that "Godly" (save for the first few sentences).

 

[aribell]

Yes! I love Boundless!

And actually, I was referring to Candice Watters in my post... she owned up to being really bad with her spending and CC debt in her book... and while she mentioned that she realized she had to work on that because a wife should be a good steward of a family's finances, her debt didn't prevent her from ending up with a good husband.

I thought I recognized it. I've read Boundless for like the past 8 years and it's been so helpful.

 

[kayte]

This is the word God gave me for singles that I sent to my sorors:

I don't think God "said" this via proxy or angel or anything else
be mindful of those who use the name of God ....in vain
or vanity...this is incredibly misygonistic..
I probably misspelled that word but it still means a man who does not like women
little wonder.."he" is single... or if he is not (Kayte shudders)
he's going to need to do a lot more than post in a facebook blog..lol

on your knees... my brother

I'm not enamored of the clearly biased hyper-critical
.....idiomatic folksy tone
that's supposed to engage my cultural alliance to the writer..
thank God..black women are not sheep

...except with Christ



sorry
I cldn't resist

This is the word I was given after reading his:


Stop feeling sorry about not having a woman in your life right now. Didn’t I promise you a mate? God said what I am tired of is you choosing these women that I have not placed into your life and then blaming me when it doesn’t work out. I have set aside your QUEEN but it seems to me that you are not ready for her! I am waiting on you and so is she. I will say to you again not to be unequally yoked for I have had your Queen prepare herself for you. Are you prepared for your QUEEN? Because I am king of kings and have prepared a QUEEN for you. Have you practiced being a godly husband? Have you put aside your single independence..aka philandering...and double standards ..cheating and lying and have accepted her ....honestly ..humbly... to let come in to your heart and hearth as I have just so placed her? Have you learned to stop complaining or blaming ..her? Have you learned to manage your money and stop spending it on yourself and going out all the time? Have you been taking those cooking lessions to show her ..that you love her and want to her to know that serving her means serving ME and that you are ready and willing to help her out..even if it's in the kitchen?

Have you been cleaning your house spiritually and physically so that when you come home you can meditate in gratitude and with complete fidelity for the good woman God has blessed you with? Your Queen should feel like she's treasured and a sense of peace and security and harmony and deep love when she enters into your/her palace. I would suggest.....reading
the bible together and you .....read Proverbs

11 At the end of your life you will groan,
when your flesh and body are spent.
12 You will say, "How I hated discipline!
How my heart spurned correction!

13 I would not obey my teachers
or listen to my instructors.
14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin
in the midst of the whole assembly."

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?

17 Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
21 For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD,
and he examines all his paths.
22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him;
the cords of his sin hold him fast.
23 He will die for lack of discipline,
led astray by his own great folly.



“before you DO”.

Stop being so wrapped up in your ego and your vanity.Where is your humilty? Where is your gratitude? I sent this woman to you more than once and you looked the other way bc you thought she wasn’t attractive enough. Don’t you know that I have given her life so that she can spend the rest of her earthly life with you and you are wasting time? You are looking for that fancy and easy stuff. What are you afraid of, what your friends might think? Should you care what they think or what I think and if you want the abundance of things in a mate you will look at her...you will respect her ..you will value her..you will commit to her you will cherish her as your own body as Christ loved the Church ..so you will show your devotion to her
you will give her honor...
and rightfully see the fullness and beauty thereof.

 

[Iammoney]

////////////////

 

[gn1g]

too many martha's in here.

"Seek ye the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."

 

[btrflyrose]

Just wanted to add as well that my mother said that she was NOT a good cook when she got married. But she became one because she suddenly had a husband and children to cook for... if she had stayed single for a long time, she probably wouldn't have felt the need to become a better cook.

Well my mother STILL isn't a good cook. Never has been. I have stories of underdone cakes, soapy eggs, baked beans that taste like candied yams and velveta tex mex macaroni and cheese (on the stove) where the green peppers were mistaken for mold!!

Thank GOD for my father or I think I would've starved!

But regardless, my parents have been married going on 31 wonderful years. My mom can't cook and doesn't like too, my father can't clean and doesn't like too, but hey, it works.

 

[Shimmie]

I love it. Hey what does God have to say about a cleaning service? Just joking (partially). I dislike cleaning. I know how but I just don't like too. When I lived by myself my kitchen, living, dining, bathroom would be clean but the bedroom is a different story. Still working on that.

I always said to people that I want to get myself together before God sends my mate. Like I need to start working out again. I am getting a lot better with money and actually have started to really save. I can already cook. I can't expect God to send his very best to me and I am not at my very best. I can't expect Him to send me a man who has all of the qualities that I desire and I am slacking in many areas. Again thanks for posting that.

You and I are >>>>>here<<<<<<! I don't know what it is about my bedroom but I can keep all other areas of the house emaculate except for my room? I have been like this since a child!! I am really trying to do better in that area.

I am in total agreement about not being at my best. We are all work in progress Rayness! With the Lords help there is nothing that we cannot overcome or achieve!

Hey! I need a Nannie and a Maid....

The Secret to my clean bedroom is that........................

I don't put anything in it except me.

Angels, I've got news, after you're married your husband is going to have the bedroom even messier. And don't add the children.

Why do children love to crawl into bed with us? Kicking me out onto the floor.

 

[Bunny77]

Well my mother STILL isn't a good cook. Never has been. I have stories of underdone cakes, soapy eggs, baked beans that taste like candied yams and velveta tex mex macaroni and cheese (on the stove) where the green peppers were mistaken for mold!!

Thank GOD for my father or I think I would've starved!

But regardless, my parents have been married going on 31 wonderful years. My mom can't cook and doesn't like too, my father can't clean and doesn't like too, but hey, it works.

I shouldn't laugh, but the way you describe the food is hilarious! Yes, thank God for your father!

I know another couple in which the wife couldn't cook a lick, and neither could the husband. But, they were rich and just ate out all the time. Sounds good to me!

Seriously though, your example and the one of my friends' parents (the rich folks) simply tell me that this cooking mandate that some so-called "godly" folks are using to berate women (usually black women) and use it as one of the reasons for their singleness is very false doctrine. It also shows that many of these people don't know what elements truly are important to a Godly marriage. I'm not saying that cooking isn't, but much comes down to how the husband and wife agree to the delegation of duties in the home. Plenty of black women who can throw down in the kitchen are single and have been for most of their lives... just look at the pews in your church...

Hey! I need a Nannie and a Maid....

The Secret to my clean bedroom is that........................

I don't put anything in it except me.

Angels, I've got news, after you're married your husband is going to have the bedroom even messier. And don't add the children.

Why do children love to crawl into bed with us? Kicking me out onto the floor.

EXACTLY! Do people think that your home is going to stay clean when you're married and have kids??? The type of place you keep when you're single might be the cleanest place you'll ever have!

 

[btrflyrose]

Well, the virtuous woman had maidservants. And Lord knows, that when I get married I'm gonna need some 'maidservants' to do all the things that I just don't like to do...you know...putting dishes in the dishwasher, taking dishes out of the dishwasher, putting the dishes back in the cabinets, washing clothes, folding clothes, making up the bed, vacuuming the mattress, cleaning the toilets....

I can cook though!!! I'm a really, really, good cook.

 

[cocoberry10]

Mitcy, this is a great word. I know that I will get married. I'm still in my 20's, so I have "time," and I've come to enjoy that time.

Singleness truly is a gift, and now I realize that. There are sooooooooooooo many things you can do as a single that you can't do as easily married (or in some cases at all).

I have learned to appreciate where I am NOW, not that there aren't other places I want to go, but to appreciate NOW. For tomorrow isn't promised to us!

I also think that when you are happy inside, you attract a different type of man. I really know this from my own experience.

And like the post said, so many women are focused on marrying a man, but what type of wife will you be?

What qualities will you bring to a relationship that make you a good wife?

Work on those, and I swear Mr. Right will likely fall right into your lap.

That vacation/travel you don't want to take alone? Take it! Maybe Mr. Right will be on the plane with you, or bump into you somewhere, and if you went with your 50 closest friends, he would be too intimidated to approach you

Go join that whatever class (cooking, painting, etc.).

Go to the bookstore, and just have fun. Stop worrying.

When you least expect it, it will come! (and probably when you don't care if it does)!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Also, these messages of what I consider impossible readiness are not sent to white women, Asian women and Hispanic women. I think sometimes these messages can do more to make black women feel worse than better, as if she has to constantly "work on herself," and become this super human before she's "worthy" of having a husband.

The real problem is that our community doesn't esteem marriage. Until we start using our churches and our Christian calling to reaffirm marriage as the central family unit in the black community, these pseudo-religious messages to single black women about "working on oneself" as a requirement for marriage won't change much.

Sure, let's all work on ourselves and prepare ourselves to become good wives and mothers. But let's not be made to feel that those of us who are single are that way because something is lacking in us.

Wow, Bunny, great post as usual.

Ladies, please free yourself from the mindset that something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed. (Obviously, if you need counseling or debt management or whatever, that's a different story. Those issues need to be dealt with--preferably before man shows up. But these issues shouldn't preclude the man showing up.) Rather, continue to be your best self and simply expect God's best. You don't have to be perfect to find a great man. If that was the case, a lot of people around you who are getting married wouldn't fit that criteria either.

 

[Iammoney]

You know what I got to thinking last night and this morning about this thread and what bunny said is right.

I have absolutely no idea what it takes to get married or why I am not married because i know of women who cant cook and hardly clean but are married and seem to have a good marriage.

For those that say seek ye....
I have been seeking the kingdom. Have been doing for a while for a long while. God is my witness I am trying to grow in so many different directions but sometimes i feel like my efforts are in vain.
I know that I am BLESSED. I thank God everyday as much as I can and I tell Him how much I appreciate Him. When I look at the news and I see and hear what other people have gone through I feel bad for my request because sometimes i feel that maybe just maybe I am supposed to be like this and i should stay in my place and thank God for that and live my life. How can i in good conscious ask for more when someone right around the corner is starving,homeless,sick,lonely,depressed. Who am I ?
I'm 34 and i have given up and started back a million times over. im tired of fighting this fight. Lets just say im blessed with marriage. Things start to change and then I get frustrated because now i wish i wasnt married. You know what they say be careful what you wish for and then you finally regret because its not all that you expected it to be and now you have to put up with stuff. This man next to me is so annoying. (Hypothetically speaking) Sometimes i wish that about many people in my life because sometimes I just dont feel like being bothered.


I wish I wasnt like this at all. I hate that I have this longing in my heart. I have asked God to take it away. I dont like being so "lovey dovey". I hate that i love romance,showing affection,giving, sharing and wanting to please.
I wish i was hard and could focus on something more productive. All my life I had to fight this and so many times i lost the war. I know I try to post good things in here but my heart is heavy. This burden in my heart is to much. Is there any man out there who is worthy of all the love i have to give ? I am seriously contemplating on just giving it up for good because im not any closer to manifesting If anything im further. Yes,yes Elizabeth was barren and way past menopause and she gave birth to John the Baptist and yes Sarah(sari) was also barren and God finally gave her a child.
Im sorry but im not trying to be an old bride. lets just say i want to go out there and just get any man. and give up on what i have been holding out on for over 10 yrs. what good does that do me ? I feel like im damned if i do and damned if i dont.

Sorry ladies for the vent but im being honest and Im only human

the pastor gave this sermon based on this passage


New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society


2 Corinthians 12:5-9 (New International Version)

5I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Thank you Bunny and Classimami,

I really, really needed what you both posted today. There are so many threads going around about marriage. They all seem to focus on what a man is looking for and what we can do to better ourselves. There is nothing wrong with focusing on bettering ourselves but after a year of reading these topics I have become a bit "paranoid". Like I have to be super perfect . This search for pefection has really put a damper on my self-esteem. On Sunday night I was having a pity party for 1 and I realized that I a "ME" and "ME" will never be perfect. I doubt that I will have sappy fairy tale ending but that does not mean that I cannot have happiness, right? I love to read but I think I have been reading a bit too much and it has affected my thought process. The devil loves to get us in a place of doubt and hopelessness :hardslap:. I won't start out another day feeling like I am less than because of what I am not or areas that I lack in!!!

I am tired of analyzing myself and trying to figure out what is wrong with me. So what I need to clean off my dresser and hang up a few clothes? I go to a good job everyday, I am an excellent mother, I cook and take care of my financial business. I am a good friend and I know that I will be an awesome wife when God leads the right person to me. All I can do in the meantime is live and focus on bettering myself. Being a better me is not for the person that I will meet/marry but only for Me.

I have been praying for clarity and both of your post was the confirmation that I needed. No more of doubting myself! Its time to embrace who I am and give greater love to the person that God created. Thanks from the bottom of my heart to the both of you!

Wow, Bunny, great post as usual.

Ladies, please free yourself from the mindset that something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed. (Obviously, if you need counseling or debt management or whatever, that's a different story. Those issues need to be dealt with--preferably before man shows up. But these issues shouldn't preclude the man showing up.) Rather, continue to be your best self and simply expect God's best. You don't have to be perfect to find a great man. If that was the case, a lot of people around you who are getting married wouldn't fit that criteria either.

 

[Bunny77]

too many martha's in here.

"Seek ye the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."

I missed this post... went back to read the story of Mary and Martha... interesting lesson here...

"As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," The Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42 NIV)

 

[HeChangedMyName]

This is a great topic. While it is good for a woman to be "ready" for a man, it is also good for a man to do the same. Our perception of what readiness is may need to be redefined by God. We can't put worldly limitations on God and assume that we have to be a certain way for him to work a miracle in our lives. Lately God has been ministering to me about the limitations we put on him and try to keep him in our neat little earthly boxes. God has the power to make us ready in a blink of an eye. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
When we seek God the impossible becomes possible and the unlikely becomes whatever God intends it to be. Look at all the heros and heroins of the Bible, many of them were not ready and according to the world's standards, they would have been counted out.
I do agree that when the Holy Spirit begins to tug at you about things that you don't have in order, then it may not be for the benefit of the other person, but for your own benefit. I get convicted often when I see that my house is not as neat as it should be or if I spend too many hours in cyber space being unproductive. That is for me because when all things in my life are in order, then I can focus more of my energy on God(not on the man that he created me for)

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Mitcy your last post was so touching. I still believe that those thorns that you perceive to be in your flesh are the very things that make you super special. The man that finds you will appreciate you even more because of your qualities.

Your honesty is refreshing and it is what makes you human - don't apologize for being you. I admire you strength, knowledge and the spirit that God has placed in you. I am still in AWE at how you handled the work situation this past weekend. You sharing that moment with me spoke volumes to my spirit.

 

[Shimmie]

Mitcy your last post was so touching. I still believe that those thorns that you perceive to be in your flesh are the very things that make you super special. The man that finds you will appreciate you even more because of your qualities.

Your honesty is refreshing and it is what makes you human - don't apologize for being you. I admire you strength, knowledge and the spirit that God has placed in you. I am still in AWE at how you handled the work situation this past weekend. You sharing that moment with me spoke volumes to my spirit.

I agree, Mitcy is a jewel and very much on point with the word of God...

 

[neenzmj]

I’m going to have to chime in with Bunny77. My problem with the message of women “getting ready” for a mate is that it’s unbalanced. By that I mean it only seems to focus on the externals: how you look, how well you cook, how well you clean, how well you pay your bills. Mind you, all these are important, but they don’t even BEGIN to address the most important characteristics for a woman in the marriage relationship – the inner person.

More than likely, we can all attract a man (initially) by looking good, cooking well, cleaning well and having our financial lives in order, but let me assure you all this is negated if you inner person is foul. You may put your foot in every meal you cook. You may clean house better than June Cleaver, but if your husband can’t stand being at home because of your attitude, all that cooking and cleaning means nothing. If you really want to check out some things in your life, check these areas: How’s your attitude? Are you argumentative? Have you taken your submission temperature lately? How are your communication skills? And here’s the big one: SEX! How willing are you to give up that attitude of controlling situations by withholding sex? Are you willing to submit to the idea that your body is not your own?

But in all the things I’ve listed above, I say even more emphatically: Don’t try and “fix” these things in preparation for a mate. First and foremost, any changes you make in your life should be because of what God has called you to be as an individual. Second, do these things for yourself – to become a better person and to have a better life for you. If you aren’t neat, clean your house for your own benefit. If you can’t cook, learn to cook for your sake (to save money and to have healthier, more nutritious meals). Pay your bills so that YOU are in a better financial position, with our without a mate (these things are also scriptural.) If you address these areas for your benefit, they’re already in place when a husband comes your way.


Supporting scriptures:

1 Timothy 3:11: In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.


Proverbs 21:9: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

1 Corinthians 7:4: The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

Colossians 3:18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

This is a wonderful example Bunny. Mary and Martha are two examples of how to view life. Martha was so focused on making sure that everything was perfect for Jesus that she could not enjoy His presence. Her gift was right there in front of her but her mind was boggled down with what needed to be done and making sure that everything was pefect. I think we have all been there and done that??

But Mary sat everything aside and enjoyed the moment. Those pressing issues that Martha saw as being important were non-existence in Mary's eyes. I know that my mind set has been that of Martha and it's time for change.

I missed this post... went back to read the story of Mary and Martha... interesting lesson here...

"As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," The Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42 NIV)

 

[Shimmie]

I shouldn't laugh, but the way you describe the food is hilarious! Yes, thank God for your father!

I know another couple in which the wife couldn't cook a lick, and neither could the husband. But, they were rich and just ate out all the time. Sounds good to me!

Seriously though, your example and the one of my friends' parents (the rich folks) simply tell me that this cooking mandate that some so-called "godly" folks are using to berate women (usually black women) and use it as one of the reasons for their singleness is very false doctrine. It also shows that many of these people don't know what elements truly are important to a Godly marriage. I'm not saying that cooking isn't, but much comes down to how the husband and wife agree to the delegation of duties in the home. Plenty of black women who can throw down in the kitchen are single and have been for most of their lives... just look at the pews in your church...



EXACTLY! Do people think that your home is going to stay clean when you're married and have kids??? The type of place you keep when you're single might be the cleanest place you'll ever have!

Bunny, when my babies were 'babies' my bed has had Honey Nut Cherrios and every color of those fruit snacks, mysteriously within the blankets and sheets.

The fruit snacks stuck to my pillows..... And none of my 'babies' would 'own up to it.'

The little Darlings........

 

[neenzmj]

As an added note: I'm not June Cleaver. I'm striving to have a neater house, but I'm not there yet. My kids are grown and my stove probably gets turned on once a week. I'm working on this, too. I'm not the best at paying bills, but they usually make it in on time (we still have water, lights, gas and a roof over our heads!) I am nowhere near having these things all in perfect order in my life, but I'm striving for it simply because I desire them for both me and my husband.

I agree with the Martha Martha statement, though. For me, spending quality time communicating with my husband wins out over a spic and span household and it seems to be the most important thing for him, too. I think the key for me is making sure that I have balance in it all -- not spending so much quality time that we live in a junk yard, but not giving so much attention to cleaning and cooking that my marriage comes in second or third on the priority list.

 

[Shimmie]

This is a wonderful example Bunny. Mary and Martha are two examples of how to view life. Martha was so focused on making sure that everything was perfect for Jesus that she could not enjoy His presence. Her gift was right there in front of her but her mind was boggled down with what needed to be done and making sure that everything was pefect. I think we have all been there and done that??

But Mary sat everything aside and enjoyed the moment. Those pressing issues that Martha saw as being important were non-existence in Mary's eyes. I know that my mind set has been that of Martha and it's time for change.

Natasha, I totally agree with you.

Guess what though? It took me 'years' to understand this and to accept it.

All I could think of was, Mary still didn't help in the kitchen and didn't wash not a one of the dirty dishes.

I'm all right now. I just don't cook....

And Natashaa, this didn't go over too well when we had guest speakers for Camp Meetings at Church and we fed the guests. Sista' Jones was grabbing err' body to come and help up in the Church kitchen. And she wasn't giving out free chicken wings either.

Still, I understand and agree. I was trying to lighten up a llittle.

God bless you Light of God.

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Shimmie I was thinking the same thing when I first read their story! I was mad at Martha for not helping Mary!!! We seems to gravitate to those that we identify with the most. Now my spirit wants to sit with Jesus as Martha did and marvel in His presence. Sista Jones need to go back and read up on Martha and Mary as well! Those sista in the church kitchen can be mean can't they?

All I could think of was, Mary still didn't help in the kitchen and didn't wash not a one of the dirty dishes.