Why all the secretivenesss..........

[~*Tigget*~]

Why is it that when someone shows genuine concern it has to be taken to this level? I don't think anyone was trying to make fun of her, or let me just speak for myself. I WASN'T trying to make fun of her. I think the post lead to many different views, of all I think are entitled given how it was presented.

For all those that want to debate over the OP shouldn't have to state what the issue was, thats opinion as well as those who wanted to KNOW. Nothing wrong w/ either.

It seems here lately almost every thread I go into I have read arguments. Why can't it just be simple discussion.

If the OP of this thread wanted to discuss how she felt about, it is just as much her right as the OP who posted the setback.

 

[Lavendar]

I don't think she was being secretive. I think she just needed a shoulder to cry on, which is what some ladies offered. It didn't appear that she was seeking any suggestions on how to correct a problem or grow her hair back. Obviously, if she was BSL she knew what to do to grow her hair. She already knows what she did wrong....she's obviously in distress and just needs us to cheer her up and not point any fingers.

 

[Neith]

Why is it that when someone shows genuine concern it has to be taken to this level? I don't think anyone was trying to make fun of her, or let me just speak for myself. I WASN'T trying to make fun of her. I think the post lead to many different views, of all I think are entitled given how it was presented.

For all those that want to debate over the OP shouldn't have to state what the issue was, thats opinion as well as those who wanted to KNOW. Nothing wrong w/ either.

It seems here lately almost every thread I go into I have read arguments. Why can't it just be simple discussion.

If the OP of this thread wanted to discuss how she felt about, it is just as much her right as the OP who posted the setback.

I haven't seen any argument here. It's a civil discussion.

There is never going to be any single discussion where everyone thinks the same way and agrees on everything. That would just be plain unrealistic.


I never said that people SHOULD do one thing or the other. I said I don't understand it. I feel that some people are being unecessarily nosy.


Sorry if my views is one that offended you...

I totally agree that everyone is allowed to have an opinion and I very rarely mean things to be taken personally!
​

 

[casey3035]

You know back in May I had a setback. I tried to even out my own hair WHILE i had a roller set. My hair was jacked up when I finished...Just cut up. If you look at my fotki you will see where I began ...just ugly hair. Then a pic of my daughter pulling down my hair and I was almost armpit level...Then theres a pic thats healthier but shorter. I can't tell you how embarrassed I was and I must admit I was too ashamed to tell anyone! I mean I had worn a protective style for about 6 months and co washed constantly! I was so proud! And look what happened! I really just needed some time. Anyway September the 8th will be my next update so we'll see.

http://public.fotki.com/casey3035/before-and-after/

This is kinda a spin off from another thread about a setback.......

We all feel bad for ppl that have hair setbacks after so much hard work and dedication.

I am wondering why some ppl dont want to tell exactly how the setback occurred....we are here to lend support and also to learn from other ppl's mistakes. How can we avoid the mistakes if we dont know what the mistake was???

Maybe I'm just sadistic, but, when I am told only bits and piece of a story- my mind starts to wonder...............um did ol boy beat dat arse and pull da hair out??

IDK, just kind weird to me.

What do you all think??

 

[Trace]

She will probably tell us later, maybe she is just overwhelmed right now/

I agree. Even if she decides that she doesn't want to talk about it later on, I think that whatever happened is just too new for her to process. She just wanted to get it out. And truth be told, I've seen LHCF'ers admit to mistakes made and folks will make comments asking, "why did you do that?" and then follow-up with advice. People are embarrassed as it is and in hindsight they would have done things differently. But of course that's in hindsight. I bet all of us would do something differently if we could do it all over again. Now with that said, the majority of comments are nothing but positive, uplifting and supportive and that's what it's all about.

 

[Jadore_tay]

I agree. Even if she decides that she doesn't want to talk about it later on, I think that whatever happened is just too new for her to process. She just wanted to get it out. And truth be told, I've seen LHCF'ers admit to mistakes made and folks will make comments asking, "why did you do that?" and then follow-up with advice. People are embarrassed as it is and in hindsight they would have done things differently. But of course that's in hindsight. I bet all of us would do something differently if we could do it all over again. Now with that said, the majority of comments are nothing but positive, uplifting and supportive and that's what it's all about.

AGREE!

 

[bermudabeauty]

Maybe she didn't want to give detail for the same reason some of us are tearing her up now. LOL

 

[Lexib]

My theory is that she chopped it all off in a fit of rage or depression. OR she let her daughter or some other child play with her hair and...well the rest is history.

Either way, hell yeah I'm curiious about this!! But more importantly, it's tragic and I hope she's coping better now.

 

[~*Tigget*~]

I haven't seen any argument here. It's a civil discussion.

There is never going to be any single discussion where everyone thinks the same way and agrees on everything. That would just be plain unrealistic.


I never said that people SHOULD do one thing or the other. I said I don't understand it. I feel that some people are being unecessarily nosy.


Sorry if my views is one that offended you...

I totally agree that everyone is allowed to have an opinion and I very rarely mean things to be taken personally!
​

No offense taken Neith , just observation from the way I see it. It is a argument, nonetheless, a difference of opinion. When in essence its not necessary based on the post.

I think that anyone that inquired of why she had a setback, had a right to. I don't think it was them being nosy, just opening the door for her if she chose, so they could offer an opinion that could help.

I noticed random advise to use Surge 14, I noticed comments to cheer up, hold your head up, etc. All was what was relative and spun out of the OPs post. All is fair, I call it open discussion rather than prying for negative commentary. Some wanted to know just so they could ease her w/ tips, and some just had a word of encouragement. Nothing wrong w/ either.

 

[~*Tigget*~]

My theory is that she chopped it all off in a fit of rage or depression. OR she let her daughter or some other child play with her hair and...well the rest is history.

Either way, hell yeah I'm curiious about this!! But more importantly, it's tragic and I hope she's coping better now.

This is what is to be expected from a post like the OP posted. It was toned for all conversation that came out of this.

 

[Paradox]

This is what is to be expected from a post like the OP posted. It was toned for all conversation that came out of this.

Even time I see that smily it reminds me of Crime and Punishment I hated that book, it was disturbingerplexed

 

[JustKiya]

Heh. Having seen the thread it could be something as simple as an accident during the ingesting of something not quite on the legal side of the line - which any wise sista knows is NOT something you announce on a public board.
There are sometimes very good reasons to not share details, that have nothing to do with embarrassment, but has more to do with wisdom.

Besides, it's ever so much more fun to listen to us try to come up with more and more outlandish stories of what happened - we/ya'll are funny.

 

[~*Tigget*~]

KIYA KIYA KIYA I was thinkn the same thing.......somethg of an illegal substance....hahhahaha I love it

Heh. Having seen the thread it could be something as simple as an accident during the ingesting of something not quite on the legal side of the line - which any wise sista knows is NOT something you announce on a public board.
There are sometimes very good reasons to not share details, that have nothing to do with embarrassment, but has more to do with wisdom.

Besides, it's ever so much more fun to listen to us try to come up with more and more outlandish stories of what happened - we/ya'll are funny.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Heh. Having seen the thread it could be something as simple as an accident during the ingesting of something not quite on the legal side of the line - which any wise sista knows is NOT something you announce on a public board. There are sometimes very good reasons to not share details, that have nothing to do with embarrassment, but has more to do with wisdom.

Besides, it's ever so much more fun to listen to us try to come up with more and more outlandish stories of what happened - we/ya'll are funny.

And go from bsl to nl?

Unless she got high went crazy and chopped off all her hair I don't see how that's possible. She got braids the next day so she obviously didn't do a Richard Pryor (her scalp would be too sore) . This thread needs a poll.

 

[JustKiya]

And go from bsl to nl?

Unless she got high went crazy and chopped off all her hair I don't see how that's possible. She got braids the next day so she obviously didn't do a Richard Pryor (her scalp would be too sore) . This thread needs a poll.

*giggle* Girl, one of my girlfriends damn near burnt ALLL of her (apl'ish) length hair off, being silly while smoking and accidentally lit her hair. By the time we put it out (and stopped another fool from throwing a damn drink on her) she was lucky to HAVE any hair. She was HOT, too.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

*giggle* Girl, one of my girlfriends damn near burnt ALLL of her (apl'ish) length hair off, being silly while smoking and accidentally lit her hair. By the time we put it out (and stopped another fool from throwing a damn drink on her) she was lucky to HAVE any hair. She was HOT, too.

Dang . The worst I ever did was burn off some eyelashes leaning over the stove to...hold up! this ain't the confessions thread

 

[JustKiya]

Dang . The worst I ever did was burn off some eyelashes leaning over the stove to...hold up! this ain't the confessions thread

Seeeeeeee. You finna tell on yourself!!!!

Thankfully, despite being a low-grade pyromanic, I've always been paranoid about hair & fire, and never had to deal with that......

 

[vkb247]

OT: Once at a party this guy was trying to smoke while he was dancing with my friend and lit her hair on fire with his lighter!

And then had the nerve to try to keep on dancing with her. She was alarmed about her hair (It didn't cause any noticeable damage thankfully)...I wanted to slap him for her!

 

[Christa438]

*giggle* Girl, one of my girlfriends damn near burnt ALLL of her (apl'ish) length hair off, being silly while smoking and accidentally lit her hair. By the time we put it out (and stopped another fool from throwing a damn drink on her) she was lucky to HAVE any hair. She was HOT, too.

Im sorry about yo friend...but when you mentioned that, it made me think of that scene with Michael on stage in the movie The Jacksons: An American Dream. He was dancing down those steps grabbing himself every now and then as usual and then that spark got him and it was over. HEHE!!...when I watch that scene I feel bad thinking that it actually happened but I cant help I guess it's that voice saying "Aaawww my head! Help me! My hair, put it out!" and then they had him rolling down another flight of steps {I usually wouldn't laugh at third degree burns in the head and especially if it was one of us, but that scene leaves my stomach hurtin from laughing}...then it goes to the hospital scene where his mother tells him "you'll get your hair back."

 

[dcprdiva]

Why do we have five pages about this? I don't understand why someone would want a shoulder to cry on if they cant be honest about the situation. Nearly everyone who posted on that thread wanted to know what happened. If you are SOOOO embarassed, you need not be posting on the board for real.... I mean, all of us are going to read it!

Not trying to be mean but darn! It's not about being nosy.... just like "full disclosure," while not required - still we do want to know what NOT to do too!!!!

 

[la mosca]

Im sorry about yo friend...but when you mentioned that, it made me think of that scene with Michael on stage in the movie The Jacksons: An American Dream. He was dancing down those steps grabbing himself every now and then as usual and then that spark got him and it was over. HEHE!!...when I watch that scene I feel bad thinking that it actually happened but I cant help I guess it's that voice saying "Aaawww my head! Help me! My hair, put it out!" and then they had him rolling down another flight of steps {I usually wouldn't laugh at third degree burns in the head and especially if it was one of us, but that scene leaves my stomach hurtin from laughing}...then it goes to the hospital scene where his mother tells him "you'll get your hair back."

Totally OT: you killed me with this. This movie is so in my Netflix queue.

 

[Irresistible]

Things are used against you later around here too

by the select few that would do that! I understand that she didnt want her bidness all out there

its easy to tell when its over and your on the other side, but not while your still hurting and in the situation, and the few hurtful out there might send the situation further into devastation for her with hurtful insensitive comments

 

[Christa438]

As long as we paid our $$, we are able to start threads and to participate or not participate in threads. We all have our POV. I hope this thread does not get closed-- that has happened sometimes and IMO it should not have been necessary. There are two sides (privacy/withholding vs. sharing) and I am open-minded enough that I can at least understand each side even if I really only agree with one.

 

[TaurusAngel]

Things are used against you later around here too

by the select few that would do that! I understand that she didnt want her bidness all out there

its easy to tell when its over and your on the other side, but not while your still hurting and in the situation, and the few hurtful out there might send the situation further into devastation for her with hurtful insensitive comments

I agree with this entire post.

 

[song_of_serenity]

Im sorry about yo friend...but when you mentioned that, it made me think of that scene with Michael on stage in the movie The Jacksons: An American Dream. He was dancing down those steps grabbing himself every now and then as usual and then that spark got him and it was over. HEHE!!...when I watch that scene I feel bad thinking that it actually happened but I cant help I guess it's that voice saying "Aaawww my head! Help me! My hair, put it out!" and then they had him rolling down another flight of steps {I usually wouldn't laugh at third degree burns in the head and especially if it was one of us, but that scene leaves my stomach hurtin from laughing}...then it goes to the hospital scene where his mother tells him "you'll get your hair back."

This??:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXZUpCF2euU
Then I saw this and felt bad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp4YG_dIPxY&feature=related

 

[InquiringMind]

I had a major setback in May but, I definitely explained everything that happened to me. I was devastated! I guess I don't visit the hair board enough to notice any secrecy. I appreciate all the support and advice that I get.

 

[InquiringMind]

Ok so, I think I just read the thread in question. I can see both sides of the perspective and some people just are too embarassed to say but, need the extra support. I understand her not wanting to say anything.

 

[aloof one]

Remember that time a member pulled some braids completely out of her scalp (and how )? Well if that happened to me I probably would want secrecy. I think we forced it out of her in the end but I could understand why people would keep it under wraps. I dont know what this is a spinoff of, but I dont think the why always matters. I think if you have enough info you can find a solution, you dont need to know ALL the details.

 

[Pheonixx]

Ok:

1.
First---some of ya'll gon read what the girl wrote, interrogate the girl in her OWN thread THEN somebody gon make an issue out of a NONissue and create another thread right next to hers and everybody gon get in here clucking like a bunch of hens--being 'MESSY' and discussing 'the girl' and 'her issue' like she ain't even here.....?

Or as Bernie Mac, i.e., Kings of Comedy, said when his niece (in a conversation with his 'sissy nephew') referred to him as a 'Him' when he was standing in the room right next to her, "Callin me 'Him'. Like I ain't got no damn name..."

Of course this ain't directed at everybody. Some of the speculating about what happened is funny but overall the tone of this thread is just.....it's not even that---it's the the fact that this thread exists in the first place.
It's just so tacky.

And I'll tell you why I think this: How does this look to her? Do you think she doesn't know she's being talked about?

Then some of ya'll wonder why the girl didn't disclose the issue. If it's that embarassing or whatever---I'm sure she's happy that she didn't. Look at the bull that came from her NOT divulging.

Then ppl talkin about some , "I don't know why she wouldn't tell it all. We here to support ppl..."
Really......?

And pray tell would this thread be an example of the 'support' a few of you claim to be offering?

What is the big deal? If the girl doesn't want to talk about it then what is there for ppl to do but respect that decision? It could have been somehting really serious, ya'll don't know.
>>shrugs<<

2.
'Ppl using information against others' on here. Seriously?
...the hell....?
Like 'using info how'? Like, what---'blackmail'?
That's just...
That's pure craziness. I'm sorry. I like hair too but ya'll are too dramatic for me. with all the soap-opera mess (if it exists). LOL @ ppl acting like we're all characters on the set of 'Dallas' or 'Dynasty'.
LCHF-er to DH "She's trying to destroy me and my good name!!!!"

If it ever gets that deep for anybody I'ma really need for you to unplug the damn computer!

 

[Irresistible]

Ok:

1.
First---some of ya'll gon read what the girl wrote, interrogate the girl in her OWN thread THEN somebody gon make an issue out of a NONissue and create another thread right next to hers and everybody gon get in here clucking like a bunch of hens--being 'MESSY' and discussing 'the girl' and 'her issue' like she ain't even here.....?

Or as Bernie Mac, i.e., Kings of Comedy, said when his niece (in a conversation with his 'sissy nephew') referred to him as a 'Him' when he was standing in the room right next to her, "Callin me 'Him'. Like I ain't got no damn name..."

Of course this ain't directed at everybody. Some of the speculating about what happened is funny but overall the tone of this thread is just.....it's not even that---it's the the fact that this thread exists in the first place.
It's just so tacky.

And I'll tell you why I think this: How does this look to her? Do you think she doesn't know she's being talked about?

Then some of ya'll wonder why the girl didn't disclose the issue. If it's that embarassing or whatever---I'm sure she's happy that she didn't. Look at the bull that came from her NOT divulging.

Then ppl talkin about some , "I don't know why she wouldn't tell it all. We here to support ppl..."
Really......?

And pray tell would this thread be an example of the 'support' a few of you claim to be offering?

What is the big deal? If the girl doesn't want to talk about it then what is there for ppl to do but respect that decision? It could have been somehting really serious, ya'll don't know.
>>shrugs<<

2.
'Ppl using information against others' on here. Seriously?
...the hell....?
Like 'using info how'? Like, what---'blackmail'?
That's just...
That's pure craziness. I'm sorry. I like hair too but ya'll are too dramatic for me. with all the soap-opera mess (if it exists). LOL @ ppl acting like we're all characters on the set of 'Dallas' or 'Dynasty'.
LCHF-er to DH "She's trying to destroy me and my good name!!!!"

If it ever gets that deep for anybody I'ma really need for you to unplug the damn computer!

If you dont know how that might (and has) gone down around here before, well lets just say 'ignorance is bliss' best ya not know I suppose! it aint like those of us that know can actually break it all down right here for ya anyway......so what that said, trust it happens, in ugly ways too

But I agree fully with the whole first part of your post