so... why did you relax your hair in the first place?

Why did you relax your hair?


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melissa-bee

Well-Known Member
Well the first time I relaxed my hair I was 18, and almost 4 years later I’m transitioning. I've got 4b hair when natural and I was okay with it but the only problem was i wasn't retaining length.
So when I went to college all my friends were saying i should relax my hair for about a year and i finally I caved in and did, My mum was against it form the start but me and my friend went ahead and relaxed it. But what I failed to see is that the people that were telling me to relax my hair were ALWAYS in weaves and extensions:perplexed which i never wear, and i went and listened to them with my foolish self:look:. Anyways my hair looked good for about the first 2 years and then it went down hill.
So my question is why did you decide to relax your hair?
 
It was never really a choice.

eta: if i did have the choice before hairboards i would have still relaxed my hair, i don't know what the reasons would have been, to fit in most probably or to have more "manageable" hair
 
Well I had no choice, my mom relaxed my hair at an early age, I think I was 10 or a little older, I don't remember, I do still relaxed my hair till this day, but I do different things than others, I like my relaxer, but I'm sure one day I will probably transition and go natural but I won't BC though.....but I have daughter and I'm going to wait until she reaches 16 or 17 and let HER decide if she wants to relax, press or stay natural......
 
It seemed like everyone in my JHS was getting a perm and I wanted one too. I wanted that hair that moved in the wind...little did I know what I was in for.
 
Relaxed first when I was a kid, no choice.

Went natural as soon as I learned I could do it.

Relaxed briefly because I was frustrated.

Went natural again.

Relaxed again because of super-shrinkage, styling time, knots causing breakage, headaches & loss of edges due to puffs.
 
My mom, who is natural, allowed me to get a relaxer at 11, she didn't want to but I literally begged her for months until she cave in. The funny thing is everyone in my 6th grade class pretty much still had natural hair, I wanted a relaxer to be different...lol
 
I relaxed the first time at 19 because I was tired of multiple knots and long detangling session. Did I mention I am very tenderheaded as well. My mother used to feed me with tons of candies when I was younger so I could stay in the chair long enough for my daily braids (yes daily or otherwise my catholic school would send me back home for unkempt hair). You remember the little girl on youtube suffering like a mad, that was me years ago, except my mother was very gentle. I was the only one going through this problem, my sisters were fine and as I am talking 2 of them are natural.

My parents (specially my father) were so against relaxers because according to him we (me and my sisters) had the most beautiful texture in the world. I beleived it and still do, but honestly on a daily basis what I was going through with my hair was not worth the praises.

Actually he did not even want me to press my hair, but I eventually did for about 3 years and he did not even know. I used to leave the house with a hat on my head and since he used to work like 16 hours a day we barely saw each other. I would wash my hair on friday night, be a good girl during the week-ends and have my auntie press it for me on sunday afternoon and make sure to go to bed early enough so he can't find out what's going on.

At 19, I moved out the house, went to University, got my first job, paid me my first relaxer. That was about it. As much as I love my father, I could not take it anymore. I'd leave the choice to my daughter as well if I have one in the future. There won't be any pressure from me one way or the other.
 
I relaxed at 15, I wanted to be able to style my hair like my older sisters(as you do) and fit in with everybody else (as you do) by having my hair lay down rather than bush out.
 
I got my friend to relax my hair at 15. My mum was absolutely fuming - couldn't understand then why she was so mad, but of course I can understand it now. There was nothing wrong with my natural hair, it was thick and very healthy, but I wanted to fit in with my mates... :rolleyes:
 
Gave in to my big sister when I was about 14 or 15 who told me that it would be good for my hair. Prior to that I wasn't concerned one way nor the other, my dad was dead set against it. Well, it was underprocessed and looked crappy until I found a great salon when I was about 18 or 19. My last relaxer was 2 years later.
 
I wanted to. I was twelve. My hair was super thick and I didn't know of any styles other than the kiddie pigtails, one ponytail, or a headband, and I didn't want my mother doing my hair anymore. The relaxer gave me an instant style and manageability.
 
My hair was relaxed at 10 so I didn't have a choice. I didn't even know what a relax was back then. I definitely would not have relaxed my hair if it had been my choice. I am natural now and so are my DD's. They already know how I feel about it. My step-daughter is 13 and asked her dad for one and I said oh hell no LOL so now I rollerset her 3c VERY thick hair to help her manage it. I just want to let her know she has options.
 
Because my mom thought my hair would be better managable.. and my hair went straight downhill ever since that is.... until two years ago after discovering lhcf!!!
 
My mother didn't know how to braid/ twist hair and she was tired of sending me to her friend's house to get it done every weekend so when I was 12 she let me relax it so that I would be able to comb it myself.
 
Middle School...thought I would be "cute" and get a relaxer. Wish I hadn't. Glad I'm deciding to go back to my natural texture and thickness! :)
 
I honestly don't remember. It must have been before the second grade. It was obviously not my choice. My hair was really healthy though (before I messed it up in high school) so I don't really hate her for it.
 
I was curious - I never had a relaxer before, and I wanted to see what the hype was about. I was 18, and got it done over winter break from college. I also got my then APL length hair chopped off into a Halle cut at the same time, which completely horrified the ladies in the beauty salon. :lachen:
I quickly figured out I hated straight hair, and definitely hated the upkeep, and really, really hated the smells and the scabs.
 
i begged my mom also to let me relax.
alot of my friends had relaxers (or what seemed to be relaxers, most were actually just pressed) at the time.
 
I was just a little bitty kid at the time. My hair was very thick, long, and healthy. My mom's friend convinced her that it would make HER life easier to give me a relaxer. :nono: I was responsible for doing my own relaxer touchups and everything else my hair needed from age 8 onward. I looked a HAM constantly. It was horrible.
 
I relaxed (jheri curl) because I was convinced by a friend with longer hair than mine that it was that which made her hair grow long and long hair has always been a dream of mine.
 
I was 9 and we were moving to the states from Nigeria. I just think my mom figured our lives were going to be so different that she wouldn't have time to put so much effort into my hair. When I permed it, it was thick and reached down my back.

By the time I was in High School, it was thin, brittle and just below my neck. Everyone changed the blame in weather but the truth was that I had bad hair practices. And my hair stylist sucked (I lost even more length over time when I started going to her :()
 
I was 16. Frankly my situation was the same as MAMATO's. I was tired of the long detangling sessions and I pressed it bi weekly anyways. Don't really regret a thing.
 
I don't even remember when I got my first relaxer, but it was at a young age - maybe 8 or 9. I DO remember before getting a relaxer, I had to sit in front of a stove weekly while my mom pressed it (burned ears anyone??). I hated that, but my hair did look nice after it was pressed. I also liked when my mom styled my hair with two or three huge puffs. I guess the daily styling got to be too much for her. I don't hate her for it, heck I'm still relaxed to this day.

I'm one of those relaxed heads, who never had a big problem with relaxer burns, scabs, hair falling out and such. In fact, there were many times that I was under-processed. This led me to the belief that I needed to get my relaxer touched up every four weeks. Of course I know better now, but at the time I always had hair on my head and I didn't look like the other relaxed heads I saw IRL.

I'm staying relaxed for now because I'm thrilled that I found LHCF and learned how to take care of my hair properly. However, I will go natural eventually because I'm curious to see what my true texture really is.
 
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I would love to be all naturale and I'm planning on transitioning but we'll see. As for now, my hair is grazing MBL and I would hate to cut off the length. I have been relaxed since I was about 12 years old and didn't think I had any advantages in going natural.
 
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