Need to Get This Off My Chest

[SmilingElephant]

I spent the whole week at my friends house. I've come to realize that when i'm not in the comfort of my own house....my hair routine is not what its supposed to be.

Anyways.....I'm only like 3 to 4 weeks post and i was doing my best to avoid using heat......all she could say was that....

Gurl i'm telling you this as a friend...you need a perm! While she's sittin there with her sew in. I've NEVER seen her real hair.....she says it come to her ear.

So...another day she made the same statement....you need a perm!! I turned to her and firmly said....No, i don't. I JUST got a perm...i can't help that my hair is super thick!!.....so after i said all that she had nothing else to say. I love her to death but that jus erked me.

Why do so many black women think that just bc a girl has really thick har that a perm is gonna fix it? My hair is thick as soon as i get a perm (relaxer). My grandma was the same way.....my hair is so thick so i need a perm....sorry....can't help that my hair is just simply like that.

 

[locabouthair]

do you texlax?

I realize that in the black community, if you're hair's not bone straight it's not acceptable.

You just gotta ignore people.

 

[Kiki82]

do you texlax?

I realize that in the black community, if you're hair's not bone straight it's not acceptable.

You just gotta ignore people.

So true to the bolded...when I was around 8-9 weeks post that is all I heard from my sister and mother...I relax when I wanted to... 12 weeks...

 

[mahogany_horizons]

do you texlax?

I realize that in the black community, if you're hair's not bone straight it's not acceptable.

You just gotta ignore people.

AMEN...COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF!! JUST IGNORE THEM!!

 

[chebaby]

just ignore them. i only relax 2x a year, sometimes 3 but it just depends on when i want to. people always want to tell you what to do with youur hair even though they dont have any lol. this one girl told me my hair would fall out because i stopped relaxing for 11 months. im like its already been 11 months if it was gonna fall out it would have done so by now.

 

[PinkSkates]

do you texlax?

I realize that in the black community, if you're hair's not bone straight it's not acceptable.

You just gotta ignore people.

The bold is so sad and just ignorant thinking.

 

[prettybrowneyescutie]

I can't stand it when people tell what I need to do with my hair, like I asked for their input. I could care less what they say. Don't let that get to you. You know what is best for your hair and it is looking lovely, so what ever you are doing keep it up.

 

[HoneyA]

I understand why you would feel uncomfortable with her comments. I got a retouch just 4 weeks ago as well and when I took photos two days ago, it looked like I needed a perm because the ng looks prominent but if someone else had told me that I don't think I would have appreciated it because I know they don't mean it as a compliment. It is true that maybe it's just because we have thick hair. Never mind though, just ignore in future or smile and say "me and my thick fast growing hair, gotta love it!"

 

[SmilingElephant]

I think i am texlaxed...not sure really. I'm gonna uplaod a new avi pic. That jus made me so mad when she said that.

 

[cicilypayne]

Ignore them your hair is thriving and you know what your doing.

 

[Irresistible]

just when you think times might be changing you log into LHCF and see a few threads of this nature

and walk away dismayed again

OP I dont know why other people feel like they can get all up in your hair like that and just tell you what you need like that. I dont get it and it aint right

you do just gotta let it roll of your back and chalk it up

they know not what they do

 

[ShaniKeys]

Why do so many black women think that just bc a girl has really thick hair that a perm is gonna fix it?

In my case it was an African pastor who told me, he was trying to convince me to go to his church or whatever, talkin' about the bible, all of a sudden he stops, takes one look at my hair and says: You need to relax your hair, you don't wanna go to church looking like that! I just replied to him that I wasn't planning on relaxing my hair (I was transitioning at the time).

 

[gissellr78]

I spent the whole week at my friends house. I've come to realize that when i'm not in the comfort of my own house....my hair routine is not what its supposed to be.

Anyways.....I'm only like 3 to 4 weeks post and i was doing my best to avoid using heat......all she could say was that....

Gurl i'm telling you this as a friend...you need a perm! While she's sittin there with her sew in. I've NEVER seen her real hair.....she says it come to her ear.

So...another day she made the same statement....you need a perm!! I turned to her and firmly said....No, i don't. I JUST got a perm...i can't help that my hair is super thick!!.....so after i said all that she had nothing else to say. I love her to death but that jus erked me.

Why do so many black women think that just bc a girl has really thick har that a perm is gonna fix it? My hair is thick as soon as i get a perm (relaxer). My grandma was the same way.....my hair is so thick so i need a perm....sorry....can't help that my hair is just simply like that.

Hey buddy!!!

The only one that knows when you need a perm is you and that is no earlier than 8 weeks hopefully 12-14 ....you have hair on your head so ignore her

 

[LisaLisa1908]

Dearest OP,

I have three words for you:

CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

All the best,
LL1908

 

[Angelicus]

Yea... isn't your hair longer than hers?

 

[january noir]

I understand why you would feel uncomfortable with her comments. I got a retouch just 4 weeks ago as well and when I took photos two days ago, it looked like I needed a perm because the ng looks prominent but if someone else had told me that I don't think I would have appreciated it because I know they don't mean it as a compliment. It is true that maybe it's just because we have thick hair. Never mind though, just ignore in future or smile and say "me and my thick fast growing hair, gotta love it!"

 

[MsElise]

I'll take thick hair over sewed in hair any day.

 

[blue_flower]

What's wrong with having thick hair? I've had it all my life. When I was younger I wanted my hair like the rest of the girls at school: thin, bone straight, and stiff. That is *not* the look for me.

 

[Rae1234]

In my case it was an African pastor who told me, he was trying to convince me to go to his church or whatever, talkin' about the bible, all of a sudden he stops, takes one look at my hair and says: You need to relax your hair, you don't wanna go to church looking like that! I just replied to him that I wasn't planning on relaxing my hair (I was transitioning at the time).

wow thats sad!

 

[Muse]

do you texlax?

I realize that in the black community, if you're hair's not bone straight it's not acceptable.

You just gotta ignore people.

So true! And thanks to this board I have come to appreciate my natural texture and it feels really good, quite liberating. I know some women (and men) have given me sideways looks but I'm like this is my natural texture like it or not. I don't hear people telling curly haired white girls they need to relax so neither do I.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I spent the whole week at my friends house. I've come to realize that when i'm not in the comfort of my own house....my hair routine is not what its supposed to be.

Anyways.....I'm only like 3 to 4 weeks post and i was doing my best to avoid using heat......all she could say was that....

Gurl i'm telling you this as a friend...you need a perm! While she's sittin there with her sew in. I've NEVER seen her real hair.....she says it come to her ear.

So...another day she made the same statement....you need a perm!! I turned to her and firmly said....No, i don't. I JUST got a perm...i can't help that my hair is super thick!!.....so after i said all that she had nothing else to say. I love her to death but that jus erked me.

Why do so many black women think that just bc a girl has really thick har that a perm is gonna fix it? My hair is thick as soon as i get a perm (relaxer). My grandma was the same way.....my hair is so thick so i need a perm....sorry....can't help that my hair is just simply like that.

Conditoning and Brainwashing!!!! This is how people think!!!!! They also thinking cutting it off is best....

so - there ya go. Any Person with a weave has NOTHING to say to me.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

In my case it was an African pastor who told me, he was trying to convince me to go to his church or whatever, talkin' about the bible, all of a sudden he stops, takes one look at my hair and says: You need to relax your hair, you don't wanna go to church looking like that! I just replied to him that I wasn't planning on relaxing my hair (I was transitioning at the time).

WHAAA? See...there it is.....Brainwashing.

 

[kamillya14]

I KNOW!!! I experience the exact same thing!! I was recently told I needed to start bringing the realxer all the way down to the ends because my hair was "too thick" and the relaxer would help thin it out. Of course it will - by breaking the ends off!!!

 

[normacyri]

So true to the bolded...when I was around 8-9 weeks post that is all I heard from my sister and mother...I relax when I wanted to... 12 weeks...

I too have to endure the constant ribbing from my sister about my "nappy head". My hair is VERRRY thick too and at this point (12 weeks post) all I can do is a braidout up in a ponytail or bun. She seems to forget about how "terrible" I am when I get a fresh relaxer and she sees how healthy my hair is.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I KNOW!!! I experience the exact same thing!! I was recently told I needed to start bringing the realxer all the way down to the ends because my hair was "too thick" and the relaxer would help thin it out. Of course it will - by breaking the ends off!!!

WHAT?????
erplexed

 

[Lucky's Mom]

[/b]


I too have to endure the constant ribbing from my sister about my "nappy head". My hair is VERRRY thick too and at this point (12 weeks post) all I can do is a braidout up in a ponytail or bun. She seems to forget about how "terrible" I am when I get a fresh relaxer and she sees how healthy my hair is.

She won't be ribbing you when you are at Tailbone length. She will be asking you questions.

 

[normacyri]

In my case it was an African pastor who told me, he was trying to convince me to go to his church or whatever, talkin' about the bible, all of a sudden he stops, takes one look at my hair and says: You need to relax your hair, you don't wanna go to church looking like that! I just replied to him that I wasn't planning on relaxing my hair (I was transitioning at the time).

This makes me sad . He don't think the Lord would accept you without a fresh "DO". We love to mess stuff up don't we, trippin' off the wrong things.