Hubby hates my protective styles!!! Whatever

Mommynikki772

Mommynikki772

New Member
So my DH hates my protective styles all of them my wigs,half wigs,sew ins,cornrows everything. He is all over me now that my hair is growing long and is always commenting how gorgeous my hair is he especially loves when we go out and I get the compliments and just wants me to wear it out.:nono::nono::nono:
I have been on this journey seriously for over a year and have sooo much progress I refuse to stop just because he dont do weaves.
I tell him the only way my hair grows long and healthy is maintaining my protective styles. I personally love my sew ins and wigs but he thinks they just look fake no matter how much the hair cost or how its installed yeah dude has issues lol!
What do you ladies do if you SO dislikes your protective styles?
 
I wear a bun! I don't wear weave and my husband hates weave personally. He likes my own hair. No problem. I have worn a weave once or twice before :yep: but always felt more comfortable with my own hair, no matter what the length.

So...consider alternate non-weave protective styles. Buns, pincurls, any up style, french roll, twists, plaits, rollerset (for me is a protective style). I'm sure other ladies will chime in.

So glad your husband loves and appreciates your hair on your head. That's so sweet!
 
marriage, so i have learned, is about two people not one. my mom always reminds me that if i wanted my way all the time, i didn't have to agree to share my life with another person. (yes, this makes me mad too. but she is right.)

my parents have been married 47 years, so they must know something. LOL!

in the interest of you showing that you care about your husbands feelings, try to find a compromise...like maybe wigs during the week at work and wear your hair down and out on weekends. maybe he will come around and try to meet you halfway if you make the effort as well.

i explained my protective styles to my husband and he understands now, even though he prefers my own hair, he remembers when my hair was unhealthy and shorter than it is now, he sees that my methods work,and so he has come around esp since he prefers long hair.

i also let my husband help me pick out scarves, and hairstyles, (he wont pick out wigs) and that seems to make him feel more included as well.
 
I think havilland put it sooo well. I think you should try to find a compromise.

Protective styles/healthy styles dont have to include fake hair. Maybe you can start to do low-manipulation as opposed to putting all your hair away. Like braid-outs and flat twist outs.

If you're relaxed you can rollerset your hair to get a straight look without the damage of direct heat.
 
havilland said:
marriage, so i have learned, is about two people not one. my mom always reminds me that if i wanted my way all the time, i didn't have to agree to share my life with another person. (yes, this makes me mad too. but she is right.)
Click to expand...

I agree with this to a certain degree, but when it comes to my own personal body, I think that's where I draw the line. I would be willing to compromise in order to keep his big mouth shut, but I would not necessarily feel obligated to do so simply because we are married. Just my personal opinion.

Anyway, like others have suggested, you might be able to find styles that he can appreciate that don't include weaves. There are sooo many protective styles to choose from! :yep:

On the other hand, if you aren't able to find a protective style that he likes, then just continue to do you. You can only compromise if he is willing to meet you half way. :ohwell:
 
MY SO has never dated a BW before and so much of what I do is odd to him lol. I explain to him that I am trying to grow my hair out and between PS while I'm giving my hair a small break and doing things like progress pics and such I do it free and wash'n'go so he can play with it as he want to. Seeing the growth makes him more understanding. But, like you, I am sure the problem will come in when it's long and he's like why now lol:wallbash: Men are men and when you share your life with them we all have to compromise. That's the best thing to do in the end. Do a style you like for a while, then wear it for him for a while, and alternate.
 
Sianna said:
I agree with this to a certain degree, but when it comes to my own personal body, I think that's where I draw the line. I would be willing to compromise in order to keep his big mouth shut, but I would not necessarily feel obligated to do so simply because we are married. Just my personal opinion.

Anyway, like others have suggested, you might be able to find styles that he can appreciate that don't include weaves. There are sooo many protective styles to choose from! :yep:

On the other hand, if you aren't able to find a protective style that he likes, then just continue to do you. You can only compromise if he is willing to meet you half way. :ohwell:
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I wholeheartedly agree with you Sianna. If my SO gave me static about my hair KNOWING I'm doing it for hair health and SEEING the results, we would have a serious problem.
 
My husband is the same way...he despises anything that has to do with weaves, wigs etc....He has five sisters and I think he has some deep rooted Wig/Weave Horror stories that he has not gotten over :nono:

he would prefer I shaved my head bald than wear either or
 
Well sometimes it is compromise. Search the board for all the pretty pin ups and bun styles you could create with your own hair or just a little bit of hair to create a classy loose bun.

Set a goal of creating different bun styles for 2 weeks see if that helps. Also let him know your goal what length you are trying to reach so he realizes you were doing the wigs and additional hair for a certain length of time.

Hang in there.

PS. Your hair is very pretty in your avi.
 
I have been protective styling in buns for over a year for retention and because I was transitions. My SO has hates it. I try to explain to him the reasons why I do it and he understands but it doesn't make him any less annoyed with the buns. I recently did the bc about a week ago but i still protective style in buns because now I want retention. Of course he complains, I am actually willing to compromise and ps in buns for two weeks and then one week i leave it out or do some other style. The problem is that I am basically style challenged. I try to do other styles but they are just a flop for me. So until i learn another style well enough to wear out the house so will just have to live with my buns. So OP you are not alone... good luck with your HHJ
 
Pin-ups with rollersets (red flexi rods or conair rollers of that size are my preference) are a great way to protect your hair. Not as hardcore as buns but it's an alternative.

I'm also style challenged...but for buns (yeah I know :lachen:) so I have to come up with other options. Short bangs are great too, high maintenance, but they can seriously spice up protective styles.
 
I am Not willing to compromise!

My husband hates wigs, weaves, etc but I don't care; I am keeping my hair completely hidden from him by plaiting it and tying it up in scarves all the time.

It is not that I am selfish, but I am doing my hair for Me and I am at the point where I have to do what's best for my hair.
 
My Hubby doesn't do weaves/wigs or braids... so I just wear my hair up Mon-Thursday and enjoy my hair the rest of the time..That's my way of meeting in the middle
 
I see you said "DH" so your married as in walked down the aisle. I say you should compromise with him. I agree with Traycee wear it up in a bun and down on weekends and around the house just for him.
If he hates fake hair work with him please. :)
Try braid outs, twist outs, buns with flowers or acces. to doll it up a bit
HTH
 
I agree with the ladies above...I know when I get length I will have to get creative with my PS's ...and my dh is good with them as long as they are my own hair...

Marriage is all about Communication and Compromise on all levels.....I am sure you will come up with some great styles that you both will like....

Your hair is beautiful in your avatar
 
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My hubby just told me the EXACT thing last night so I am gonna do my half wigs when i go to work then wear my hair out the rest of the time. It's definitely a compromise!
 
Marriage is about compromise. And refusing to compromise is like playing Russian Roulette with your marriage.

I'd hate for some of y'all stubborn sistas to put a strain on your marriages OVER HAIR.:perplexed
 
Well, I see their are some really nice wives on this thread. I just do whatever I want to my hair whether or not my husband likes it. But, my husband learn a long time ago not to tell me what to do with my hair. I cook, clean, wash his clothes, and take good care of him. So my hair is my thing.
 
*CherryPie* said:
Marriage is about compromise. And refusing to compromise is like playing Russian Roulette with your marriage.

I'd hate for some of y'all stubborn sistas to put a strain on your marriages OVER HAIR.:perplexed
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Call me stubborn (and I tend to be), but if my DH wants to leave b/c I'm doing what I need to do for my hair (PS), then I say to him......Goodbye.
 
My goodness....is protective styling more important then your own marriage to some people.....seriously??:ohwell:

Added hair and buns are not the end all to retaining length. I think more ladies need to explore all the various styles they can do while protecting their hair at the same time. ie. flexi-rod sets, bantu-knot outs and rollersetting.

You have to choose your battles sometimes...and PSing is really not that important compared to the man you pledged your life to.
 
it_comes_naturally said:
Call me stubborn (and I tend to be), but if my DH wants to leave b/c I'm doing what I need to do for my hair (PS), then I say to him......Goodbye.
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My Husband wouldn't leave me over a hair style....That's extreme.

I just enjoy HIM when he at lost of words b/c he thinks I'm drop dead beautiful at the moment ...I love the way he can't keep his hands out of my hair b/c its so soft..

Just like how he shaves his head b/c I think its sexy...

I want to be appealing in his eyes.... Maybe I'm the strange one for wanting to keep it HOT
 
It's your hair and your body true enough but you have to be fair and willing to compromise. As long as he does not do it in an insulting or condescending way, I think he is entitled. If he decided to walk around with braided hair and you hate men in braids...see where I'm going with this. Give a little, take a little.

Ask him if he has any suggestions and then you both could work towards your goal of protecting you hair and palatable hairstyle for him.
 
I just started wearing half-wigs only a couple weeks ago, and my husband is also apprehensive. He doesn't hate them (just yet) but it makes him uncomfortable. But he actually doesn't mind my protective styles (although he prefers for me to either blow it out or wear mini-twists because he loves the length and body). I made the mistake of flat-ironing my hair ONCE this winter (first time in 5 yrs) and he is still bugging me about doing that again.

He doesn't get it. He says weaves are for women who have no hair or ugly/messed up hair underneath so why cover up your hair if its already nice and pretty?

I think he has a point though. Although its my body, there should be some compromise--he wants to see me in all my glory, that's part of why he married me in reality. I could only imagine what I'd do if hubby decided he wanted to die his hair blonde or would feel better if he put on 200 lbs of muscle (I hate the meaty jock physique) or if he had some complex about his skin color so wore a burka daily to avoid tanning under the sun. Its his body, but I'd be a tad irritated too. Extreme examples, I know, but similar in principle.

I don't have this problem w/ my hubby cause he generally shuts up about asking me to do anything with my hair (ie. he knows I'm not straightening it again for a long while), but that don't stop him from cracking jokes every now and then to piss me off. Still he's gotten better at not doing that anymore after I told him off a few times.

But a good compromise may be to mix it up and wear it out for him or on special occasion. Make it obvious your wearing it out for him one night, like right before sex (and have that night just happened to be the night before your wash day anyway).
 
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mrsjohnson75 said:
Its MY hair and I won't compromise BUT I'll keep it cute as always.
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I think I share this sentiment. However, I may need to work on the "cute" part. :lachen:

I JUST noticed I posted a similar posted today, ooops. This didn't come up in my search. Booo. Oh well. :spinning:
 
BlackMasterPiece said:
My goodness....is protective styling more important then your own marriage to some people.....seriously??:ohwell:

You have to choose your battles sometimes...and PSing is really not that important compared to the man you pledged your life to.
Click to expand...


Word, Werd Up, That, and ahhh Hellooo :yep:

We are talking about HAIR and not giving up a Kidney right:think:

Just My opinion...Not knocking anyone's will and will nots...Just don't get it is all
 
Maybe I'm wrong, cause I'm not married, but if I were I'd still keep doing what I wanted to with MY hair. It's a difference if what I was doing was affecting the both of us (like finance stuff that you must compromise on, or other stuff). He may not like your protective styles...but he loves the results.

I don't like going to the treadmill but I love the results. Some things are worth it. In a year or two, when he sees the END result, he'll be over joyed that you kept to your position. I'm sure then you'll do half protection and half out styles that will keep him happy. Plus he'll be so dumbfounded he will shut up because the proof is in the pudding. It's not like it'll end your marriage if you wear protective styles, right? If you stop your protective styles, you will slow your progress (I've noticed it takes longer to get where I want when I'm not braided up. And as I cut my hair last year to even out the layers...a HUGE amount, I decided to just braided up for the whole year, and guess what? I'm going to be where I want in August which I think my SO will appreciate. When I'm full waist length I'm sure he'll let go of the past year so who cares? Time passes fast)
 
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I NEVER SAID THAT HE WOULD LEAVE.

I said "STRAIN". That could be arguing, him not finding you attractive, etc.... DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH.

it_comes_naturally said:
Call me stubborn (and I tend to be), but if my DH wants to leave b/c I'm doing what I need to do for my hair (PS), then I say to him......Goodbye.
Click to expand...
 
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