Hi. Hopefully I can help. Thanks for the tag Nonie. So I'm always in braids (lately) or if not, I've started back keeping my hair protective styled via weave (so that I can have more style). If you look at my siggie (or myhair album..) then you'll see that I have managed to keep my hair from NOT being damaged while in braids (from the progress results which are my own hair)
That doesn't mean I haven't had a mat it means I know how to deal with them.
DROP the comb and step away until you have the right tools. I agree conditioner and oil are helpful but you could use a ton of hair that way (more if you don't use them) especially if you have an especially tricky tangle. I reserve oil and condish for a basic tangle (not a mess that looks dreadish). There are a couple of products (one at your local walgreens/cvs) and another which can be delivered online via amazon in a day that help me immensely (the tangels unravel on their own with these products).
I use this combined with this:
and
The last one I found out about on lhcf and is for horses, but they say can be used on people as well. So you might be able to find it at walmart or a petstore
I know I know but really this stuff is amazing. IF you slather it on a dread and rub it in, wait a minute, it will start unraveling when you touch it again. Then you slather more as you go.
If you don't have that...or it doesn't work the Just for me brand is my second line of defense. I
always have it on my shelf..
always. For you I'd buy two bottles just in case, and spray vigourously (I've even took off the spray nozzle and poured some directly on the area with tangles lol and waited a minute before tackling it). It's really the best detangler I've found besides cowboy and it is in your local kids section of any hair, or walgreens, cvs store.
now that you have the right products and you've saturated your hair (and waited a couple minutes) you can pick up the comb again. You may lose a little hair but nothing like what you're doing now.
HTH
I implore you to at least get the just for me and you'll see it works a lot better than condish and oil. IDK why but it's really a god send if you want to save your hair.