dont you get tired of explaining our hair to ppl

K

krissynick

New Member
hey guys

have u ever felt frustrated with explaining our hair to others. I mean i dont mind but sometimes i get sad cause its so difficult to explain.. like its hard to explain that our hair is really tightly curly and we dont wash it everyday.. some ppl thinks its digusting andthats messed up cause it makes it seem we dirty or something which is not true. my indian friend said she really never seen a black person with hair down to their butt... i told her there are some out there but is it wrong to think that our hair is not suppose to grow that long. I mean i konw our hair can grow long........... cause my hair was almost bra strap. but like mayb eour hair is just meant to go to a certain lenght and stop.. not saying it cant be long.. Also like i like our hair but i personally dont think i can wear the styles i want with my natural texture... tahts why i relax not that i hate my hair but when i was younger my hair was just so big and thick and its was nice but what could i possibley due with it but just a ponytail... i can not walk around with an afro it was really huge........like really big... i mean i can braid but i dont like braids... and cause my hair gets so big i feel the need to put some heat on it to make it easeir to manage.. but doesnt it hurt you sometimes when other races talk about our hair like we go through so much but we cannot help the hair we got... god gave it to us and we gotta be proud and deal with it but... sometimes i wish i could just wahs my hair and not have to do anythign with it.. even if i was natural... i would have to do some type of taming cause my fro was so big.... but guys tell me ur thoughts?
 
ITA....When people ask...I just sigh. I wish I had a pamphlet I could just hand out to people. Like when I was in elementry school, people couldn't understand why I couldn't get my hair wet (when it was pressed). And like you said, they think its disgusting that some of us don't wash our hair everyday....then you got to explain the oil and dryness of frequent washes....its frustrating.:wallbash:
 
not really. i usually ask them questions back and act just as ignorant, just so they can see what it's like. :look: i'm such a bad person... :lachen:
 
I get tired of explaining why I dont wear my hair straight and down every day.
I get tired of people saying my bun is me not doing my hair.
I get tired of people saying that my wash and go is not "Done" hair.
Why does it have to be straight? Why does it have to be done?
Why cant I rock a bun in peace?
 
ladylibra said:
not really. i usually ask them questions back and act just as ignorant, just so they can see what it's like. :look: i'm such a bad person... :lachen:
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Basically. When "Becky and them" wanna make smart comments I just ask "well if you wash your hair everyday why do you still have sooo much dandruff?" :look: They just give me this :blush: look.
 
I AM SO TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT MY HAIR AND WHAT I DO TO IT. PPL ARE JUST SO IGNORANT ABOUT BLACK WOMENS HAIR. ITS ANNOYING.
 
missty1029 said:
I get tired of explaining why I dont wear my hair straight and down every day.
I get tired of people saying my bun is me not doing my hair.
I get tired of people saying that my wash and go is not "Done" hair.
Why does it have to be straight? Why does it have to be done?
Why cant I rock a bun in peace?
Click to expand...

AMEN! ...and most of the time I'm explaining the same situation or my choice to wear my hair naturally big & poofy and down right sexy (to me) to other Black folk!
 
missfadu said:
lol, or "why does your hair look like the fur of a wet dog?"
Click to expand...

:lachen:...or when Shaquetta and nem' say dumb stuff like "black people souldnt wash they hurr that often" i then ask them why their hair looks like a chewed up carpet? :look:
 
krissynick said:
hey guys

have u ever felt frustrated with explaining our hair to others. I mean i dont mind but sometimes i get sad cause its so difficult to explain.. like its hard to explain that our hair is really tightly curly and we dont wash it everyday.. some ppl thinks its digusting andthats messed up cause it makes it seem we dirty or something which is not true. my indian friend said she really never seen a black person with hair down to their butt... i told her there are some out there but is it wrong to think that our hair is not suppose to grow that long. I mean i konw our hair can grow long........... cause my hair was almost bra strap. but like mayb eour hair is just meant to go to a certain lenght and stop.. not saying it cant be long.. Also like i like our hair but i personally dont think i can wear the styles i want with my natural texture... tahts why i relax not that i hate my hair but when i was younger my hair was just so big and thick and its was nice but what could i possibley due with it but just a ponytail... i can not walk around with an afro it was really huge........like really big... i mean i can braid but i dont like braids... and cause my hair gets so big i feel the need to put some heat on it to make it easeir to manage.. but doesnt it hurt you sometimes when other races talk about our hair like we go through so much but we cannot help the hair we got... god gave it to us and we gotta be proud and deal with it but... sometimes i wish i could just wahs my hair and not have to do anythign with it.. even if i was natural... i would have to do some type of taming cause my fro was so big.... but guys tell me ur thoughts?
Click to expand...

THere's a lot of black girls that do wash it everyday with success (especially the ones that work out everyday). I used to wash it every other day now I pretty much condish wash every other day. :rolleyes:

But anyway, I guess whats more annoying is when other black folks are the non believers about our ability to grow long hair. It's like, others think we cant have long hair, but they're ignorant to the fact, but black folks are just as bad and sometimes worse. And the criticizing sometimes get outta hand. I hear a lot of crap... from sistas if I wanna just wear my hear in a braid out. Some of them (at least around here) ridicule natural hair and I just don't get that. I just like the look of my hair in styles other than straight. I love the big fros and the wash and gos. I love bantu knots. I think that stuff is nice and there's alot of folks that appreciate styles other than straight as well. I think once more people start learning how to properly care for their hair, other races will be believers. I love our hair. Its beautiful and versatile. Other races try and mimic our hair. White girls with the braids and beads and so on. No one does it like us if you ask me. We were blessed to have hair that can do just about anything. Yeah we gotta work a little harder at it, but usually things that matter do come with a little hard work. I don't really bother explaining too much to the other races about our hair. I look at them stupid if they mention that they didn't know black hair could grow that long. That usually nips it in the bud.
 
cocoaluv said:
Basically. When "Becky and them" wanna make smart comments I just ask "well if you wash your hair everyday why do you still have sooo much dandruff?" :look: They just give me this :blush: look.
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen: You're not serious!
missfadu said:
lol, or "why does your hair look like the fur of a wet dog?"
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen: Ok, I KNOW you don't say that! LOL. Wet dog= white people insult. LOL.
ebonybelle said:
:lachen:...or when Shaquetta and nem' say dumb stuff like "black people souldnt wash they hurr that often" i then ask them why their hair looks like a chewed up carpet? :look:
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen: And the ones who question always have this kind of hair. Don't they think if what they were doing was working it would look better?

And to answer O.P...yes, it gets really annoying. Annoying having to explain to other races what we do and annoying explaining to my OWN race why what we do sometimes isn't the BEST thing to do (PINK OIL ANYONE) and why a change is in order.
~*Janelle~*
 
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It sounds like some of you have time and patience. I have neither, so don't explain anything to anyone, except on the board of course..
 
I walk around with a big afro all the time, people actually adore it and tell me how beautiful and gorgeous my hair is... there's nothing wrong with big thick natural hair...

Anyway, I don't really get frusterated when explaining my hair to people (mostly black women with relaxed hair). I get questions on a weekly basis. I think the curiosity is unique and exciting in a way because so many people do not know what most black women's hair looks like without chemicals and weaves. Black women get really amazed when I wear two shrunken puffs and then stretch out a piece of hair to show them how long it really is...some people have asked to touch my hair and they are amazed at how soft it is...they can't believe it.
 
I think Oprah (or anybody) should to a damn show or something on this!
I know oprah be reaching a lot of non- black folks and that would really help these ppl help themselves.. bc if I have to explain one more time - it might be because I hit somebody
 
missty1029 said:
I get tired of explaining why I dont wear my hair straight and down every day.
I get tired of people saying my bun is me not doing my hair.
I get tired of people saying that my wash and go is not "Done" hair.
Why does it have to be straight? Why does it have to be done?
Why cant I rock a bun in peace?
Click to expand...

Uggh! I get the same questions too - and most of them are from Black folks! Hell, I don't want to get my hair "done" every week so it can get burnt up and fried by some stylist, no thank you. I really don't care to do it myself either. A bun, chignon, twist, braid, or curly is done- it's not like I just roll out of bed looking like a hobo off the street and don't bother to do anything.


Most of the statements I get from whites are somewhere along the lines of . . ."Wow, I've never seen a black person with hair that long" to which I usually reply with "Wow, good for you" and I go on about my business.


I do my best to explain to the people who want to educate themselves and I don't try with the ones who don't. I can't be bothered by others stupidity. :nono:
 
Babydall818 said:
I think Oprah (or anybody) should to a damn show or something on this!
I know oprah be reaching a lot of non- black folks and that would really help these ppl help themselves.. bc if I have to explain one more time - it might be because I hit somebody
Click to expand...


I don't want to see Oprah or Tyra do a show on hair, because the whole show they would be up there talking about "Girl, my napps" or "Lawd, my weave" or "My God, you white women don't understand how hard we have it", because frankly I don't want to either of them to get up there and talk about the "sad plight" of black hair and I don't think that most of their core (white) audience would even care- my texture is beautiful, my mother's texture is beautiful, and my grandmother's texture is beautiful and there is nothing sad or hard about it. The only sad plight of black hair is the misinformation in our own community and the fact that Tyra has everyone up here thinking we all wear weaves. And if some woman ever came up to me talking about she feels for me because she know that "black" hair is so difficult because she saw it on Oprah- I would fly my happy little black a$$ out to Chicago to slap Ms. Harpo my damn self. :wallbash:
 
I work with mostly white men, so I'm constantly explaining to them why I don't wear my hair down, why I put on my satin scarf before I put on my knitted cap, why I have my silk scarf on when I'm going to bed...and I love explaining the relaxer to them...they are learning so much about black women from me. Now when its super windy outside they tell me Tash you might want to put something on your head before you go out to the jet...and they are soo serious about it!:lol:
 
almondjoi85 said:
I AM SO TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT MY HAIR AND WHAT I DO TO IT. PPL ARE JUST SO IGNORANT ABOUT BLACK WOMENS HAIR. ITS ANNOYING.
Click to expand...

True but shoot some of us are ignorant about our own hair.

I went to the salon today and she asked what grease I used I wanted to tell her I don't use grease it doesn't mosturize but I was like never mind....

I've heard the most ignorant things from our own people about our hair. I don't even bother talking about hair to people anymore. I just dont have petience for the ignorance.

When I was in high school, I got braids and my asian friend couldn't understand how they were done, and she kept asking when i was gonna take it out. I just got frustrated.
 
Starr1 said:
I don't want to see Oprah or Tyra do a show on hair, because the whole show they would be up there talking about "Girl, my napps" or "Lawd, my weave" or "My God, you white women don't understand how hard we have it", because frankly I don't want to either of them to get up there and talk about the "sad plight" of black hair and I don't think that most of their core (white) audience would even care- my texture is beautiful, my mother's texture is beautiful, and my grandmother's texture is beautiful and there is nothing sad or hard about it. The only sad plight of black hair is the misinformation in our own community and the fact that Tyra has everyone up here thinking we all wear weaves. And if some woman ever came up to me talking about she feels for me because she know that "black" hair is so difficult because she saw it on Oprah- I would fly my happy little black a$$ out to Chicago to slap Ms. Harpo my damn self. :wallbash:
Click to expand...
Thank you!! You ain't spoke nothin' but the truth!!
 
AvaSpeaks said:
I get tired of explaning our hair to OUR own people. Let alone other people :boxing:
Click to expand...


OK!! WE are the ones that are the most ignorant about our hair.

To answer the original question, yes, I do get tired of explaining. That's whay I just don't do it anymore.
 
It definately depends on the way the question is asked. I guess it goes with everything, not just our hair. You can tell if a person is asking out of pure interest or just to be an a**hole.
 
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I talk to the different hair textures all the time. Most of them have the same issue we do they just don't know what to do, I mean we all weren't born with the knowledge of how to take care of our hair, we were taught most of us wrong and them too. I cowash my hair everyday its not a problem for me. I would have years ago but didn't know any better. They wash everyday because they were told too. But their hair does get dried out and damage and they go and get a major "trim" and hate it but is never told what to do about it. I advice these people how to take better care of their hair. LIke most don't condition- they think its in unneccessary step. Its crucial. I get that look that I can never grow my hair to waist length but they all can't either. I mean we see most can but there are hundreds that can't and wish they could. I think its insulting for someone to say to me I can't do this or that to my hair especially since they can't possibily know what my hair can do. But I do understand why. We judge them based on what we have seen and they do the same. So what I do is ask them the same questions about their hair and actually I get some that really dont know why this or that is happening to them and By Golly I can actually tell them why and help them fix it.
 
Poohbear said:
I walk around with a big afro all the time, people actually adore it and tell me how beautiful and gorgeous my hair is... there's nothing wrong with big thick natural hair...

Anyway, I don't really get frusterated when explaining my hair to people (mostly black women with relaxed hair). I get questions on a weekly basis. I think the curiosity is unique and exciting in a way because so many people do not know what most black women's hair looks like without chemicals and weaves. Black women get really amazed when I wear two shrunken puffs and then stretch out a piece of hair to show them how long it really is...some people have asked to touch my hair and they are amazed at how soft it is...they can't believe it.
Click to expand...

You know, I think that's because other people expect the Afro when it comes to our hair. They don't know how we do it, but that is one style that "other" people know we can do. And we have done it for so long that it really doesn't surprise them anymore.

The trick is like you said, when they see how soft it is or when we do styles like twistouts or braidouts. Or when they see the different types of textures in our hair. Or even when they do see us with long hair. That's when the stupid questions start.

Stupid questions start when other people don't know or understand our secrets. I say, good for them, they don't need to know our secrets anyway :boxing:
 
Starr1 said:
I don't want to see Oprah or Tyra do a show on hair, because the whole show they would be up there talking about "Girl, my napps" or "Lawd, my weave" or "My God, you white women don't understand how hard we have it", because frankly I don't want to either of them to get up there and talk about the "sad plight" of black hair and I don't think that most of their core (white) audience would even care- my texture is beautiful, my mother's texture is beautiful, and my grandmother's texture is beautiful and there is nothing sad or hard about it. The only sad plight of black hair is the misinformation in our own community and the fact that Tyra has everyone up here thinking we all wear weaves. And if some woman ever came up to me talking about she feels for me because she know that "black" hair is so difficult because she saw it on Oprah- I would fly my happy little black a$$ out to Chicago to slap Ms. Harpo my damn self. :wallbash:
Click to expand...

AMEN!!!! WELL SAID.
 
No one really ask me about our hair; only when it pertains to length.

There is a popular myth that African American hair will not grow. That's why it’s prevalent to see beauty supply stores in African American neighborhoods saturated with floor to ceiling, wall to wall hair weaves, extensions, wigs, etc., especially in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. The majority of their customers are African Americans, so what else are they suppose to believe? We as a whole were never taught how to take care of our hair. Thank God for hair salons, because my hair would never receive compliments from friends, workmates, relatives and strangers.

My stylist doesn’t recommend daily washing for African Americans. :nono: He feels that once a week is fine, though, because he said years ago: “Our hair is too fragile, and it is the weakest of all nationalities. African American women as a whole don’t know how to take care of their hair.” Incidentally, his customers have the longest hair than any of the other customers in the salon. :clap:

The Asians that I work with and the ones in my beauty salon know that some of us don't need to add hair to our head to make it long. They are astonished to see our hair gradually grow to bra clasp or waist length. I have even had my hair washed and detangled by my Vietnamese manicurist several times when my stylist gets backed up. So some of them know, but even Whites say the same thing: “African American hair just don’t grow.” This is what they were taught.

Some African American women don’t want to work with their hair. They want it to be black, straight and shiny like Asians hair, so they demand their stylist that it’s dyed jet black and pressed extremely hard. It started falling out in clots. Then they want to be really creative with their hair, and their hair cannot handle the daily abuse, because it’s fragile. As I told my coworker: “We have to work with our hair, not work against it, and that’s where the problem lies.” :naughty: Then they turn to wigs, weaves (which my stylist says that’s not good for the hair in the long run), braids, dyed, perm, etc. I’ve seen it all with my coworker.

She’s been obsessed with her hair all her life, and when all the weaves, braids, etc., are removed, her stylist has to cut her real hair short because of the abuse her hair has suffered. She’s always asking me questions about my hair even before I stumbled across the Wanakee Verifen Complex products.

When I learned about Wanakee’s regimen, I let her copy the brochure, and she’s seen the products shipped into the office. In fact, she brings the boxes to me, and I showed the items to her--but she’s going to do what she wants to do, because as she says: “But I want my hair to be this way or that way,” so what else can I say? Nothing much. :perplexed:
 
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First, I think a lot of articulate and intelligent comments were made on this post. As someone else stated a large afro or puff can be beautiful and I'm always happy when I see a black woman rocking her natural hair. That said, I think that natural hair isn't for everyone. In some professions it's hard to deal with particularly with larger afro's because at least in my industry and depending on your specialty there is a need for contained/restrained hair for the sake of sterility. But boy I wish I could be natural sometimes - I've seen such beautiful hair on these boards and out on the streets from natural hair.

I also find that recently I just have nothing to say to people when it comes to my hair because I always receive tons of ignorant comments. From every single person that asks because they really one to know there are always ten that ask to be nasty or because they think I'm doing something wrong with my hair. I do not "thank god for my stylist" either :nono:. In my experience it has often been stylists that have lead me astray or done things to get my hair to "look good" but not feel good or be healthy. For instance the last time I went to my stylist to cut my hair b/c it was damaged and I wanted to start fresh and take control of it. She relaxed it and cut it - then commented on how damaged it was (this is pre LHCF) then she proceed to tell me my hair was very thin and I would probably benefit from dying it so that it would "look" thicker :wallbash:. If someone's hair is damaged the last thing they should be thinking about it permanently dying it for the sake of the appearance of thickness - sheez! African American hair is NOT to fragile to be washed everyday after all we have seen countless women on these boards with long beautiful hair doing just this everyday. If one more person tells me not to wash my hair everyday or as frequently....:bah::Devil: and the sad truth is it is mostly my own people that have given me the most ignorant comments. Although just the other day I had one Asian girl ask me how my wig doesn't just FALL OFF :fishslap:. I'm really over it. I'm not explaining my regimen or hair care to anyone who isn't on these boards because frankly since I've started all I have received are pessimistic comments directed at criticizing what I do. However, I also believe this has a lot to do with starting out with short hair. Seeing is believing to so many people....so why even take the time to explain when I know they don't really want to listen.
 
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