My Dating Resolutions

brownsugarflyygirl · Sep 13, 2006

This is related to my thread "The Trials and Triumphs of Being Single".....I have a new resolve about my singleness so to help me along the way I decide to make some Dating Resolutions...so here they are:

I may need your help....so please encourage me and hold me accountable...

1) I will not date for the next year - or until God gives me permission to enter a courtship

2) I will not have fake-boyfriends or light weight "cake"*

*It sounds funny but its real..Im talking about those guys that you know wont tempt you sexually so you call them to watch a movie when you just want to be held :ohwell:

or that guy that likes you but you dont like...but when you are feeling down...you call them and they give you emotional reassurance because they will say you are beautiful or valuable...yep I am calling myself out! :grin:

Stopping those bad habits...my cheat sheet of singleness! Shame on me...Im telling all my business....

3) I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I would prefer to spend time with God over any other person and that He is truly always first in my life.

4) I will learn how to guard and protect my heart (suggestions welcome..)

5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase :lachen:

not my time or my emotions...

6) I will guard my eye and ear gate by not allowing what I see or hear to reflect my resolve in this area

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

8) I will share my experiences, be open and honest, and try to help others who struggle in this area as well

My Prayer: Lord help me to know the truth of what you want for me...help me to flexible where you need me to and rigid where its appropriate I have never been in this place before so I am only trying to do what is in line with your word and what you have planned for my life. I need your help, guidance and wisdom. It is my desire to be
married one day but I want to do it in the way that you see fit and aligns with fulfilling your call for my life.
Continue to bring people in my life who will help me along the way. I know that sex, dating, marriage, and relationships are one of the primary things that cause men and women to fall of the track that you
have placed them on. Help me to avoid that pit. Give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment that I may please you and live a life that makes you smile. I want to be a woman after your own
heart God. Help me...each and every day so that in all things I have your stamp of approval. I pray these things in your name Jesus. Amen.

Feel free to join me in my resolutions, modify or add your own!! These are mine based on my experiences, trials, and slip-ups. These are my personal convinctions and what I have learned is best for me.

Any input or advice to help me stick to my resolutions are welcome and appreciated!

Love yall

Shimmie · Sep 13, 2006

brownsugarflyygirl said:
This is related to my thread "The Trials and Triumphs of Being Single".....I have a new resolve about my singleness so to help me along the way I decide to make some Dating Resolutions...so here they are:

I may need your help....so please encourage me and hold me accountable...

1) I will not date for the next year - or until God gives me permission to enter a courtship

2) I will not have fake-boyfriends or light weight "cake"*

*It sounds funny but its real..Im talking about those guys that you know wont tempt you sexually so you call them to watch a movie when you just want to be held or that guy that likes you but you dont like...but when you are feeling down...you call them and they give you emotional reassurance because they will say you are beautiful or valuable...yep I am calling myself out! Stopping those bad habits...my cheat sheet of singleness! Shame on me...Im telling all my business....

3) I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I would prefer to spend time with God over any other person and that He is truly always first in my life.

4) I will learn how to guard and protect my heart (suggestions welcome..)

5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase not my time or my emotions...

6) I will guard my eye and ear gate by not allowing what I see or hear to reflect my resolve in this area

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

8) I will share my experiences, be open and honest, and try to help others who struggle in this area as well

My Prayer: Lord help me to know the truth of what you want for me...help me to flexible where you need me to and rigid where its appropriate I have never been in this place before so I am only trying to do what is in line with your word and what you have planned for my life. I need your help, guidance and wisdom. It is my desire to be
married one day but I want to do it in the way that you see fit and aligns with fulfilling your call for my life.
Continue to bring people in my life who will help me along the way. I know that sex, dating, marriage, and relationships are one of the primary things that cause men and women to fall of the track that you
have placed them on. Help me to avoid that pit. Give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment that I may please you and live a life that makes you smile. I want to be a woman after your own
heart God. Help me...each and every day so that in all things I have your stamp of approval. I pray these things in your name Jesus. Amen.

Feel free to join me in my resolutions, modify or add your own!! These are mine based on my experiences, trials, and slip-ups. These are my personal convinctions and what I have learned is best for me.

Any input or advice to help me stick to my resolutions are welcome and appreciated!

Love yall

I have to give honor to whom honor is due. You are truly selling out to the Lord. This is pure ministry. It's not just for your life alone. You are truly one of God's Blueprints for purity and renewed life which is so needed in this day and time.

I've personally had it with persons who call themselves Christians and blatantly live for the devil. I know I'm 'venting' but it's not a personal vendetta against any individual. It's just that God has called us to live holy as He is holy. Don't call yourself a Christian and live the devil's lie. Too many are doing this and it's so disheartening.

Sex has literrally taken off as the other God in our lives. Yet God above, our one true God, is using your life and testimony (among many others) to bring it back to order...His.

I'm far from perfect, which is why I find your life so refreshing to my soul. My spirit sits well within your testimony.

You are a minister and soon the Lord will call you out for your official Ordination. For you must go out and spread this word to the loss and the forsaken. Mindsets must be changed and set free. This you are doing in a mighty, mighty way.

Don't you ever dare, hold back. Do not quench the Spirit of God who is flowing through. Just flow; do not fear error. For when you tilt to the 'flesh' God is there to catch you and stable you...that's His Covenant with you, to establish you and keep you going and He will.

Expect confrontations and oppostions. To be fearful or stagnant of them, no. But to be aware. For if we think this will be a path of rose petals sprinkled at our feet, we will be disappointed. For it is just at that time, when you've hit the very wall and obtacle, blinders of the enemy, is when you will be opposed. And often from those who say they love you; for the enemy loves to use our family and loved ones to make us 'hang back'.

This is when you do as Jesus did, he went away to pray. He took time to be with the Father and to be refilled with the Holy Spirit with the strength needed to push through. Be like Jesus, don't ever quit. Just stay with the flow of the Holy Spirit and make your mind and flesh submit.

For when you are threatened to be thrown over a cliff, then do just as Jesus did. He turned around and walked right through them. They could not throw Him over nor will anyone be able to do likewise to you.

I added this, from my heart. I'm giving to you, what's been given to me, in all my years of learning from some of the very best there is in the ministry of Jesus Christ. For I've seen much in my 24 years of ministry. I know many upstanding men and women of God as my mentors as well as my family in Christ Jesus. Take hold of the altar, upon which God sits and watches over you...His daughter...His vessel...His precious love...you.

Stay in the flow and as you grow, do not ever quit. Do not shut your mouth unless God says so. And you will know when it is Him putting you on hold.

For you, Angel:

"Let your love, God, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised;

Then I'll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word.

Don't ever deprive me of truth, not everâ€” your commandments are what I depend on.

Oh, I'll guard with my life what you've revealed to me, guard it now, guard it ever;

And I'll stride freely through wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom;

Then I'll tell the world what I find, speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed.

I cherish your commandmentsâ€”oh, how I love them!â€” relishing every fragment of your counsel." (Psalm 119:41-48)

******* *** *******

With all my heart... :kiss:

Sazzy4Evr · Sep 13, 2006

I will encourage and pray for you in your dating journey, as I know what you are going through. And I thank you for this post because I needed it too.

Be Blessed!

determined_to_grow · Sep 14, 2006

brownsugarflygirl- sista-friend you are preaching today!!!
as i read this thread i cant help but fight back the tears. everything that is in my mind and heart you are addressing. Thank you

brownsugarflyygirl said:
This is related to my thread "The Trials and Triumphs of Being Single".....I have a new resolve about my singleness so to help me along the way I decide to make some Dating Resolutions...so here they are:

I may need your help....so please encourage me and hold me accountable...

1) I will not date for the next year - or until God gives me permission to enter a courtship

2) I will not have fake-boyfriends or light weight "cake"*

*It sounds funny but its real..Im talking about those guys that you know wont tempt you sexually so you call them to watch a movie when you just want to be held or that guy that likes you but you dont like...but when you are feeling down...you call them and they give you emotional reassurance because they will say you are beautiful or valuable...yep I am calling myself out! Stopping those bad habits...my cheat sheet of singleness! Shame on me...Im telling all my business....

3) I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I would prefer to spend time with God over any other person and that He is truly always first in my life.

4) I will learn how to guard and protect my heart (suggestions welcome..)

5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase not my time or my emotions...

6) I will guard my eye and ear gate by not allowing what I see or hear to reflect my resolve in this area

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

8) I will share my experiences, be open and honest, and try to help others who struggle in this area as well

My Prayer: Lord help me to know the truth of what you want for me...help me to flexible where you need me to and rigid where its appropriate I have never been in this place before so I am only trying to do what is in line with your word and what you have planned for my life. I need your help, guidance and wisdom. It is my desire to be
married one day but I want to do it in the way that you see fit and aligns with fulfilling your call for my life.
Continue to bring people in my life who will help me along the way. I know that sex, dating, marriage, and relationships are one of the primary things that cause men and women to fall of the track that you
have placed them on. Help me to avoid that pit. Give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment that I may please you and live a life that makes you smile. I want to be a woman after your own
heart God. Help me...each and every day so that in all things I have your stamp of approval. I pray these things in your name Jesus. Amen.

Feel free to join me in my resolutions, modify or add your own!! These are mine based on my experiences, trials, and slip-ups. These are my personal convinctions and what I have learned is best for me.

Any input or advice to help me stick to my resolutions are welcome and appreciated!

Love yall

sithembile · Sep 14, 2006

That is so powerful and I pray that God truly blesses you and keeps you. You have encouraged me this morning as I've been feeling low concerning my struggles in this area. I pray for myself and for all the women of God in this forum that we will all be victorious and that we will glorify God with lives.

Choclatcotton · Sep 14, 2006

i also join in with you in that resolution as i have just met someone that SEEMS so nice and is giving me attention that i havent had in a while. And i hoppppe its not a trick of the enemy, to get me off this quest but it seems like we women are so vurnable to fall for someone emotionally. At least i can speak for myself. Seems like we soak it up like a sponge. What makes it worse is that this is an unsaved man with seemingly good morals and someone i would have never considered. I have invited him out to services and have prayed for him to get saved. He says he's single and unattached??? I have already made an emotional connection to him and i feel like im being cautiously pulled in his direction. So i might need to pray him out of my system. Its just hard to let a seemingly nice, considerate, helpful man go.

crlsweetie912 · Sep 14, 2006

WOW, thanks for sharing. You have helped more people than just yourself. We really have to keep ourselves completely pure so that God can do what he needs to do with our lives! I have been on my journey for almost 3 years, it's hard, but with Goda all things are possible!

ritzbitz78 · Sep 14, 2006

The Lord sees your commitment and sacrifice (well not really sacrifice, for sacrifice is giving something that is perfect and good) And let me tell you from experience, God always blesses obedience. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world! We have been married almost 11mon and waiting upon the Lord and obeying him is the most rewarding spiritually, mentally, and most definately in the physical relationship. My husband and I decided not to kiss (of course no premarital sex) when we were courting, and we constantly commited our relationship to God. I encourage you, I exhort you, that God asks us to do or obey and then provides the strength to do so. If you want to see wedding pictures go to www.maritzamckinney.spaces.live.com

Everyone longs to give themselves completly to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to the Christian says, " No not until you are satisfied and content with living, loved by me alone to have an intensely personal and unique relationship. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me - exclusive of any other desires or longing. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep that attitude knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait, don't be anxious and worry. Don't look around at what others have gotten or who I have given them. Don't look at the things or relationships you think you want. Just keep looking up to me or you will miss what I have to show you. When you are ready, I will suprise you with a love far more wonderful than you will ever dream. You see, until the one I have for you is ready, (I am working right this minute to have you both ready at the same time), and until you are both satisfied with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me - PERFECT LOVE. And my dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and enjoy materially and sincerely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you - MYSELF. I love you utterly, I am GOD ALMIGHTY, believe and be satisfied. (Author Unknown)

MindTwister · Sep 14, 2006

Be encouraged in your resolutions Brownsugaflygirl and may the Lord give you the strength to press on

My aunt sent this to me today by email and I think it's appropriate for such a post

Ever wake up and don't want to get out of bed?

Ever fall asleep wondering how you made it through another day?

Ever spend an evening alone thinking how you can be where you are today?

Ever wonder why the chic down the street acts like a tramp but is married and you're not?

Ever think about how someone else's child seems to be on the right path and yours acts like they have lost their mind?

Ever wonder why your finances are always messed up and you can never see light at the end of the tunnel?

Ever wonder why Ms Thang next door is so cute and fine and you have a hard time staying away from the table and keeping ten pounds off?

Ever think about why your husband seems to be the only one in your circle of friends that still hasn't gotten himself together?

Ever wonder why you're still single?

Ever wonder why the person you love doesn't love you back?

The answer all of these questions could have me writing for days. But, if any of these are you, the Holy Spirit sent me by this morning to give you some extra fuel.

You wake up and keep going because God has a plan for you (Jer 29:11).

You make it day by day because God ain't through with you yet. You're alone or single because God is doing some things in you. Don't get it twisted! It's not that he "just hasn't found you;" it's also because if he did find you, you wouldn't be ready! God is perfecting some things within you. Stop looking around thinking it's the other person.

Nope!

It's you! There may be something wrong with them, but before you hook up, God wants to get some things right with you!

So, stop looking around wondering why God seems to be passing out blessings, but for some reason He passed your door! God passed your door on purpose. Don't talk about other people's glory, cuz you don't know their story! You don't know why the tramp down the street is married.

You don't know how she got her man, and you don't know what she's going through to keep him! Remember, the bible says, the wealth of the wicked is laid up for the righteous! My brother, my sister, that's YOU! We are so quick to look at what God is doing in others. We have to learn to pay more attention to what God is doing in self. I know, it's hard...because the truth is, you think you have it all together. Youthink you're ok!

With a few adjustments, and you'll be ahead of your game! Think again...those few adjustments are just the areas that God needs to fix before He moves you forward.

Do the Godly things "in spite of" that disobedient child, and/or dishonorable husband, and watch them watch you as God fix the situation.

You are the change agent! As they see the change in you, they'll be inspired to move!

Fuel is what you need. Yes, you need fuel to be what God has you to be.

Well, did you stop by the fuel station? The church? That's where your main source of fuel comes from. If not, be not dismayed, God is so awesome, that He sent fuel right to your front door in the form of an email. He's awesome like that! He knew just what you'd need, when you need it! This is your fuel for today. Don't keep it to yourself, pass it on! Gas is high! Don't be stingy; God is getting ready to work.

Give this fuel in the form of action to you, then your children, husband, coworkers, whoever may need it! Pass it on! God gave it to you, so that you might give it to others. Go ahead, don't be afraid...remember, if He did it for you, He'll do it for us ALL!

Pass it on!

Shimmie · Sep 14, 2006

The Holy Spirit is truly moving in this thread...and throughout this entire forum and those who partake of this precious visitation of the Lord.

Praise Him! Praise Him! Praise Him! Glory to God All Mighty...

pebbles · Sep 15, 2006

What a beautiful thread! I am so happy about the work God is doing in the lives of the sisters on this forum, and there surely is a move of God on this board! Keep sharing, ladies. There are people, you would not expect, who are being blessed by these messages. :Rose:

brownsugarflyygirl · Sep 15, 2006

Thanks RitzBitz and MindTwister for the wonderful encouragement in those posts :kisses:

Shalita05...The Word of God admonishes us to speak the truth in love...so to my sister in Christ...please hear these words from my heart. I have been there where you are. A guy who has good morals and who genuinely cares about you and loves you....even who is interested in coming to church....BUT he had to go! It was hard and I cried and prayed...but in the end I had peace and joy. Why did he have to go? It was outside of God's perfect order. The man who is to be your husband will be your personal priest. If he is not as strong or stronger, as deep or deeper, in his walk with God than you are...he cant do that. A third grader cant instruct an eleventh grader on calculus....it just doesnt work. The same way that relationship wont work and you are setting yourself up for dissapointment if you continue to invest your emotions. You will end up settling and ultimately unfulfilled. That situation is not God's best for you. I am not saying that maybe in the future it may not work out, it could BUT right now HE AINT READY! So it is probably in your best interest to leave him alone as he grows in God...if he decides to pursue a relationship with God.

Ephesians 5 outlines how the marriage structure is supposed to go. 22Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.

23For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.
24As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.
25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,
27That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. 28Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.

If you have to be SUBJECT to that man in all things, then his foundation and point of view better be based in the WORD OF GOD not Morality...or you are headed for trouble. A man should HELP you be holy and live for God...He is supposed to sanctify her...there is no santification outside of the realm of God.

Shalita05...I encourage you to continue to seek God on this matter...ask Him to give you the strength and discernment on how you should act in this situation..Its tough girl...especially when we want that attention and affection and the world is screaming that there aint no good men....but be patient. God has HIS BEST out there for you...and His word gives us an outline of what to look for...so DONT SETTLE! Your Boaz is coming! And he is going to have a fine brother right along with him for me!! :grin:

AND WE CAN PRAISE GOD AND BE SANCTIFIED TOGETHER!

Be encouraged! Dont accept any counterfeits!

dicapr · Sep 17, 2006

Thank you for sharing. It has given me the courage to be single and embrace the blessing. I will spend this time in my life enjoying the blessings and the relationship that a single woman can have with the Lord and not live my life in mourning about the lack of a relationship with a man. I will also join you in your pledge to not give away my emotional support and care for someone who is not in a relationship with me. No more begging-love me, please.

MrsHouston · Sep 17, 2006

This is an awesome thread that you posted. I like your motivation girl. I am married now, but before I was, I decided to stop dating and only enter into courtships. One book that truly helped me in my endeavor was "Choosing God's Best". I still advise this book to my dear single friends today.

God has better things in store for Godly women and the world just can't understand.

In bible days, women didn't "date". Young men courted ladies. In fact, they "courted" the whole family. The father and mother "checked" out the guy and the guy spent time with the whole family...not going out alone with just the female. There are just some things a male (your father or another male spirtual leader in your life) will see in a potential suiter that you would not see, being a female.

I pray that the singles on this site would check out this book and read it. It changed the way I viewed relationships. It really blessed my life. Also it describes some of the potential pitfalls many women face...like what you mentioned about toxic relationships...

May the Lord bless all of you!

brownsugarflyygirl said:
This is related to my thread "The Trials and Triumphs of Being Single".....I have a new resolve about my singleness so to help me along the way I decide to make some Dating Resolutions...so here they are:

I may need your help....so please encourage me and hold me accountable...

1) I will not date for the next year - or until God gives me permission to enter a courtship

2) I will not have fake-boyfriends or light weight "cake"*

*It sounds funny but its real..Im talking about those guys that you know wont tempt you sexually so you call them to watch a movie when you just want to be held or that guy that likes you but you dont like...but when you are feeling down...you call them and they give you emotional reassurance because they will say you are beautiful or valuable...yep I am calling myself out! Stopping those bad habits...my cheat sheet of singleness! Shame on me...Im telling all my business....

3) I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I would prefer to spend time with God over any other person and that He is truly always first in my life.

4) I will learn how to guard and protect my heart (suggestions welcome..)

5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase not my time or my emotions...

6) I will guard my eye and ear gate by not allowing what I see or hear to reflect my resolve in this area

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

8) I will share my experiences, be open and honest, and try to help others who struggle in this area as well

My Prayer: Lord help me to know the truth of what you want for me...help me to flexible where you need me to and rigid where its appropriate I have never been in this place before so I am only trying to do what is in line with your word and what you have planned for my life. I need your help, guidance and wisdom. It is my desire to be
married one day but I want to do it in the way that you see fit and aligns with fulfilling your call for my life.
Continue to bring people in my life who will help me along the way. I know that sex, dating, marriage, and relationships are one of the primary things that cause men and women to fall of the track that you
have placed them on. Help me to avoid that pit. Give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment that I may please you and live a life that makes you smile. I want to be a woman after your own
heart God. Help me...each and every day so that in all things I have your stamp of approval. I pray these things in your name Jesus. Amen.

Feel free to join me in my resolutions, modify or add your own!! These are mine based on my experiences, trials, and slip-ups. These are my personal convinctions and what I have learned is best for me.

Any input or advice to help me stick to my resolutions are welcome and appreciated!

Love yall

CurliDiva · Sep 17, 2006

erplexed

brownsugarflyygirl said:
This is related to my thread "The Trials and Triumphs of Being Single".....I have a new resolve about my singleness so to help me along the way I decide to make some Dating Resolutions...so here they are:

I may need your help....so please encourage me and hold me accountable...

1) I will not date for the next year - or until God gives me permission to enter a courtship

2) I will not have fake-boyfriends or light weight "cake"*

*It sounds funny but its real..Im talking about those guys that you know wont tempt you sexually so you call them to watch a movie when you just want to be held orthat guy that likes you but you dont like...but when you are feeling down...you call them and they give you emotional reassurance because they will say you are beautiful or valuable...yep I am calling myself out! Stopping those bad habits...my cheat sheet of singleness! Shame on me...Im telling all my business....

3) I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I would prefer to spend time with God over any other person and that He is truly always first in my life.

4) I will learn how to guard and protect my heart (suggestions welcome..)

5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase not my time or my emotions...

6) I will guard my eye and ear gate by not allowing what I see or hear to reflect my resolve in this area

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

8) I will share my experiences, be open and honest, and try to help others who struggle in this area as well

My Prayer: Lord help me to know the truth of what you want for me...help me to flexible where you need me to and rigid where its appropriate I have never been in this place before so I am only trying to do what is in line with your word and what you have planned for my life. I need your help, guidance and wisdom. It is my desire to be
married one day but I want to do it in the way that you see fit and aligns with fulfilling your call for my life.
Continue to bring people in my life who will help me along the way. I know that sex, dating, marriage, and relationships are one of the primary things that cause men and women to fall of the track that you
have placed them on. Help me to avoid that pit. Give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment that I may please you and live a life that makes you smile. I want to be a woman after your own
heart God. Help me...each and every day so that in all things I have your stamp of approval. I pray these things in your name Jesus. Amen.

Feel free to join me in my resolutions, modify or add your own!! These are mine based on my experiences, trials, and slip-ups. These are my personal convinctions and what I have learned is best for me.

Any input or advice to help me stick to my resolutions are welcome and appreciated!

Love yall

Excellent post, brownsugarflyygirl!

As a single, I have done #5 BIG TIME!

Although I've never lived with a man - I have played "WIFEY" in every other way!

I've waited so much time trying to be a GOOD girlfriend, which has not prepared me to be a good wife and mother. After yet another encounter with a fake BOYfirend, I decided not to date.

Single girls: join me in getting rid of your stash of any "toys", books or movies that show highly sexualized themes.

Think about the company (girlfriends) you keep and the places that you go - will you really met your godly prince grinding on a dance floor or on hot-chocolate-love.com?

I have to admit that you will not be popular with your freinds when you no longer join in their HE-CHEATING-ON-ME-WITH-HER conversation/drama anymore.

Donâ€™t have â€œdatesâ€ alone at his or your place - someone coming over to â€œwatchâ€ a few movie at 10 pm will probably lead to a sleep over.

Also throw out any â€œprotectionâ€, you have at home just to be â€œprepared and safeâ€.

God is all the protection you need!

Supergirl · Sep 17, 2006

Brownsugar,

This is some good stuff girlfriend! You have kept it real and I LOVE the way you called yourself out, but whew so much of this applies to the masses. I remember these days very well. :yep:

This is great. I give you a big thumbs up. :up:

You will make a great wife. Your husband is going to be crazy about you! It's your godly attitude and your attitude of not just giving yourself away (I don't just mean physical either) that will make him want to win you over and then be super-happy when he does.

You go girl!

By the way, what you posted is really great ministry. You should be sure to share this with other singles--maybe even write a book...

cece22 · Sep 17, 2006

Thanks for this post i'm going through it to. I just can't believe so many men only want sex. I am holding out for mr. right not to say I haven't made some terrible mistakes along the way.

planodiva · Sep 18, 2006

Hey Hey...I have to chime in. I had questions about dating and reservations about "is this right" but I didn't want to bother us with my nonsense. But here I go.
I have met this wonderful man and we are strictly friends. We have been praying over each other and supporting one another. But he has been having strong urges for me and doesn't want to continue seeing me as a friend. I cried all weekend because we both have decided that we can't be anything since the sexual feeling are starting to arise. So I was praying for so long last night just asking God to speak to me about this relationship and my phone rings and its him. I didn't answer but the power of prayer had me shaking and shedding tears of joy. I don't exactly know what all this means but I will continue to pray that God stays in charge.

Brownsugar. Thank you girl and I'm on the path to righteousness right along side you.

rootdeep · Sep 20, 2006

I have to come into this forum more often. I REALLY needed to read this. I have made my own promises to God but have been playing emotional helpmeet to one person in particular that Ive been battling to let go of for months. I finally let go 2 weeks ago and when I say let go LET IT ALL GO....I asked for him to stop calling me with his problems. I let him know that there was no way that I would enter a relationship with anyone who isnt right for me and God and a ton of angels will have to come and let me know if its truly right for me. Okay Im babbling but THANK you ladies for this thread!

cocoberry10 · Sep 20, 2006

brownsugarflyygirl said:
This is related to my thread "The Trials and Triumphs of Being Single".....I have a new resolve about my singleness so to help me along the way I decide to make some Dating Resolutions...so here they are:

I may need your help....so please encourage me and hold me accountable...

1) I will not date for the next year - or until God gives me permission to enter a courtship

2) I will not have fake-boyfriends or light weight "cake"*

*It sounds funny but its real..Im talking about those guys that you know wont tempt you sexually so you call them to watch a movie when you just want to be held or that guy that likes you but you dont like...but when you are feeling down...you call them and they give you emotional reassurance because they will say you are beautiful or valuable...yep I am calling myself out! Stopping those bad habits...my cheat sheet of singleness! Shame on me...Im telling all my business....

3) I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I would prefer to spend time with God over any other person and that He is truly always first in my life.

4) I will learn how to guard and protect my heart (suggestions welcome..)

5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase not my time or my emotions...

6) I will guard my eye and ear gate by not allowing what I see or hear to reflect my resolve in this area

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

8) I will share my experiences, be open and honest, and try to help others who struggle in this area as well

My Prayer: Lord help me to know the truth of what you want for me...help me to flexible where you need me to and rigid where its appropriate I have never been in this place before so I am only trying to do what is in line with your word and what you have planned for my life. I need your help, guidance and wisdom. It is my desire to be
married one day but I want to do it in the way that you see fit and aligns with fulfilling your call for my life.
Continue to bring people in my life who will help me along the way. I know that sex, dating, marriage, and relationships are one of the primary things that cause men and women to fall of the track that you
have placed them on. Help me to avoid that pit. Give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment that I may please you and live a life that makes you smile. I want to be a woman after your own
heart God. Help me...each and every day so that in all things I have your stamp of approval. I pray these things in your name Jesus. Amen.

Feel free to join me in my resolutions, modify or add your own!! These are mine based on my experiences, trials, and slip-ups. These are my personal convinctions and what I have learned is best for me.

Any input or advice to help me stick to my resolutions are welcome and appreciated!

Love yall

This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo on point! Amen sister, Amen!

cocoberry10 · Sep 20, 2006

Oh yeah! I'm subscribing to this thread!

PoeticJustice · Oct 17, 2006

WOW this has been such a blessing to me. I don't even know how I almost missed this. Never mind, it was right on time, there is no such thing as coincidence.

Brownsugarflyygirl this has been such a blessing and God bless you for being obedient. This is something I need to work on heavily. I have been separated for a year now and will be getting a divorce but during this separation I've compromised my feelings and emotions for the convenience of affection. And to rid any feelings of loneliness, bitterness and sadness ASAP. But I've realized since then it's just not according to His will. I prayed last night and honestly asked the Lord for the will to only look to Him for love and to be at peace with that. I feel I've dug a deeper hole for myself because I am soon to be a divorced woman and entering into a [unhealthy] courtship while only separated.

So now I'm at the point where I need to be still and content and at peace with my current and future status as a single woman. And this declaration is just what I needed. This was right on time!

cocoberry10 · Oct 17, 2006

Justicewifey said:
WOW this has been such a blessing to me. I don't even know how I almost missed this. Never mind, it was right on time, there is no such thing as coincidence.

Brownsugarflyygirl this has been such a blessing and God bless you for being obedient. This is something I need to work on heavily. I have been separated for a year now and will be getting a divorce but during this separation I've compromised my feelings and emotions for the convenience of affection. And to rid any feelings of loneliness, bitterness and sadness ASAP. But I've realized since then it's just not according to His will. I prayed last night and honestly asked the Lord for the will to only look to Him for love and to be at peace with that. I feel I've dug a deeper hole for myself because I am soon to be a divorced woman and entering into a [unhealthy] courtship while only separated.

So now I'm at the point where I need to be still and content and at peace with my current and future status as a single woman. And this declaration is just what I needed. This was right on time!

God will bless you, because your heart is open to change and your heart is open to Him! Blessings.

YasmanSoBe · Oct 17, 2006

brownsugarflyygirl said:
5) I will not play "helpmeet" with someone* (lol...sad but true)

*This means that even though you may not be involved with someone sexually or romantically, giving them all the emotional support and encouragement that you would if you were..making sacrifices for that person...giving them special treatment...etc.
If there is no commitment involved they gets nothing from now on! No part of my milk will be free without the cow purchase not my time or my emotions...

7) I will not **taking deep breath** cuddle with any man that I am not in an express courtship with (Lord help me!)

Guilty as charged. :cool:

What an absolute blessing that I came upon this thread. Thank you, BSFG, for being honest and sharing with us. This is right on time for me. I too am struggling in this area big time, but I feel even more empowered and encouraged to live as God wants me to live. Just a few days ago, I wrote out a "things I will not do anymore list" :

1. Trip over "him" (him = the guy I see off and on; my emotions get the best of me everytime; I literally 'jump' whenever he comes around)

2. Play into his moods; I will not let his moods affect me. Just because he's having a bad day, doesn't mean I have to, too. I will remain calm and in control of my emotions and reactions.

3. Accept last minute invitations not matter how great the opportunity may seem.

4. Answer or make phone calls after 10 pm.

5. Encourage his sexually-laden language/behavior toward me.

Raspberry · Apr 5, 2009

** bump **

My Dating Resolutions

Well-Known Member

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"

New Member

New Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

New Member

New Member

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"

New Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

With Love & Silk

Active Member

New Member

New Member

New Member

New Member

Active Member

New Member

New Member

New Member

Similar threads