SIMPLICITY!

Ah many of you know much to my great disappointment and heartache my daughter the end of 2006 relaxed her hair behind my back! what a boooga! But then when I saw her hair was different , she avoided me and brushed me off when I asked her 'What did you do with your hair" untill I finally grilled her and she told me, after the shock I got to the details. Well long story short she got a hold of an old (thank god) Motions relaxer and put it all on her head and went to sleep with it

when I finally got in her head, I was dang near in tears at what I saw and felt, but with much work I fixed it. She cried in between the major sessions of fixing it! When she realized she might lose her hair and I couldnt guarantee she wouldnt or how much. She regretted it and has since been growing.

Transitioning would be the correct word here. I havent looked much at her hair all this time as the relaxer did thin it out and she really just doesnt want me up in it. She will almost run away to get away from me *The nerve* But ladies tonight I caught her doing her hair and it was all down, freshly done and loose, and I grabbed her and made her let me have a look see

now the relaxed hair is almost to her waist or far past mid back! But thin! but I got to see all that natural hair and its well into her pony tail! ohhh its so pretty and thick! I'm so happy! I told her I am gettin in that head in the next week or so and doing some good trimming since she has so much natural hair now

But the funny thing I was thinking, she never said a word about her hair, she just bunned it and I provided the oils and conditioners, and the usual vitamins and she just kept it moving without a word or complaint , she knew what her limitations were and what she couldnt do and what she was trying to get to, and stuck to it! and now we look up and its grown so much! wow! She is almost fully transitioned! simplicity, maybe there really isnt a million answers to find all the time except to just take care of it , give it time and keep it off your mind. Its always worked for me and now it just worked for her too!

I'm gonna post pics when I get in that head of hers!

ETA: The other thread here! geesh I should of known I wasnt gonna wait to get in that head once I SAW it! Should have waited to start this thread! But here is the other one with pics!
I Swear she has the worse case of hair anorexia I have ever seen. I had to show her how good her hair was doing. She was in tears because I wanted to mess with it *litteraly* She thinks its still doing so bad! Until I forced her to look at what I SEE! So after much begging, pleading , guilt and bribery The trauma is over and she is happy again! Me too! Geesh!

Her 18 month transition successful and without a hitch!

Pre trim/cut Stretched *almost to her waist*

Hosted on Fotki

and another!

Hosted on Fotki

After the trim! Her thick hair is back!!!!

Hosted on Fotki

The hair! BYE BYE!

Hosted on Fotki

ETA: these BEFORE pics, this was the last time I saw her hair out and had a good look at it since she relaxed it 18 months ago, this was after I worked hard to save it and had cut it (notice the top is bone straight it was very weak and hard and over processed &in the other pic her nape was already breaking off)

I already got in it

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=4955951#post4955951

I'd say I'm not at all jealous but I'd be lying.

RosesBlack said:

I'd say I'm not at all jealous but I'd be lying.

Click to expand...

awww why? what you mean? girl she was miserable with buns every single day ,day in day out it wasnt that easy! she just dealt with it cause she had to

I feel that pain I've been bunning since um, December I think.

Ooh but all that gorgeous hair. Gives me hope about bunning more.

*sigh*

I wish my mom took care of my hair (or at least taught me how) the same way as you with your daughter. But no... she had to slap a relaxer in my head when I was nine!!! And it went downhill after that because she didn't keep up the routine, so my natural hair and relaxed ends were having an all out battle. I know that if I didn't have a hair relaxer, I would probably be at butt length by now...

Oh well wishful thinking. I'm happy that you take care of your daughter's hair so well. I know she will appreciate it very much.

RosesBlack said:

I feel that pain I've been bunning since um, December I think.

Ooh but all that gorgeous hair. Gives me hope about bunning more.

Click to expand...

Yeah mama stick with it. Thats exactly why I had to force her to let me take pics! For anyone to be inspired to stick with it! She was like 'your showing my hair and its all jacked up and I dont want you to' , thats before she saw how good it looked after the trim! then she hushed and aint cared since!

seraphim712 said:

*sigh*

I wish my mom took care of my hair (or at least taught me how) the same way as you with your daughter. But no... she had to slap a relaxer in my head when I was nine!!! And it went downhill after that because she didn't keep up the routine, so my natural hair and relaxed ends were having an all out battle. I know that if I didn't have a hair relaxer, I would probably be at butt length by now...

Oh well wishful thinking. I'm happy that you take care of your daughter's hair so well. I know she will appreciate it very much.

Click to expand...

Girl I put so much time in that head of hers teaching her everything, step by step , she wasnt fully on her own in every area doing her hair until she was 16 and she finally could handle her thick natural head, but I didnt feel very appreciated for all that time I put in when she went and slapped that relaxer in her head all night long! oh god! I couldnt even believe it girl! it was like all that talking and time went out the window. But your right the seeds came back around when it was needed, she wont be doing that again!

mama aint stupid like she thought

ebzonix said:

I think I'm going to have to go that route. I mean I wont mind a little help from the growth aids, but healthy life habits and keeping your hair simply is always the way to go. Most people only grow their hair so they can wear it in a nice bun, at least that's my purpose.

Click to expand...

The Bun is your friend! Its one of the easiest styles there is! I transitioned way back when with a bun and braids and yes keeping it simple doesnt allow for many mistakes, so it just lets your hair do what its going to do!

Irresistible said:

Girl I put so much time in that head of hers teaching her everything, step by step , she wasnt fully on her own in every area doing her hair until she was 16 and she finally could handle her thick natural head, but I didnt feel very appreciated for all that time I put in when she went and slapped that relaxer in her head all night long! oh god! I couldnt even believe it girl! it was like all that talking and time went out the window. But your right the seeds came back around when it was needed, she wont be doing that again!

mama aint stupid like she thought

Click to expand...

Yes, children love to underestimate their parent's advice. I was guilty of doing that now and then and I learned my lesson.

I have a question, I would like to bun my hair up, do you think it's at the proper length to do so?

seraphim712 said:

Yes, children love to underestimate their parent's advice. I was guilty of doing that now and then and I learned my lesson.

I have a question, I would like to bun my hair up, do you think it's at the proper length to do so?

Click to expand...

You can definitely fit your hair in a bun! This was her length after she relaxed it and I worked on it to get it back and cut it, this is the last time I got a good look at her her til tonight(notice the whole top is bone straight thats where it was way over processed)


Your hair is pretty close to this!

Irresistible said:

You can definitely fit your hair in a bun! This was her length after she relaxed it and I worked on it to get it back and cut it, this is the last time I got a good look at her her til tonight(notice the whole top is bone straight thats where it was way over processed)


Your hair is pretty close to this!

Click to expand...

I'll give it a try then. My issue is retention, and I'm doing the best I can to keep my ends from tangling/breaking/snapping. I need to go get some more coconut oil.

seraphim712 said:

I'll give it a try then. My issue is retention, and I'm doing the best I can to keep my ends from tangling/breaking/snapping. I need to go get some more coconut oil.

Click to expand...

The way she does her bun (and they way I do mine) is the ponytail then twirl it and wrap it around and secure it with a scruchie, with oils and stuff on the ends , this way is very protective of the ends

Her hair is a lot like yours, gawjus

btw, you have an 18 year old daughter?!? Looking good mama!

Neith said:

Her hair is a lot like yours, gawjus

btw, you have an 18 year old daughter?!? Looking good mama!

Click to expand...

Thank you girl! She is about to be 19 this month! OMG!

and that's why i believe in the K.I.S.S. method... simple usually is best.

ladylibra said:

and that's why i believe in the K.I.S.S. method... simple usually is best.

Click to expand...

yes it really is! Right now she is just doing CW's with the cheapies , she has her IC she loves for Deep conditioning and right now only uses coconut oil after a rinse as her leave in. I cant even get her to use a leave in, she dont even want one. how much more simple does that get?

and now her hair actually outgrew the length it was pre relaxer . what a trip! But she stayed on top of it after that and in recent months her vitamins too

my appledumplin with her bun!


Hosted on Fotki

a pic from a couple/few years back-still looks the same pretty much

HER BUNS ARE BEAUTIFUL.
This was before the relaxer mishap, I need to look into getting her to use that moisturizer she was using back then. cause I just saw this again and it looks good!


Hosted on Fotki[

Funny I should see this thread just now! I just finished posting how I used to tell people who hated wearing buns that it's not so bad when you look forward to the day you reveal the hair and shock the masses. I am looking at that pony tail in the before pics, which looks OK to me, and comparing it with the most current one and I'm like "Dayumm, are y'all related to Chicoro?" She's definitely her mama's baby.

Congratulations to your daughter! I'm all "awww'd" about her being upset and not wanting you of the glorious mane up in her hair coz she felt it wasn't up to par. See what you do to people, Miss Thang? You and that gorgeous mane making everyone, including your baby, feel insecure and ish.

you and your daughter have beautiful hair sweetie!

Nonie said:

Funny I should see this thread just now! I just finished posting how I used to tell people who hated wearing buns that it's not so bad when you look forward to the day you reveal the hair and shock the masses. I am looking at that pony tail in the before pics, which looks OK to me, and comparing it with the most current one and I'm like "Dayumm, are y'all related to Chicoro?" She's definitely her mama's baby.

Congratulations to your daughter! I'm all "awww'd" about her being upset and not wanting you of the glorious mane up in her hair coz she felt it wasn't up to par. See what you do to people, Miss Thang? You and that gorgeous mane making everyone, including your baby, feel insecure and ish.

Click to expand...

aww thank you Nonie, its weird because her hair outgrew itself pre-relaxer trauma and I dont know what did it!? Ive been trying to figure that out since I saw it at her waist and cut it! your so silly Nonie but your right with her, she knew I was so hurt over the damage and so worried, she didnt know it was doing so much better though! now we both know! yay! it was a beautiful moment for reals!

I know its already been said, but I wish my mom knew hair like you when I was a kid. Well, one thing for sure is... I plan to be that mom with my daughters hair. I'll give them the freedom to explore but they will be taught good hair care! Both of you have beautiful hair and sometimes we have to experience things first hand to truely know. I'm sure she'll be back down to orginal length in no time, particular with keeping it simple.... which I an a huge fan of!! It works.

tishee said:

you and your daughter have beautiful hair sweetie!

Click to expand...

Aww thank you Tishee sweetie! , I really thought she might lose her whole front of her head of hair with this little escapade she pulled, I am so thankful her hair pulled through and amazingly is doing even better than before the mishap

[dang this post went through too many times

double post

deleted* browser was trippin and posted this numerous times

nichole21 said:

I know its already been said, but I wish my mom knew hair like you when I was a kid. Well, one thing for sure is... I plan to be that mom with my daughters hair. I'll give them the freedom to explore but they will be taught good hair care! Both of you have beautiful hair and sometimes we have to experience things first hand to truely know. I'm sure she'll be back down to orginal length in no time, particular with keeping it simple.... which I an a huge fan of!! It works.

Click to expand...

Thank you Nichole and thats so good your going to do that with your daughter! I always thought of it as very important and I dont regret any of it now! your right she had to step out to learn , and that she did! and this child really likes it simple and it really does work for her

Wow, beautiful! Well, your daughter sure learned a lesson! ALWAYS listen to mom when it comes to hair! Thank goodness you knew just what to do! Obviously, she's learned a lot from you, being smart and keeping it in a bun sure payed off.