Wrong Relationships....

[Laela]

Wrong Relationships
Written by Mary Whelchel
Monday, May 21, 2012

Relationships are really important to us, aren't they? I think of the many wonderful relationships in my life and how those people have shaped my character and strengthened my walk with the Lord. Thank God for those relationships.

There was a period in my life when I walked away from my commitment to Jesus Christ and during that ten-year desert experience, most of the influential relationships in my life were detrimental to my spiritual life.

We need to be very, very careful about our relationships, the people around us, the people close to us, the people we listen to and try to please, because those people have enormous impact and influence in our lives and if they're the wrong people, our walk with God will suffer.

The children of Israel are good examples of how wrong relationships can be harmful. God told them that they must not associate with the idolatrous people of the other nations, because if they did, they would start to practice their evil ways. In other words, you won't bring them up to your level; they'll bring you down to theirs. That's just what happened time and again. God's children would try to make friends with idolaters and every time they got in big trouble.

In Ezekiel 20 God says to his people, "You say, 'We want to be like the nations, like the peoples of the world, who serve wood and stone.'" They had surrounded themselves with the wrong people and gradually, little by little, they decided they wanted to be like their friends and associates.

Ask yourself: Do my relationships enhance my walk with God? Are there people I voluntarily spend significant time with who are influencing me to deny, or compromise, or walk away from my commitment to Jesus Christ?

Now, we know that God has not called us to be isolationists. Jesus set us an example of being a friend of sinners, but we must carefully guard ourselves against relationships that cause us to compromise or lower our standards.

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Your heart here refers to your mind, your attitudes, your opinions, your motivations. That would include everything and everyone that influences your heart and mind - guard it well, because it is the wellspring of your life - the source and supply of everything that happens in your life.

Guard it well.

 

[Laela]

Wrong Relationships
Written by Mary Whelchel
Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Do you have any relationships in your life right now that are wrong? When we harbor wrong relationships, we invite disaster into our lives. For example, I can think of a lot of friends of mine who made a wrong choice in their marriage partner and they would tell you that it has made their lives very difficult.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 we are told: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God."

That is a very clear biblical principle by which we make decisions about whom we are in partnership with, and marriage is certainly a partnership. The two shall become one, the Bible says, when two people get married. Therefore, it is extremely important that you never even consider marrying someone who is not a believer. You will not have the close, intimate marriage you desire. If you think you can win that person to the Lord after marriage, think again. It rarely happens that way.

A good friend of mine married a man over thirty years ago, and she knew he was not a believer, but she really thought that once they were married, she could influence him to accept Jesus. Over thirty years later she's still living with an unbeliever, and she forfeited the kind of marriage she really wanted because she disobeyed this clear biblical directive.

Now, for those of you who are already in that position, or perhaps you became a believer after marriage and your mate has not yet, don't ever give up hope and keep praying that your mate will accept the Lord. It can happen, and you can be an influence to bring that mate to Christ. Be sure that you don't allow your non-believing mate to cause you to compromise your commitment to Jesus.

To those of you in the "looking for a mate" category, there is a lot of discussion as to whether a Christian should date a non-Christian. You can argue that dating someone is not the same as being yoked with them, but it's step one toward it. You're not going to marry anyone you don't date, that's pretty certain. And quite frankly, I wouldn't run any risks in this area, because once you fall for someone, you will start rationalizing and justifying that relationship. Often single people have said to me, "Well, he doesn't believe just like I do, but he believes in God."

That's not enough, folks!

That person you marry needs to not only be born again, but share your commitment to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

 

[Laela]

Wrong Relationships
Written by Mary Whelchel
Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Did you know that the Bible has a lot to tell us about choosing our friends? Certainly we all are influenced by the circle of close friends we have around us. Does your circle of friends encourage your walk with God, or do they drag you down?

Proverbs 12:26 says: "A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." What does it mean to be cautious in friendship? Well, let me give you an example.

Suppose you have a co-worker who seems to really like you and wants to have lunch with you often, stops to talk with you frequently, and so forth. She is very friendly and pleasant, but you know pretty quickly that she is not a Believer, just by the way she talks and by her lifestyle. Nevertheless, she pursues a friendship with you, and instigates invitations for further time together.

You notice that when you're with her, she often tells off-color stories, or laughs about things that aren't exactly upright. She has a totally different set of moral values from you and what interests her is of little or no interest to you. In fact, you find that at best the conversation is frivolous and shallow. Perhaps you've tried on several occasions to talk about the Lord or about your faith, but it doesn't seem to get anywhere.

Is that a friendship you want to keep pursuing? I believe being cautious in friendship would mean to carefully and gently back away from spending time with this person, since you're not able to influence her, but are instead forced to listen to things either inappropriate or inconsequential. That is not an edifying relationship.

Proverbs 22:24-25 tells us: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared." That's pretty clear advice, isn't it? Someone who is not self-controlled, who is angry a lot, negative often, and quick-on-the-trigger is a person who will drag you down. Got any close friends like that? I think this biblical directive would say, "Back off."

Maybe you're thinking, "Mary, these people like that in my life are not friends, they're family members and I can't avoid them." It's true that avoiding family relationships is neither feasible nor desirable, but we still must be careful not to allow those relationships to drag us down spiritually.

 

[Shimmie]

Thank you Laela ... My morning and time with a good message.

I look forward to these.

 

[Laela]

YW, Shimmie...I love sharing her blogs.... is that green tea you're drinking? lol

 

[Laela]

Wrong Relationships
Written by Mary Whelchel
Thursday, May 24, 2012

As we have seen, the Bible gives us direct and clear guidance about selecting friends.

For example, in 1 Corinthians 5:11 Paul wrote: "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater, or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." Now, that's pretty strong guidance about relationships, wouldn't you agree.

Quite a few years ago I had a wonderful group of women meeting in my home weekly for Bible study and prayer, and we considered ourselves accountable to each other. At one point a new person started attending, and we were glad to have her. She finally told us that she was living with a man to whom she was not married. We gave her strong biblical advice to immediately break that relationship off, but she was not willing to do that.

Over a few weeks' time I noticed that her presence in our group was affecting our fellowship and our ability to pray like before. Finally one morning God clearly directed me-through this passage in 1 Corinthians 5 - to ask her to drop out of our Bible study until she was willing to obey the Lord.

I met with her privately, and as gently and lovingly as possible, explained from God's Word why she could no longer be a part of our group. She accepted it well, though she still refused to obey the Lord. That certainly wasn't pleasant, but it was the right thing to do. Since we weren't able to influence her to do the right thing, the only alternative was to keep her from doing harm to our group. We still remained friends with her, but we could not continue that kind of fellowship.

Is there someone in your life that is living immorally? Or is there someone who is greedy or dishonest? Maybe someone who slanders and gossips a lot, or is a drunkard? If you continue to associate with that person without pointing out the error, he or she will take that as approval on your part and the sin will not seem to that person so sinful. So, he or she will be less likely to want to change. You'll notice that your continued close association with them will start to affect your attitude toward sin, and will drag you down spiritually.

Remember what James wrote: "...Friendship with the world is hatred toward God. Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4). Don't let the enemy defeat you through wrong relationships.

 

[Laela]

Wrong Relationships
Written by Mary Whelchel
Friday, May 25, 2012


The friends you choose reflect and influence the person you are. There are two more relationships I want to mention.

Business partners are relationships very important to us, because when you are in business with a person, that person will inevitably have a very strong influence on you, just as a marriage partner does. We saw earlier this week from 2 Corinthians 6 that believers should not be yoked together with unbelievers, and when you have a legal or implied partnership with someone in business, that is being yoked together. That partner has the power and influence to make decisions and form business practices which could be quite unbiblical and unacceptable to a believer who intends to honor God in their business lives.

I don't believe this applies to co-workers, people we work with or for, but to those with whom we are in some kind of partnership. So, if you're in business with someone, or contemplating it, remember that if you choose the wrong partner, you will be inviting disaster to your business endeavor as well as your spiritual life.

Another relationship you need to be very cautious about is anyone you go to as a counselor. Whether that counselor is a casual acquaintance, good friend, a professional psychologist, or a spiritual leader, it is your responsibility to ensure that the counsel you receive is biblical and edifying. Just because someone has a degree of some sort, or has a position of importance or influence does not automatically mean that that person is qualified to be your counselor.

How do you know if you're with the right counselor or not? Well, there are many ways to tell, but certainly if a counselor gives you advice that is in any way unbiblical, you have chosen the wrong counselor. Much of what is accepted in psychology and psychiatry today is anti-biblical. Any counselor who leads you to be self-focused, to concentrate primarily on your past, to shift blame, and to be dependent upon them instead of the Lord, is not giving you good counsel. In Psalm 1 we read, "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked." Be careful from whom you seek counsel.

Remember the verse from Proverbs 12:26: "A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." It is so true that when we continue in wrong relationships, we are much more likely to go down to their level than we are to bring them up to our level.

So, please check out your relationships. They are having a significant impact in your life.