When is Relaxing every 6-8 weeks not considered damaging?

[LdyKamz]

I've been unhappy with my hair for a while because I have thin but coarse hair and my nape and crown area are the thinnest and the coarsest. I thought relaxers might not be helping so I started stretching. At first I noticed my nape and crown reacted very badly to that but figured it was a "get worse before it gets better" kind of thing. After these past few months my nape and crown were looking and feeling better. I've been paying careful attention to them and moisturize and seal twice a day the way I used to when I first started my hair journey. So I decided to just transition my nape and not relax that part anymore and see how that worked out.

Today I went for a touch up and since my normal salon was closed I went to a place I have been wanting to try since forever. The owner of the salon did me and I won't be going back. I asked her to not relax my nape area and do my crown last since I was having trouble there. She relaxed the nape anyway and didn't do the crown last. I spoke up and reminded her that I didn't want that. But it was already done. I was so upset and asked to be rinsed immediately. SHe listened to that but those few minutes got my nape bone straight and I'm afraid now. She asked me how long I stretched and when I told her she said she thinks that is too long. I should be touching up every 6 weeks because she thinks that is why I have trouble with these 2 areas. I know if you stretch too long you could get breakage but 6 weeks?! Isn't that asking for trouble relaxing that soon? I'm not sure what to do now. Should I transition this part of my hair or stop stretching and relax sooner. Any advice?

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I think relaxing sooner could lead to over lapping and over processing.

She should have honored your wishes and relaxed those areas last and not worked them in. (Just kinda allowed it to sit on there to relax the curl pattern) until it gets stronger.

I would have been upset too. When I relax usually now, every 10-14 weeks, I immediately begin thinking how/what to use to build my hair back up.

So, You should baby your hair. 1st wash post, I would re-neutralize (if you have some on hand) do a Protein Rx and begin rebuilding/strengthening your hair.

You should definitely be able to go longer than 6 weeks, because you are only touching up your NG.

The only time I T/U'ed every 5-6 weeks is when I was wearing a short style and she was cutting that hair off any way to maintain the style.

Keep your NG Moisturized and keep the line of Demarcation strong with regular protein treatments and gradually lengthen your stretch time.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

I can't answer because I don't even get NG at 6 to 8 weeks. Or should I say ENOUGH NG to even think about doing a TU. If I do it that early with little to no NG then I'll simply be re-relaxing my already relaxed hair. I would have to see your nape area I guess. Where is your siggie? Didn't you have one with hair down your back with a grey sports bra? I could be thinking about someone else. Or were you the one doing the side-by-side weight loss shots? I'm trying to remember what your hair looked like. LOL

 

[LdyKamz]

I think relaxing sooner could lead to over lapping and over processing.

She should have honored your wishes and relaxed those areas last and not worked them in. (Just kinda allowed it to sit on there to relax the curl pattern) until it gets stronger.

I would have been upset too. When I relax usually now, every 10-14 weeks, I immediately begin thinking how/what to use to build my hair back up.

So, You should baby your hair. 1st wash post, I would re-neutralize (if you have some on hand) do a Protein Rx and begin rebuilding/strengthening your hair.

You should definitely be able to go longer than 6 weeks, because you are only touching up your NG.

The only time I T/U'ed every 5-6 weeks is when I was wearing a short style and she was cutting that hair off any way to maintain the style.

Keep your NG Moisturized and keep the line of Demarcation strong with regular protein treatments and gradually lengthen your stretch time.

Thanks! I usually use Aphogee 2 min. weekly after a relaxer. I would use it once a week afte my shampoo and before my moisturizing deep condition. But then I started to wonder if that was damaging even though I co wash often and keep my moisture level up. How often do you think I should use protein? I just want to get these 2 areas back in shape. It is kind of annoying if I have to have a different regimen for these areas. but if that's what it takes I guess I have to.

Eta: Thanks for bumping that thread!

 

[LdyKamz]

I can't answer because I don't even get NG at 6 to 8 weeks. Or should I say ENOUGH NG to even think about doing a TU. If I do it that early with little to no NG then I'll simply be re-relaxing my already relaxed hair. I would have to see your nape area I guess. Where is your siggie? Didn't you have one with hair down your back with a grey sports bra? I could be thinking about someone else. Or were you the one doing the side-by-side weight loss shots? I'm trying to remember what your hair looked like. LOL

I think you are thinking of someone else. lol I've never put a siggy up before. I hardly ever post pics. The thing is I agree about not having enough NG at 6 weeks to touch up. I mean I have some and maybe my edges will be a little fuzzy. Nothing some edge control or Jam and a scarf won't take care of but that's about it. I don't think my nape area gets that much NG during that time either.

I think I'm going to play it by ear this go around. After the 6 weeks is up I'll see what my hair is doing and decide from there. I do know that - and I've said this before but, - I am going to start doing my own hair from now on. It seems none of them can follow simple instructions.

 

[OhmyKimB]

I've been unhappy with my hair for a while because I have thin but coarse hair and my nape and crown area are the thinnest and the coarsest. I thought relaxers might not be helping so I started stretching. At first I noticed my nape and crown reacted very badly to that but figured it was a "get worse before it gets better" kind of thing. After these past few months my nape and crown were looking and feeling better. I've been paying careful attention to them and moisturize and seal twice a day the way I used to when I first started my hair journey. So I decided to just transition my nape and not relax that part anymore and see how that worked out.

Today I went for a touch up and since my normal salon was closed I went to a place I have been wanting to try since forever. The owner of the salon did me and I won't be going back. I asked her to not relax my nape area and do my crown last since I was having trouble there. She relaxed the nape anyway and didn't do the crown last. I spoke up and reminded her that I didn't want that. But it was already done. I was so upset and asked to be rinsed immediately. SHe listened to that but those few minutes got my nape bone straight and I'm afraid now. She asked me how long I stretched and when I told her she said she thinks that is too long. I should be touching up every 6 weeks because she thinks that is why I have trouble with these 2 areas. I know if you stretch too long you could get breakage but 6 weeks?! Isn't that asking for trouble relaxing that soon? I'm not sure what to do now. Should I transition this part of my hair or stop stretching and relax sooner. Any advice?

I relax every eight. Although I go to the same person every time. Also she has a product she coats my hair with since I have color. She will not relax my hair every 6 and does not let me go past 12. Although we've tried lots of things so it's just what works best for me. I do think every six weeks is wayyyyyyy too soon. I feel like that is too much overlapping.

I remember once someone told me every two relaxs I needed to re-relax all of the hair on my ahead...just to keep it all straight. Seriously never went back.

 

[Evolving78]

i relax 8-10. i can't go past that. but i think 6 weeks if you have short hair, or you get 1/2 inch to an inch of new growth in that time frame. there are people that grow that much in a month.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

@KammyGirl

You are going to have to keep those 2 areas strong especially since you think she may have overprocessed it.

So, you might want to put your Protein Rx's on those 2 areas even if you don't apply it to the rest of your hair - if your hair overall doesn't need it.

I don't use Apoghee 2 minute, but I would spritz my Crown & Nape with it each wash day until you see improvement in those areas.

Since you already know you have Crown & Nape issues (right now) nursing those areas is critical. I would put my focus on those areas.

You also might want to visit the Crown, Edge & Nape thread for extra ideas.

 

[havilland]

First of all. Although I think every head is different, if your goal is to grow your hair, then there is no need to relax every 6 weeks.

Second of all, I would not even TRY To take the advice of a hair stylist that disrespected your wishes and applied a chemical to your hair when you specifically asked her not to! I wish I knew where she was so I could go over there and make her give you your money back.

You were doing the right thing by stretching.

If i were you, i would Follow the advice given in this thread, start reading up on self relaxing and caring for your own hair at home, park yourself here in LHCF and on YOUTUBE until you feel strong enough to start doing chemicals and trims for yourself, make it a rule to only follow people who have PROVEN RESULTS, and don't look back.

 

[geejay]

Second of all, I would not even TRY To take the advice of a hair stylist that disrespected your wishes and applied a chemical to your hair when you specifically asked her not to! I wish I knew where she was so I could go over there and make her give you your money back.

I felt this needed to be repeated. She lost all credibility when she ignored your instructions.

 

[LdyKamz]

i relax 8-10. i can't go past that. but i think 6 weeks if you have short hair, or you get 1/2 inch to an inch of new growth in that time frame. there are people that grow that much in a month.

8-10 actually sounds doable to me. That used to be my time frame. I would wait the 8 weeks, then the next time I did 9, then the time after that 10. It was when I got to 10 that I noticed my hair was a little harder to deal with and I upped the protein treatments to curb the shedding. I guess I should have listened to my hair. The most I have gone now is 13-14 weeks but maybe that is too much for me.

 

[LdyKamz]

@KammyGirl

You are going to have to keep those 2 areas strong especially since you think she may have overprocessed it.

So, you might want to put your Protein Rx's on those 2 areas even if you don't apply it to the rest of your hair - if your hair overall doesn't need it.

I don't use Apoghee 2 minute, but I would spritz my Crown & Nape with it each wash day until you see improvement in those areas.

Since you already know you have Crown & Nape issues (right now) nursing those areas is critical. I would put my focus on those areas.

You also might want to visit the Crown, Edge & Nape thread for extra ideas.

Do you think it would be a good idea to mix the 2 min in with a bit of conditoner (something I used for co washing, maybe some Suave) in a spray bottle and spritz and leave in? I normally just apply how I would apply the conditioner on wash day, let it sit and then rinse. But I'm wondering if I dillute it a bit and leave it in if it will work better.

Thanks, I'm going to visit that thread now.

 

[LdyKamz]

First of all. Although I think every head is different, if your goal is to grow your hair, then there is no need to relax every 6 weeks.

Second of all, I would not even TRY To take the advice of a hair stylist that disrespected your wishes and applied a chemical to your hair when you specifically asked her not to! I wish I knew where she was so I could go over there and make her give you your money back.

You were doing the right thing by stretching.

If i were you, i would Follow the advice given in this thread, start reading up on self relaxing and caring for your own hair at home, park yourself here in LHCF and on YOUTUBE until you feel strong enough to start doing chemicals and trims for yourself, make it a rule to only follow people who have PROVEN RESULTS, and don't look back.

To the bolded: You are exactly right! I was steaming mad! Because of that, I paid for my service, did NOT tip even though I had planned to since I was a walk in, they saw me right away and they were open the day after our "blizzard". But I'm never ever going back.

I have been reading up on self relaxing here for almost 6 months now and I am still too chicken to do it. I have to build my courage some more. I have already decided which technique I would use but I'm scared. As far as trims I used to be a scissor happy crazy person and cannot be trusted with scissors at all. But I guess I need to learn that too.

 

[havilland]

To the bolded: You are exactly right! I was steaming mad! Because of that, I paid for my service, did NOT tip even though I had planned to since I was a walk in, they saw me right away and they were open the day after our "blizzard". But I'm never ever going back.

I have been reading up on self relaxing here for almost 6 months now and I am still too chicken to do it. I have to build my courage some more. I have already decided which technique I would use but I'm scared. As far as trims I used to be a scissor happy crazy person and cannot be trusted with scissors at all. But I guess I need to learn that too.

Practice with conditioner first. Use a timer. Gloves. Protectant. Do EXACTLY what you would do if you were using relaxer.....and bonus - you will have a kick butt deep conditioning session.

Keep practicing every week until u feel comfortable.
When u do relax, add a tbsp of conditioner to the relaxer to slow it down some. AND use a milder strength relaxer than usual so that you can't over process. You can always correct later if u under process but you can't undo over processed hair.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

@KammyGirl

I am not familiar with the Apoghee 2 minute so I can't tell you how that would work. I'm not a Mixtress. I basically try to use products as intended.

After I washed or cowashed or before DC'ing, I'd just apply the 2 minute to my Crown & Nape and proceed how I normally would (if you felt you didn't need the Protein Rx overall).

My suggestion is to strengthen the Crown & Nape by applying a weekly Light/Medium Protein Rx to that area to hopefully strengthen it up some and start to rebuild it.

As you know immediately after a Relaxing, the bonds in your hair are completely broken down and to strengthen it, you should rebuild it with products that can help strengthen it back up.

This is why, IMO, the 1st 1-2 washes Post Relaxer are critical. I would definitely use a Restructurizer to help shore up those weak spots.

 

[LdyKamz]

I have one more question. Thinking ahead about my next relaxer. Even if I decide to relax my nape every other relaxer, how will I keep from over processing it since it is so short. I will of course do it last but some relaxer is bound to get on the already relaxed part and then I'll be in the same boat as I am now. Is this premature worrying?

 

[IDareT'sHair]

KammyGirl

You are always going to have some degree or level of run-off. That's just going to happen.

You could either rely on the run-off to gently process that area, or apply base or something to that area to more or less Texlax it or slow down the processing after processing it last.

 

[mscocoface]

sorry wrong thread.

 

[majinbuu252]

Oh wow. She would NEVER get my money again.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

I think you are thinking of someone else. lol I've never put a siggy up before. I hardly ever post pics. The thing is I agree about not having enough NG at 6 weeks to touch up. I mean I have some and maybe my edges will be a little fuzzy. Nothing some edge control or Jam and a scarf won't take care of but that's about it. I don't think my nape area gets that much NG during that time either.

I think I'm going to play it by ear this go around. After the 6 weeks is up I'll see what my hair is doing and decide from there. I do know that - and I've said this before but, - I am going to start doing my own hair from now on. It seems none of them can follow simple instructions.

Ahh ok. I apologize.

As far as your last question I usually coat my entire head excluding the NG with coconut oil to help w/ minimizing over processing my relaxed strands.

 

[LdyKamz]

Ok. Thanks for the advice everyone!

 

[karenjoe]

it will be ok, keep up what you was doing......

protein maybe once or twice a month but everybody head is different'
don't over due protein.
My hair start shedding at 11 weeks so I think I will relax at 12 weeks min.
I'm learning to listen to my hair.....

 

[londonfog]

About 6 years ago I actually got fussed at by my beautician because I asked her was it time for a perm again only 6 weeks after the previous one that she applied. I wanted someone to grow my relaxed hair without weave or wigs & a friend referred me to her. She chopped off everything & started me off with a pixie cut because my head was raggedy!! She was great!!! She washed, conditioned & styled my hair every 2 weeks & could literally rub her hands through my NG & tell me the last time she did a perm (which would be around 8 weeks) then she would make me wait another 2 weeks before she did one. So around 10 weeks.

She relaxed the nape & sides every 8 weeks though because she kept that area trimmed/shave down anyway. My hair grew out nice & thick but of course it got costly going every 2 weeks & it resulted in my mishandling my head again up until almost 6 months ago when I found my LHCF!

 

[karenjoe]

oh I forgot I have a cousin that wore her hair short ala Halle Berry or shorter at times.

Her hair dresser relaxed her hair every 4 weeks..... she started growing her hair out he continued relaxing the nape until it grew bob length.
she kicked back on the relaxers to 6 to 8 weeks. Her hair tolerated those relaxers well.
My couldn't have,
not even a no lye relaxer....