Weave/Wig Confessions & Dating Etiquette

[Barbie83]

If you regularly wear a weave and/or wig, and started seeing someone new, how would you bring it up? (or would you ) Would u let them discover it, or just talk about it plain and clear?


I'm not embarrassed, because i have a lot of hair and i use my half wigs to protect it while it grows, but some guys see "wig" and think "bald-headed"...


I had a GREAT 2nd date with this guy last night, and when he kissed me goodnight, he cupped my face with both hands (love that by the way ) but his fingers were dangerously close to the edge of my wig in the back LOL...I couldnt help but wonder.......erplexed

What would you do?

 

[kcbelle925]

Earlier this year, I met a guy through a dating site and I was wearing one particular wig in my profile photos. However, when we met in person I wore a different one and he looked taken aback by the difference of my hair. I had to explain to him that I like changing up my hair styles so I wear wigs. But I quickly added that I do have hair growing out of my scalp and pulled out my phone to show him a photo of my natural hair. His eyes got big and said my hair was beautiful and he would love to play in my curls *sigh*. I told him to give me a little time to grow it out some more and he can play 'til his heart's content.

BTW, he's white.

 

[HauteHippie]

A lot of guys are clueless, even if they touch your wig/weave. My friend's bf of a year has no idea she wears a fall. I do, too and the guy I'm seeing touches my face/hairline and I'm pretty certain he's clueless. Guys in the past don't know until I tell them. I do show them pics of my real hair, though

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[LadyBugsy]

Previously, I didn't tell menz about my "hat". I would just switch it up and keep it moving. One guy busted me because he woke up in the middle of the night and saw my fall sitting on the bed post :-/

Now, I tell folks up front. Take me as I am ....




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[butterfly_wings]

LOL ^^ that's so funny what did you do?

 

[Barbie83]

I hang my wigs on the bed posts too

I've startled myself in the middle of the night when I've woken up and thought it was a person standing over me

 

[Lynnerie]

I have just been non-chalant about it. Its really not a big deal when you have hair plus it has allowed me to let the guy I'm dating know that hair care is a hobby of mine.

Funny story...one day my now SO decided last minute to take me to an amusement park and I didnt know we were going. Lawd yall should've seen me holding my wig on those rides. Everybody on the rollercoaster had their hands in the air... not me. I had my hands plastered on the wig to make sure it didn't fly off. We still laugh about it. But yeah just make sure whereever you all go that its wig appropriate.

 

[Barbie83]

OK, so i'll be sure to stay armed with pics of my real hair at all times. I've thought about wearing my real hair out on our next date and letting him comment on the difference, so I can naturally segue into talking about it :scratchch

 

[hair4romheaven]

This is a cute thread. LadyBugsy please come back to let us know his reaction. Lol

 

[Prudent1]

No tips/ advice since I haven't incorporated wigs/ weaves into my reggie but I thought this is good info for those that do. I just gutted it out during each of my awkward phases and endured the strange looks.

I hang my wigs on the bed posts too

I've startled myself in the middle of the night when I've woken up and thought it was a person standing over me

Too funny!

I have just been non-chalant about it. Its really not a big deal when you have hair plus it has allowed me to let the guy I'm dating know that hair care is a hobby of mine.

Funny story...one day my now SO decided last minute to take me to an amusement park and I didnt know we were going. Lawd yall should've seen me holding my wig on those rides. Everybody on the rollercoaster had their hands in the air... not me. I had my hands plastered on the wig to make sure it didn't fly off. We still laugh about it. But yeah just make sure whereever you all go that its wig appropriate.

I don't blame you. I would've done the same!

 

[lesedi]

When I wore weave a lot I would have go hard with exaggerated head movements so my tracks wouldn't be groped during 'the act'

 

[Geminigirl]

When I wore weave a lot I would have go hard with exaggerated head movements so my tracks wouldn't be groped during 'the act'

Lmao! I see the beginning of a beautiful thread!

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[LadyBugsy]

This is a cute thread. LadyBugsy please come back to let us know his reaction. Lol

He woke me up on some "Is there something you want to tell me?!" BS. "Yeah, fool ... It's a wig. Come back to bed"






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[toinette]

He woke me up on some "Is there something you want to tell me?!" BS. "Yeah, fool ... It's a wig. Come back to bed"






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he actually woke you up out of your sleep to ask about your hair?

 

[ms.blue]

I tell the men I see that I'm either wearing a wig or weave straight up. I also let them know I'm not "bald-headed and also pull out the cell to show pics. Normally they really don't care, maybe because I tell them right away so there is no shock. Ask him how he feels about weaves or wigs and see how his reaction is, to determine if you will tell him or not.

 

[FearlessNik]

Very few people here have seen me with my hair out. I always keep it braided/ twisted. In the time I have between styles I wear the black head wrap. I don't go eat (where I have to take it off). I'll order pizza or eat chips I also cut things out with my partner. He didn't understand how I was hiding my hair (the 6-8 little plaits that I put them in. It's the only thing I can do. But it looks like a slave hairdo).

 

[CurlyMoo]

Do the guys every come right out and ask if it's a wig/weave before you had a chance to mention it?

 

[Honey Bee]

Barbie83, I went through a heavy wig wearing period right before I found the boards and I was bold with it. One day, the 'Farrah,' another day a short 'China doll', I didn't care! When people would compliment me, I just gave them the little head shake, like, Nah, this ain't mine. Never had any trouble. In fact, several guys seemed to like it, not the fake hair, but that I was wearing fake hair and they couldn't tell. I think they probably figured, they're all wearing it anyway, at least on this one it doesn't look so wiggy.

 

[cmw45]

Ahhhhh!!! I have always wanted to know how guys feel about this. When I met the guy I am currently seeing I had twist; and we were casual acquaintances. Later, we became friends and he saw my hair styled in braids, a straight weave, a curly wig and my own hair straightened. (My wigs are always very, very close to my own natural hair and my current FB profile is of a curly wig.) Finally, we begin seeing each other and...er...coloring. Up to this point, every time we have colored my natural hair has been pressed straight. He always comments that it's straight (and secretly...er not so secretly because I can tell...likes my curly hair better).

But the truth is *cue Fantasia*...1) I am a little afraid to wear my own curly hair out in front of him because I am afraid he will be "disappointed" or preferred the curly wig to my actual hair and 2) when we were coloring he was running his hands through my straight hair. Ummm...that's okay for straight hair but not for curly hair. (He's not Black...he doesn't know better...yet So I am afraid to wear any of my protective styles with him because I don't want him groping all through my hair when we're er...coloring.

So I guess my side question is, without attempting to detract from the OPs original intent of the thread would be do any ladies find it even more difficult to explain the wigs (or weaves) to non-Black men? When I had the straight weave (my first) with a Ghanaian guy I was dating, I had zero problem explaining it was a wig...and he didn't seem to care. But for some reason I am nervous this time. Maybe it's because I like him more...care about him more and I am worried that without the wig he won't find "me" as sexy. LOL...but no...really

 

[ms.blue]

cmw45, explain to him that you like wearing your hair in different styles. I find that non black love seeing natural hair textures better than black people (don't stone me) so I highly doubt he will have a problem seeing your natural curls.

 

[glamazon386]

I don't say anything. If they ask, I say yeah. Doesn't really matter. I wear my own hair most of the time now anyway but when I was an avid wig/weave wearer it was never an issue. I never took it off in their presence.

 

[CurliDiva]

I agree that most guys do NOT care, as long as it looks good!

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[ogmistress]

So I guess my side question is, without attempting to detract from the OPs original intent of the thread would be do any ladies find it even more difficult to explain the wigs (or weaves) to non-Black men?

I still have a problem explaining to my ex bf (we seperated a month ago)why I want to wear a wig. I tell him because of pure laziness on trying to find a style on my 14 month post transition hair. But he goes on and say "You don't need it. I like your hair. It so long and pretty." (when this was said my hair was shoulder length)

He has told me up front when we were dating that he doesn't like fake hair. I was confused because when we first met me I had extensions. He's like "yeah, but I like your hair in braids" and I tell him "You know it's not my hair, something you told me you don't like" He nods and I called him backwards.

Anyways I went out yesterday and bought myself my first wig . He's gonna freak, lol. But I don't care, I'm doing me. Plus all I'm going to say is at least I didn't dye or relaxed my hair.

 

[MyCoilsGoBoing]

I'd just tell him from the get-go, so there would be no .

 

[toinette]

I still have a problem explaining to my ex bf (we seperated a month ago)why I want to wear a wig. I tell him because of pure laziness on trying to find a style on my 14 month post transition hair. But he goes on and say "You don't need it. I like your hair. It so long and pretty." (when this was said my hair was shoulder length)

He has told me up front when we were dating that he doesn't like fake hair. I was confused because when we first met me I had extensions. He's like "yeah, but I like your hair in braids" and I tell him "You know it's not my hair, something you told me you don't like" He nods and I called him backwards.

Anyways I went out yesterday and bought myself my first wig . He's gonna freak, lol. But I don't care, I'm doing me. Plus all I'm going to say is at least I didn't dye or relaxed my hair.

i actually understand his POV on that one. With braided extensions, everyone knows its fake hair and no one thinks that the person with the braids is trying to pass them off as their own. With a wig or weave, there is a level of subterfuge that some feel must be at play

 

[ogmistress]

i actually understand his POV on that one. With braided extensions, everyone knows its fake hair and no one thinks that the person with the braids is trying to pass them off as their own. With a wig or weave, there is a level of subterfuge that some feel must be at play

That makes sense. I am going to ask him if that is what he meant all along and then indirectly apologize for calling him backwards.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I think the best way is to just not say anything until you wear your hair out the next time. Then you can let him see what your real hair looks like, and explain that you wear wigs for a protective style. If he can see you actually have hair underneath, then he's less likely to freak out

 

[cmw45]

I still have a problem explaining to my ex bf (we seperated a month ago)why I want to wear a wig. I tell him because of pure laziness on trying to find a style on my 14 month post transition hair. But he goes on and say "You don't need it. I like your hair. It so long and pretty." (when this was said my hair was shoulder length)

He has told me up front when we were dating that he doesn't like fake hair. I was confused because when we first met me I had extensions. He's like "yeah, but I like your hair in braids" and I tell him "You know it's not my hair, something you told me you don't like" He nods and I called him backwards.

Anyways I went out yesterday and bought myself my first wig . He's gonna freak, lol. But I don't care, I'm doing me. Plus all I'm going to say is at least I didn't dye or relaxed my hair.

1. At the point that he's really an "ex" (which is not what it sounds like ) then what you do with your hair is your business.
2. I also understand where he is coming from and have a similar perspective to toinette. When women wear braids most people expect that there is some extensions added and they are more widely accepted as female adornment and "decoration." Whereas weaves or wigs are stigmatized (fairly or not) as a deceptive practice.

When it comes to most other people, I am willing to admit it if I am wearing a wig...but only if they ask me. If not, I stay cute and K.I.M.

 

[Queenmickie]

I like this thread! I have a funny story about traveling while wearing my Beyonce. It was winter so I thought of her as a hat. I put a LOT of hairpins to make sure she stayed secure on my head while on the plane when I fell asleep. It never occurred to me that the pins would set the metal detectors off like bomb. As soon as the wand came near my head it started beeping like crazy. I was so lucky the TSA was a) female and b) AA. I whispered to her that it's all the pins in my wig. She took me behind the privacy wall, felt up my Beyonce and sent me on my way. I was so lucky! That could have turned out really bad.

 

[lilyofthenile]

I don't tell them up front. If the relationship or dating would become more serious I probably would.