"We will not lose our love, our marriage, OVER HAIR"

[naturalgyrl5199]

For the women who said their husbands didn't like their hair when they went natural, did their opinions change once your hair got longer. I'm wondering if the issue with them not liking it is length and not so much the texture.

@KCcurly and @southernbella

blaqphoenix: YES! Once it got long, my hubby got in line.

 

[ManeStreet]

I thought those were stock images. But I guess it's not because looky here from February of this year:

http://www.curlynikki.com/2011/02/i-big-chopped-autumn.html

I don't know if ya'll checked out the link above but she (Autumn who had the issue with her husband) posted this as part of her interview about her big chop, the interview is dated 02/24/2011. I'm not giving any opinion on it, just sharing.

"CN: How did you cope with the responses from your family and friends?
A: My parents, siblings, cousins, friends, and co-workers were all very supportive. But the person who matters the most – my hubby – STILL HATES MY HAIR! In the infamous words of Method Man, my hubby says similar things to “I don’t like no peasy afros”. It hurts. But I know he sees that I have so much more going for me than my hair. I’m still beautiful, so is my mind, my body, and my spirit. Plus, I think he’s just not a fan of short hair on me – and neither am I. We both can’t wait till my hair has some SWANG!"

 

[LittleLuxe]

Makes me wonder...if your husband can't get down with you because you dare to have your hair short and naturally growing from your head how do you really know homeboy would stick around if you got breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy?

"you know I don't like no flat chested women. I'm gonna leave you if you don't get breast implants" "You know when I married you you had cute big breasts, you're not the woman I married now."

I mean damn...I know some of the women on this board are co-signing once it got long their husbands approved...but what if you end up realizing you love short hair. Then you just accept the insults and scorn? Men just need to freaking MAN UP. Don't put a ring on any woman's finger if a change in hairstyle is going to make you act a punk. Smh.

 

[reeko43]

I understand all that you wrote. Makes sense. However, why are you still debating on whether to keep being natural or to relax, as per your siggy? Is transitioning difficult? Do you miss straight hair?

LOL! I made my decision long time ago. I tried to update my siggy but forgot my password at the site where I made my growth calendar. Haven't felt like taking the time to make a new one and don't want to accidently delete what I have.

Transitioning is difficult at times because of the amount of time I have to take washing, detangling, etc. Do I miss my straight hair? No and neither does my husband

 

[reeko43]

Why is every single woman who advises that someone leaves their SO/DH seen as thirsty/lonely/vindictive?

This isn't really directed at you, I have just noticed this tone here and IRL
I personally don't advocate telling wives to leave their husbands unless there is abuse or chronic disrespect....but the single women who do shouldn't be seen as jealous because of that. It is very easy to get a man. Any one of us could do that in a heartbeat....I think there is this misconception that if you are a single woman it's because you can't get a man which is straight BS

Didn't get married until I was 42 so I would never view single women as envious of marriage or that they were single because they couldn't get a man. It is easy to get "a man" but sometimes hard to find "the right man for me". I was not willing to settle for anything less and would be willing to wait until I was 80 for the "right man" if I had to.

My single perspective would have definitely been "leave that loser, you don't have to put up with that" because from the outside looking in single life was better to me any day than being married. It also took me a long time to develop my patience and would/have left relationships without blinking for the smallest infraction. I know marriage took work, patience, love and perserverence but you never have the whole picture until you are actually participating in the experience. There is a whole lot more at stake, mentally, physically, emotionally and legally that makes me think it is certainly better to do MY best to work things out than to just walk away.