Venting: Why am I not to BSL yet? I'm just full APL

[SimpleKomplexity]

I just really want to vent! WHY is it soooo hard for me to grow 3 inches of hair? All I want to be is a healthy BSL length. If I get there I'm satisfied. But it seems like it took me TOO long to get to APL and now it's been like over 1.5 years and I'm still not at BSL from APL.

I have tried braids (My ends look raggedy after and I have to snip away 2 inches)
I have tried sew ins but then my hair looks thinned out
I've tried just rollersetting and hoping it grows...it stays at the same length
I've tried bunning but get tired of it and plus people are going to start asking you to wear it down and plus my mom HATES it up. She claims it doesn't look "nice" so I end up having to wash it and roll it for church and etc.

I am to my wits end! I'm tired of bending backwards tryna get to BSL. I put some of my friends on the haircare tip and THEY'RE approaching bsl faster than I am with no friggin effort. WTF am I doing wrong?

Same regimen. No direct heat. What's going on!!

Relax 6-10 weeks
Wash Keracare Hydrating Poo
Condition Keracare Humecto
Leave In Paul Mitchell the Conditioner or Aphoghee Leave In
Paul Mitchell Skinny Serum
Rollerset

Wash once a week. Cowash 3 days after wash

Moisturize with what ever (Right now Shea Moisture Curl Milk)

 

[loveisnthehouse]

Does your hair feel like it's in good health? It sounds like it's strictly a retention problem to me, maybe some more knowledgeable people can pipe in and help.

I did think of one thing. What do you think about wigs? I did the lace wig thing for 6 months during the winter last year and cam back with some great results! My hair was cornrowed under the wig and I moisturized everyday. I wouldn't recommend leaving the cornrows in for more than 2 months thought unless you want locs.

 

[Janet']

SimpleKomplexity I'm so sorry. I know that it can be very disconcerting when everyone around you seems to "grow effortlessly"...Your regimen seems good to me...I'm sure the other ladies will chime in...

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Does your hair feel like it's in good health? It sounds like it's strictly a retention problem to me, maybe some more knowledgeable people can pipe in and help.

I did think of one thing. What do you think about wigs? I did the lace wig thing for 6 months during the winter last year and cam back with some great results! My hair was cornrowed under the wig and I moisturized everyday. I wouldn't recommend leaving the cornrows in for more than 2 months thought unless you want locs.

I think it is healthy because it has gotten a lot thicker. It has bounce, shine, and it's soft. Just not much length. AND it's the winter and my hair grows slower in the winter so I'm wondering when in the WORLD will I see BSL...and will my ends look back raggedy by then. Maybe I need to just go back to buns and buy a whole bunch of head bands.

I was thinking about lace fronts, but I haven't seen one that I really like that doesn't make your hairline look krazy

SimpleKomplexity I'm so sorry. I know that it can be very disconcerting when everyone around you seems to "grow effortlessly"...Your regimen seems good to me...I'm sure the other ladies will chime in...

It isn't that bad. I actually don't think of it most days, but it's getting so frusrating because I've been working towards BSL since before May (my graduation) It's 6 months later and I'm at the same spot. One inch past APL *sigh*

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Have you ever gone through a phase where you did braidouts or twistouts? I've never had a rollerset done but maybe thats too much manipulation for your hair. Don't you have to comb it with a fine tooth comb and hold it taut? I don't really know. Do you ever notice your hair breaking after you rollerset? Also, maybe you are washing too frequently which causes more manipulation.

 

[kmn1980]

I've tried bunning but get tired of it and plus people are going to start asking you to wear it down and plus my mom HATES it up. She claims it doesn't look "nice" so I end up having to wash it and roll it for church and etc.

I don't have any hair advice but I will say this:

You are an adult. As an adult, you should be able to wear your hair in way that you like and will allow you to reach your hair goals. So tell those people, and your mom, in the nicest way possible that you are going to do what benefits you and is conducive to your hair growth goals.

 

[locabouthair]

I know your hair is not where you want it to be but it has really grown from when you first started your journey

 

[classychic1908]

How is your moisture level? I wonder if using serum regularly is contributing to breakage? It might also be an issue of too much manipulation and not enough protection.
Hope you find the answer, girlie!

 

[afrikurl]

I am in the same boat. I wanted to ask though, do you seal you ends? Also one thing that I just started doing is making sure my(moisturized and sealed) ends are away no matter what. It i twist, then I pin the twists up in some type of updo, also with buns, instead of pulling the hair through the pony tail holder and letting the elastic rest on my ends, I now pull the pony all the way through and roll the end of the pony, then secure it with bobby pins. It will be a few months before I know if this is working fo me but I've been grazing APL since April.

 

[SleekyHair]

Relax 6-10 weeks

Relaxing every 6 weeks is way too soon. Maybe you should try stretching 10+ weeks??

 

[LynnieB]

Maybe it's just too much manipulation? Maybe cut down on so much cowashing? Are you using any protein to help balance all that moisture?

Maybe it's just too much of everything!

I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it and will be at BSL next year!! Don't lose hope, you've gotten this far!

 

[lana]

I'm surprised no one mentioned this....

Are you DEEP conditioning with heat?

Wear a bun or up style regularly and deep condition with heat at least once a week. You will see growth. Drink water and take your vitamins. (Taking my vitamin now and drinking water) APL is a great length, IMO, so good job!

 

[LunadeMiel]

Relaxing every 6 weeks is way too soon. Maybe you should try stretching 10+ weeks??

I was going to say the same thing. If your hair is thin this is definitely too much relaxing.

 

[Tiye]

I'm surprised no one mentioned this - some people's hair grows slow. It maybe true that you have retention issues, or you're not dc'ing enough or the right way, or you're getting touchups too frequently ... or this might be the rate that your hair grows. You said you've had to trim away some ends, and that overall your hair is thick and in good condition so all in all this might be your growth rate - be patient and you'll get there. A wig that mimics your texture and a style that you might wear might be a good solution. The hair line doesn't have to look weird - the benefit to relaxed hair (or a relaxed hairline) is you can just pull a little of your own hair out at the hairline and if the wig hair is similar to yours then you can blend it for a realistic look.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I'm surprised no one mentioned this - some people's hair grows slow. It maybe true that you have retention issues, or you're not dc'ing enough or the right way, or you're getting touchups too frequently ... or this might be the rate that your hair grows. You said you've had to trim away some ends, and that overall your hair is thick and in good condition so all in all this might be your growth rate - be patient and you'll get there. A wig that mimics your texture and a style that you might wear might be a good solution. The hair line doesn't have to look weird - the benefit to relaxed hair (or a relaxed hairline) is you can just pull a little of your own hair out at the hairline and if the wig hair is similar to yours then you can blend it for a realistic look.

My hair grows super fast. That's what disturbs me more. That means I'm really not retaining any length. If I take care of it, my hair will grow 3/4-1 inch every month.

 

[wyldcurlz]

SimpleKomplexity - you sound just like me with the buns that the mom hates (I kinda hate them too - my hair looks better down. end of story) and the frustration with your ends and the slow growth/retention issues. I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!

Keep reaching out to the forum girls and make use of the search tool to drill down specific areas of concern.

Here are my GUESSES:

I just really want to vent! WHY is it soooo hard for me to grow 3 inches of hair? All I want to be is a healthy BSL length. If I get there I'm satisfied. But it seems like it took me TOO long to get to APL and now it's been like over 1.5 years and I'm still not at BSL from APL.

I have tried braids (My ends look raggedy after and I have to snip away 2 inches)

Maybe your too scissor happy with your ends? I know this is a great debate on lhcf BUTTTT, your ends are the oldest part of your hair and sometimes, certain parts of the hair grow faster than other parts. Maybe those raggedy ends were just longer (thinner) strands? Maybe you should stop snipping your ends! 2 IN IS A LOT TO CUT!! Leave your ends alone, nurture them, moisturize & seal and be super gentle to them - try it for 6 mos just to see. (only do mini S&D missions but no major cutting.)

I have tried sew ins but then my hair looks thinned out
I've tried just rollersetting and hoping it grows...it stays at the same length

people would always tell me - "a watched pot never boils." Ugh - i hated that, but...its kinda true. As annoying as it is, change up a few things (since what you've been doing hasn't produced satisfactory results) and check it monthly but no more!

Relax 6-10 weeks
Wash Keracare Hydrating Poo
Condition Keracare Humecto
Leave In Paul Mitchell the Conditioner or Aphoghee Leave In
Paul Mitchell Skinny Serum
Rollerset

Wash once a week. Cowash 3 days after wash

Moisturize with what ever (Right now Shea Moisture Curl Milk)

JUST A THOUGHT but, Keracare Humecto, Aphogee Leave-in & Paul Mitchell the Leave-In? Don't all of those have protein in them? I'm not a pro with this so ask some more, but check to make sure you have a BALANCE between protein and moisture. Maybe your hair needs a little more of one and less of the other. I know too much protein can make the hair hard - just bad overall for the hair - but since you relax maybe you need MORE protein?

Check out Sistaslick she has some great and informative articles!
Protein and Moisture Balancing in Black Hair Care: When to Say No to Moisture - Associated Content - associatedcontent.com 9

continue to educate yourself! good luck! YOU'LL GET THERE!!! just keep that hair healthy and you'll reach your goals!

 

[PinkPebbles]

I noticed in your regimen that you didn't mention any protein treatments.

I think you should include some protein treatments in your regimen to keep your hair strong, and cut back on the frequent cowashes.

 

[Sistaslick]

Be encouraged, SK!

You've got too much length to be relaxing every 6 weeks my friend! If you're going to be relaxing, you've got to stretch out your applications. Unless your hair is very short, you need to be getting at least 8-10 wks between the applications, preferably longer.

I agree with everyone on the manipulation, you've got to cut back the handling as much as you can. This is something that I've struggled with too, and I've had to really buckle down and get serious with myself. I've just been all over the place. Got to BSL and just started chillin'

The moisturize with whatever part is also interesting. Is the shea moisture milk product a water-based moisturizer or an oil? You are already sealing with a serum-- I'm wondering if you're actually getting moisture into your hair or just piling product on the exterior. :scratchch:

Someone else mentioned deep conditioning w/ heat-- what's the status on that?

Are you seeing any breakage? How is your diet?

 

[Carisa]

I noticed in your regimen that you didn't mention any protein treatments.

I think you should include some protein treatments in your regimen to keep your hair strong, and cut back on the frequent cowashes.

Agree^^^^ Protein treatments were the first thing i thought about. Also another thing is that these products may just simply not be for you.

 

[Chevelure618]

First of all I want you to know that I have felt the same way. 1) Are you tall? I am 5'10" and when you are tall with a long neck and torso it seems to take forever to reach the goal that everyone else seems to gain so quickly. 2) Remember that right before you see consistent length you are going to see thickness. This is what happened to me. I felt stuck at APL until my last touch-up. Now I am starting to see REAL progress. In fact I was wondering when I shampooed last night if being BSL in the shower when the water is draining off of it counts...because I am BSL in the shower.

My APL to BSL is 6 inches apart. Then my BSL to MBL is only two inches more. My length hair on an average height 5'2" person would be MBL or WL.

3) You may be at the end of a growth cycle. My hair grows faster in summer and slower when it starts to get cold. I've seen more than my usual 1/2" per month when I massage with warm coconut oil

Keep doing what you are doing and I wouldn't let even your mother keep you out of protective styles. I think that is the only way I am going to make it through winter without losing progress.
Good luck, chin up.

M

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Ugh! :hardslap: lol Why does haircare have to be this hard

Questions:

Deep condition with heat? Yes everytime I DC (Usually with Humecto of ORS Replenishing Pack) I do it with heat for 15 minutes

Protein- Yes I do protein treatment regularly. Every other week with Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayo or Aphoghee 2 minute reconstructor and their other products

Diet- My diet is okay. No carbonated drinks. Few fried fews. Low sugar. I hate water

Am I tall? Nope I'm at the other end of that spectrum so I know I'm not at my terminal length or anywhere near it.

Am I seeing breakage? Yup I am when I comb it out. I think it's because I don't comb my hair hardly at all. I may comb my hair like once a week. I mostly finger comb so when I do comb my hair is tangled.

Shea Moisture Milk is moisture based. it's not an oil. It's like hair lotion

Other Moisture? I use Wave Nouveau or ORS Olive Oil in a jar. I don't seal. It makes my hair so heavy, but I use to seal with olive oil

I think I'm going to cut out the Serum for now and just focus on moisture.

I think I'ma just go buy a few headbands,and wear a bun for a lil while or something

 

[nnmiles]

Wondering....do you have a hair steamer... if not get one, you will notice retention results. I have! Be blessed.

 

[lushcoils]

Girl you hate a lot of things that may get you over this hump. You have to do something different to get different results. Water and bunning may be what you need. Good luck.

 

[Jas123]

Ugh! :hardslap: lol Why does haircare have to be this hard

Questions:

Deep condition with heat? Yes everytime I DC (Usually with Humecto of ORS Replenishing Pack) I do it with heat for 15 minutes

Protein- Yes I do protein treatment regularly. Every other week with Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayo or Aphoghee 2 minute reconstructor and their other products

Diet- My diet is okay. No carbonated drinks. Few fried fews. Low sugar. I hate water

Am I tall? Nope I'm at the other end of that spectrum so I know I'm not at my terminal length or anywhere near it.

Am I seeing breakage? Yup I am when I comb it out. I think it's because I don't comb my hair hardly at all. I may comb my hair like once a week. I mostly finger comb so when I do comb my hair is tangled.

Shea Moisture Milk is moisture based. it's not an oil. It's like hair lotion

Other Moisture? I use Wave Nouveau or ORS Olive Oil in a jar. I don't seal. It makes my hair so heavy, but I use to seal with olive oil

I think I'm going to cut out the Serum for now and just focus on moisture.

I think I'ma just go buy a few headbands,and wear a bun for a lil while or something

sk... you may be like me... my hair doesn't like too much protein... i had to learn the hard way... i was doing a protein treatment every week (via henna) and my hair revolted... it kept breaking and i was in denial thinking it was shedding... NOPE... pure unadulterated breakage... i knew it was the protein because the the breakage was recent and that was the only thing that changed in my regimen... my hair can only take a little protein (i now henna once every 6-8wks)... it took a a couple of weeks to normalize and now it's back to normal... my hair simply adores moisture...
i see you protein every 2 weeks... that might be a bit too much... cut back to every 4-6wks and see what happens and use moisturizing (i.e. water based conditioners) in the mean time... read labels for signs of protein too, so you can avoid them for awhile...

 

[diadall]

LOVEinthishouse

The back part of my hair is where yours is in your siggy on June 23. Where are you now in terms of growth. I am trying to see where I could be in 5 months.

Does your hair feel like it's in good health? It sounds like it's strictly a retention problem to me, maybe some more knowledgeable people can pipe in and help.

I did think of one thing. What do you think about wigs? I did the lace wig thing for 6 months during the winter last year and cam back with some great results! My hair was cornrowed under the wig and I moisturized everyday. I wouldn't recommend leaving the cornrows in for more than 2 months thought unless you want locs.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

sk... you may be like me... my hair doesn't like too much protein... i had to learn the hard way... i was doing a protein treatment every week (via henna) and my hair revolted... it kept breaking and i was in denial thinking it was shedding... NOPE... pure unadulterated breakage... i knew it was the protein because the the breakage was recent and that was the only thing that changed in my regimen... my hair can only take a little protein (i now henna once every 6-8wks)... it took a a couple of weeks to normalize and now it's back to normal... my hair simply adores moisture...
i see you protein every 2 weeks... that might be a bit too much... cut back to every 4-6wks and see what happens and use moisturizing (i.e. water based conditioners) in the mean time... read labels for signs of protein too, so you can avoid them for awhile...

Most of the time I'm strictly moisturizing. I just use ORS mayo or Aphoghee 2 minute as a PrePoo. I still follow with my Humecto.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm kinda tired of wrestling with it and not getting anywhere. I just want to chop it all off.