Vent - "Girl Your Hair Is SOOOO Long"

[MickMick]

Yesterday I saw one of my friends from college (early nineties). Back in the day I sported above the ear hair styles. I was ALWAYS in the hair place and could ALWAYS find a beautician that wanted to cut my hair into a short style. I happened to like myself in shorter hair and I thought that it was less maintenance than longer hair.

About a year ago (after that ***** overprocessed my hair and it fell out) I started getting serious with the maintenance of my hair. Now my hair is almost chin length. The big and most important thing is that I have a lot of body and shine. I do it myself and I am amazed at how healthy it looks. I receive lots of compliments on it.

Yesterday I was at the mall and I saw one of my college friends. She ran over to me and said, "OH MY GOD!!!! You look so pretty. Girl your hair is SOOOOO long. Is it a weave?"

Ain't that about a *****?

I was so insulted. This is a girl who has had shoulder and bra strap length since I have known her. She knows that my hair isn't long. Also, I would be wasting my money if I got a weave that looks like this.

I know her...I have seen her hate on other folks for much less and I am 100 percent certain that she was trying to say some **** to bring me down a peg. She would often make little comments "women look better with longer hair" or "I am glad that I don't have thin hair" then look at my obvious hurt and say "I didn't mean YOU."

I looked at her and said, "Dag. Now you know that my hair isn't long. My hair was short BY CHOICE. You make it sound like I had that kind of hair that COULDN'T grow. Then you are acting like my hair was so short that you could smell my scalp. No. It isn't a weave So, how are YOU doing?"

My mother was like, "You overreacted. " I don't think I did given our history. She is just that ***** that likes to make people feel bad about themselves. It worked back then, but it ain't working now!

Man the issue is much bigger than hair. That is just a symptom.

Thanks for listening.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Then you are acting like my hair was so short that you could smell my scalp. No. It isn't a weave

Some people are just trifling like that. Just be glad you don't have to see her everyday anymore.

 

[dlewis]

Some women just have issues, ignore her.

My husband and I were just talking about this last night, my hair is not what I consider very long but is about 3" below the shoulders, and people assume that it's a wig or weave, but they can think what they want, I know that it's all my hair.

 

[Recherché.Beauty]

I go through something similar like that everytime I go visit my friend's sister. She always running her fingers through my hair talkin' about "Aww your hair has gotten so long. What are you doing to it?" My best friend says she's putting some stuff in it. I looked at her like she crazy and said "Actually it's called Shampoo, Conditioner, Deep Conditioning And Moizurizing." And She Was like "OH"...She trips me out everytime she sees me...uggghh...

 

[alexei]

Then you are acting like my hair was so short that you could smell my scalp. No. It isn't a weave So, how are YOU doing?"

Good one.
Just keep growing that hair, you will reach your goals in no time.
That's when people will start tackling you to feel up your scalp. HHG

 

[CourtneyinDallas]

LOL You didn't overreact...hateful *****!

 

[MizAvalon]

See, stuff like this burns me up! Even though I'm assuming that your friend was black as well, what she said was a classic "long for a black girl" type comment.

Would a 'non-black' woman with collarbone or hair a couple inches past her shoulders be told that her hair was SO long?

Short answer:NO!!!!

 

[HoneyDew]

Everyone has been thinking my mom has a wig since she did her version of crown and glory for a year.

She likes that they think that.

I would not mind someone thinking I have a weave or even being honest enough to ask. As long as it was just curiosity and not rudeness or skepticism.

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

People are crazy. I guess all black women are supposed to have short, barely there hair, huh? If not, it's a weave? Some people have a lot to learn.

 

[hottopic]

Well just thank God that you guys aren't really friends any more. You don't have to see her or talk to her...Just be happy you are not dating her...lmao. I feel sorry for the guy she hooks up with.....She sound nasty.

 

[Lovelylocs]

U just have to learn to start taking that "hate" as a compliment. They wouldn't have anything to say if u didnt have something good and desirable. I love it when people hate on my hair. lol It just tells me that it looks that good.

 

[Pam Pam]

Hey ladies.

That is truly terrible about what that girl said to you. But we as a people need to stop feeding into stereotypes about what our hair and cannot do and what it is supposed to look like.

Hopefully, you're cured her need to discuss the way others wear they hair. The next person may not be so nice.

I think you ladies are wonderful and I'm learning so much about hair care and length. I am definitely taking it all in and trying to allow my hair to grow longer and thicker (hence, the no relaxer--makes my hair thinner) and for my goddaughter that I am raising and my 5 month old.

 

[MizAvalon]

Hi Pam Pam! Glad to have you here!