Transitioners support thread

[Janet']

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I am 32 weeks post relaxer and now is the time when people really start questioning your motives. You know I've gotten the..."Ok, I thought you were playing...it's time for a perm now" or the "Dang, you really are serious... erplexed WHY???" Support is key, so thanks for the support.

Check out my fotki album ( a work in progress): www.fotki.com/ATLPeach
Password in profile

Janet'

 

[hopeful]

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I am 32 weeks post relaxer and now is the time when people really start questioning your motives. You know I've gotten the..."Ok, I thought you were playing...it's time for a perm now" or the "Dang, you really are serious... erplexed WHY???" Support is key, so thanks for the support.

Check out my fotki album ( a work in progress): www.fotki.com/ATLPeach
Password in profile

Janet'

Awww Janet' you are such a cutie pie, such pretty hair and a pretty face to match. 32 weeks post-relaxer is great! Good luck with your transition.

 

[Nightingale]

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I am 32 weeks post relaxer and now is the time when people really start questioning your motives. You know I've gotten the..."Ok, I thought you were playing...it's time for a perm now" or the "Dang, you really are serious... erplexed WHY???"

Janet'

This happens to me too!

 

[imstush]

i must say this is my third time. The first time was in 2000 I started to transition. In 2003, I put the relaxer back into my hair, regretted the decision. And what do I do in May of 2005 I did it again. So I am praying that I will not fall off the wagon. Maybe if I take some pics of what the relaxer did to my hair, I will have enough motivation to stick it through.

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

I'm 1 month post, its smooth sailing now but I dont think I'll be saying that a few months from now.

 

[Premierepearl08]

Another transitioner here!! I pray to God that he helps me. I was natural for 5 years before I relaxed in November. ( I know, I know...) I *plan* to transition for a year before chopping. The first time I bc, but the hubby has given me the "no go" on that idea so I don't have much of a choice. I also want to have a bit of length. Right now my hair is the longest that it's been since elementary school and I am loving it! My hubby is happy with my hair now, and honestly I love relaxed hair, but I miss *ME*. It sounds strange but it's how I feel. I miss playing in my hair, twirling my fingers in my coils. Relaxed hair feels so lifeless, although it's appealing to look at.

By the way, let me share a little comment with you that my family shared with me upon hearing that I was returning to natural hair. My mother said "don't go natural, just get a wig! They have natural looking wigs." My thought was (why not go natural and buy a straight wig??). My mother-in-law said "not that nappy stuff. Your hair is *supposed* to be straight and silky". You should have seen my face!!! I was thinking "oh, that did it! I'm going nappy for real now!!!" It's amazing how brainwashed our people are about our hair!

 

[blessed]

I so glad for this support thread,because its not that easy to transition when your been relaxing your hair for years. I too got so negative feeback when I told people that I was going natural. But who cares what people think it my hair not theirs. But I am so excited to see a whole head of natural hair. Can't what for a year to past!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Little Miss3]

I am so so so tried of my hair I can just cry!!! I have not had a perm on my entire head since last Aug(04). I did perm the front of my hair about 5mths ago and that part of my hair it still a little straight. I HATE MY HAIR RIGHT NOW. I was about 95% natural and still needed to cut some perm out, I thought only about 2 or 3 inches, well last night I get to chopping and chopping and chopped off about 5 or 6 in. and I was ok with that because I thought that now I can deal with my hair and not have to worry about the two textures. YEAH RIGHT, still not right the front is still a little stringy. Now that I only have about 5 or 6 in. of hair left I'm not sure what to do with it. I tried to put it up in a afro puff and my hubby said it was ugly because it was "stingy".

And to top that off my hair it SO dry it feels like a brillo pad. I have tried to deep con. and con washes for the past month and still dry dry dry, I HATE IT.I washed my hair this weekend and it took me 45min or more just to get the comb(K-cutter) through it and to put it in a pony tail. I do not want to take that much time out of my life to do my hair and still not like the results. I have not worn my own hair out(weaves and wigs) in over a year and I am trying my best not to perm and to love my own hair but with all the problems I am having, I'm wondering if it is worth it to go natural.
Thanks to anyone who reads my rants!

 

[caligirl]

@LilMiss3:

I feel the EXACT same way. I'm tired of spending hours on my hair just to not like the results.
Time like these I like to go to the Dominicans for a blowout and leave my hair alone for 2 weeks.

 

[angellazette]

Transitioner checking in here… I need to vent --- bear with me!
​

Don’t get me wrong…I don’t plan on relaxing my hair , but lately I’ve been dealing with some serious dryness (which I think may be due to the products I used this week to deep condition), out of the blue extreme thickness , and hair combativeness all rolled into one!! It’s really been frustrating dealing with this 20% natural, 80% relaxed hair of mine!

To begin, I wore braids for about 2 weeks before I had to take them out. I don’t know what caused this sudden change in my hair, but it has been getting THICKER!! Is this common for naturals? For a minute I thought this was because I was expanding my coils with my fingers, but that wasn’t the case before and after I took down my braids, or when I put flexi rods in my hair last night. My hair was just sooo thick, in fact, I’ve been having a harder time with flexi rods because my hair just keeps expanding! Don’t get me wrong, I want thick hair, but thick hair and relaxed ends are causing me a lot of trouble.

As for the condition of my hair, for some reason it has been getting dryer . I spent 45 minutes detangling my hair and loading it up with conditioner just to detangle, and I still wasn’t able to do it with ease! The dryness involved my natural hair, but the tangles involved my relaxed ends! Anyways, I believe some of this dryness is due to the fact that: 1.) I don’t know of any good moisturizers for my new growth alone while I wear a flexi rod up do; 2.) I believe this particular gel I started using for my sets has been extremely drying, and 3.) some of these products (i.e. conditioners) that I’m using don’t contain very good ingredients. I think I need to research some good moisturizing products for my hair because what I’m using just isn’t cutting it.

Also, in another thread I mentioned something about all of my natural hair not coiling up. Is this common? Yesterday while my hair was damp I was playing in my new growth and decided to do a practice shingling technique. After I applied some gel and moisturizer to this particular section of my hair, twirled it around my fingers, and let it set for a few minutes, I noticed that the top portion of the coil didn’t coil at all. The rest of my hair had coils and loose spirals, but the top portion was just there --- no coil…nothing. Am I experiencing heat damage?

I need to give my hair a break. Right when I get back from vacation I plan to cornrow my hair using my real hair. Wearing cornrows has always helped me retain length and moisturize all my hair completely! Hopefully this will help with some of the problems I’m experiencing. If you ladies have any advice on how to whip my hair back into shape, please share!

Thanks for letting me vent!

-lovelymissyoli​

I was having the same drying experience also. One day I was deep conditioning with Elucence MB, and after I rinsed and airdried, my hair was a dry, poofy mess. I couldn't even get my fingers through my head...I have since stopped using the Elucence for my deep conditions and made a conditioner mix of dominican conditioners. Try changing your conditioner, that may help. Also, I'm going to try to cw more often.

 

[MzTami]

Hi Ladies,

I am a newbie and I am transitioning as well. I don't really know why, but I am tired of relaxers and chemicals every 6-8 weeks. Are there any other reasons why you ladies transitioned or transitioning to natural?

Also, Is it possible for new growth to be soft? I am not having problems with my hair yet, but it's only been 7 1/2 weeks since my last relaxer. I have not used a flat-Iron and I am thinking to myself, If my hair is this soft and manageable, what possessed me to use a flat-iron daily for over 15 years? I can't believe how soft my hair is. It has done a 180 since I found this forum. Thank you ladies!

By the way, Do you have to pay for fotki(sp) to post pictures?
Also, when the ladies say, look for the password in profile. How do I get to their profile to get the password?


Transitioning
Last relaxer- 07/02/2005
Texture-2b/medium
Length- shoulder
Goal-shoulder length 100% natural healthy hair.

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is.- unknown

 

[iwantlongerhair]

And to top that off my hair it SO dry it feels like a brillo pad. I have tried to deep con. and con washes for the past month and still dry dry dry, I HATE IT.I washed my hair this weekend and it took me 45min or more just to get the comb(K-cutter) through it and to put it in a pony tail. I do not want to take that much time out of my life to do my hair and still not like the results. I have not worn my own hair out(weaves and wigs) in over a year and I am trying my best not to perm and to love my own hair but with all the problems I am having, I'm wondering if it is worth it to go natural.
Thanks to anyone who reads my rants!

I don't have any advice but I can relate with what you are going through. My hair is super dry and after washing I have so many tangles. I went to the beauty salon today because I didn't feel like doing my own hair, she washed my hair and then told me she would have to relax it before she could style it so I just ended up leaving.

 

[Blossssom]

I got a question *cough*

When you got past say the 6-8 week post relaxer mark, did you experience a ton of shedding?

Were you fearful about losing so much hair?

I shed, too, but I know shedding is natural. My hair still seems as thick as it ever was.

I talked to my beautician yesterday and told him that my 8 weeks was coming up, but I didn't think I needed to relax again. He wanted to know about shedding.

So for those of you who are a 4a/b and haven't relaxed for a long time, what do you think of shedding...?

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

Hi Ladies,

I am a newbie and I am transitioning as well. I don't really know why, but I am tired of relaxers and chemicals every 6-8 weeks. Are there any other reasons why you ladies transitioned or transitioning to natural?

Also, Is it possible for new growth to be soft? I am not having problems with my hair yet, but it's only been 7 1/2 weeks since my last relaxer. I have not used a flat-Iron and I am thinking to myself, If my hair is this soft and manageable, what possessed me to use a flat-iron daily for over 15 years? I can't believe how soft my hair is. It has done a 180 since I found this forum. Thank you ladies!

By the way, Do you have to pay for fotki(sp) to post pictures?
Also, when the ladies say, look for the password in profile. How do I get to their profile to get the password?


Transitioning
Last relaxer- 07/02/2005
Texture-2b/medium
Length- shoulder
Goal-shoulder length 100% natural healthy hair.

Fotki offers two types of accounts, Premium which offers unlimited storage space for a annual fee of $50 and the Free account which offers limited storage space, I think you can store atleast 50-100 pics on the free account which isnt bad at all. To look at a members profile click on their nic then click ~view public profile~.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

I got a question *cough*

When you got past say the 6-8 week post relaxer mark, did you experience a ton of shedding?

Were you fearful about losing so much hair?

I shed, too, but I know shedding is natural. My hair still seems as thick as it ever was.

I talked to my beautician yesterday and told him that my 8 weeks was coming up, but I didn't think I needed to relax again. He wanted to know about shedding.

So for those of you who are a 4a/b and haven't relaxed for a long time, what do you think of shedding...?

I am at the 10 week mark and I don't know if it is because of stretching/transitioning or season or what but my hair is shedding like CRAZY. I don't even want to touch it.

My last two relaxers I stretched from 14 weeks and 13 weeks and I did not shed. So I am clueless.

 

[hopeful]

I am so so so tried of my hair I can just cry!!!...

Don't cry Little Miss3! You'll figure it all out sooner than later. Maybe you have scab hair. Maybe you need to braid it up for awhile. I found that when I was natural sometimes my hair wanted me to leave it alone, so I would wash, condition, load it with leave-in and oils, braid it up and leave it alone for like at least a week at a time. Good luck.

 

[hopeful]

Good luck Imstush, Sweet Ambrosia, Premierepearl08 and Blessed! You can do it!

 

[Cheleigh]

I got a question *cough*

When you got past say the 6-8 week post relaxer mark, did you experience a ton of shedding?

So for those of you who are a 4a/b and haven't relaxed for a long time, what do you think of shedding...?

I had no unusual shedding at up to 14 weeks post. After I took out my twist extentions, I started to experience tangling when washing and now, some breakage from the tangles. I do now see more shedding (sometimes with a knot in the center of it). I've seen about 5 broken strands on the top of my head below the demarcation line, which, for the 8th time, I attribute to being rough with the tangles.

Today I'm 24 weeks post, and my natural hair is doing well. My relaxed hair is not as happy, but that's to be expected.

 

[caligirl]

I don't understand the whole "shedding" thing. As long as you handle your hair gently and use a good conditioner, there is no reason for your hair to break or shed during the transition. I've used the K Cutter comb and denman brush with no problems.

 

[caligirl]

I don't have any advice but I can relate with what you are going through. My hair is super dry and after washing I have so many tangles. I went to the beauty salon today because I didn't feel like doing my own hair, she washed my hair and then told me she would have to relax it before she could style it so I just ended up leaving.

Good thing you left! I go to a dominican salon with a year and a half of newgrowth and its no problem at all. It all depends on the stylist...don't let anyone talk you into relaxing just to "style" your hair.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

I don't understand the whole "shedding" thing. As long as you handle your hair gently and use a good conditioner, there is no reason for your hair to break or shed during the transition. I've used the K Cutter comb and denman brush with no problems.

Well during the first 5 months of my transition, I had very little shedding and during the sixth and seventh month, the shedding was ridiculous..between month 7 through 9 the shedding decreased and now I am beginning to shed a bit more again...i treated my hair gently and used good conditioners with great slip, but the shedding continues and i manipulate my hair very little...Our hair goes through shedding phases (the transition of follicles from growth phase to resting phase) where we lose anywhere from 50 to 100 hairs a day. A lot of ladies use MSM which can decrease the number of shed hairs dramatically because it contains sulfur which tends to strengthen the follicles and lengthen the growth phase and reduce the resting phase (when the hair sheds).

As for breakage I agree that a good conditioner, consistent moisturizing and protein treatments can prevent damage significantly. hth

 

[Premierepearl08]

I am so so so tried of my hair I can just cry!!! And to top that off my hair it SO dry it feels like a brillo pad. I have tried to deep con. and con washes for the past month and still dry dry dry, I HATE IT.

I can sympathize!! ((HUGS))) I went natural in '99 by way of BC and I experienced similar results. I had my relaxer in May and BC in July. At first, it would look wonderful, kind of wavy/curly, but after a couple of months it was hard as a rock! There was no product that I put on it that would make it soft. Brillo pad for real. My mother told me "you need to do something about this" as she touched it one day and then recommended some Stay-Sof-Fro to me. Well, that didn't work! I don't even remember when my hair began to change but it did. What I had was definitely some form of scab hair! I don't have any pics of the brillo hair for obvious reasons! *grin* I say just wait it out!

I have relaxed after 5 years of being natural and am now transitioning again so I may experience the same thing again, but it's worth it in the long run!!! Hold out, hon!! Also, I found that the fewer products I used, the happier my hair was.

 

[Blossssom]

Well during the first 5 months of my transition, I had very little shedding and during the sixth and seventh month, the shedding was ridiculous..between month 7 through 9 the shedding decreased and now I am beginning to shed a bit more again...i treated my hair gently and used good conditioners with great slip, but the shedding continues and i manipulate my hair very little...Our hair goes through shedding phases (the transition of follicles from growth phase to resting phase) where we lose anywhere from 50 to 100 hairs a day. A lot of ladies use MSM which can decrease the number of shed hairs dramatically because it contains sulfur which tends to strengthen the follicles and lengthen the growth phase and reduce the resting phase (when the hair sheds).

As for breakage I agree that a good conditioner, consistent moisturizing and protein treatments can prevent damage significantly. hth

Thanks for that information, Tasha... I agree with you and Lng4HealthyHair that hair just sheds naturally anyway.

Some times more than others, but I was just alarmed when the beautician asked me specifically about shedding.

I went 4 months last time before getting a relaxer, and I didn't notice any weird shedding. I do believe the thicker and longer the hair grows, the more shedding we may experience. Can you imagine what we would look like with NO shedding? Omigod! LION QUEEN!

I would one day like to be relaxer free. I've become quite adept at dealing with my natural hair and able to comb it out after washing.

 

[*Happily Me*]

I'm learning to tame my hair, finally! All I had to do was add oil, cream and anything moisterizing! Talk about simple... Thanks for the suggestions ladies!!!!


Well, I condition wash everyday, add some shea butter and coconut oil. Pull it back in a ponytail, bump my bang under then I'm out the door! Whew, i'm glad I've found something I can live with for awhile.

Oh, and I am sooooo loving my newgrowth again!

 

[Kikootie]

I'm 24wks post so my hair is really getting out of hand. I conditioner washed my hair today and for the 1st time I did it in 4 sections. I liked it. It took longer but the comb out was much easier. Much less hair fromt the line of demarcation than normal ended up in the drain. I was so happy. From know on I will CW in sections.

 

[angellazette]

Ladies, I use conditioner and water to spritz my hair daily but sometimes I feel that I just need an extra umph to my daily moisturizer. I always follow up with oil...is there something I should add to the spritz? Maybe I'm just being difficult.

 

[Cheleigh]

Ladies, I use conditioner and water to spritz my hair daily but sometimes I feel that I just need an extra umph to my daily moisturizer. I always follow up with oil...is there something I should add to the spritz? Maybe I'm just being difficult.

I add: aloe vera juice, glycerin and peppermint and rosemary EOs to my spritz as well as a little condish and filtered water. I spritz twice daily. I also use jamaican mango & lime cactus leave-in moisturizer every night after I spritz and before I braid. My hair, both relaxed and natural, craves lots and lots of moisture.

 

[Peachtree]

bumpin' for Meia

 

[angellazette]

Wooo saaaaaa!

I had a moment today, thought about relaxing...I put all my thoughts in my fotki though...and added an afro photo!

 

[balisi]

Wooo saaaaaa!

I had a moment today, thought about relaxing...I put all my thoughts in my fotki though...and added an afro photo!

Good for you angellazette! That was some pretty good self-intervention!