Spinoff: Honor Thy Mother and Father

[Plenty]

Hey ya'll. I have been thinking about this for the better part of my life. I don't know how to honor my mother and I am afraid I don't care to...

She is the sourse of the pain, shame, and dissapointment in my life. After dehumanizing and the verbal abuse(which always scars worst then beating) she reminds me "that nothing good is going to come to you because you don't respect me." I do respect her but I hate the way she treats me. I don't think I deserve it. I no longer respect her as my mother.

What does one do in this situation and still be pleasing to God. Or even worse what if you have a mother that was on today's Oprah show. Do you still keep your distance. I heard a preacher once say "He thinks it's ridiculous when her hears that people don't speak to the parents." And I once told a "christian" "friend" about the abuse, that is what it is...abuse!, she told me "but, that's your mother." So becuase she is my mother. I have to stick around and be miserable and hurt everyday because she is my mother.

Let's discuss. What does it mean to honor thy mother and father, especially when you have unhealthy relationships with them.

Any scriptures and so on would be appreciated.

 

[locabouthair]

there is a part of the Bible not sure where but it says that parents shouldn't be harsh on their kids or something like that.

 

[cocoberry10]

Hey ya'll. I have been thinking about this for the better part of my life. I don't know how to honor my mother and I am afraid I don't care to...

She is the sourse of the pain, shame, and dissapointment in my life. After dehumanizing and the verbal abuse(which always scars worst then beating) she reminds me "that nothing good is going to come to you because you don't respect me." I do respect her but I hate the way she treats me. I don't think I deserve it. I no longer respect her as my mother.

What does one do in this situation and still be pleasing to God. Or even worse what if you have a mother that was on today's Oprah show. Do you still keep your distance. I heard a preacher once say "He thinks it's ridiculous when her hears that people don't speak to the parents." And I once told a "christian" "friend" about the abuse, that is what it is...abuse!, she told me "but, that's your mother." So becuase she is my mother. I have to stick around and be miserable and hurt everyday because she is my mother.

Let's discuss. What does it mean to honor thy mother and father, especially when you have unhealthy relationships with time.

Any scriptures and so on would be appreciated.

Plenty:

The Little Children and Jesus (Mark 10:13-16)
13People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 16And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

Ephesians 6:1-6
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:20-21
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your mother. I didn't find anything that specifically dealt with child abuse, but it seems that God does not want people to abuse each other. It seems that he wants people to love one another and live in love. I believe that no one should sit there and take abuse. However, it is your mother, and yes you do have to honor her. However, in my opinion, honoring her does not necessarily mean that you allow her to disrespect you or mistreat you. Sometimes we have to love from afar. I believe our Heavenly Father does this with us. Not because he loves us less, but because He knows that until we are ready to receive Him the way we need to, He must step back.

If your mother is abusive to you, maybe you need to take a step back as well. That doesn't mean that you need to stay angry with her. If you need to talk to someone, I would suggest doing so. Maybe you can go to counseling or something like that to deal with the pain and anger her abuse has caused you. In the interim, pray for her and keep her in your heart (even if you must keep your distance). In time, she may come to terms with her own pain. I will keep your family in my prayers.

 

[Plenty]

Plenty:

The Little Children and Jesus (Mark 10:13-16)
13People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 16And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

Ephesians 6:1-6
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:20-21
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your mother. I didn't find anything that specifically dealt with child abuse, but it seems that God does not want people to abuse each other. It seems that he wants people to love one another and live in love. I believe that no one should sit there and take abuse. However, it is your mother, and yes you do have to honor her. However, in my opinion, honoring her does not necessarily mean that you allow her to disrespect you or mistreat you. Sometimes we have to love from afar. I believe our Heavenly Father does this with us. Not because he loves us less, but because He knows that until we are ready to receive Him the way we need to, He must step back.

If your mother is abusive to you, maybe you need to take a step back as well. That doesn't mean that you need to stay angry with her. If you need to talk to someone, I would suggest doing so. Maybe you can go to counseling or something like that to deal with the pain and anger her abuse has caused you. In the interim, pray for her and keep her in your heart (even if you must keep your distance). In time, she may come to terms with her own pain. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Thank you, this means alot!

I thinks are going to get better betweens becuase I realize that she is never going to be there me the way I need. I have been doing this for the past couple days and I feel so much happier, and she seems more calm. Thank you again!

 

[ThinNnappy]

I think the most important thing out of this is you have to forgive. You have to forgive your mother for what shes done to you and keep on forgiving her when she does the same thing over and over. Still honer her no matter what, and pray for her that she will change and see what she does to you, and maybe even tell her.

 

[luvalva30]

I can so sympathize with you Plenty. My mom and I have a very tense relationship also. She has verbally abused me and I know for a fact I don't deserve it. She has called me every name in the book, insulted me, criticized me, tried to sabotage my relationship with my husband and his family, etc. I can just go on and on. It's a shame. I have basically given up on having any sort of normal mother/daughter relationship with her. I still honor her as my mother, but I am not gonna take her abuse. It hurt so bad though. I love and honor her as my mother but she has a lot of issues she needs to deal with in her own life. I am so envious of women who have great relationships with their mothers. I feel like she is just so jealous of me in so many ways. She hates I have a nice house, good husband, good job, good friends. How can your own mom hate you? I feel like she hates me for real. No one in this world has caused me more pain than she. I wish I had the answer for you on how to overcome your situation, but it just seems like one of us are going to our graves before the situation is over with.

 

[*ElleB]

I can understand..

To me forgiveness is letting go of the anger and the animosity in your heart that you have toward a person. In this case, your mom. When you open up your heart and let all the anger go, and you are truly free, i think that is What God wants....