sad realization that my hair will never be where i want it to be

[Daughter]

Glad to read you're feeling better Pringe!

My hair length stayed the same for ages because of using permanent colour and heat... for me less is more. You've had a lot of good advice - love your hair for what it is even right now and focus on health of the hair rather than length and the length shall come

 

[Irresistible]

Firstly I'm sorry this is happening to you

What exactly is your regimen? What type of products and tools do you use? Do you think that coloring your hair affects your hair's health?

I was going to say the same thing

It's probably the coloring

OP dont give up , try natural hair with no color

 

[Irresistible]

Anything you do at this point is going to be a long term investment. Right now I think you really should take time out to really appreciate the beauty of your hair and health of your hair, give your self some credit girl. Look at your hair, it could be dry, chewed on ends with no edges buts its not because of you. You could have not even tried and hide your hair away in a weave for the rest of your life but you didn't either.

Also, I want to say.. one of the most damaging thing we can do, ESP us women is to compare your selves with others. I struggle with that everyday, and I know its not fun, all it bring is feelings of inferiority, self loath, anxiety, depression, etc. Sometimes I wonder why my self and others tie having long hair with being happy, when you can just be happy now.

when you want it that's how it feels

when you have it , it just aint the deal

life is still life, long or short

 

[Irresistible]

YOOOOOOOOUUU NEEEEEEED CARE FREE CURL!! CURL ACTIVATOR, ITS GREAT. IM NATURAL TOOO AND I HAVE MBL

OH LORD!

 

[winnettag]

lovenharmony lol ur making me laugh like a maniac!

u guys r right. I decided no more color because i can see lasting damage on my head so i have 2 tone hair right now lol. I kind of want to rinse or henna it black but i also like it this way because it helps me measure the growth.

i started using UBH moisturizer and i like it. Also trying to seal with castor or coconut oil religiously. now that i look and i just stretched it it has grown some. I guess i was just venting and ranting. Sorry guys i feel stupid now

I was happy to read this because your initial post broke my heart.
There's hope for you yet!
Don't feel stupid, we all need to vent and rant every now and then!
Good luck with your new plan!

 

[virtuenow]

Don't believe the hype. I still cannot buy into this "protective" styling = growth. Nor do I believe no heat means growth. I refuse to protective style or go w/o heat. My hair is growing. Maybe you need to do the opposite of everyone else. That's what I do.

 

[nubinikki]

I didn't read all the posts, but I have o agree with others who say that coloring your hair is likely the culprit. My hair is super fine and I when i colored my hair last year, it did some real damage. i now know that color is not my friend. Good luck girl and don't give up just yet.

 

[jamaraa]

Hi Pringe: I think you may still be able to have your "Signature Color" by using Henna.

I read in your 'OP' that you are known for your Haircolor.

So, Henna may give you both the Strength you need and the Color You want.

You may be able to get the Color with the Appropriate amounts of ACV and/or Lemon Juice, Beer, etc..You should read up on it and try it.

At least it's a Natural Alternative to Bottled Color.

Stay Encouraged.

Adding all this stuff to henna can create more problems than otherwise.

 

[jamaraa]

Thank you guys for all your positive words of encouragement. When i logged back on and saw that the thread had gotten this big i was amazed and touched. This morning i was in a bbbbaaadddd place but i'm a lot better now.

You guys are ALL right in different ways. I wasn't kidding when i said no more color. NO MORE. Unless its a rinse or nat'l through henna or Bigen. I'm done. My hair looks dry and brittle and im done with it. the only thing that has stopped me from coloring it all black is because i can better measure growth.

sometimes i do fool around with my hair too much, im trying to find cute styles but styles that i can do and leave for like 2 weeks. i want to try and just leave my hair alone. no trimming, no nothing because i'm liable to cut all my hair off at this point.

I will take everyone's advice into consideration. i will review my regimen and styles. I also will try and do what 1 poster said.

I want to employ my "secret" mentality again. Speak positivity into existence with everything that i do. I'm blessed. there are some who don't even have hair on their heads and im complaining.

Just want u all to know how much i appreciate you all taking the time to comment and give me encouraging words. Thank you again and i know that this forum is really filled with ppl who only want to help others. thanks again!!

Avoid Bigen...period. Try henna after tons of research/experimenting on harvested hair and choose the simplest mix you can for the color you want.

Plenty of people w/ very long hair DO chemically color their hair BTW....many of these posters are ignoring this fact. This FACT should be pointed out no matter what you decide to do. Good luck.

 

[TracyNicole]

Your wash regime sounds good.

Honestly i can almost guarentee that your hair just cant take the chemicals!

Sounds like when u were younger you had a perm, then when you where older, although natural, you used color.

I can testify to this- No matter how much quality products, Dc'ing and babying my hair i do...when i would get my color or perm, within 1 year my ends would break.

If your goal is to have hair growth, i would suggest not using any type of chemical products in your hair.

I am going to second that opinion. I have fine 4a/b hair. When natural it still wouldn't grow. I've finally given up both relaxers and the black rinse I used to have even when natural and now my hair is finally growing and I'm retaining length. When I switched to all natural products I finally started seeing at least the 1/2 inch per month that is supposed to be average. HTH! Stay encouraged. You can get the hair that you want, you just have to figure out what works for you.

 

[Fhrizzball]

Perhaps getting rid of as many split hairs as you can could be a start in the right direction.

 

[almond eyes]

Pringe, don't worry!!!!!. Listen my hair was at the same length since my last relaxer in 2005 and I thought well my hair isn't meant to be past collarbone. Once I changed a few things it took off. Once you do the same, you won't be down for long when you see how quickly you will get results.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Adding all this stuff to henna can create more problems than otherwise.

IMO: For Me, Henna Has been A Great Alternative to Bottled Color.

I have been Hendigo-ing with Great Results for about 8-9 months. And You can achieve the desired color. ACV, Lemon Juice are all acidic to release the dye thus red hair. You wouldn't add it all at once.erplexed Personally, I use ACV to release the dye. Some use lemon juice, some orange juice and recently 'beer'

Moisturizing Does play a big part when you decide to Henna. Before I apply, I always Co-Wash with Something Moisturizing, I rinse the Henna out with a Moisturizing Conditioner and then I DC with A Moisturizing DC Treatment.

Henna has given me excellent results. It lasts long. For Me, it has been a Great Alternative to Color'Dye. I have never had dryness. And I have also gotten the desired results as far as Color. And overall shine and healthier looking hair.

 

[southerncitygirl]

I agree the color may be a culprit so try growing it out and see what happens. I wouldn't try henna cause everythang ain't for everybody. Keep it simple color is still a chemical like a relaxer that often requires a delicate balance btw moisture and protein. You'll be fine when i transitioned up until about 2yrs ago my hair seemed to be stuck at one length. When I was compltely natural it took off and by switching from weaves to wigs it took off even more. Maybe you need a low manipulation reggie also. feel better and above all be patient.

 

[Chevelure618]

This may not be a popular opinion but sometimes I think it is better to relax your hair if you want it super long. Natural hair is stronger, but grows 'out' not 'down'. Consequently, the amount of handling (pulling) that it takes to get to to 'lay down' is just too much manipulation and there is repeated breakage.

I don't know your hair history, but try a MILD relaxer just to make it combable, not straight. Relaxers are called this for a reason. They are at best meant to RELAX hair NOT straighten it. That's what flat irons are for.

Tell us more about your hair history before your 8 years of natural hair.

 

[purplepeace79]

It's not necessarily true, everyone hair grows, but you have to understand the rate.

Some ladies here are lucky with patience and genes as well as far as their growth rate opposed to others.

And dont forget a lot of women use growth stimulants, topical chemicals that aid in hair growth. It isnt always natural.


Don't be too hasty about relaxing because you may regret it later. Meaning you may like it at first, but once yr hair starts to grow the way you expect it to you may decide later to transition to natural again and have to start over again from scratch! Trust me I know what I am talking about. Just give it some time, think it through and think about the color you are adding to yr hair. Is this the actual culprit?

Yup. You have been natural for EIGHT YEARS. Clearly, it is something you wanted to do and stuck with. The women here have given you some great advice. Stop comparing your hair to others, stop coloring, really get better with babying your ends and wearing TRUE protective styles, and increase your vitamin intake/healthy eating.

 

[FluffyRed]

Aveda Clove conditioner is a godsend as my color is growing out.

It blends the light and dark areas and it looks soooo much better - temporary color fix, too.

hth