Need Advice...Bad Relaxer?

[FutureMD]

Hi,
I'm a new poster/member to the LHCF, I've been reading posts for years and finally became active. I have a question/hair issue, and was wondering if anyone had had a similar experience. I've had a relaxer for 15 years...my hair was doing great, and after switching to male hairdressers, had grown quite long (in my experience, they are more conservative with the scissors). I had an impressive head of hair (probably 4a/4b) that was regularly complimented by people. The Domincans accused me of not having a perm and almost refused to do my hair at one point...Mucho pello they would say...no look like a perm...

At any rate, I had very bad hair year that ended all of that. In 1999, I was given a bad substitute for a highly recommended hairdresser at salon that I had never been to-so I didn't realize that I had the wrong girl until too late). She severely underprocessed my hair. I then made things worse by letting my younger sister apply my next retouch 8 weeks later. She's grown nearly waist length hair for herself, but let's say, she didn't really care about doing my perm properly, and left the relaxer on for 10 minutes too long....massive hair loss, overall effect that my hair was severely thinned out. I will have issues with her regarding this forever, but that's another story.

It was so thick that even after losing about 75% of it's volume, people still commented that it was so "nice and thick." I remember feeling physically ill anytime anyone mentioned it. I gave up relaxers for many months, and sure enough, the new hair started to grow in and fill out things pretty well.

I then went to another hair salon in Chicago, and although I told the woman what strength and brand (regular Affirm) to use, she ignored me and used super strength Bantu. Again, massive hair loss ensued, this time focused on the right side of my head. The witch even had the nerve to comment on my "excessive shedding" and suggested that I cut it all off. She later went on to totally burn the scalp of another friend (who I didn't know had plans on going to that salon or that hairdresser). That friend lost the hair on the crown of her head and was so badly damaged that a dermatologist recommended she go natural, and she cut off all of her past shoulder length hair and has had an afro ever since (very cute though).

So the result of the 2nd bad relaxer in 10 months was that the right side of my hair was severly thinned out...I still had a lot of length, but you could pretty much see through one side while the other side was still filling out from the previous year's bad perm.

Despite much TLC, I still have issues w/ the right side of my hair. Each time I go to get it done, the "good" side is about 2-3 inches longer. I should add that I regularly trim the good side in an effort to keep things even. The new growth on the "Bad" side feels different from the rest of my hair...much rougher, and does not add length as well, and seems to be brittle and breaks off.

Any ideas why a bad perm (i had no scalp damage) would change my hair texture? why does my newly grown hair continue to feel so strange, years after the effect? has anyone had a similar experience? Everyone (doctors included) insists that it can't have changed things, but nearly 6 years out, i still cannot add as much length on that side, no matter what i do. it's not short, but it's way shorter than i'm used to and seems to always break off...I wouldn't mind if it was a choice, but it's annoying when it was kind of imposed, and hate to admit being jealous in watching friends (and my sister) who always had way less hair being able to pass me up (and get the compliments that i always got). i don't even like to wear my hair out now, b/c i miss what has been my trademark my whole life...

Thanks for any input that anyone has. On my last hairdresser visit last week, I had a bad spot in the middle, but I think that stress has been the issue...and I had to cut off even more.

I would love to just grow back my hair evenly to a nice length that I'm used to...I seem to keep moving backwards no matter what I do. My hair is the shortest it's been in about 15 years, after nearly a decade of hair that was always easily and comfortable beyond my brastrap (and when it was damaged, it was even longer).

 

[RainbowCurls]

First of all, welcome!

Well, my first thought was 'scab hair'. But you say it was several years ago so this seems more unlikely.

I'm suspect that lye relaxers may have changed my hair type... this is only speculation though. They irrated my scalp much more than no-lye relaxers and the new growth just used to look different when I used to use no-lye.
But, I don't have any real photographic evidence and I didn't ever have my hair sucessfully relaxed with a lye relaxer.

But, is it possible that a bad relaxer could cause permanent damage to the folicles?

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Welcome FutureMD. Your story made me want to cry...I'm sorry.

Hair follicles can be permanetly damaged...it sounds like this may be what happened. In that case, I don't know if an aggressive vitamin/mineral regiment, and constant deep conditioners would help.

Are you still relaxing, or are you natural?

Let us know how you take care of your hair...shampoo, conditioner, everything...and I know one of these lovely ladies on the board wil have some advice for you.

 

[FutureMD]

I am still relaxed. I've been trying to stretch and my hair lays down quite nicely if i tie it down...I just use normal moisturing products and my edges will be quite smooth after 10-12 weeks. The middle gets too poofy to manage and pull back after a while, but people are always suprised that my perms are so "old."

I'm not heavily relaxed, but my hair is straight...it's just really thick...it's thicker relaxed than a lot of people who have blow outs or presses...I frequently have had experiences with hairdressers who mistake the thickness for resistance to perms, which is why I always had to try to keep them from using super relaxers. It is quite thick, but every hairdresser who listened to me always commented that i was right about the way that my hair broke down easily.

After the chicago experience, I again took a longer than normal break from relaxers and then after some trial runs with cholesterol conditioner, started doing it myself. I had always paid attention to the amount of time that good hairdressers left the relaxer on my head....the first time I was a little under, but ever since then, I've gotten quite good and fast with it...I apply conditioner and the Affirm protectant, I base my scalp, and section. I see good results with the relaxer itself.

I use a lot of different products. I do the occasional Aphogee or Nexxus Emergencee Treatment. I used Humectress, or sometimes Profectiv or a little coconut oil as a leave-in.

I started working out again in March...I tie my hair down until it dries b/c I just don't have time to shampoo and stuff several times a week. I would point out that in the past, I worked out heavily for several years and this method results in no hair loss or damage.

I rarely use heat...I generally tie my hair down with a mesh scarf thingy from sally's and sit under the dryer until I'm damp.
I have marcel irons and an FHI ceramic irons, but I'm quite careful and use those rarely...the ceramic iron is new, and I've used it about 5 times. I've had the marcel irons for just over a year, and I've used them only a few times as well. When I use them, I always keep test them on papertowels and/or white towels, just like a pressing comb. I keep the dial of the FHI down to the minimum that I can use and still see results, and I don't try to get my hair bone straight at all.

I hadn't worn it down since March...it looked pretty great and had grown out really well. The major stress in my life between then and now no longer exists, so I hope the next few months will be kind to it. i had been using the fine toothed comb after using the regular comb, but that's probably the newest method in my regimen and I'm going to abandon it b/c in the past, I did not comb my hair every day and it didn't seem to matter.

In general, I wear a bun. I used a scrunchy (not tight, only slipped on and never doubled) and turn the bun inside out and use those plastic pins to hold it. When it was longer, I'd twist it and pin it with a bobby pin. My sister uses this method too, and as a I said, has nearly waist length hair...many of her methods were learned from me...

I sleep with a scarf every night, drink lots of water, etc. I only use the heat tools for special occasions, and even then I frequently cop out and wear the bun...people make fun of me and my school marm/librarian bun...at one point, it was quite huge, and one friend said it looked like a had a 2nd head growing from my own.
I just washed it today after the big chop and I'm already concerned about the maintenance. The hairdresser kind of made silly layers that are inappropriate for really thick hair...pulling it back is a problem, esp. since I'm not going to blow dry it. When it was wet, it wasn't obvious, but it shrinks up quite a lot. She had previously cut it pretty well, but I'm not sure I trust her now, b/c i don't know why she made the sides so short. She cut the back to it's shortest length and then cut the sides, that were quite long even shorter than that. It's very odd. Somehow the hair underneath in the back is shortest of all, as if she went under and cut it. Great for someone with thin hair, but a nightmare for me now.

I had commented to her that I couldn't get it straight like she did, and she suggested a comb-thru. I was kind of mad at that, since she was herself wearing a weave...don't give me suggestions on how i can have less hair when you are wearing fake hair to imitate what I have. She said that I should comb my hair thorougly every day, but again, I'm not sure how much advice I'll take from someone who has never grown long hair for herself. I didn't comb much the past 10 days and when I did comb thoroughly, all of the hair in my comb had the bulb on the end, and was not broken off at all.

We'll see. I think she went overboard cutting the sides, but I'm 7 weeks post relaxer and i seem to have a lot of newgrowth already. I won't be quite as bitter IF my problem area benefits from the chop. I've had my mom cut it back in the past and it would start out looking quite nice and then the bad side would start getting worse again. I don't know what to do...either hairdressers go nuts with the cutting, but my close family and friends are afraid to cut it.

I'll be rocking a lot of buns for a while, b/c I'm quite vain about my hair length and feel a bit odd about suddenly not having it.

I have a good friend who is a dermatologist (also black) who swears that my hair could not have been changed by the bad relaxer, and I get the science completely and she is right (see my screenname and I'm also an engineer)...she thinks that the change coincided with something else, but there is nothing that happened to me or my hair at that time. So science says one thing, but my hair says.