I hate the words Church and Christian..Help!

[Kinky4Agirl]

Hi everyone.. I need help I guess. I used to be very close to Jesus. He was my all. Now that I have moved to a new State, I have fallen away from him and I am starting to hate the word church, christian, etc. This state is not like the one where I am from and I have a hard time feeling christ in the churches where I live now. It seems more like a profession than the real thing. I used to live in North Carolina and every church seemed filled with the holy ghost and the pastor preached from the spirit. I have been to umpteen churches here and I still haven't found a home. Pastors preaching from laptops and cell phones, movie cameras everywhere, people showing off more than showing out for the Lord. I have lost my will to go to church. I need your help ladies because I know there is a God and I know he loves me. I used to shout in church and cry and enjoy the service. Now I can't hardly stand anyone that says they are christians because they are mean as the devil. Bottom line, I guess I have lost my faith in the church and I am someone who needs a good church to keep me in line. HELP!!!!

 

[HeChangedMyName]

)))hugs(((

Its good that you know that the Lord loves you, that alone puts you in a good place.
The first thing I would say is to not worry about your faith in the church, because the church itself is manmade. The buildings themselves are full of sinners who are only saved by grace and if you put any amount of faith in it, then you will surely be disappointed.

2nd thing is that if you need church to keep you in line, then you may have fallen into the cycle of "playing church" Not calling you out, because we've all done/doing it. But its easy to get off on the service, the preaching, the shouting, etc.

Pray and ask God to lead you to a church. It works. I prayed and have been in the same church now since 2004

When you go to church, prepare yourself to go to give God worship, rather than to receive something. Pray that God will give you a heart of praise and worship for Him, no matter what is going on in the pulpit. Start seeking and studying well before Sunday service and then start going in praising and worshipping God for the response he is about to give you.

Sometimes when our focus is not on God alone, he has a way of showing us that so that we can get back to him. It seems that may be what you are going through. I can speak on it, because I have gone through it. You'll be fine. Don't let the devil convince you that you are bad or wrong for the way you feel. It is human. We have to strengthen our spirit man and call our flesh into submission.

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

HeChangedMyName; your words almost made me cry. Thanks for your words of wisdom. You may be right. Perhaps I need to regroup and focus more on God instead of church. I must admit that I have been playing church ever since I moved to Indiana. I go only because I feel I should go... not because I want to go. While living on the east coast, I went because my spirit needed it. If I didn't go on Sunday, I wouldn't feel right all week until I got back in church on Sunday. I actually missed church. Now, I can't even concentrate on church because of all the fakes and pretenders in church. Even the pastors sometimes preach things that are not true of God. I know my Bible, and some of the things they preach are just false. How can I enjoy a church like that?

Going home now.. Will respond to the rest of you when I get to work tomorrow. Thanks for all replies.

 

[kikigirl]

Kinky4Agirl

I don't have many words of wisdom to offer. I just wanted to encourage you by saying that I can relate to how you feel. I had a similar "desert time" several years ago. I was just going through the motions, and eventually, stopped pretending all together, and "walked away from God"...Only, He didn't really let go of me. Once you experience the sweetness of a relationship with Abba, the temporary fits of rebellion cannot compare to His presence, and you always feel that longing that only He can fulfill.

The desire that you feel now to rekindle the passion that once was is an indication that the Father hasn't let go of you. Dear, you are His masterpiece, and He will finish the good work that He has started in you. You are precious in His eyes, and He sings and rejoices over you.
I'll be lifting you up in prayers. *hugs*

 

[ItsMeFre]

)))hugs(((

Its good that you know that the Lord loves you, that alone puts you in a good place.
The first thing I would say is to not worry about your faith in the church, because the church itself is manmade. The buildings themselves are full of sinners who are only saved by grace and if you put any amount of faith in it, then you will surely be disappointed.

2nd thing is that if you need church to keep you in line, then you may have fallen into the cycle of "playing church" Not calling you out, because we've all done/doing it. But its easy to get off on the service, the preaching, the shouting, etc.

Pray and ask God to lead you to a church. It works. I prayed and have been in the same church now since 2004

When you go to church, prepare yourself to go to give God worship, rather than to receive something. Pray that God will give you a heart of praise and worship for Him, no matter what is going on in the pulpit. Start seeking and studying well before Sunday service and then start going in praising and worshipping God for the response he is about to give you.

Sometimes when our focus is not on God alone, he has a way of showing us that so that we can get back to him. It seems that may be what you are going through. I can speak on it, because I have gone through it. You'll be fine. Don't let the devil convince you that you are bad or wrong for the way you feel. It is human. We have to strengthen our spirit man and call our flesh into submission.

Kinky4Agirl this is SPOT ON! I hope you're able to truly receive what HeChangedMyName said because that's exactly what I felt in my spirit and what my husband felt when I read it to him, before we read any responses.

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

Thank you ladies. I will consider everything said. Great advice. I just don't know how I can prepare for church while knowing I am going to a fake church. Maybe I need to stay home and make a sanctuary in my spare room or in my closet. Light some candles and pray for a home church.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

There is no such thing as a fake church. You know that the church is the bride of God right? There will always be some things in side the church building that isn't going to be right because humans us the fundmentally flawed are in. The church is in your heart. We the body of Christ is the church. I'm not insensitive to your situation. I have gone a long time not wanting to step one foot in a church building but you will be isolated and that's when Satan pounces the most. He likes to get sheep outside by themselves and do the most ratchet things possible.

How is your bible study on your own? Do you research the word on your own? Are you praying daily not those holy of holy prayers but the deep hearted prayers? Are you looking within yourself and seeing what God needs you to change in your own heart? Are you doing what the Word says and being a change agent in your assigned area?

I wanted to respond to your post in the other thread but I had to go pray about how to respond because I am a bit fire. My prayer for you is that you will find a church that is a true body of believers who are preaching,teaching and modeling the gospel. Once your able to get into a gospel centered church with gospel centered community things will change for such the better. Make sure while you do that you incline your ear to God's all mighty voice and listen. Allow him to guide you even if it doesn't feel good. God placed me in a church that I ran from because they are white. But now I'm there and am being able to be cleaned and lifted so that God can work through me. I pray the same for you.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Thank you ladies. I will consider everything said. Great advice. I just don't know how I can prepare for church while knowing I am going to a fake church. Maybe I need to stay home and make a sanctuary in my spare room or in my closet. Light some candles and pray for a home church.

HeChangedMyName; your words almost made me cry. Thanks for your words of wisdom. You may be right. Perhaps I need to regroup and focus more on God instead of church. I must admit that I have been playing church ever since I moved to Indiana. I go only because I feel I should go... not because I want to go. While living on the east coast, I went because my spirit needed it. If I didn't go on Sunday, I wouldn't feel right all week until I got back in church on Sunday. I actually missed church. Now, I can't even concentrate on church because of all the fakes and pretenders in church. Even the pastors sometimes preach things that are not true of God. I know my Bible, and some of the things they preach are just false. How can I enjoy a church like that?

Going home now.. Will respond to the rest of you when I get to work tomorrow. Thanks for all replies.

Don't fret. The saying is true, God really does know your heart. And from the sound of things, your heart is seeking Him and that is what he wants. I live in NC and there is something about church in NC. lol we gets is crunk overall. But I feel you. people are fake, pastors are fake, leadership is sneaky, but everyone is human and we have to overlook that. Try this. I wouldn't tell you to do anything I havent done myself, I did this in around 2003-2004 because I was feeling much the same way and I NEEEEEEDED a church home and I felt God calling me to that, but I didn't know where. Start checking out services online to see if there is a certain type of church that you will benefit more from. Not necessarily denomination, but the culture of the church. Do you need a young person's church, with the new music styles, or do you prefer a down home older person church with the hymn choir? Do you prefer a church that is more about the shout and stomp or more about listening to the lesson? Would you feel most comfortable in a large church in the 1000's of membership, or a small church with under 200? These are things to think about and ask God to help you find just that.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my church, and no matter which minister or my pastor or teacher is speaking, I always get a Word just for me. Sunday I go in waiting for God to speak to me about whatever I've been praying to him for throughout the week. Good luck hun, inbox me if you'd like some sermons sent to you. I buy the cd's occasionally. I go to a medium church so I don't have a website or anything to refer you to, but I'd be glad to send them to you if you like.

Pray nightly for God to let you see His message in EVERYTHING. I mean, in every word that people say, whether good or bad, ask Him to show you Him. Ask him to allow you to see people through His eyes and not through your own for a while. Did you know that as fake as churchgoers may be, if they are saved by the blood of Jesus, God can't even see all their mess. He knows, but when he looks upon us, he sees His son's blood on us and that makes us pure to him.


I know this is a tough place to be

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

You guys are awesome. I am in such a hole right now that doing what you all suggested is making me gringe. I have lost my faith I guess. Study the Bible, pray, ask God, etc... It's all hard right now. But I did get an answer from all of you. Through all of your comments "and Prayers", I have decided that I need to find God again on my own...alone.. before I try to find a church. The church was standing in my way because I have so many reservations about it. Every time I read one of your comments tears filled my eyes.. so I know I am longing for God again in my soul. It's the devil. I am starting to fight back. I will win.. I will not lose my soul and salvation to him. Thank you all for your comments and prayers. I feel rejuvenated already. Thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Kinky4Agirl This is with love. You don't need to do nothing alone. That is a trick from Satan. Being out there alone is a sure fire way to go to hell in a hand basket. When alone your left and there is no one able to edify and check you with in reason. You need to pray for Godly gospel centered community and get to getting. Don't make me have to do weekly checkins with you. I have done that in the past on folks. I'm serious about that. I speak from experience thinking I was good solo. Nope. When I think about all the time I spent alone I didn't grow and was left to defend as a broken person when Satan would come to destroy. The word begins to be turned out when your solo. You need others so let's make it happen.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

double post

 

[HeChangedMyName]

You guys are awesome. I am in such a hole right now that doing what you all suggested is making me gringe. I have lost my faith I guess. Study the Bible, pray, ask God, etc... It's all hard right now. But I did get an answer from all of you. Through all of your comments "and Prayers", I have decided that I need to find God again on my own...alone.. before I try to find a church. The church was standing in my way because I have so many reservations about it. Every time I read one of your comments tears filled my eyes.. so I know I am longing for God again in my soul. It's the devil. I am starting to fight back. I will win.. I will not lose my soul and salvation to him. Thank you all for your comments and prayers. I feel rejuvenated already. Thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

)))hugs((( but please don't try to go it alone. Even if you have to check in here and read every positive thread and scripture, NEVER think you have to do it alone.
This video reminds me of you. it is a life changer. Just watch it in its entirety and let God minister to you through it. and know that you are never alone because the Holy Spirit is IN you. The Bible/Gods's Word tells us to forsake NOT the fellowship. He wants us together, just think of what happens to the lost sheep. . .they get eaten. Find an online ministry and watch it, get dressed on Sunday and watch it. I did that too in preperation for God to send me somewhere. I had church at my home on Sundays for almost a year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

Kinky4Agirl This is with love. You don't need to do nothing alone. That is a trick from Satan. Being out there alone is a sure fire way to go to hell in a hand basket. When alone your left and there is no one able to edify and check you with in reason. You need to pray for Godly gospel centered community and get to getting. Don't make me have to do weekly checkins with you. I have done that in the past on folks. I'm serious about that. I speak from experience thinking I was good solo. Nope. When I think about all the time I spent alone I didn't grow and was left to defend as a broken person when Satan would come to destroy. The word begins to be turned out when your solo. You need others so let's make it happen.

ITA

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

You guys are so right. I am prey for the predator trying to do this alone. I have had so many sick thoughts and temptations since I tried this. Please pray for me that I will have the strength and the will power to go to church this Sunday. I haven't been to church since November 2012. Just pray for me... I will update in a few weeks.

 

[Shimmie]

Kinky4Agirl...

I just wanted to say that you have a powerful 'witness' in your heart and soul for Jesus. One of the beautiful things that I have noticed about you is that you KNOW God's Word inside and out.

You are no-nonsense and will settle for nothing less than honouring God and His Truth. This is the 'struggle' in finding a Church. You will not settle for nothing less than a Ministry which is set upon God's Word and non on the fooolishness of compromises in the world.

I admire you, Dear Sister.

When God is discouraged (and He is, with all that the world is doing), however when God is discouraged, He knows that He can look to you and point out to the enemy: "That's my Child; She serves me and in her I am well pleased.".

Don't you ever forget that!