HELP!!!! Affirm relaxer ...good for damaged hair?

[Ladibug]

Please help, I need a really moisturizing relaxer....Is anyone familar with this product and how has it worked for your hair?

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I have been transitioning since Sept of 2003, wearing braids (for the 1st time in my life) since late Jan 2004.

The first set of braids went well, considering that I did not know much about taking care of braids, until after joining this forum....and after 3 braiders, 6 hours, worring and adjusting--> (after a horrible detangling process somehow

my hair survived..a little thin, but longer) All after wearing the braids for 3 1/2 months!!!

THIS TIME however, I went to a friend's hair braiders - 3 hour braids with 3 braiders (did not realize the time saved is because they don't braid all the way to the end of your hair).

Wore these braids for 2 months (Sprayed Surge religiously, used Shea butter for my scalp, even had them washed, sprayed a conditioner spray on daily if not 2x/ day...had massages to scalp and a friend put Pink Oil Moisturizer on them)......when getting them taken out --> only allowed them to use CO and Unbraid spray (got that from here) versus the shampooing and brushing them out that I experienced the 1st time. Results!!!!!--> MY HAIR IS HORRIBLE, WORST THAN BEFORE I GOT THE BRAIDS!!!! THIN, SEVERELY UNEVEN....SHORT IN THE CENTER BACK, 10 inches in one area, 4-6 on the opposite corresponding side, thin, dry, brittle.....a horrible mess. I was in tears I was so upset.

I was looking forward to our local meeting, hoping to have some nice new growth and length to start my journal with since I was finally coming out of braids...... Now I just need help. I am going to the hairdresser tommorrow (Monday) for deepconditioning/texturizer.


The worst part is that I don't understand why it looks soooooo much worse this time, they were larger, neater braids....and I put sooo much effort into it. I had the 1st set of braids prior to surgery for my dislocated shoulder (my dominant right arm) at the end of May....could surgery or rather the anesthesia and narcotics that were running intravenously for a week have done this?

I might texturize because I only have a range of motion up to 60 degrees right now....(I am eating and brushing my teeth, heck everything with my left hand)....so I need a little help with managing my hair...

Last June I had beautiful hair,(1 horrible accident later) now I will have to have a Halle chop.....I HHATE IT!!!!!! and I just got started...what a bummer....



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Please send a little encouragement.....I have never been in such bad hair shape.....trying not to be depressed
(I am struggling everyday to "get back to normal" as much as possible)

PS - forget the soy relaxer...I am not in a place to be experimenting

 

[Ladibug]

I am on the verge of giving up.....few responses, lots of hours reading daily....for what.....BAD HAIR and little imput from others.

 

[pink_flower]

IM not sure what your question is. Are you wanting to know about Affirm? Then yes it is a good relaxer. But I dont think any relaxer is moisturizing.

Was this quote from you? If I was you I would probably hold off on the relaxer until my hair gets in better shape. Protein/ moisturizing conditioner and leaving your hair alone should be good.

 

[pink_flower]

Also some peoples hair might not respond well to braids. I know for me it was too much stress on my hair and left my hair very weak. Im sure it was the person doing them, but I wont go back to them ever..

 

[Stormy]

Ladibug, I'm just now seeing this post. I'm sorry to hear about your set back. I too experienced the same thing. I usually braid my own hair, but for the past year I just haven't had the time or energy. I went to a braiding shop and when I took my braids out last month after wearing them for only 5-6 weeks my hair was just like you've described your's. From what I can tell they used very thin pieces of my hair and mixed it in with quite a bit of human hair. It was too much weight for my hair. Anyway, I usually use Affirm relaxer and I like it, but I'm not using any relaxer at all now. I trimmed my hair, I'm wearing protective styles, and I'm transitioning. Conditioner washes a few times a week and extra moisturizing is very good for situations like our's. It's been a month now and so far my hair has improved significantly.

 

[kitchen_tician]

Hi Ladibug, I'm sorry to hear about your hair mishap.

I don't really have any advice, but the previous suggestions are good options. I also use Affirm Lye Mild and consider it to be a good relaxer, but I don't know if it will be the "moisturizing" relaxer you're looking for. I've been using Affirm for about 5 years and I've never experienced any dryness.

Don't worry, it will get better

 

[deborah11]

Ladibug,

Please do not relax yor hair right now. You need to deep condition your hair, keep in protective hairstyles and give your hair a chance to heal. I fear that if ou relax your hair now, you will have NO HAIR. Your hair needs to be given a chance to rejuvenate. I speak from experience. 2 years ago my hair was severly damaged by a bad relaxer. Prior to that my hair was thick and beautiful. after the bad relaxer, it was thinned out, overprocessed,, dry and broken off to less than an 1/2 in area in rear. I decided to give it a break--no chemicals, no wearing my hair down, no stress on my hair. I went withut a relaxer for 20 months. Initailly it was hard but over time it got better. I wore a phony pony for much of that time and initially I was ashamed because I had never wore fake hair before. After a while, I got use to it and actually started to like it. When people asked, I even told them it was fake and I was giving my hair a break from the chemicals. Within a few months my hair started to thicken up, grow and rejuvenate itself. I just got my hair texturized this past week and my hair is thick and long again. It's hhealthy. Please don't do anything to further damage your hair as their is no relaxer that will moisturizee damaged hair. A relaxer dries out healthy hair so u know it will do a number on already damaged hair. Please take some time to reflex on this situation, consider the alternatives that are available and forget about a relaxer for now. Best wishes..

 

[Lynxdiva]

Whoa! Whatever you do, DON'T GET A RELAXER NOW. There is no such thing as a "moisturizing relaxer." If the quote is your description of what you've been through, you need to ease your scalp & hair back from its trauma. As horrible as it may sound, you need to only get a deep conditioner & control your breakage. I speak from experience as I had a terrible hair fall out some 9 years ago when a stylist overprocessed my shoulder-length hair about a week before my 10 year high school reunion. Painful as it was to show up like that, I didn't put another relaxer on my hair for a while. I went to a cosmetologist who is well-respected and who warm pressed my hair until I could tolerate a relaxer some 2-3 months later. You can take a bad situation and make it worse with chemicals. It's not worth it. Stick it out, be kind and gentle with your hair & hold off on more braids and any chemicals. Your hair will thank you for it later.

 

[RabiaElaine]

Ladibug,

I'm sorry this happened to you. I have had many setbacks also, too many to count. One thing you know is that you will hopefully never make that mistake again. Knowing what will work for our hair is trial and error for everyone.

I met a lady on a train one day, and she had one of the most beautiful heads of hair I have ever seen in my life. I started up a conversation with her, she told me that she too has had many setbacks in fact her hair has been down to 1/2inch 3 times in her life due to her mistakes and mishaps.

My suggestion, is to hold off on the relaxer. Wait at least a month to let your hair rest. I know that might be hard, but try you will be happy you did. Either cancel your relaxer appointment tomorrow or have your hairdresser only wash and treat your hair. If I were you I would try to do it myself, since I'm swearing off hairdressers personally for a while. But I understand if you want to leave it up to your stylist. No matter what he or she says, do not let he/she relax your hair yet.

Also try conditioner washes, as before suggested. Do not over manipulate your hair. Let it dry via the pony method. You may need to do several ponytails to straighten it more since you probably have a good amount of new growth by now. Put the ends of the ponys on rollers to straighten them out and give them a little curl.

I hope it works out. I'll be praying for you, don't give up hope cause I'm not, and I've been there before trust me.

 

[Bobbie]

Re: HELP!!!! Affirm relaxer ...good for damaged ha

So sorry to hear this.

I agree with everyone else about holding off on getting a relaxer. Also, it seems like your braid experience may be a result of too many products used. I had similar disasters when I tried too many products to keep the braids moisturized and conditioned. Upon taking them out, even with regular washing, it caused severe tangling and build up.

Take a rest from braids and relaxers. Wear protective styles so your hair can have time to recover.

 

[TigerLily]

Ladibug, I'm so sorry, hair buddy!

 

[ichephren]

Re: HELP!!!! Affirm relaxer ...good for damaged ha

I'm soo sorry about your hair. But seriously...no relaxer for a while. Your hair will get better and it will grow back