Forgiving the Unforgiving/Unforgiveable

[loolalooh]

Hypothetical situation ...

A mother disowns her son because he is a difficult child and very disrespectful. It never got physical, but it was to the point where he was emotionally and verbally abusive. Months after she puts him out on the street (he's 19 by the way), he repents and asks the Lord for forgiveness. He gets help in the form of counseling from a professional and the church. After a while, he seeks forgiveness and reconciliation from his mother. She claims she forgives but she rejects reconciliation continuously.

The questions: Was his mother wrong for abandoning him? Is she wrong for refusing to reconcile with her repentant son? How does the son move forward when his mother ignores his request for reconciliation and continues to reject him? Would your answers to these questions be different if they were not mother and son? Do we have certain obligations to forgive + reconcile in the case of family or do the same rules apply to all of our neighbors regardless of blood relation?

 

[Guitarhero]

We do have to forgive if we want forgiveness but that doesn't mean we have to be a carpet for somebody. He's reaping what he sowed, as bad as that is. He should pray for God to soften her heart towards him. It appears that he'll have to live a good life for quite a while for her to take notice that he's sincere. She's hurt and doesn't want to get hurt again. He just has to suck it up, hoping that things will change in future. As far as the difference between family and non-family, it would be best if they would reconcile. But it has to do with the nature of the breakup in the first place as this extreme hurt was caused by her own child. I feel sorry.

 

[Mocha5]

The questions: Was his mother wrong for abandoning him?

I would say no. It sounds like if she would have allowed him to stay it would have been to her own detriment. I wouldn't refer to it as "abandonment" but "tough love."

Is she wrong for refusing to reconcile with her repentant son?

Yes. Luke 17, Jesus tells His disciples “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. Sounds like her son has done the forementioned. But then Jesus goes on to say "If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him."

Even the disciples were like, "WOAHHH!" They cried out, "Increase our faith." They figured it would have to take a substantial amount of faith to be able to obey. But Jesus replied all we need is the faith of a mustard seed. So it's doable...if we ever happened to be in that situation. erplexed

How does the son move forward when his mother ignores his request for reconciliation and continues to reject him?

He moves forward knowing that he has done what God has mandated him to do. As Natchitoches stated, he continues to pray that God softens her heart. Sounds like mom is hurt and still needs healing. It's so important that when we are offended, we don't harden our hearts. The time of estrangement is a time to really allow God to heal and restore us. It won't be easy because the enemy will flood us with every offense that person has ever done. We just need to continuously cry out to God. And when the person who has offended us finally gets a clue, we'll be able to genuinely forgive and accept that person...maybe with caution but none the less accepting. As a result, that person's relationship with Jesus will be strengthened because we chose to let our light shine.

Would your answers to these questions be different if they were not mother and son? Do we have certain obligations to forgive + reconcile in the case of family or do the same rules apply to all of our neighbors regardless of blood relation?

My answer would remain the same regardless of the relationship. God doesn't distinguish between brothers. God can restore ANY relationship and make it better than it ever was but that entails both parties fully submitting to Him. They have to be pliable clay in the Potter's Hands.

 

[Chrissy811]

My answer would remain the same regardless of the relationship. God doesn't distinguish between brothers. God can restore ANY relationship and make it better than it ever was but that entails both parties fully submitting to Him. They have to be pliable clay in the Potter's Hands.

Thanks for saying this so well, our pastor pointed that out Sunday in his series on forgiveness. So well put Mocha.

 

[Mocha5]

Thanks for saying this so well, our pastor pointed that out Sunday in his series on forgiveness. So well put Mocha.

Thank you, MrsJones. I appreciate that!

 

[Thiends]

There is not anything that God cannot restore. He has to be patient and to continue to do the right thing and grow in God, while God softens his mother's heart.

"And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you." (Joel 2:25)