Continue Transition or Relax?

What do you think I should do

  • Continue Transition

    Votes: 13 61.9%

  • Relax

    Votes: 1 4.8%

  • Texlax

    Votes: 6 28.6%

  • BKT

    Votes: 1 4.8%
  • Total voters
    21
  • Poll closed .
bosswitch

bosswitch

Well-Known Member
I need your opinions ladies...

I began my transition almost 7.5 months ago (long term transition) but I'm having the urge to relax/texurize. I'm trying to move towards styling my hair everyday but it's been really hard trying to get both textures into a nice, sleek style. I'm very frustrated with the amount of time it takes me to straighten my hair (2-3 hours :nono:) only for it to revert within a few hours. Braidouts,twistouts and rollersets are not an option for me because they never turn out properly and I don't think I have the time or patience to try again or learn new styles right now. I've also thought about BKT-ing using a BKT alternative but the ones I'm looking at are $$$ and I don't want expose myself to some of those products until they're in use for a few more years. So here are the options I have:

1) Relax again
2) Texlax
3) BKT
4) Continue with the transition

If you were in my position, which would you choose? If you choose "4)Continue with the transition", please give me some pointers, cause I'm H.A.M. with my transition right now :sad: TIA!
 
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I was in the same boat. I was streching my texturizer (at the time it had been 8mths since I had a perm) and couldnt decide if I wanted to be natural or texturized. I decided to continue texturizing. I have been natural before and really didnt want to cut my hair at this point. I might go back to being natural in the future, but right now I'm enjoying being texturized. As far as the transition process, braidouts and wigs were my saving grace. I think w/ braidouts you have to keep doing them. It took me months to master my braidouts. The main thing that I've learned a/b doing braidouts is that the more braids you have the tighter the curls will be; but if you have less braids, the looser it will be.

Good Luck w/ your decision.
 
No one can answer for you, but when I was in your boat my thought was " mid I give up now I will end up back here some day and hate myself for being here twice" I bought a wig and never looked back.
 
Have you thought about getting braids, twists, weaves or any long term protective style?
What was your reason for transitioning?
 
You have to answer that question, really. It's easy for us to pick one of the choices, but you should ask yourself, how important is being natural to you?

Also, I think it will save a lot of transitioner some trouble, if you accept that your hair's health is going to trump a sleek style. You've got too much going on for your hair to try to make it fight against what it wants to do. Your new growth is going to start taking over and you have to deal with it and keep pushing, or relax.

In my experience, and other's I've read, you'll do yourself a favor by opting for style to blend your relaxed hair into your new growth instead of trying to blend new growth in to straight hair. Try straw sets. You can even take failed braidouts and make cute texured buns.
 
Why don't you get box braids or another long term style like MsDee14 suggested. Or even just slicking your hair in a bun. I did both and did not have to ever really deal with the two textures other than on wash day. I never had the urge to BC or relax because I wasn't getting frustrated with managing my hair.
 
At 7.5 months in you should just get some braids or a curly sew-in and stop thinking about your hair for awhile.

I think you would be regretful if you ended up relaxing at this point. You will have the feeling of defeat and then you'd just start all over again.

If natural is what you want and you want to do the long term transition look at some of your natural hair idols who did a long-term transition for motivation.
 
pelohello said:
I was in the same boat. I was streching my texturizer (at the time it had been 8mths since I had a perm) and couldnt decide if I wanted to be natural or texturized. I decided to continue texturizing. I have been natural before and really didnt want to cut my hair at this point. I might go back to being natural in the future, but right now I'm enjoying being texturized. As far as the transition process, braidouts and wigs were my saving grace. I think w/ braidouts you have to keep doing them. It took me months to master my braidouts. The main thing that I've learned a/b doing braidouts is that the more braids you have the tighter the curls will be; but if you have less braids, the looser it will be.

Good Luck w/ your decision.
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pelohello

ITA w the bolded. Even though I'm transitioning without a BC, the thought of loosing any length when I'm almost at BSB makes me wanna cry :cry:

Blairx0 said:
No one can answer for you, but when I was in your boat my thought was " mid I give up now I will end up back here some day and hate myself for being here twice" I bought a wig and never looked back.
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MsDee14 said:
Have you thought about getting braids, twists, weaves or any long term protective style?
What was your reason for transitioning?
Click to expand...

@msdee & @Blairx0

I was natural until 3 years ago and I NEVER had my hair out. I would PS, braid and weave so often that most people who went to HS and middle school with me had never seen my real hair until graduation. So since then, I've just wanted to enjoy my loose, real hair
 
Your Cheeziness said:
You have to answer that question, really. It's easy for us to pick one of the choices, but you should ask yourself, how important is being natural to you?

Also, I think it will save a lot of transitioner some trouble, if you accept that your hair's health is going to trump a sleek style. You've got too much going on for your hair to try to make it fight against what it wants to do. Your new growth is going to start taking over and you have to deal with it and keep pushing, or relax.

In my experience, and other's I've read, you'll do yourself a favor by opting for style to blend your relaxed hair into your new growth instead of trying to blend new growth in to straight hair. Try straw sets. You can even take failed braidouts and make cute texured buns.
Click to expand...

Your Cheeziness
I think this is my problem. My main priority when it comes to hair is that it should be easy to manipulate into a cute style. As long as this requirement is met and it's my own loose hair, I really don't care whether it is natural or chemically treated. I think I may need sometime to regroup before I try some curly styles again.

Austro-Afrikana said:
Why don't you get box braids or another long term style like MsDee14 suggested. Or even just slicking your hair in a bun. I did both and did not have to ever really deal with the two textures other than on wash day. I never had the urge to BC or relax because I wasn't getting frustrated with managing my hair.
Click to expand...

Austro-Afrikana
How were you able to keep the bun looking nice all day?

Lynnerie said:
At 7.5 months in you should just get some braids or a curly sew-in and stop thinking about your hair for awhile.

I think you would be regretful if you ended up relaxing at this point. You will have the feeling of defeat and then you'd just start all over again.

If natural is what you want and you want to do the long term transition look at some of your natural hair idols who did a long-term transition for motivation.
Click to expand...

Lynnerie
This is what I'm afraid of. I'd hate for these last few months to have been a waste. I'm looking at natural hair "idols" but that hasn't done much for me since the problems they had with their hair aren't the same as mine.
 
bosswitch said:
@Your Cheeziness
I think this is my problem. My main priority when it comes to hair is that it should be easy to manipulate into a cute style. As long as this requirement is met and it's my own loose hair, I really don't care whether it is natural or chemically treated. I think I may need sometime to regroup before I try some curly styles again.
Click to expand...

Gotcha. Well, in that case, my vote is you should do what fits your lifestyle best of quick styling. You can find transitioning styles that are low maintenance, but you'll have to be prepared to deal with the trial and error until you master it. If that's not an option, I say just relax and keep it pushing.
 
NappyNelle said:
Well, what are your reasons for transitioning?
Click to expand...

Off the top of my head:

-Sometimes I'll find myself in regions where I have to drive 12 hours to find a hair salon that does relaxers and it might not even be a good one :nono: The thought of having to make the journey just for hair sickens me

-I love my curls and I really can't wait to do wash n gos (my hair is too short for that right now)

-The versatility for styling
 
bosswitch said:
I need your opinions ladies...

I began my transition almost 7.5 months ago (long term transition) but I'm having the urge to relax/texurize. I'm trying to move towards styling my hair everyday but it's been really hard trying to get both textures into a nice, sleek style. I'm very frustrated with the amount of time it takes me to straighten my hair (2-3 hours :nono:) only for it to revert within a few hours. Braidouts,twistouts and rollersets are not an option for me because they never turn out properly and I don't think I have the time or patience to try again or learn new styles right now. I've also thought about BKT-ing using a BKT alternative but the ones I'm looking at are $$$ and I don't want expose myself to some of those products until they're in use for a few more years. So here are the options I have:

1) Relax again
2) Texlax
3) BKT
4) Continue with the transition

If you were in my position, which would you choose? If you choose "4)Continue with the transition", please give me some pointers, cause I'm H.A.M. with my transition right now :sad: TIA!
Click to expand...
You have to ask YOURSELF, "what is/was my motivation for going natural?" I personally do not understand why ladies that want to be natural (meaning the hair the way is grows out of their scalp) go and "soften or straighten" their hair texture permanently/semi-permanently with Keratin treatments. I've seen so many horror stories (on here and elsewhere) that state that this has the potential to destroy your curl pattern. If you feel you have lost motivation, no longer want to stretch then go ahead and relax. You've pushed 7 mths and that's a long time but if you're no longer motivated for whatever reason, go ahead and do what makes you comfortable.
 
Oh, ok. I agree that hiding your hair for a bit will help, because you may be causing damage to your hair by straightening it for a 'sleek' look. I used a similar method as Austro to get a sleekish :giggle: bun while transitioning. I also wore braids and out styles because I didn't really care for the sleek look. (My head is a weird shape so I need volume :lol:)

Here's a bun using S-Curl and EVOO:

P1010012-vi.jpg


P1010009-vi.jpg


I would also make a braid:

P1010036-vi.jpg


I hope that encourages you. If not, I would become a DIY relaxer. I do not trust stylists, especially if I have to travel as far as you do to find a mediocre one.
 
I agree with the others who say you need to assess your reasons for wanting to go natural. Also think about what styles you would wear as a natural.

When I was natural I loved wearing wash n go's but they were bad for my ends. I hated the way I looked in twists and it took hours to straighten my hair and it would revert the same day. I decided texlaxing was best because I still have texture and can wear a wash n go without getting knots, it doesn't take me long to straighten, and I can easily rollerset.

But you have to do whats best for you just make sure you are taking good care of both textures cause by the time I reached 9 months into my transition I HAD to chop cause my relaxed ends were a broken mess.
 
@Lynnerie

What do you use to texlax? Are there any threads that helped you decide which texlaxer/texturizer you would use?

Congrats on the wedding BTW :grin:
 
I agree with Lynnerie. I'm a WnG girl, and my frizzy hair was driving me nuts. I wasn't feeling the way my hair looked in twist out's/braid out's, and I'm not a heat fan. On top of that, I'm too lazy for styling. What I loved best about my relaxed hair was the ability to brush my hair in the morning, and KIM. For that reason I texturized, and I'm back to benign neglect. :lol:

You have to figure out for yourself how you want your hair to be. Cause when you're fully natural, you're going to have to know how to care for it. If you don't wanna do all that then you can texturize/texlax, and have the best of both worlds. I'm not a fan of the BKT...:nono:
 
Your Cheeziness said:
You have to answer that question, really. It's easy for us to pick one of the choices, but you should ask yourself, how important is being natural to you?

Also, I think it will save a lot of transitioner some trouble, if you accept that your hair's health is going to trump a sleek style. You've got too much going on for your hair to try to make it fight against what it wants to do. Your new growth is going to start taking over and you have to deal with it and keep pushing, or relax.

In my experience, and other's I've read, you'll do yourself a favor by opting for style to blend your relaxed hair into your new growth instead of trying to blend new growth in to straight hair. Try straw sets. You can even take failed braidouts and make cute texured buns.
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^^^^^THIS!

once you give up words like "sleek", "smooth", "straight"....you are in business.

if you can't give up those words, relax and get on with it. no judgements here. i ain't gonna be mad atcha. :)

i JUST posted the other day that i want to relax. i am 13 months post and i am sick ta death of two textures....however, i gave up words like sleek, etc. about 8 months ago. ain't gonna happen.

do what cheezi said. try some styles that do not require you to blend new growth of curly hair with straight hair. stop frying your hair with the flat iron. it's not worth it.:look:

one day i was gonna straigthen my hair a few months ago and i just stopped myself and put my hair back in a curly pony. i asked myself "why are you gonna put your hair through all that drama? when it will be frizzy in a day?":drunk:

when i want straight hair, i rock a wig or a weave.:lol:

don't get me wrong, i have my days (like yesterday) when i want to just cut my losses and go back to relaxing. but then i try to remind myself of why i am transitioning in the first place. i want longer healthier hair than i have now...so i press on.
 
I say continue with your transition. Over 7 months post is nothing to sneeze at! :grin:

Do curly styles as suggested or find a natural salon and get a good press/flat iron every few months.

Good luck with whatever you decide! :)
 
I went nine months and ended this past Sunday. I had a bad hair day with a bun. I had an Afro for a bang and all my hair pulled back also wanted to be puffy. I had also been going through problems washing doing all that was suggested and trying different products to no avail. Still not sure if I did the best thing but right now I am happy. My goal was to achieve thicker hair by stretching relaxers but along the way felt like i could just go ahead and go natural. I tried different hair styles none that looked good to my liking except straight which was reverting. I liked the braidout much better surprisingly on my relaxed hair. The only time my hair was thick was when wet and my hair is a 4ab type. When straight it was still almost as thin as when relaxed. So I tried not to feel bad at my "defeat" and now I am armed with better information to keep my relaxed hair healthier.
 
bosswitch said:
@Lynnerie

What do you use to texlax? Are there any threads that helped you decide which texlaxer/texturizer you would use?

Congrats on the wedding BTW :grin:
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Thanks bosswitch

I use Silk elements Mild to texlax for 7 minutes. I use the shea butter formula and this is the same relaxer I used when I was relaxed bone straight but I used regular back then.

I did alot of research on whether to BKT, heat train, texturize, or texlax.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=131009

The texlaxed support thread is a very good thread and the OP in that thread compiled all the threads on texlaxing. I went through each one with a fine-toothed comb. It took me several months to make a decision.

I was going to use the Just for me texture softener and did a lot of research on that here and on BHM-I didn't see anyone with my hair type use it and have good results consistently. Plusits no lye and that usually gets my hair too straight. I didnt go the texturizer route cause I wanted to be on the straighter-side of texlax. I didn't want to still deal with the knots.

Check out the thread I posted and let me know if you have any other questions.
 
Lynnerie said:
Thanks bosswitch

I use Silk elements Mild to texlax for 7 minutes. I use the shea butter formula and this is the same relaxer I used when I was relaxed bone straight but I used regular back then.

I did alot of research on whether to BKT, heat train, texturize, or texlax.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=131009

The texlaxed support thread is a very good thread and the OP in that thread compiled all the threads on texlaxing. I went through each one with a fine-toothed comb. It took me several months to make a decision.

I was going to use the Just for me texture softener and did a lot of research on that here and on BHM-I didn't see anyone with my hair type use it and have good results consistently. Plusits no lye and that usually gets my hair too straight. I didnt go the texturizer route cause I wanted to be on the straighter-side of texlax. I didn't want to still deal with the knots.

Check out the thread I posted and let me know if you have any other questions.
Click to expand...

What is your hair type? I use the just for me texture softener kit and get very consistent results and I'm 4a. I have about an inch of bonelaxed ends but otherwise my hair comes out the same texture each time.

Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF. *sigh* auto correct
 
irisak said:
What is your hair type? I use the just for me texture softener kit and get very consistent results and I'm 4a. I have about an inch of bonelaxed ends but otherwise my hair comes out the same texture each time.

Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF. *sigh* auto correct
Click to expand...

irisak I'm a 4a too. I'm glad it is working for you. I was probably just scared of it since I didn't see anyone using it that had my hair type at the time.
 
I won't tell you what to do I but your questions made me think a little. Some people have a lot of reasons for becoming natural and some people become natural for no reason at all. I don't see any pressure to be natural or relaxed. You can wear your hair however YOU enjoy it. You mentioned a lot of things you can't do with your hair, you mentioned one thing you are thinking of trying your hair. I think its important that you have one thing established that you know how to do do you hair, works and you would be happy with. That might be a perm, or braids, afro, puff or someone straightening your hair more efficiently than you can. When I became natural it was the result of wearing my hair how I liked wearing it(in braids)and that's the point to me:having hair you like at least half the time. I encourage you to find style you like with the way your hair is now, and if you can't then you have already identified alternatives you're are willing to try.
 
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Don't give up. You are knee deep now. Like you, I enjoy straight styles and curly as well. While I am only a two month transitioner and have yet to reach a point of frustration, I can understand how you feel. I do not like 85% of the natural styles on my hair and have to be creative in my styles. I chose the natural route because I want to be chemical free but not to give up my straight styles 100%. Maybe try roller sets or maybe even the curlformers. I do like wash and go's and ponytails because they are mega easy. Hang in there though!
 
Flexirods, perm rods, straws, braids, and wigs were my friend. During that time I learned how to make wigs myself. Accessories help a lot too. I suggest you continue, but only you know if that is the right choice. :drunk:
 
You could transition until you are comfortable chopping then lightly texlax to get jessica freeman curls I love love LOVE her hair
 
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