Bad experiences going natural?
- Thread starter Xerxes
- Start date
bellydancer
New Member
i can't really think of anything bad. When I first wore my natural hair out I did hear a few negative comments and that made me keep it braided up and hidden for a whole year until I gained some confidence and wore it out again. Except this time I got so many compliments. Uh... let's see what else is bad. oh yea i think that it was difficult learning how to deal with my natural hair. Natural is not better or worse than relaxed hair. It's just DIFFERENT. I had to find all new products and had to handle my hair differently to avoid tangling. It wasn't a pleasant experience at first, but once I figured out what worked I was fine.
Xerxes
Well-Known Member
Your point #4 hit a nerve!! I have already noticed just from the hair growing along my hair line that my natural hair appears to have no curl definition whatsoever and is just as kinky as it wants to be! LOL
I definitely need to work on accepting my napps and even loving them! /images/graemlins/grin.gif
I definitely need to work on accepting my napps and even loving them! /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Xerxes
Well-Known Member
Ahhh, honey, we're all insecure and even if you had type 1 hair that was so long you tripped over it when you walked, you'd still be upset about another aspect of your body! /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif
Men are simple creatures and there's always one out there who will like you no matter what you look like, but you liking him is a whole other story! LMAO
Anyhow, I have the same concerns about my own attractiveness, but I've always worried about how appealing I was despite my hair style so this is nothing new! LOL
My solution for now that I could offer to you would be to focus on your face and style of dress. Once you start taking care of all of you, you know, pampering yourself and enjoying all of who you are, that's when men will flock to you and try to become major distractions. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Men are simple creatures and there's always one out there who will like you no matter what you look like, but you liking him is a whole other story! LMAO
Anyhow, I have the same concerns about my own attractiveness, but I've always worried about how appealing I was despite my hair style so this is nothing new! LOL
My solution for now that I could offer to you would be to focus on your face and style of dress. Once you start taking care of all of you, you know, pampering yourself and enjoying all of who you are, that's when men will flock to you and try to become major distractions. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
brittanynic16
Well-Known Member
Xerxes
Well-Known Member
Forget about that man who made fun of your hair, he's not worth mentioning. Has anyone told you that you were gorgeous and almost timeless looking? Very few people have those qualities, keep that feeling of "supreme certainty" and not to sound too ghetto, but do you, boo! /images/graemlins/grin.gif
deeshortesthair
Member
I actually have people in the bss come up to me and ask what productis i use to make my hair shiny , I also have a Dominican girl in the office and a weave wearer hopping in on the natural band wagon, I wish now that I'd done this sooner...I also feel free when it is drizzling or when I'm was trying to be romantic ...no wet permed hair to be worried about . Plus now the cutest most soulfull men are attracted to me , men who do not care about material things just about spirituality and being themselves and what's going on in my head not on it.I've never been happier with my appearence.
ChildlikeEmpress
New Member
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You are just too funny!!! I'll look out for the white guys and your hair is just so lovely! You've definitely gotten the hang of styling it since your BC. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
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Well... thanks for the compliment. /images/graemlins/kiss.gif And I was serious about the white guys. The topic came up fairly often on a natural board I used to visit, and about two weeks ago, a white co-worker sneaked up behind me and patted my hair. He smiled and said, "I'm sorry. It had to be done." Since he's a nice guy who seems to have a harmless crush on me, I just let it go.
Oh, and that kind of reminds me of something else you might have to get used to. While I was perming, no one really said anything about my hair. Now, I get lots of compliments and "What do you use in your hair?" type questions. (I also get asked fairly often if my hair is texturized, which is the LAST thing I ever expected.) It caught me so off-guard that, at first, I felt more embarrassed than flattered by all the new attention I was getting. Now, I'm finally getting used to extolling the virtues of Neutrogena Triple Moisture and unrefined coconut oil. *g*
In any case, good luck!
~Rochelle. /images/graemlins/Rose.gif
You are just too funny!!! I'll look out for the white guys and your hair is just so lovely! You've definitely gotten the hang of styling it since your BC. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
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Well... thanks for the compliment. /images/graemlins/kiss.gif And I was serious about the white guys. The topic came up fairly often on a natural board I used to visit, and about two weeks ago, a white co-worker sneaked up behind me and patted my hair. He smiled and said, "I'm sorry. It had to be done." Since he's a nice guy who seems to have a harmless crush on me, I just let it go.
Oh, and that kind of reminds me of something else you might have to get used to. While I was perming, no one really said anything about my hair. Now, I get lots of compliments and "What do you use in your hair?" type questions. (I also get asked fairly often if my hair is texturized, which is the LAST thing I ever expected.) It caught me so off-guard that, at first, I felt more embarrassed than flattered by all the new attention I was getting. Now, I'm finally getting used to extolling the virtues of Neutrogena Triple Moisture and unrefined coconut oil. *g*
In any case, good luck!
~Rochelle. /images/graemlins/Rose.gif
I felt the same way about my hair when it was fully relaxed. It was always frizzy regardless if there was humidity in the air or not. And my new growth was always shiner, healthier, and smoother than my relaxed hair. So I said to myself "why am I paying so much and wasting so much time to abuse my hair?"
I am currently 15 weeks post relaxer and I am loving my hair texture! I love wearing buns and seeing my curls come in. Want to know my regimen? Water with CWs on a daily basis.
I am currently 15 weeks post relaxer and I am loving my hair texture! I love wearing buns and seeing my curls come in. Want to know my regimen? Water with CWs on a daily basis.
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
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The first time I tried to go natural in 1996-1997, I had an bad experience with a male co-worker who kept harassing me about my hair and making fun of it. Because he was black, I tried to be patient, but finally I had to stop that crap. I filed a complaint against him. Of course, he stopped harassing me and later transferred to another location. This was a mostly black office and people got mad at me for filing a complaint against a "brother." That incident left a bad taste in my mouth and I returned to the relaxers. I guess I wanted to fit in again.
Then when I tried to go natural again in 2000, don't ask me why, but I had NO bad experiences. I loved my hair at 2 inches, and I had fun with it then and I continue to have fun with it now. I was determined that I was going to be natural, and maybe this feeling of supreme certainty and confidence shielded me from taking in any negative vibes from the outside. NOBODY bothered me.
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u shouldnt have let one person make u go back to relaxing if thats something you didnt want to do...
The first time I tried to go natural in 1996-1997, I had an bad experience with a male co-worker who kept harassing me about my hair and making fun of it. Because he was black, I tried to be patient, but finally I had to stop that crap. I filed a complaint against him. Of course, he stopped harassing me and later transferred to another location. This was a mostly black office and people got mad at me for filing a complaint against a "brother." That incident left a bad taste in my mouth and I returned to the relaxers. I guess I wanted to fit in again.
Then when I tried to go natural again in 2000, don't ask me why, but I had NO bad experiences. I loved my hair at 2 inches, and I had fun with it then and I continue to have fun with it now. I was determined that I was going to be natural, and maybe this feeling of supreme certainty and confidence shielded me from taking in any negative vibes from the outside. NOBODY bothered me.
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u shouldnt have let one person make u go back to relaxing if thats something you didnt want to do...
thatscuteright
Well-Known Member
When I first went natural, I was VERY self-conscious and did not feel attractive.I loved the texture and softness of my hair, but hated the shortness,I felt that it made me look like a boy. I covered my hear in head wraps for 6 months.
My hair grew tremendously, but because I didn't really know what I was doing, I went to the salon to have it "evened" out and the barber lef tme nearly bald.
I started braiding and have accumulated alot of hair.
I hate going to the salons and feel really self-conscious when I am around alot of blacks,but I do love my hair, its just so beauiful to me, and I can't wait for it to get bigger.
I wear my hair out in twist outs, and I wear braids when I am in school.
My hair grew tremendously, but because I didn't really know what I was doing, I went to the salon to have it "evened" out and the barber lef tme nearly bald.
I started braiding and have accumulated alot of hair.
I hate going to the salons and feel really self-conscious when I am around alot of blacks,but I do love my hair, its just so beauiful to me, and I can't wait for it to get bigger.
I wear my hair out in twist outs, and I wear braids when I am in school.
alibi
hair bored
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*Transitioning period was difficult for me b/c my hair was so long and my relaxed ends were bone straight.
*I have been wearing my hair back for a year and a half and I am quite sick of it.
*I am not yet completely comfortable wearing my curls out.
*I am still learning how to care for MY hair.
*I worry that I am no longer attractive to men.
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OMG, hairlove, get out of my haed!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel!!! I was at a party last night, wondering if I would be more attractive to the men there if my hair was straight, which I can't do in Miami w/o a relaxer! I'm so tired of my bun, but until I BC I don't know what else to do with my hair! I'm not yet comfortable with my curls at all, and I'm CONVINCED that my hair is going to look like a jheri curl when this is all over with, which has me very freaked out as well!!! /images/graemlins/perplexed.gif
*Transitioning period was difficult for me b/c my hair was so long and my relaxed ends were bone straight.
*I have been wearing my hair back for a year and a half and I am quite sick of it.
*I am not yet completely comfortable wearing my curls out.
*I am still learning how to care for MY hair.
*I worry that I am no longer attractive to men.
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OMG, hairlove, get out of my haed!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel!!! I was at a party last night, wondering if I would be more attractive to the men there if my hair was straight, which I can't do in Miami w/o a relaxer! I'm so tired of my bun, but until I BC I don't know what else to do with my hair! I'm not yet comfortable with my curls at all, and I'm CONVINCED that my hair is going to look like a jheri curl when this is all over with, which has me very freaked out as well!!! /images/graemlins/perplexed.gif
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