A New Voice -The Fathers of Abortion

Nice & Wavy

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This is a topic worthy of discussion but not for debating and/or tearing down. Please, keep it civil. Thanks.



A New Voice in the Abortion Debate

Albert Mohler

January 10, 2008


A new voice is emerging in the abortion debate, and this voice is a powerful witness to the tragedy of killing the unborn. This voice is the voice of the fathers of abortion.


"We had abortions … I've had abortions," says Mark B. Morrow, a Christian counselor and participant in arranging four abortions. Morrow was speaking to a gathering of men who have become antiabortion activists through reflection on their own experiences and their own lost children.

Stephanie Simon of The Los Angeles Times provides a report on this new movement in "Changing Abortion's Pronoun," published in the January 7, 2008 edition of the paper. Here is her introduction to the story:

Jason Baier talks often to the little boy he calls Jamie. He imagines this boy -- his son -- with blond hair and green eyes, chubby cheeks, a sweet smile. But he'll never know for sure. His fiancee's sister told him about the abortion after it was over. Baier remembers that he cried. The next weeks and months go black. He knows he drank far too much. He and his fiancee fought until they broke up. "I hated the world," he said. Baier, 36, still longs for the child who might have been, with an intensity that bewilders him: "How can I miss something I never even held?"

That question haunts many men, as Simon's report makes clear. These men are raising their voices against abortion and the Culture of Death, and they call themselves "post-abortive men." As Simon explains, "Abortion is usually portrayed as a woman's issue: her body, her choice, her relief or her regret. This new movement—both political and deeply personal in nature—contends that the pronoun is all wrong."

The concept of "post-abortion syndrome" has gained currency in recent years as women who have experienced abortions speak of their trauma and pain. As the paper's story acknowledges, these reports of post-abortion pain and deep distress were cited in the U.S. Supreme Court's decision allowing the government to ban partial-birth abortions.

The focus on the voices of men is new, but it reveals again that abortion takes a toll on all concerned, including those who are the fathers of aborted babies. The stories vary with the individuals involved. Some of these "post-abortive men" demanded and facilitated the abortion, others never knew of the pregnancy until it was too late.
And as Simon’s article vividly describes, the deep regret by men over an abortion may come later in life:

Morrow, the counselor, described his regret as sneaking up on him in midlife -- more than a decade after he impregnated three girlfriends (one of them twice) in quick succession in the late 1980s. All four pregnancies ended in abortion. Years later, when his wife told him she was pregnant, "I suddenly realized that I had four dead children," said Morrow, 47, who lives near Erie, Pa. "I hadn't given it a thought. Now it all came crashing down on me -- look what you've done." A few months ago, Morrow reached out to the ex-girlfriend who aborted twice. They met and prayed together, seeking peace. After they parted, she spilled her anger in a letter: "That long day we sat in that God-forsaken clinic, I hoped every moment that you would stand up and say, 'We can't do this'... but you didn't."

"Look what you've done." Those words come with a haunting sense of reality, guilt and grief. These voices are also causing concern among abortion rights advocates. As Simon reports:

Abortion rights supporters watch this latest mobilization warily: If anecdotes from grieving women can move the Supreme Court, what will testimony about men's pain accomplish? "They can potentially shift the entire debate," said Marjorie Signer of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, an interfaith group that supports abortion rights.

We can only respond with the hope that she is right. While the primary focus of the pro-life movement should be on the unborn baby who deserves to be born, a focus on the effects of abortion on both the women and the men involved holds the potential of reaching more minds and hearts.

A new voice is being heard in the abortion debate—and it's about time.
 
Wow...that is a very powerful article.

I think many times, the man is forgotten in the whole abortion debate...to read about the remorse and heartbreak these men are feeling was eye opening for me.

But hindsight is 20/20...the counselor who told his story knew exactly what he was doing when he impregnated three women and then went with them to the clinic. While his pain is very real, I wish he'd valued those children's lives this way before termination.
 
Wow...that is a very powerful article.

I think many times, the man is forgotten in the whole abortion debate...to read about the remorse and heartbreak these men are feeling was eye opening for me.

But hindsight is 20/20...the counselor who told his story knew exactly what he was doing when he impregnated three women and then went with them to the clinic. While his pain is very real, I wish he'd valued those children's lives this way before termination.

ITA. Now, the counselor, like so many other people, knows what they are doing and the value is not there at the time. Most people in these situations are desperate, but for selfish reasons....SELF.

Now, this counselor, has to deal with the consequences of what he has done. But, the good thing is...he is helping so many other people by sharing what he has experienced and his regret for doing this so many years before.

Wasn't it something when he said that later on when he got married and was having a baby...then his eyes were OPENED and he was able to see that he already had 4 other children. He recognized that those were his children...not just blobs of something. I started crying when I read that because how many of us realize things only when our eyes are opened because of a situation...most times its too late then and then we are left with painful memories.

But, thank you Jesus! He is the healer of our broken hearts and our painful memories. He is our very present help in time of need!

Thanks for your post!
 
Good article. I like Albert Mohler. He's a supporter of Candice Watters and Debbie Maken, and very pro-family formation.


The most telling part of this article was when the ex-girlfriend of the counselor said that when they went to the clinic, she hoped he would step in and say, "We can't do this," but he didn't.

Based on the experiences of women I know who've had abortions, they've done so because they didn't feel any security in their situation -- as in, they weren't prepared for the probability of raising a child alone. The boyfriend might have said, "I'll support whatever decision you make," or, "Hey, we can try to make this work," but what they REALLY needed was some strong, real talk.

Maybe something like, "Look, this pregnancy may have come unplanned, but I love you and I love our child and I want us to be a family. Let's get married and have this child."

I bet just that level of devotion and commitment alone would make the abortion rate plummet instantly.

But that can't happen if you have couples that barely know each other getting sexually involved so that marriage isn't even a thought if the woman becomes pregnant, or if the man makes empty promises like, "Okay, let's make this work," but he shows nothing through his actions (still hangs out with the boys too much, doesn't get another job/go back to school/etc.), then the woman might feel more pushed to get an abortion.

Now, I'm pro-choice in that I don't think government should make laws restricting abortion (and I know we're not debating... I'm just putting my thoughts out there). However, I hate hearing that someone has gone through an abortion... and I think that if more fathers want to prevent their unborn children from being aborted, the best thing they can do is step uyp to the plate and make a commitment to the mothers of said children.
 
A v.e.r.y. stirring article. Very stirring....and needed.

Excellent thread Precius Wavy...:up:
 
Good article. I like Albert Mohler. He's a supporter of Candice Watters and Debbie Maken, and very pro-family formation.


The most telling part of this article was when the ex-girlfriend of the counselor said that when they went to the clinic, she hoped he would step in and say, "We can't do this," but he didn't.

Based on the experiences of women I know who've had abortions, they've done so because they didn't feel any security in their situation -- as in, they weren't prepared for the probability of raising a child alone. The boyfriend might have said, "I'll support whatever decision you make," or, "Hey, we can try to make this work," but what they REALLY needed was some strong, real talk.

Maybe something like, "Look, this pregnancy may have come unplanned, but I love you and I love our child and I want us to be a family. Let's get married and have this child."

I bet just that level of devotion and commitment alone would make the abortion rate plummet instantly.

But that can't happen if you have couples that barely know each other getting sexually involved so that marriage isn't even a thought if the woman becomes pregnant, or if the man makes empty promises like, "Okay, let's make this work," but he shows nothing through his actions (still hangs out with the boys too much, doesn't get another job/go back to school/etc.), then the woman might feel more pushed to get an abortion.

Now, I'm pro-choice in that I don't think government should make laws restricting abortion (and I know we're not debating... I'm just putting my thoughts out there). However, I hate hearing that someone has gone through an abortion... and I think that if more fathers want to prevent their unborn children from being aborted, the best thing they can do is step uyp to the plate and make a commitment to the mothers of said children.

I do agree with your post. If there was enough love for LIFE within us for each other, we would see less abortions...there will be more people having a chance at their life.

Thank you for your post. You have said some powerful words here too!
 
Good article. I like Albert Mohler. He's a supporter of Candice Watters and Debbie Maken, and very pro-family formation.


The most telling part of this article was when the ex-girlfriend of the counselor said that when they went to the clinic, she hoped he would step in and say, "We can't do this," but he didn't.

Based on the experiences of women I know who've had abortions, they've done so because they didn't feel any security in their situation -- as in, they weren't prepared for the probability of raising a child alone. The boyfriend might have said, "I'll support whatever decision you make," or, "Hey, we can try to make this work," but what they REALLY needed was some strong, real talk.

Maybe something like, "Look, this pregnancy may have come unplanned, but I love you and I love our child and I want us to be a family. Let's get married and have this child."

I bet just that level of devotion and commitment alone would make the abortion rate plummet instantly.

But that can't happen if you have couples that barely know each other getting sexually involved so that marriage isn't even a thought if the woman becomes pregnant, or if the man makes empty promises like, "Okay, let's make this work," but he shows nothing through his actions (still hangs out with the boys too much, doesn't get another job/go back to school/etc.), then the woman might feel more pushed to get an abortion.

Now, I'm pro-choice in that I don't think government should make laws restricting abortion (and I know we're not debating... I'm just putting my thoughts out there). However, I hate hearing that someone has gone through an abortion... and I think that if more fathers want to prevent their unborn children from being aborted, the best thing they can do is step uyp to the plate and make a commitment to the mothers of said children.

ITA! I believe that if men would step up to the plate and take responibility in where they deposit their seeds then this wouldn't really be an issue. People are so against abortion, but have no solutions when it comes to who is going to take care of these unwanted children. As far as the black community is concerned, we don't even adopt our own or we become foster parents to collect a check. I know of a lot of people that will quit their job to become a foster parent and have children coming out of their home like a revolving door.
It kills me seeing men in front of abortion clinics shoving pamphlets to women instead of talking to them about helping them, getting these women into programs, counseling, other options instead. That counselor impregnated women four times and now that he is married and settled down, now he cares, please not buying it!
 
ITA! I believe that if men would step up to the plate and take responibility in where they deposit their seeds then this wouldn't really be an issue. People are so against abortion, but have no solutions when it comes to who is going to take care of these unwanted children. As far as the black community is concerned, we don't even adopt our own or we become foster parents to collect a check. I know of a lot of people that will quit their job to become a foster parent and have children coming out of their home like a revolving door.
It kills me seeing men in front of abortion clinics shoving pamphlets to women instead of talking to them about helping them, getting these women into programs, counseling, other options instead.
That counselor impregnated women four times and now that he is married and settled down, now he cares, please not buying it
!

Well, at least he was willing to come forth and say that he did make a terrible mistake and that he is paying a price for his mistake at this time. There are so many people that don't take responsibility for their actions, and for him to do that to me, is huge.
 
Good article. I like Albert Mohler. He's a supporter of Candice Watters and Debbie Maken, and very pro-family formation.


The most telling part of this article was when the ex-girlfriend of the counselor said that when they went to the clinic, she hoped he would step in and say, "We can't do this," but he didn't.

Based on the experiences of women I know who've had abortions, they've done so because they didn't feel any security in their situation -- as in, they weren't prepared for the probability of raising a child alone. The boyfriend might have said, "I'll support whatever decision you make," or, "Hey, we can try to make this work," but what they REALLY needed was some strong, real talk.

Maybe something like, "Look, this pregnancy may have come unplanned, but I love you and I love our child and I want us to be a family. Let's get married and have this child."

I bet just that level of devotion and commitment alone would make the abortion rate plummet instantly.

But that can't happen if you have couples that barely know each other getting sexually involved so that marriage isn't even a thought if the woman becomes pregnant, or if the man makes empty promises like, "Okay, let's make this work," but he shows nothing through his actions (still hangs out with the boys too much, doesn't get another job/go back to school/etc.), then the woman might feel more pushed to get an abortion.

Now, I'm pro-choice in that I don't think government should make laws restricting abortion (and I know we're not debating... I'm just putting my thoughts out there). However, I hate hearing that someone has gone through an abortion... and I think that if more fathers want to prevent their unborn children from being aborted, the best thing they can do is step uyp to the plate and make a commitment to the mothers of said children.

I know some of us got dumped on for our views on unwed mothers in regular schools in that other thread. But, I really believe that the black community was much better off when such a large percentage of our kids were not beign born out-of-wedlock to teen parents. I think if the community held the expectation that if you get a girl pregnant, you marry her had take care of your family then much of the disorder in our communities will go away.

I had a similar conversation with some folks about out-of-wedlock pregnancies when I was in grad school. They told me I had been listening to those Catholics for too long. I told them to look at it this way: God proscribes appropriate behaviors because He knows what is good for us. Ya'll can't seriously sit here and say the increase in single mother households has been good for the black community. The silence I got back was deafening.
 
Good article. I like Albert Mohler. He's a supporter of Candice Watters and Debbie Maken, and very pro-family formation.


The most telling part of this article was when the ex-girlfriend of the counselor said that when they went to the clinic, she hoped he would step in and say, "We can't do this," but he didn't.

Based on the experiences of women I know who've had abortions, they've done so because they didn't feel any security in their situation -- as in, they weren't prepared for the probability of raising a child alone. The boyfriend might have said, "I'll support whatever decision you make," or, "Hey, we can try to make this work," but what they REALLY needed was some strong, real talk.

Maybe something like, "Look, this pregnancy may have come unplanned, but I love you and I love our child and I want us to be a family. Let's get married and have this child."

I bet just that level of devotion and commitment alone would make the abortion rate plummet instantly.

But that can't happen if you have couples that barely know each other getting sexually involved so that marriage isn't even a thought if the woman becomes pregnant, or if the man makes empty promises like, "Okay, let's make this work," but he shows nothing through his actions (still hangs out with the boys too much, doesn't get another job/go back to school/etc.), then the woman might feel more pushed to get an abortion.

Now, I'm pro-choice in that I don't think government should make laws restricting abortion (and I know we're not debating... I'm just putting my thoughts out there). However, I hate hearing that someone has gone through an abortion... and I think that if more fathers want to prevent their unborn children from being aborted, the best thing they can do is step uyp to the plate and make a commitment to the mothers of said children.

Well said!
 
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