Naturals that went back to relaxing, any regrets?

coolsista-paris · Sep 28, 2014

Perfexion said:
I'm so glad I came on the board today and found this thread. I'm sitting in my bathroom now with a box perm trying to decide if I'm really throwing in the towel after 3 years of being natural. I'm only half way through the thread but I've already decided to go through with it. I went natural because I thought it was healthier and I really thought I was going to have hair like naptural85- big and shiny and thick, and I was going to always have it in some awesome natural style. Well 3 years later and I have yet to pull off a successful braid out, or twist out, I can't cornrow to save my life and I've worn my hair in bun styles so long that my hair line is starting to break off and thin. I also wear wash n gos and puffs but I don't have to tell you what a nightmare that is to detangle! I dread wash day! I never had this problem when I was relaxed. As a matter of fact, I went one summer where I washed my hair every day and wore wet buns and my hair went from shoulder length to bra strap length in 3 or 4 months. My natural hair has been stuck at shoulder length since last September. I was trying to find a new regimen for length retention and the answer seems to be to spend MORE time on my hair. I can't do it. It's gotten to the point where I hate my hair now. I used to love doing my hair. Now it just seems like a chore. I got my hair professionally straightened a month ago and it took 2 people ripping through my hair and a million watts of heat to get it straight. I wanted to get it done again though because my hair looked amazing when they were done, but I don't want to go through that experience again. So I'm relaxing my hair. I feel like a quitter and I probably will regret it at some point but I'll get over it eventually. I need to fall in love with my hair again.

this is why i relaxed after 6 years being natural.
in was fed up, and i wanted a change like " now "
i told myself "its just hair , have fun do want you want and if i want to switch back, i'll just do it"

besides i was so mad at my hair that i felt like shaving it! (anger)
so i did it, i was sooooooo happy. i had fun with it, not for long but it was still fun.

im transitionning i guess (10 month post) but you never know .... if i feel like doing something i will go for it . we only live once

mz.rae · Sep 28, 2014

Perfexion said:
I'm so glad I came on the board today and found this thread. I'm sitting in my bathroom now with a box perm trying to decide if I'm really throwing in the towel after 3 years of being natural. I'm only half way through the thread but I've already decided to go through with it. I went natural because I thought it was healthier and I really thought I was going to have hair like naptural85- big and shiny and thick, and I was going to always have it in some awesome natural style. Well 3 years later and I have yet to pull off a successful braid out, or twist out, I can't cornrow to save my life and I've worn my hair in bun styles so long that my hair line is starting to break off and thin. I also wear wash n gos and puffs but I don't have to tell you what a nightmare that is to detangle! I dread wash day! I never had this problem when I was relaxed. As a matter of fact, I went one summer where I washed my hair every day and wore wet buns and my hair went from shoulder length to bra strap length in 3 or 4 months. My natural hair has been stuck at shoulder length since last September. I was trying to find a new regimen for length retention and the answer seems to be to spend MORE time on my hair. I can't do it. It's gotten to the point where I hate my hair now. I used to love doing my hair. Now it just seems like a chore. I got my hair professionally straightened a month ago and it took 2 people ripping through my hair and a million watts of heat to get it straight. I wanted to get it done again though because my hair looked amazing when they were done, but I don't want to go through that experience again. So I'm relaxing my hair. I feel like a quitter and I probably will regret it at some point but I'll get over it eventually. I need to fall in love with my hair again.

Omg what you described is how i am feeling to a tea. I feel like my natural hair is way weaker than my relaxed hair . And i hate wash days and doing my hair now and wash day. My hair always looks like crap unless i straighten it.

ckisland · Sep 28, 2014

How did I miss this thread :lol:

?!

I relaxed my hair back in December, after 6 years of being natural, and about 2 years of considering going back to relaxers. It was the shrinkage that did me in finally. I didn't have problems with detangling or styling, but seeing all my length shrivel away pissed me off :evil:

. I had also mastered straightening my hair and I enjoyed how low maintenance it was!!

Well I relaxed in December, and absolutely hated it!! My hair now too 2x the work every week than my natural hair. As a natural I could throw my hair up in some style and forget about it, but with relaxed hair I stayed paranoid about maintaining protein-moisture balance. I was relaxed for about 14 weeks, and what drove me to do a super BC, was the texture of my relaxed hair. It was horrible!! Even after a touch up with a new relaxer and processing my hair even longer, my hair was so rough, kinky, and tangled :nono:

. My natural hair is so much softer, and my straightened natural hair was much smoother, softer, and prettier than the relaxed version.

While relaxing again was a terrible mistake, I wish I had transitioned instead of BC'd :sad:

. coolsista-paris is definitely doing it the better way :lol:

. Now I'm strongly considering becoming a predominately straight-haired natural, and I soooo could have done that with relaxed ends

sugaplum · Sep 28, 2014

Yes i was natural for 10 years then i relaxed my hair. Now i did the BC because i missed my natural curly hair so much.

Crackers Phinn · Sep 28, 2014

I've got a few posts early on in this thread. I was natural for 3 years, then relaxed for 3 years and am natural now again for guess how long...3 years. I don't have any intention of relaxing again because I have discovered the joys of deep invisible part lace front wigs and that's got the relaxer bug out of my system indefinitely.

I would advise anybody who has the itch to relax to just do it. There's nothing worse than that nagging feeling that it could be easier every time you detangle your natural hair. If you relax and love it, then everything is lovely. If you don't like it, believe me when you return to natural, that nagging feeling doesn't come back.

H0tPinkButtafly · Sep 29, 2014

I'm almost 11 months into my transition and I'm thinking about texlaxing

H0tPinkButtafly · Sep 29, 2014

Wash n Go: http://youtu.be/rKTa4Pu_dWI

Hope these links work. .. Makes me want to texlax

H0tPinkButtafly · Sep 29, 2014

HOW I TEXLAX MY WAIST LENGTH HAIR: http://youtu.be/rmI9CD1UEDU

Lynnerie · Sep 29, 2014

I texlaxed after 3 years being natural and loved it at first. Then it became difficult to do retouches and my curls were more like waves. It was hard for me to manage the new growth and I had a lot of breakage. I also missed my natural hair so I did what I said I'd never do again ...the BC. The good thing about relaxing is it let me know that natural hair is for me. I don't get tempted to relax or texlax anymore.

coolsista-paris · Sep 29, 2014

ckisland said:
How did I miss this thread ?! I relaxed my hair back in December, after 6 years of being natural, and about 2 years of considering going back to relaxers. It was the shrinkage that did me in finally. I didn't have problems with detangling or styling, but seeing all my length shrivel away pissed me off . I had also mastered straightening my hair and I enjoyed how low maintenance it was!! Well I relaxed in December, and absolutely hated it!! My hair now too 2x the work every week than my natural hair. As a natural I could throw my hair up in some style and forget about it, but with relaxed hair I stayed paranoid about maintaining protein-moisture balance. I was relaxed for about 14 weeks, and what drove me to do a super BC, was the texture of my relaxed hair. It was horrible!! Even after a touch up with a new relaxer and processing my hair even longer, my hair was so rough, kinky, and tangled . My natural hair is so much softer, and my straightened natural hair was much smoother, softer, and prettier than the relaxed version. While relaxing again was a terrible mistake, I wish I had transitioned instead of BC'd . coolsista-paris is definitely doing it the better way . Now I'm strongly considering becoming a predominately straight-haired natural, and I soooo could have done that with relaxed ends

hey journey twin! ( natural for the same time , relaxed at the same time, went crazy at the same time : i transitionned you bc)! lol

i cuth hair several times and im back to apl. yayy
it is encouraging. i might be retaining ( i never detangle with combs, i finger detangle). seems to be working.

il gonna learn to be a straight natural... i hope it works!!!

ps: let your hair gro back and have fun while its short. plus: you are pretty with short hair . really! ;-)

keep me informed of your hair progress

coolsista-paris · Sep 29, 2014

H0tPinkButtafly said:
I'm almost 11 months into my transition and I'm thinking about texlaxing

lol oh gosh. ii had that thought for a while . but i think i will mess up my fine hair by not having sale results.

this is all tricky

ckisland · Sep 29, 2014

coolsista-paris said:
hey journey twin! ( natural for the same time , relaxed at the same time, went crazy at the same time : i transitionned you bc)! lol

i cuth hair several times and im back to apl. yayy
it is encouraging. i might be retaining ( i never detangle with combs, i finger detangle). seems to be working.

il gonna learn to be a straight natural... i hope it works!!!

ps: let your hair gro back and have fun while its short. plus: you are pretty with short hair . really! ;-)

keep me informed of your hair progress

We're journey twins for real :cheers:

!!!
Girl, I am soooo over short hair. Never ever ever again will I do hair above SL!!! It was so fun the first time around, and now it's boring me to death. I plan on being a straight natural too!! Have you started using heat yet, or are you going to wait until your transition is complete?? Definitely keep me updated! :yep:

SuchaLady · Sep 29, 2014

I agree with the posters mentioning the time it takes. My relaxed hair took less than 20 minutes on wash day not counting DC time. It now takes me like an hour to shampoo, detangle, and apply conditioner. I am not here for this. Im returning to my relaxer I just dont know when. My issue is that Im a big hair hider so realistically it kinda doesnt make sense for me to relax so I guess Im going to be a big stretcher.

H0tPinkButtafly · Sep 30, 2014

coolsista-paris said:
lol oh gosh. ii had that thought for a while . but i think i will mess up my fine hair by not having sale results.

this is all tricky

Yea.... you have to figure out how long to leave the relaxer on to get the results u want.... That's one of the reasons iv haven't done it yet

coolsista-paris · Oct 1, 2014

ckisland said:
We're journey twins for real !!! Girl, I am soooo over short hair. Never ever ever again will I do hair above SL!!! It was so fun the first time around, and now it's boring me to death. I plan on being a straight natural too!! Have you started using heat yet, or are you going to wait until your transition is complete?? Definitely keep me updated!

i feel you. i find short hair sexy ( i was about to get a pixie before transitionning back).. every one told me i will struggle to grow back well because of differents lengths so i just transitionned,

i flat irroned this past weekend.
i ponytail rollersetted the ends.
then i flat ironned the roots . i used little product ànd it came out straight. i deep conditionned very well first. my hair was not dry at all after flat iron.
im at 3 days and its not dry.

i flat ironned just this past weekend! i need to learn a lot to not mess up my hair , get mad and then do something stupid by anger... lol

lenu80 · Oct 1, 2014

I'm considering going back mainly because of lack of styling. I'm twa so little styles and too much work. I have an interview today and wondering if twists are okay. I already have a wig to wear.

Saludable84 · Oct 1, 2014

coolsista-paris said:
lol oh gosh. ii had that thought for a while . but i think i will mess up my fine hair by not having sale results. this is all tricky

If it's not breaking now then it might not with texlaxing, but I'm not encouraging. Just saying. Your hair is fine so I would t play with it.

Stormy · Oct 1, 2014

lenu80 said:
I'm considering going back mainly because of lack of styling. I'm twa so little styles and too much work. I have an interview today and wondering if twists are okay. I already have a wig to wear.

You can pull and tie your twists back. I'm doing an interview workshop tomorrow for a university and that's what I'm going to suggest. Using myself as an example. :yep:

Edited to add: Oh and I just noticed this was today! LOL! So... how did it go and what did you decide?

Whimsy · Oct 1, 2014

Dunno if I ever posted here.
I relaxed, in January, and then touched up in May.
I'm officially transitioning back to 100% natural.
Don't regret doing it, but definitely missing my curls.
These straight pieces look all....wrong.

::shrug::

ckisland · Oct 2, 2014

I can't get the straightening itch out of my system, so I decided to look into the Beautiful Textures TMS. From the results on youtube, and the posts about it here, I'm going to go for it (if I can find it tomorrow :look:

). I'm praying that this gives me the look and maintenance I've been missing.

coolsista-paris · Oct 2, 2014

Saludable84 said:
If it's not breaking now then it might not with texlaxing, but I'm not encouraging. Just saying. Your hair is fine so I would t play with it.

lol thanks. im afraid because i have fine hair.
if my hair was thick i might have been relaxed all the time... or texlaxed. but nope, too risky

coolsista-paris · Oct 2, 2014

Whimsy said:
Dunno if I ever posted here. I relaxed, in January, and then touched up in May. I'm officially transitioning back to 100% natural. Don't regret doing it, but definitely missing my curls. These straight pieces look all....wrong. ::shrug::

you are another fast transitionner lol ... recent my relaxed and already transitionning, just like me lol

coolsista-paris · Oct 2, 2014

ckisland said:
I can't get the straightening itch out of my system, so I decided to look into the Beautiful Textures TMS. From the results on youtube, and the posts about it here, I'm going to go for it (if I can find it tomorrow ). I'm praying that this gives me the look and maintenance I've been missing.

i dont even know what that is!

ckisland · Oct 2, 2014

coolsista-paris said:
i dont even know what that is!

The Beautiful Textures Texture Manageability System

http://youtu.be/hKHWlWx8F5E

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=725647&highlight=beautiful+textures+tms

I'm excited to try it out :yep:

Saludable84 · Oct 2, 2014

coolsista-paris said:
lol thanks. im afraid because i have fine hair. if my hair was thick i might have been relaxed all the time... or texlaxed. but nope, too risky

Yeah. Just leave it alone. I wouldn't recommend. My stands are thick so I guess that why I still have hair on this head as much as it's been through, but if I had fine hair, I wouldn't be as experimental.

coolsista-paris · Oct 2, 2014

Saludable84 said:
Yeah. Just leave it alone. I wouldn't recommend. My stands are thick so I guess that why I still have hair on this head as much as it's been through, but if I had fine hair, I wouldn't be as experimental.

im gonna stay a chicken lol . no weird expériments for me. i even thought if bkt treatments or protein treatments. ...
my hair loves protein .

Saludable84 · Oct 2, 2014

coolsista-paris said:
im gonna stay a chicken lol . no weird expériments for me. i even thought if bkt treatments or protein treatments. ... my hair loves protein .

Is there anything you can do that doesn't involve direct heat?

ckisland · Oct 2, 2014

Yeah, if I didn't have these coarse strands, I would have screwed myself like 10 times by now :lachen:

. I never appreciated it until relaxing twice back to back, and being reckless with a cranked up flatiron, but experiencing no heat damage :spinning:

.

Speaking of :lol:

!! I got my hands on the TMS (the African Pride one, but I think they're the same with different boxes), and did my hair!!!! It feels how a fresh relaxer should, sooooooo smooth and silky :blondboob !! I just keep praying that it will actually last me a week :pray:

SunRai Naturals · Oct 3, 2014

I have fine strands & at first I was concerned about breakage but now Im not. I'm going to make sure my hair is kept moisturized & I will keep protein in it. My strategy for length retention of relaxed hair is going to be similar to my regimen now as a natural. Protect with a cornrow base (crochet, wigs, weaves) for 10-12 weeks & then relax again. Im sure Ill have to trim more than I do now just for aesthetics when I wear my hair out. Im not going for bone straight but I dont want texlaxed either.

coolsista-paris · Oct 3, 2014

Saludable84 said:
Is there anything you can do that doesn't involve direct heat?

well, i can only stretch... but heat didnt of bad on my hair when i was natural . as long as it was well done, protected the hair before.

i guess i will have to use heat if i want to be a straightened natural :-/

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