White girl calling my hair nappy

[cocoberry10]

I definitely would have checked the mess out of her

I guess I don't personally see "nappy" hair as a bad thing, but the connotation she used was negative, inappopriate and disrespectful IMO, and that's why I would have her ar$e!!!!!!!!!!

 

[graCeful_89]

Yall be letting some of these polar bears get away with murder!!!

STOP ITTTT hahaha.


On the real though, I can see what she meant. She thinks she can say that cause her child is biracial. Like she has some kind of free pass or something! Shoot, I'd be just as mad if a black person said that to me! It does have negative connotations attached to it, and the way she said it was anything but positive. I would have been all up in her face like -

 

[cecilie]

i agree you should have in a polite way tell her that you were offended.. dont let her get away with that. I mean some ppl dont see the word as negative but some ppl do and that should be explained to her.

I agree with Inches 411 , I live in Belgium and sometime my coworker told me" strange " things about black people and if I'm offended I tell them and I feel better . Okyour friend is biracial but maybe she not realised that she hurt you ...
PS : I dind'nt know that he word nappy has a negative connotation can you explain me why?
I 'm french speaker ...

 

[Christa438]

I don't think she meant it ''like that''

...
I'll never forget the day dh's aunt came over and my dd had just woken up from a nap, so her hair was a frizzy and messy. She told my daughter ''Ooooh girl, your hair is nappy''
...

This is how I think of nappy. But I don't think OP's friend meant it like that. In so many words, she said the stylist didn't know how to do your kind of nappy hair. I know for a fact, stylists with clients of other races definitely deal with frizzy and messy hair many times. She was talkin about the texture. I have never had a friend of the opposite race use that word towards my hair. Im thankful for that because the truth is I would've been real hot about it. Where other people don't mind being called nappy or may take it as a compliment, I don't like to be called nappy at all by any person. But family and friends have used the word towards me in my past and I know they weren't trying to or didn't mean to hurt me. I never have cared for that word though.
Like someone pointed out, many people use the word whether they are black or not. Putting color aside and focusing more on what friendship is about--The bottom line is if it aint cool with you, let her know. If she is really your friend, she'll respect you. Some friends play around but words such as nappy, boney, fat, nasty and ugly can still hurt. I had a friend in the past and she kindly let me know she really didn't like the b-word even in playing so I was like "oh, my bad" and I never called her that again and i could understand where she was comin from. I respected her and cared about her like I'd want her to respect and care about me.

 

[pazyamor]

What's really funny is she apparently only dates African American men, hmm...but anyway, I feel really sorry for her narrow outlook on life and I hope she knows when, where, and with whom to talk crazy to because let it be somebody who had my mother as a mother and it would have been on and poppin'...

 

[Highly Favored8]

What does she know

She is just jealous of your hair thats all! How Mean and Disrespectful!

 

[KenyafromCT]

Ok so I am at work and comment on my white friends new hair color. You know I was asking where did she go and who did it. I also mentioned I would like to get my own hair highlighted . Well she takes it upon herself saying " well I don't know if she knows how to do your kind of hair " , " I don't think she will know how to deal with your nappy hair" . I had to catch myself, cause 1. I was at work, and 2. this coworker and I are close outside of work where as her Dad calls me his other daughter. What also shocked me is she has a biracial child!!!!!

Did I say I wanted this lady to style my hair ..... no , and if i did get it colored I would style it myself since I have yet to meet someone white black or green, who could do my natural hair.

Why does my hair have to be nappy? The word Nappy has such negative connotations ......... sorry yall I had to vent!!!!

This is why I don’t mess with them like that. The racism is ingrained so deeply. So viciously and don’t inhale before they say it. If you wait long enough, they will show you who they are.

I follow many biracial adults on Tik Tok. Their videos highlight the racism and abuse by their white mothers. It’s both tragic and fascinating because I’ve always said it existed(in FB discussion) and people would speak to me incredulously! Stating “Thatis impossible, they are mothers who love their children no matter the color!”

These videos also discuss the fact that biracial children with black mothers fare far better.