THE LAST STRAW- VERY LONG RANT

C

calliope

Well-Known Member
Well, I just came from the salon and did ok on the "Stand up for our hair" challenge. However, I am still so mad that I am going to join the "no salon" challenge. It started out ok when I got there except for the usual- got there on time (1p) didn't leave until evening (4:45p). So, yes, I had to wait about half an hour to start. Right away my hair stylist eyes the bag of goodies that I have with me (conditioners, combs, etc.) and feels threatened. Then, I have to argue with him over what relaxer to use- I want Design Essentials mild and he wants to use what everyone else is using -Affirm regular. There is nothing wrong with Affirm, but my hair does better with mild formulas. So, he goes off in a huff and I win that battle. Next, he starts going over my hair as he bases it- thank God I based it myself before I went- and says "Oh, I HAVE to trim your hair or those dead ends will just split up the shaft." I say no. He continues. I say no thanks. He gets all huffy and starts for the relaxer. I tell him to start from the middle, don't relax my nape, and do the front edges last (last time he did them first and I almost had a heart attack). This heifer then proceeds to bend down and tell me that I should not tell him how to do his job and that he can't do my hair with me constantly telling him what to do. I proceed to tell him that it's my hair and that I've lived with it for the past 26 years and know what is good for it and what is not. Furthermore, I've spent a long, damn time growing it out to this length and intend to keep it. That shut him up. Everything went great until, you guessed it, the heat issue. He wanted to blow dry, flat iron, marcel and I said no, just roll me up and put me under and don't use setting lotion. He said that if he didn't use it it would take longer to dry and I said I don't care. So what did he do, he used the pump wrap lotion when I was none the wiser. When I got out from under, my hair was crunchy like straw. He was trying to finish someone else when I came out and I didn't want to talk to him over her head. I had someone else take out my rollers and I left. Why should I pay for this ish and attitude every two months? I'm taking control and doing my own relaxers from no on. I'm taking a picture the next time I walk by because I'm going to need it to remember what a salon looks like.
 
I'm glad you stood up for yourself! :clap:

Lol @ you referring to him as a 'heifer' :lol:

I think I'm going to try to give up salons too.
 
Good for you! Unfortunately, I think that AA salons are gonna go out of business. Many of them have very bad business skills. They are late and have u in there ALL day. The hair doesnt even come out that great when they are done. Half the time I wouldnt want to be caught dead by anyone I know wearing one of their styles. I am very happy that u stood up for yourself. I want to relax my own hair too, but I am scared. Do u know how u are going to learn to self-relax?
 
Actually, I just went over London Diva's tutorial on self-relaxing and that is the method that I'm going to try. She goes step and step and really gives great tips - and it doesn't look like it costs $80 plus a tip to do it :)
 
LOL! Good for you. When you said heifer I thought you were talking about a woman! See this is why I don't go to salons anymore. Folks think they know everythang!
 
Congradulations! Join the club. I quit going to the salon a LOOOONG time ago. Wasnt worth me being there all day long when I can do the same things that they are doing in half the time and for less than a third of the money.
 
Good for you for standing up to that "heifer"! :lol: There is absolutely no reason why he should not have been able to listen to what you want and DO IT! You are concerned with the health of your hair and he is concerned about his ego. In a situation like that, you did the best thing.

Stand your ground! :clapping:
 
Good luck. I think you were very brave to stand up for yourself. I still remember my last visit to the salon and I am never golf.myseing back. Like others have said, I can make my hair fall out all by myself.
 
Toni A. said:
Good for you for standing up to that "heifer"! :lol: There is absolutely no reason why he should not have been able to listen to what you want and DO IT! You are concerned with the health of your hair and he is concerned about his ego. In a situation like that, you did the best thing.

Stand your ground! :clapping:
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This man was unprofessional. He's supposed to do what you want, not what he wants to do. Good for you for standing your ground. More power to you.
 
I hate you had to deal with that. I wish everyone could have a beautician like mine. She ask me, What I want and how I want it!
 
I stopped going to salons a long time ago. After waiting for a hour, the last time I went my hairdressers told me "Honey, I am to tired to do anything but wash, blow and go." He made this statement with his hands on his hips in the middle of the floor. Other customers laughed. I just got up from the chair, got my coat and left. I know their are good hairdresser but they are hard to find in boston.
 
calliope said:
Well, I just came from the salon and did ok on the "Stand up for our hair" challenge. However, I am still so mad that I am going to join the "no salon" challenge. It started out ok when I got there except for the usual- got there on time (1p) didn't leave until evening (4:45p). So, yes, I had to wait about half an hour to start. Right away my hair stylist eyes the bag of goodies that I have with me (conditioners, combs, etc.) and feels threatened. Then, I have to argue with him over what relaxer to use- I want Design Essentials mild and he wants to use what everyone else is using -Affirm regular. There is nothing wrong with Affirm, but my hair does better with mild formulas. So, he goes off in a huff and I win that battle. Next, he starts going over my hair as he bases it- thank God I based it myself before I went- and says "Oh, I HAVE to trim your hair or those dead ends will just split up the shaft." I say no. He continues. I say no thanks. He gets all huffy and starts for the relaxer. I tell him to start from the middle, don't relax my nape, and do the front edges last (last time he did them first and I almost had a heart attack). This heifer then proceeds to bend down and tell me that I should not tell him how to do his job and that he can't do my hair with me constantly telling him what to do. I proceed to tell him that it's my hair and that I've lived with it for the past 26 years and know what is good for it and what is not. Furthermore, I've spent a long, damn time growing it out to this length and intend to keep it. That shut him up. Everything went great until, you guessed it, the heat issue. He wanted to blow dry, flat iron, marcel and I said no, just roll me up and put me under and don't use setting lotion. He said that if he didn't use it it would take longer to dry and I said I don't care. So what did he do, he used the pump wrap lotion when I was none the wiser. When I got out from under, my hair was crunchy like straw. He was trying to finish someone else when I came out and I didn't want to talk to him over her head. I had someone else take out my rollers and I left. Why should I pay for this ish and attitude every two months? I'm taking control and doing my own relaxers from no on. I'm taking a picture the next time I walk by because I'm going to need it to remember what a salon looks like.
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Here's a long story very short.

I've had relaxer after relaxer, hairstylist after hairstylist. My grandma used to do my hair as a child and it was long, thick, full and healthy. When she passed my mother had no idea what to do with my hair, so it was relaxed, jerri curled, braided, pulled, combed cut, you name it. This process went on FOR YEARS and what's so funny was I would always go back to the braided extensions and my hair would grow like weeds.

And every time I got any type of length, confused, not knowing what do do, I'd straighten it out and relax and curl and cut and I'd be right back to square one. Now what did I learn? When I did my hair in the braided extensions and twists MYSELF, my hair was always the better for it.

Forget 99% of these salons. I don't care if they have a license, especially the black salons. It's NOT worth it to your hair. Go for cuts at a reputable salon when you need to but overall haircare should be with you and not a stylist
 
Why do a lot of these stylist give have to give a client grief over having her hair done the way she wants it. It is really ridiculous! At the end of the day, you have to go home and contend with your hair (that same said stylist won't be there to deal with the woes of what they have done). And no, it's not a matter of doing his job for him, but after all that a lot of us have been through we have a right to stand up and not to let you sabatoge our progress. When we go to a stylist, we need to let them know that is would be a privelage for them to work on our hair since it was a conscious choice we made to go to them--and you (the stylist) have but one chance to make or break that deal. If my stylist (whom I love) ever acts like that it will be over and I make it a point to learn how to self relax.

Girl, I am proud of you for walking out of that place after what he put you through (probably wants to be a Queen)
 
Some salons are trifling. Remember back in the day they would do everything and work on one person at a time until they were through? They would wash, condition, dry and style. Now they wash your hair and have you sitting in an assembly line with a plastic cap on with water dripping down the back of your neck. I have not been to a salon in years
 
Good for you Girl! :clapping: I'm so glad you stood up for yourself instead of letting the stylist do what he wanted to do and ending up w/ damaged hair that you've worked so hard to care for!
 
Congrats girl, Im glad you stood up for yourself. I won't be returning to a stylist either. I plan to self-relax for the 1st time this Wednesday
 
I plan to keep on self-relaxing, next touchup due in a week. It is not worth the time, headache, money and LOST HAIR to go to a salon.
 
I'm glad you stood up for yourself. One thing that I think is wrong with most black salons is that their is no real manager so there is no one to report bad things too. I was reading Allure magazine and they were saying that if your stylist does something you don't like to report them to the manager, well most AA salons have an owner and the stylists are independent contractors who rent a chair, so there is no chain of command and no one to take responsibility.

Also, because a lot of black women are clueless about how to take care of their own hair AA salons know that they will always have a customer no matter how bad they treat them because they (a lot of bw) don't know how to do anything to their own hair. I know that there are bw who don't even wash their own hair EVER!!! :eek: If a stylist isn't doing it, it's not getting done.
 
Good for you!!! No one knows your hair the way you do! I stopped going to salons for about 3 years, and was self-relaxing. However about 5 months ago I found a great hair care specialist (Pearl) in Austin, and she listens to me and my hair, and she is very prompt with her schedule....I have never waited longer than 5 minutes. Unlike pass disappointments with other hair salons, I have always left this salon loving the healthy feeling and look of my hair.
 
Thanks for your words of encouragement ladies- I had to pay the price of ignorance (him applying tons of pump setting lotion without my knowledge) by pulling each piece apart carefully and watching handfuls of hair fall on the floor- I haven't had that much shedding since before i joined the board. Well, I called the "manager" this morning to let him know that he has lost my services and he was falling all over himself to make it up to me by me coming in for a "treatment" or something. I just laughed in his face :lachen: (on the phone) and said that I would never let ANYONE touch this head again. I mean, come on, even my HUSBAND isn't allowed to touch my hair, why oh why would I let a complete stranger? Anyhoo, if this shedding doesn't stop the ladies of LCHF just might see Calliope in front of Judge Judy or Judge Milian, or Mathis, or whoever I can get on one of these days :) . Seriously, ladies I'm tired of turning a blind eye to some of the practices that I've seen in salons- 1 inch trims while the client is reading a magazine, slow moving girls applying relaxers while they gab to the person next to them, cradeling phones (not always cordelss) as they color, and giving two inches worth of retouch to someone who came in 4 weeks post. Even home places can be a nightmare- the lady who did my hair out of her house growing up would cook and smoke (once my mom left) when she did me and my sisters hair. We always smelled like smoke and my usually outspoken mother would say nothing. It's almost like stylists are doctors to us- were scared to say anything and scared to speak up because they know best and we don't want to die. But it is killing us and I'm just not taking it anymore. Now, (climbing down from my soapbox) does anyone in the Philly area know where I might be able to purchase Design Essentials products? I tried looking online last night, but they won't sell it to us mere mortals for fear that we might actually do a good job.
 
HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE!

You did not pay? You just walked out? You didn't say anything at all? You didn't scream get an attitudue?

BBBBBBAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

LOL! WOW THATS AMAZING!

I know he looked like BOO BOO the FOOL.
 
No TML,
I paid- he did 90% of what I wanted, which was a struggle of course, and he almost had me in his corner right up until the end with the setting lotion and the rollers. He wanted me to let him take out the rollers himself ( he kept looking over his shoulder when I kept saying I would take them out myself) and said that he wanted to go over the curls with his Devil Iron. At this point I had been waiting in a chair next to him about 20 min while he abused some other womans hair with his instruments of torture -while it sizzled and smoked :eek: . All I could think was that if I didn't get the @3$* out of there I would be next. So, since he was working on someone, I decided to hold it in, pay my "debt" - render unto Caesar what is Caesar's- got some lazy-looking girl to take them out right in front of him and I left looking like Little orphan Annie on crack. Those curls were tight and crunchy and I was pissed. But, it was sweet knowing that I would never pay a stylist again- I know now that I don't need him:moon: like he previously made me think that I did. No, sorry to disappoint you- I paid, but for the last time.
 
Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!!! :shocked: You didn't mention before about the Devil Iron.

I don't go to the salon enough anymore to know what that is. But just the name of it says to me, "Run!! Get up out of that chair and run!!" :lachen:

Toni A.
 
wow good for you, I stopped going to stylists years ago . Now that I can do it myself I have become somewhat lazy with the whole process, I really have to kick that lazy habit to the curb before I end up relying on stylists again. :nono:
 
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