A question regarding those who....

[skegeesmb]

Choose to alter their hair via blowdryer, brushing frequently to achieve a strecthed out look, pressing, texturizing, or relaxing?

When we think of natural do we automatically assume a 4a/b hairtype? Is this what we characterize as "African textured hair"? What about all the mixing that has gone on which has given us an array of hairtypes that fit right down the line of the fine one of a 3bc/4a?

Is there a difference when a type 3 wants to texturize their hair compared to a type 4 that wants to texturize?

Or is it just color that makes a difference? Is it because we are black when we relax we automatically are put into the "I want more Caucasian hair" or "I hate myself" so I'm going to relax or press.

What about the women who don't have one definate hairtype that falls distinctly into the 4's? What does that mean? Does it mean they relax because they hate themselves, or because they don't have a certain type of "African textured" hair well they have that choice?

When is it okay as a black person to do anything other than "washing and going", or is it "you're black", you need to just wear your hair as it is when you wash it, let it dry like that, and show the world what you got? Do we get the chance to wear our hair other than wet without it seeming like we are hiding from being black? Is it ever okay?

Is straight hair the enemy? Is anything other than tightly coiled hair the enemy? How do you feel about those who either don't fit the tightly coiled hair, or those who refuse to wear their hair wet and out?

 

[Chyna Red]

I think that natural means no texture altering chemicals... so yes, one can have naturally straight hair, naturally, curly hair,or naturally nappy hair... it's all the same...natural...

 

[pookeylou]

I am not really sure I understand your question...but I will answer as best I can.

I love natural hair because of the styles you mentioned. I do not object to straight hair...I just dont want to use chemicals to get it. I cannot use a hot comb (bad memories) but the thought of a warm flat iron does cross my mind when I envision my 24 inches of hair I will have hopefully in the future.

I am all for wearing our hair how we want to wear it...but not if the style means possibly sacrifing your health.

 

[pebbles]

[ QUOTE ]
skegeesmb said:
When we think of natural do we automatically assume a 4a/b hairtype? Is this what we characterize as "African textured hair"? What about all the mixing that has gone on which has given us an array of hairtypes that fit right down the line of the fine one of a 3bc/4a?



[/ QUOTE ]

Sometimes I get the feeling some folks don't realize that black people have all different kinds of natural hair types. It's not just type 4 that constitutes "real" black hair.

 

[Isis]

[ QUOTE ]
When is it okay as a black person to do anything other than "washing and going", or is it "you're black", you need to just wear your hair as it is when you wash it, let it dry like that, and show the world what you got? Do we get the chance to wear our hair other than wet without it seeming like we are hiding from being black? Is it ever okay?

[/ QUOTE ]

It is always ok as a black person (or any person) to do anything he or she wants to do to his/her hair.

 

[dwsplaymate]

My natural hair is curly and nappy is the best way to describe it. My hair is very thick, and a mass of nappy curls. If I didn't relax then I'd be looking a hot mess everyday. There's really no such thing as 'washing and going' for me. . .label me as hating myself if u want to, but my hair is just unmanageable and I will always relax, unless a better technique comes out or something. I'm glad you started this thread, I'm interested as to what others truly, honestly believe about it, and about those of us who relax.

 

[karezone]

The last time I saw my natural hair was around the 3rd grade and for a while when I was in middle school. Then I thought that my natural hair was just hard to comb, not unmaneagable or ugly, just hard to comb. It is very thick and bushy in its natural state.
Getting a relaxer made it easier for my Mom and Grandma to comb. I would go natural now if I could transition completely in braids. I mean like go 2-3 years in braids and then just bust out with 12-13 inches of natural hair. But due to expense that is not possible for me so I continue to relax and make due.

 

[skegeesmb]

[ QUOTE ]
skegeesmb said:
Choose to alter their hair via blowdryer, brushing frequently to achieve a strecthed out look, pressing, texturizing, or relaxing?

When we think of natural do we automatically assume a 4a/b hairtype? Is this what we characterize as "African textured hair"? What about all the mixing that has gone on which has given us an array of hairtypes that fit right down the line of the fine one of a 3bc/4a?

Is there a difference when a type 3 wants to texturize their hair compared to a type 4 that wants to texturize?

Or is it just color that makes a difference? Is it because we are black when we relax we automatically are put into the "I want more Caucasian hair" or "I hate myself" so I'm going to relax or press.

What about the women who don't have one definate hairtype that falls distinctly into the 4's? What does that mean? Does it mean they relax because they hate themselves, or because they don't have a certain type of "African textured" hair well they have that choice?

When is it okay as a black person to do anything other than "washing and going", or is it "you're black", you need to just wear your hair as it is when you wash it, let it dry like that, and show the world what you got? Do we get the chance to wear our hair other than wet without it seeming like we are hiding from being black? Is it ever okay?

Is straight hair the enemy? Is anything other than tightly coiled hair the enemy? How do you feel about those who either don't fit the tightly coiled hair, or those who refuse to wear their hair wet and out?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry it's a lot of questions in one post.

Each question is a different question. Some questions might jump out at some, while others will jump out to someone else.

 

[TrustMeLove]

I agree with someone else that its never just ok with other people to do what you want to do with your hair because someone else will always have something to say or try to stop you from doing what you want to do.

(i.e. when white folks wear dreads) I have something to say and I wish they would stop it..I feel this way when their dreads look like crap just ugh ugh ugh(all the dreads ive seen look like crap)..it doesn't look like our dreads its not cute..stop it.

But we just have to do what we want to do regardless of what others think.

Im relaxed because its the hair that i've learn how to take care of ever since ive been old enough to take care of my hair. Thats like around 6th grade. Ive actually gotten braids ever since I was little.

I had this regimen Braid..Relax. Rest..Braid..Relax..Rest

I have relaxed hair and I condition wash every 2 days my hair isn't long enough for a decent ponytail and i dont have time to do a braid out every day so i let it dry hanging down and leave it like that.

Its not straight or anything its kind of crinkly espcially with my new growth and its looking pretty busted and people still have something to say regardless. Why don't you flat iron your hair why don't u curl it why dont u braid it why do you..MIND UR BUSINESS.. HUH

So nappy or straight im safe no where.

-Faye

 

[Kaela]

I've been thinking about this post and I wasn't sure how to address the questions, but I'm just going to throw in something here.

When I think of natural hairSTYLEs, I automatically think of 4ab hair. A lot of styles that I think look beautiful on natural hair are on 4a/b type hair (small waves, curls, puffs, twists) because they flatter that hairtype and make the most of its structure.
I have never seen photos or anyone in person with styles that make the most of "my" hairtype (since, it doesn't really fall into the common categories anyway).
For example, I think the afro puff ponytail looks so good on many women. But, mine would never have that shape like that, it just would be floppy and frizzy

In the last couple years, I texturize my hair in a manner that, if I airdry it properly, it has a wavy/curly look to it. I think that if I saw someone or met someone that was my hair twin 'natural', I would know what styles I'd be able to achieve with my texture.

I guess part of the journey of going natural is discovering that for yourself though, but I think it helps when there are others to provide you guidance and instruction because their hair is like yours.

 

[aikaa71]

Choose to alter their hair via blowdryer, brushing frequently to achieve a strecthed out look, pressing, texturizing, or relaxing? I choose to relax.

When we think of natural do we automatically assume a 4a/b hairtype? I think of natural hair as hair that has not been processed. I have a friend with natural 3a/b hair. My sister is a natural 4a/b.

Is this what we characterize as "African textured hair"? I have seen a number of Africans who have type 3 hair, some are not mixed with anything, just black. What about all the mixing that has gone on which has given us an array of hairtypes that fit right down the line of the fine one of a 3bc/4a? Some of my relatives are mixed and their hair is type 4a/b

Is there a difference when a type 3 wants to texturize their hair compared to a type 4 that wants to texturize? No difference to me since both would be putting a chemical in their hair.

Or is it just color that makes a difference? Is it because we are black when we relax we automatically are put into the "I want more Caucasian hair" or "I hate myself" so I'm going to relax or press. I don’t think so. I relax because I like my hair relaxed, I do not want my hair to be like Caucasian hair. I actually love to see my new growth, I like the texture. I have seen some Asian women at the beauty shop who get their hair relaxed. I have always wondered why but was too shy to ask.

What about the women who don't have one definate hairtype that falls distinctly into the 4's? What does that mean? Does it mean they relax because they hate themselves, or because they don't have a certain type of "African textured" hair well they have that choice? For me, Relaxing is just a styling option.
When is it okay as a black person to do anything other than "washing and going", or is it "you're black", you need to just wear your hair as it is when you wash it, let it dry like that, and show the world what you got? Do we get the chance to wear our hair other than wet without it seeming like we are hiding from being black? Is it ever okay? In my opinion, this is an individual choice. You can choose what you want to do with hair. I have to spend time to do hair whether its natural or straight, just like I need to brush my teeth every day. I spend time to do my face, my nails and like to dress smart, so my hair has to compliment my total look.

Is straight hair the enemy? Is anything other than tightly coiled hair the enemy? How do you feel about those who either don't fit the tightly coiled hair, or those who refuse to wear their hair wet and out? I do not feel different differently, hair is beautiful straight or tightly coiled. I admire black women with healthy straight hair and those with healthy tightly coiled hair. I am glad I took the initiative to find the hair boards and I have learnt how to take care of my hair. I do not think women who know how to take care of their hair “hide” behind their hair.

 

[ccd]

Aikii71 very well said...and skee thanks for posting your thoughts...I guess I couldn't bring myseld to answer your questions right away because you mention and bring up so many good points it was overwhelming for me.......I have thought about some of these things and reconciled my feelings about relaxing my hair......going back and forth at times too...thinking maybe I do hate the "real" me... maybe I'm not keeping it real.....But I've come to this conclusion since working a summer at a salon that catered to white clients and just through the years learning how to take care of my hair.......MOST if not All Women do something to their hair.. the straigthen process that is hot now in Hollywood is a Japanese process....and I too wonder well "what do they need it for", but that's my ignorance....now chemicals like relaxing, colors, perms that's a personal choice and its how you want to present yourself, what makes you comfortable, they reason behind it could be as simple as it takes less time do do certain styles then others ( honestly I think it takes time period )..

They way we all are socialized black, white, latin, etc, etc...women are socialized to want what they don't have...I think that is more about selling products than hating how and what you are..."brunettes want to be blonde then the next season redheads are in so lets all go red..."

I think it has deep rooted issues at times but now I think it is about marketing and it has become profitable to make a women desire a certain image..... There is so much to this it would take all day

 

[jd_bdfly]

[ QUOTE ]
TrustMeLove said:
...(i.e. when white folks wear dreads) I have something to say and I wish they would stop it..


[/ QUOTE ]

I totally feel you on this.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

I personally don't have a problem with a black woman that chooses to straighten her hair. I think I do have a problem when it is based on a misconception that our natural hair is hard to manage, especially when the person has never worn their hair natural.

I think that women that do choose to straighten their hair need to ask themselves why they do it? Is it for a style change or just because your bored? If it's because you think your natural hair is ugly or "needs fixing", then I think there are issues that need to be dealt with.

As for people with 3a or 2b or whatever...I don't see anything wrong with people being happy with whatever they are. Black is beautiful as is every other color, texture, shade, whatever.

 

[CocoaCure]

GREAT POST SKEE!!!! I feel that within the population of people of African descent we have many textures from 1 to 4B and I consider all of them to be natural if they have no chemicals. Most of my family are 2's and 3's and I consider them natural totally! I'm a 3c/4a, transitioning but I too will be natural once I've grown out alot and cut off the relaxed ends.

As for relaxers - I've relaxed and loved it! I loved the styling options and versatility of it! Was I a proud Black woman when I was relaxed - you'd better know it! Will I be a proud Black woman when I'm natural - Definitely!

I don't think that just because someone chooses to relax it's an indication that they have racial self-hatred issues. I think it's a style choice. But I must say, I always am filled with a sense of deep sadness when I hear Black women refer to their natural hair as "Bad" or "awful" or "I NEED a relaxer" and comments such as these! No you don't NEED a relaxer............if you have one it's a styling choice! But to tell yourself that you - how God made you - NEEDS to be chemically altered is a really self-defeating statement! I think it's better to say "I WANT to relax because that's how I feel I can best style my hair", but to say you NEED it is like saying something is wrong with you. For example, I don't NEED makeup - but you won't hardly catch me without at least a little lipgloss and a little shadow in my eyebrows!! But do I NEED it, NO! It's a choice because I feel that with makeup I'm enhancing what's already there.

If someone chooses to texturize or relax their hair, I think it's a choice. I just wish Black women would realize that our natural hair is NOT a MESS and those types of self-defeating statements. But there is nothing at all wrong with relaxing or texturing. I think the attitude one holds of oneself deep inside is the real issue!! I'm sure there are some people who do suffer from self-hatred whether due to hair texture "My natural hair is ugly and unmanageable" or skin color or whatever. We've all met and heard those who have issues or who lash out at others who have a different hair texture or skin color.

I do feel that just as Whites can wear their natural hair and its perfectly acceptable, we should be able to wear our natural hair and it be perfectly acceptable too. The bottom line I think is that healthy hair tends to be beautiful hair regardless of whether it's natural, texturized, or relaxed.
Attitudes however, are much deeper. When I think of natural hair many pictures come to mind - Sole who is a type 1, Anaya Lewis who is a type 2, Lisa Nicole Carson who is a type 3 and Jill Scott who is a type 4 - it's all natural hair!

Relaxed heads - don't feel bad about relaxing. Everyone has styling options! Just feel good about yourselves, but also feel good about your natural hair too and that it's not ugly or a mess. You're still proud Black women with relaxed hair too! I know I was! Although I'm transitioning, sometimes I'll probably straighten, but again - I'm rather diva-ish (not the attitude, just loving clothes, makeup and hair!!! My friends always say if I were a man, I'd be a big drag queen! hahahha! ) and I love CHANGE! Pure and simple! I hope I answered all your questions! Again, GREAT, thought-provoking post!!! Thanks!

 

[babyblue]

[ QUOTE ]
DelightfulFlame said:
I personally don't have a problem with a black woman that chooses to straighten her hair. I think I do have a problem when it is based on a misconception that our natural hair is hard to manage, especially when the person has never worn their hair natural.

I think that women that do choose to straighten their hair need to ask themselves why they do it? Is it for a style change or just because your bored? If it's because you think your natural hair is ugly or "needs fixing", then I think there are issues that need to be dealt with.


[/ QUOTE ]

I totally agree...its all about what's your motive. Are you relaxing because you think your type 4 hair is "bad" and "ugly"? Are you texturizing because you fantasize about about looking like you got that "good hair"? Believe it or not some folks still act like it is unacceptable to wear type 4 hair out and unaltered. That the only natural hair that is acceptable and can be worn "out" is hair that is type 3 or less with visible curls. Which i beleive is why SOME type 4's get their hair texturized.

I like to press from time to time for style change. nothing wrong with that. but it becomes a problem when i or others start using degrading words against your and others natural hair and if you act like the world is about to end just because your new growth showing. Same thing goes for women who are technically "natural" but keep their hair pressed all 365 days of the year and never wear their true texture out.

 

[CocoaCure]

Wow! There are some excellent posts on this topic! Great points Babyblue!! I have to be very very honest with myself. This issue is so very deeply embedded in us whether we realize it or not! When I first went natural in '99 everybody thought I was crazy and when I announced I was going to wear my hair natural people (including close friends) looked at me as if I had two heads! Like many who go natural, I had no idea what to expect. I didn't even realize what my natural texture was because I had always had somebody's chemical (curl, relaxer) on since I was 10!

Right now, you've really got me thinking............after I did my big chop I was amazed at my hair texture and how curly/wavy it was, especially on top, and I thought, "wow, I didn't know my natural hair was like this" and how if I had known that I would have gone natural earlier! But I have to ask myself, would I have been so happy about my natural hair if it were much more tightly curled???

I mean, here I am being natural and yet still............I'm "happy" about my texture having visible waves/curls in it??? There's something wrong with this picture! Then my friends and everyone was like, "Wow, I didn't know your hair was like this, well then........YOU can go natural, but not me" kind of thing. There's something wrong here too!!

So basically what I'm saying is this...........here I was celebrating being a natural woman, but being "Happy" that my hair was "still manageable". Would I have not been as happy with my hair and therefore myself if I had tighter coiled hair???? I very ashamed to admit this right now!! It's not very pleasant because I've always considered myself to be a very proud Black woman! I'm now realizing I've got some hypocrisy issues! So I guess, this is something I'm going to have to reconcile within myself! Like, I'm always playing in my newgrowth, but I have to ask myself, do I like it so much because of it's less African-4B qualities, or more for it's 3Cish qualities which are those that have always been considered more "acceptable" by the Eurocentric standards of beauty we've always judged ourselves by. Hmmmmm. Anyone have anything to add??? I'm open for constructive criticism. I realize through this post though, that I'm going to have to ask myself what I really find to be beautiful hair. I really do find 4B hair beautiful though, especially when long and healthy and in beautiful twist out desins, or big super fro's with a cute headband. But I've also definitely uncovered that I have some issues too!!

 

[CocoaCure]

Bump

 

[miss_brown]

It's always ok for people to do whatever they want their hair. I went natural because it was a conscious, political choice for MYSELF. That doesn't mean other black women will make the same decision, and I'm not judgmental of those that don't. We only have to answer to ourselves and God.

Also, just for clarification, natural hair is natural hair. Whether it's 1c or 4z, natural hair is that which is not chemically processed straight. Of course we recognize that African hair comes in all hair types (and usually can't be confined to just one), but I'm not really sure what implications that has regarding your other questions.

 

[skegeesmb]

[ QUOTE ]
miss_brown said:
It's always ok for people to do whatever they want their hair. I went natural because it was a conscious, political choice for MYSELF. That doesn't mean other black women will make the same decision, and I'm not judgmental of those that don't. We only have to answer to ourselves and God.

Also, just for clarification, natural hair is natural hair. Whether it's 1c or 4z, natural hair is that which is not chemically processed straight. Of course we recognize that African hair comes in all hair types (and usually can't be confined to just one), but I'm not really sure what implications that has regarding your other questions.

[/ QUOTE ]

They're not implications, they are thoughts I have had when I've read posts not specific posts, just posts I've read in passing. They're simply thoughts about hair. And for some posters they have no problem with what women do to their hair. I'm not saying that the natural posters who've posted have problems with relaxed hair or another person's choice.

These are questions about hair that I've always wanted to post, but I felt foolish. So I figured I'd ask them all in one post, so they can fall to the wayside when this thread get's old.

 

[cutebajangirl]

[ QUOTE ]
babyblue said:


I totally agree...its all about what's your motive. Are you relaxing because you think your type 4 hair is "bad" and "ugly"? Are you texturizing because you fantasize about about looking like you got that "good hair"? Believe it or not some folks still act like it is unacceptable to wear type 4 hair out and unaltered. That the only natural hair that is acceptable and can be worn "out" is hair that is type 3 or less with visible curls. Which i beleive is why SOME type 4's get their hair texturized.

Or take MSM to looser their curl pattern.

 

[Nay]

I think that questions like these and sites like LHCF are very helpful in getting people to expand their minds.

I won't specifically answer your questions, but I will state some things that I have learned/ways I have been enlightened since being here:

* I used to believe that permed/dyed hair meant damaged hair. I now know that you can perm or dye your hair and still have beautiful, healthy, long hair.

* I used to believe that coarse/kinky hair was HARD to manage. I have coarse/kinky hair myself. But now I KNOW that coarse/kinky hair can be managed and IS BEAUTIFUL.

* I used to wonder why people were so into weaves or extensions. I thought that those folks must have really short hair or something or that -- dare I say it -- they were lazy or had "issues." Now I know that people get weaves or extensions or wear phony ponies or wigs for a myriad of different reasons. There's no One-size-fits-all explanation, and it's all good!

So, again, I have learned a lot from being here, and my thinking is broader on the issue of why we do what we do.

** One thing that I haven't quite resolved yet, though, is I still wonder about the effects of some of these things on YOUNGER girls. I wonder what kind of self-image issues a young girl might have who has always had "fashion hair." (That's what my friend's daughter calls the extensions she has in her hair.) I know that there are many "style aids and options," but I really do think it's kind of sad/strange when girls from 7 to 14 are wearing wigs, weaves, and add-ons. But, again, I grew up back in the day when only grandma wore a wig and if you had french braids, they were your own hair.

 

[CocoaCure]

Excellent point Nay!!! Very well stated!!! You're so right! This forum has eliminated lots of the myths - especially the ones about relaxed hair has to be damaged-WRONG!!! And the one about natural type 4 hair is unmanageable, - WRONG again!!! Excellent points! Now if we could just get Black women from downgrading themselves with self-defeating, negative remarks about their natural hair!! Even if they choose to stay relaxed for life - there's nothing wrong with that, but please don't little girls, or even your own ears, hear you say negative things about your natural hair - it's beautiful too, you just like the styling versility of relaxed hair and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that too!

 

[jainygirl]

just wanted to say that i really like this thread alot

i like how honest everyone is being also

that's what is making it so good. --jainygirl