MY MOM IS GOING BALD... PLEASE HELP US!

Hi LHCF. I am imploring to your senstive/loving side to those of you who really love your mom and would do anything to help them. Please help us...

I just found out this past week that my mom is going bald . It came up because I knew she was having troubles with length/thickness and since joining this site I found ways to help her obtain it. Her current hair length is to her shoulders and I cannot remember a time it being naturallly longer.

Anyway, I was talking to her about doing crotchet braids aka cornrows with hair extentions throught out the braid as a protective style while we work on nutrients for her scalp. She confided in me that not only is her hair thinning but right in the middle of her head at the crown she has a bald spot. She showed me and I was shocked. It's big and very noticable had she not been using her hair to cover the spot. She is so embarrassed about it, I could tell it took a lot for her to tell me...

She used to do box braids but then it ruined her edges leaving her with bald spots, that fortuantly have been growing back. She tried phony-ponys for awhile but they were pulled so tight it was causing even more loss. erplexed So now she either uses rollers at night or pulls it back in a ponytail agaist the nape of her neck.

I asked her if it was breakage or hair loss she has more of and she said that all of the hair she sheds is hair from the root.

Her primary care Dr has not put her on a mutlivitamin and flaxseed oil? (not sure if that is the oil). The Dr also said she needs to use a moisture rich shampoo. Her Dr told her she is about to undergo surgery in Dec that will be causing even more hair loss. So they are trying to get her body ready using the multivit and the oil vitamin. Rains it pours...


Her regiment is as follows:
* 1x week wash and set (uses products at her Dom salon)
* Rollers or wrap at night with scarf (not neccesarily silk or satin)
* Every 6-8 weeks relaxer
* Hair type: (Sorry, I don't know by numbers and letters) Color 4, thin, fine hair with no breakage or split ends

Im so sorry that this is happening to you, I almost started to cry, is she sick? like is she going through some kind of kemo therapy?

maybe she should leave her hair alone for a while, and just let it be, she can wear a hat or something to cover it, maybe it just needs to be left alone for a while

I can't offer any advice, but I do think your mom should see either an trichologist or dermatologist as soon as possible.

is baldness hereditary in your family?? i have to watch my hair as I get older because its hereditary (on both sides). she's got a great regimen going, but that may do nothing to curb the baldness. its unfortunately a part of getting older.

the only thing that may help is if she watches what type of product she's putting in her hair. I can't use Dom products because they tend to have petroleum, alcohol and/or mineral oil. Maybe she needs to start using some of the organic poo's and conds that are out (like Aubrey's)

I am so very sorry that your mother is going through so much. I hope her surgery goes well and that she recovers well.

I agree that maybe she should go to a trichologist. And perhaps get her hormone levels checked, Thyroid, as well as estrogen/progesterone etc. Hormonal imbalance can reek havoc on a woman's hair.

Some ladies here use Garlic shampoo and say that it helps. Definately try not to do anything that would pull her hair tight.

Also the stress alone may be causing the problem to get worse. The body will preserve it's energy for vital organs and processes when it needs to, such as in times of illness. Sometimes the hair/nails/skin will suffer. That is why doctors and nurses do are taught to look over our body surfaces for clues when they examine people. The good thing is if this is what was causing it, when the problem is taken care of, the hair/skin'/nails will begin to thrive again.

She should eat as healthily as possible and taker her vitamins, and drink plenty of water, provided she is not on any fluid restriction by her doctor. You may want to look up any new medicines she is on and see if the side effects include hairloss. A lot of medications list this as a possible side effect.

I would think that she would probably not want to take MSM prior to surgery because if I remember correctly it will mildly thin the blood. You may want to ask the doctor and do some research before she takes any of that. Flaxseed oil is great. It is full of good omegas that her body will need to help her heel quickly.

She may want to look into some pretty scarves, hats, and wigs, while she is caring for her hair, to give her hair a break. If she chooses to wear them caution her to make sure that she takes it off when she gets home and maybe put on a light silk scarf so that her scalp can breathe, and so that they don't rub her edges too much.

God bless her and give her strength

Softresses

Saida - Thank you for your kindness... I am trying to keep it together and not cry myself here at work. I just feel so helpless and as a woman, more so in our family, our hair is representative of our vitality and strength. She doesn't have cancer but another condition that will require surgery. I rather not say though... It's life threatining but her condition in general would not cause hair loss according to her Dr's. Her hair started thinning about 2 years ago... we never thought it would get to the point where she would have a bald area... She's been under stress lately and this upcoming surgery will hopfully eleviate most of it. erplexed

Joy - Thanks for the suggestion. I am encouraging her to see my derm.

LadyJ - Of the elders in my mom's family there is not a history of it. My grandfather is in his 60-70's with full head of hair and his mother, my great-g-mom is in her late 80's is the same way, full head of hair. My mom's mother's hair is thinning though and she is in her 60's. My grandmom's mother, when she was alive, used to wear wigs but I remember her hair being thin underneath and in braids she did herself but never bald. You know the crazy part is my mom is in her early 40's! She's so young to be going through this... I will look into the organics stuff for her. Thank you for responding!

I would love to here from anyone else with suggestions or comments... please...

Hi BlackDiamond21,

Sorry this is happening to your mom. So far her regimen looks good, but I I think she should fine a good scalp serum that's geared towards regrowing hair like ORS temple balm or Wild Groth Hair Oil, or Surge. Nightly massages to the scalp. Also, does she get deep conditionings at the salon or just a 3 minute rinse out conditioner? If she gets deep, then she's fine. Another thing, I think should wait at least 10 to 12 weeks before relaxing again.

I'm pretty sure other members have some advice that could help. My sister-n-law had 4 big bald spots on her scalp and this is what I had done for her and now all of the bald spots have filled in.

HTH

OK... some things to help keep you positive:

You know that often when you go through some medical condition that makes your hair fall out, it grows back differently and often enough I hear--BETTER. I think, as someone who's dealing with thinning right now myself, if I were about to face, say, chemo, I'd be relieved. I think it would shock my entire system and by the time my hair was ready to come back, the internal changes might benefit things.

Balding usually happens when white blood cells attack the follicle for no reason. Go with Mom to a dermatologist. I just had a scalp biopsy done that's gonna tell me what's causing my thinning--scarring, stress, fungus, psoriasis... it will be a huge relief just to get a concrete answer. I also got cortisone shots, which everyone tells me really make a difference--the steroid sends away the white blood cells so the follicle can get back to work. Look into those options with her doctor.

Good luck to you and your mom.

Blu,

The steroid shots helped me when I was in the military. I got an alopecia from stress. The shots started me growing fuzz all over the spot within the next two weeks. Before the month was up I had a good 3/4" of hair regrown.

Softresses

Your mother's hair sounds a lot like my mother. My mother's hair is also thin, and when she used to get braids it caused her hair to thin out even more. I think the best thing she should do is lay off of the braids entirely and any other type of hairstyle that will cause stress to her hair. She should also add more space between her relaxers so that her hair can thicken up. This is what my mother is doing and her hair has gotten thicker as a result. I think your mother's regimen is fine for now as long as she's getting a deep conditioning immediately after her hair is shampooed. She may want to use a satin/silk scarf to wrap her hair with at night. I'm purchasing a lace wig for my mother so that her hair can futher recuperate.

BlackDiamond21 said:

Saida - Thank you for your kindness... I am trying to keep it together and not cry myself here at work. I just feel so helpless and as a woman, more so in our family, our hair is representative of our vitality and strength. She doesn't have cancer but another condition that will require surgery. I rather not say though... It's life threatining but her condition in general would not cause hair loss according to her Dr's. Her hair started thinning about 2 years ago... we never thought it would get to the point where she would have a bald area... She's been under stress lately and this upcoming surgery will hopfully eleviate most of it. erplexed

Joy - Thanks for the suggestion. I am encouraging her to see my derm.

LadyJ - Of the elders in my mom's family there is not a history of it. My grandfather is in his 60-70's with full head of hair and his mother, my great-g-mom is in her late 80's is the same way, full head of hair. My mom's mother's hair is thinning though and she is in her 60's. My grandmom's mother, when she was alive, used to wear wigs but I remember her hair being thin underneath and in braids she did herself but never bald. You know the crazy part is my mom is in her early 40's! She's so young to be going through this... I will look into the organics stuff for her. Thank you for responding!

I would love to here from anyone else with suggestions or comments... please...

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Maybe its from all the stress of having to go through sugery and so on, could that be it? I'll keep you guys in my prayer

stay strong

BlackDiamond,

Is your mom able to relax? Sometimes when a person is facing a serious illness it helps to take a holistic approach. The person needs care for the mind, body, and spirit. She may benifit from relaxation techniques, massage, deep breathing exercises, meditation, prayer, relaxation tapes or soft music. If the docor okays it and she is able to, maybe even relaxing walks or swims, maybe even soaking in a nice relaxing pool.

This may be the prime time in her life when mom needs a llittle "spa therapy" to help her to cope.

These little things may be a way for you to add your strength to hers and help her along the journey.


I pray that some of this is helpful

Softresses

Softresses said:

Blu,

The steroid shots helped me when I was in the military. I got an alopecia from stress. The shots started me growing fuzz all over the spot within the next two weeks. Before the month was up I had a good 3/4" of hair regrown.

Softresses

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Yeah! Whooo!

See? There's hope! After my stitches are out today, I'll peek up there and see if anything's cooking yet...

I would suggest Lenzi's Request. You can order it from sunriseproductsonline.com

I'm sorry your mom is going through this. It all sounds so stressful.

To be honest, I would recommend her cutting her hair and maybe not relaxing it for awhile (or doing any braids). I went through an incredibly stressful time in my life right around my wedding when I had clumps of hair falling out. My stylist convinced me to cut it off and start over.

If her doctor is saying she will likely lose more hair, it's probably best to cut it really short now to minimize the trauma. I second what others have said about scalp massages and conditioning. Once the bald area starts filling in, she can decide what she wants to do from there.

Let me say that all of you ladies responding has me in tears... thanks so much!

Soft - Your words are very encouraging; Thank you! I will see her again on Monday, so I will ask her about her meds and I am trying to encourage her to give her hair a break... She is just so scared to do anything to it other than things she normally does... Even basic cornrows scare her She is very open to using hair regrowth products though... she really wants it to change.

Luv - She doesn't do deep conditioners and I am currently researching products she can use. Right now whatever the salon uses on her is what she deals with. So I am working on changing that. Question: I have heard of Surge but they offer so many products, which one do you think will work for her??? I will look into the others in the meantime. Thanks!!!

Blu - Thank you for the information. I had no idea the white blood cells affect hair growth. I know they are there to fight off bad stuff but not that they would attack hair cells. If that is the case, then her white blood cells deserve a good . Hopefully after the surgery her hair will return to "normal".

Soft - Glad to know the shots worked for you. If we find out she needs them, I can say I know a woman (a woman of color even) that it worked for. She will appreciate that! Thanks for opening up and sharing your personal experience!

Simone - I will suggest the relaxer stretch to her... it may help! Thank you for your response!

Saida - I thought it might be the stress from her upcoming surgery but she did not know she might need it until late last year and her hair started thining before then. I am sure this upcoming surgery is not helping though Thanks!

Soft - If you only knew how much I want my mom to relax... Her attitude has become so negative lately... more and more and I know she is very unhappy with her life right now. The stress is so bad... I try to help her relax and stuff but her negative attiude out weighs the postive things in her life. She is very stubborn, prideful and independent. So me reaching out to her at times to help her relax makes her defensive (Sidebar - She'a like that by her mothers doing if you ask me; not nice to speak unfavorable of my g-mom but she treats her kids like a reptile, "I gave birth to you, now figure out the world on your own with NO HELP from me other than to critizie you on how you messed up. Oh and DONT look for me to help you unless my pastor gives the ok". My mother's mom is a deeply religous person (no offense to anyone) but she is so far gone into it, she won't help her own child w/o asking her pastor's ok first!!! Who the hell acts like that? Why do you need a stranger to tell you to help your own flesh and blood? UGH!!! See that right there is a whole 'nother thread...sorry) It's hard for me because I so want to change her perspective and see the positive and how she used to be so. I see glimpes of her old happy self but they are so far and few inbetween now.. I don't mean to put a lot of emphasis on this surgery but hopefully this will be the rainbow after the storm and help her move on to a postive way. Maybe she is depressed as well and needs to speak to someone??? Thanks for the suggestion... Hoepfully we can find some method to help eleviate her stress.

Naza - Thanks for the website! Do you know how to use it? It said there is a "resting period". Do you know what that means???
Lauren - I am awed by your courage to cut off all your hair!!! No one would ever know looking at how gorgeous your mane is!!!
Please don't be offended by this; to get my mom to cut it all off...would hell freeze over first? OMG...I cannot even imagine her agreeing to that but you never know . Thanks for responding and sharing your experience!!!

BlackDiamond,

I can understand what you mean by your mom being so independant and by g-mother's influences. Sometimes it is so hard to try and get your own mother to do things even if it is for her own good.

I cannot imagine the stress she is going through. It must be very hard for her. Women tend to try and keep going no matter what.

Would she go, do you think, if you gave her a gift of spa treatments, facials, mani/pedi, massages, etc that she could do by herself? It would make her feel good and help her feel confident, not like an invalid or something. I know of many patients that loose hair with stress surrounding illness or injury and surgery. It is a shock to the body's equilibrium.

If I can think of anything else I will post it or pm you.

Softresses

Softresses said:

BlackDiamond,

I can understand what you mean by your mom being so independant and by g-mother's influences. Sometimes it is so hard to try and get your own mother to do things even if it is for her own good.

I cannot imagine the stress she is going through. It must be very hard for her. Women tend to try and keep going no matter what.

Would she go, do you think, if you gave her a gift of spa treatments, facials, mani/pedi, massages, etc that she could do by herself? It would make her feel good and help her feel confident, not like an invalid or something. I know of many patients that loose hair with stress surrounding illness or injury and surgery. It is a shock to the body's equilibrium.

If I can think of anything else I will post it or pm you.

Softresses

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Thanks soft...espically for understanding!!!

Lauren - I am awed by your courage to cut off all your hair!!! No one would ever know looking at how gorgeous your mane is!!!
Please don't be offended by this; to get my mom to cut it all off...would hell freeze over first? OMG...I cannot even imagine her agreeing to that but you never know . Thanks for responding and sharing your experience!!!

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I'm not offended at all! It wasn't easy for me either. My stylist suggested it for about 3 months before I got married, and I kept telling her she was crazy. It didn't hit me how bad the situation was until my consult for the wedding. She told me she could only relax the edges and she would HAVE to pull it all back to hide the short patches in the back. I had no idea it was so bad and so hopeless. She told me in no uncertain terms that my short hair would never, ever catch up to the long hair. It was tough, but I knew she was right.

I'll try to find a pic so you can see how thin my hair was. 2 weeks after we got back, I got it cut into a Halle Berry style. Almost 4 years later, here I am.

I know she won't want to hear it, but it will be harder to nurse her hair back to health with different lengths going on. I loved my short cut from the moment I saw the finished product, and it grew back faster than it ever had before.

I can only imagine it will put more stress on her to worry about how her hair looks. I can't tell you how many times I cried in the mirror because my hair looked so thin and scraggly and no style looked right.

Whatever happens, I pray that she gets completely healthy first and foremost. You are a good daughter for being so concerned and helping her.

You are very welcome. Remember we are all here for you even if you just need to vent for a while!

Also, you seem to be a very loving daughter to worry over your mother so. Even the most independent people appreciate that in their heart, if they do have trouble saying it.

Softresses

I'm very sorry to hear of your mom's problems. I was diagnosed with alopecia over 2 yrs ago and beat it. First, your mom needs to see a dermatologist preferably one who has specific experience with ahair loss (not all do believe it or not). A good derm can diagnose the problem and offer really good suggestions. She might have to see more than one to find a Dr. that is willing to treat her. Tell her not to give up! She also needs to calm down--stress can kill any kind of hair growth! Tell her to look into accupuncture as a possible "cure" for her baldness. It helped me a great deal AND it helped me to de-stress. Tea tree oil applied directly to the scalp and added to conditioners will help her scalp to heal and reduce inflammation. It stinks but it will promote healing and growth. Scalp massages also work wonders. Your mom should also look into products that combat DHT--topical or oral spironolactone, Retin A, or azelaic acid. All are great and if the follicles aren't dead, will make hair grow on bald patches.

I don't have any suggestions, I just wanted to give your mom my best wishes. I hope everything works out. My mother has a lot of thinning as a result of medication. She is chemical free now and wears her hair short to keep it as full as possible.

Try to stay positive!

So sorry to hear this is happening to your mother. I read on FromNatureWithLove.com that Amla and Brahmi oils can help strengthen the hair roots and help prevent hair loss. They also have a hair blend oil (Ayurvedic oil: Hair Blend) that seems like it could be of some help. I haven't tried any of these oils, but lots of ladies on this forum rave about amla. HTH

http://www.fromnaturewithlove.com/soap/product.asp?product_id=oilayurhair

I'm sorry to hear about your mom's troubles. Does your mom have any other symptoms such as a scaly scalp, itching, flaking, sores, etc. I agree with all of the advice given, scheduling an appointment with a reputable dermatologist, eating a healthful diet, exercising, de-stressing... Additionally, in my opinion, maybe mom can stretch the relaxers for a while, wear a nice stylish wig when she's looking presentable (and snatch that bad boy off when she's kickin back) and let her hair and scalp rest for a while.

Good luck and keep us posted. Mom's lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter

I have to agree with the other posts. These ladies on this board are so helpful and give great advice. Just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about your mom's troubles. I hope things will get better. Prayers going up for you and her. ((((((HUG))))))

i'd just listen to the doctor. also stop putting so much pressure on your hair and scalp with the box braids and tight ponytails. continue with the moisture rich regimen and pray!!

BlackDiamond21 said:

Hi LHCF. I am imploring to your senstive/loving side to those of you who really love your mom and would do anything to help them. Please help us...

I just found out this past week that my mom is going bald . It came up because I knew she was having troubles with length/thickness and since joining this site I found ways to help her obtain it. Her current hair length is to her shoulders and I cannot remember a time it being naturallly longer.

Anyway, I was talking to her about doing crotchet braids aka cornrows with hair extentions throught out the braid as a protective style while we work on nutrients for her scalp. She confided in me that not only is her hair thinning but right in the middle of her head at the crown she has a bald spot. She showed me and I was shocked. It's big and very noticable had she not been using her hair to cover the spot. She is so embarrassed about it, I could tell it took a lot for her to tell me...

She used to do box braids but then it ruined her edges leaving her with bald spots, that fortuantly have been growing back. She tried phony-ponys for awhile but they were pulled so tight it was causing even more loss. erplexed So now she either uses rollers at night or pulls it back in a ponytail agaist the nape of her neck.

I asked her if it was breakage or hair loss she has more of and she said that all of the hair she sheds is hair from the root.

Her primary care Dr has not put her on a mutlivitamin and flaxseed oil? (not sure if that is the oil). The Dr also said she needs to use a moisture rich shampoo. Her Dr told her she is about to undergo surgery in Dec that will be causing even more hair loss. So they are trying to get her body ready using the multivit and the oil vitamin. Rains it pours...

Would you please offer some suggestions of what she can do to help stimulate hair growth and fullness? The name of the products you or loved ones have used would be greatly apprecaited.​

Her regiment is as follows:
* 1x week wash and set (uses products at her Dom salon)
* Rollers or wrap at night with scarf (not neccesarily silk or satin)
* Every 6-8 weeks relaxer
* Hair type: (Sorry, I don't know by numbers and letters) Color 4, thin, fine hair with no breakage or split ends

This means so much to me to help my mom... please, please help us... ​

I would be so grateful LHCF members!!! ​

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sorry for your mom and yourself . my sister have had and sometimes still, depending on her nerves, have a completely bald spot in that same area. she used vasaline on hers and it does come back pretty good. hers is mainly due to stress in her life, but the vasaline does bring it back. also, make sure she does not do any chemical within 2 weeks pre and post surgery, the anathesia will cause hair to fall out. try to style her hair in a style before surgery that will not call for it to be combed after surgery like a geled wave or braids that will last 2weeks or so. what ever you do dont use a wig as it will kill hair follicles over time due to lack of oxygen. blessing to you and mom

LadyJay114 said:

is baldness hereditary in your family?? i have to watch my hair as I get older because its hereditary (on both sides). she's got a great regimen going, but that may do nothing to curb the baldness. its unfortunately a part of getting older.

the only thing that may help is if she watches what type of product she's putting in her hair. I can't use Dom products because they tend to have petroleum, alcohol and/or mineral oil. Maybe she needs to start using some of the organic poo's and conds that are out (like Aubrey's)

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excellent advice...

BlackDiamond, I hope your mother is doing well, and is getting through her challenges in good health and spirits. She is super blessed to have a loving concerned daughter like you to care for her in her time of need!

I've been reading through these types of threads today and I realize us sensitive scalp types, prone to thinning need to watch for a reaction every time we introduce a new product to our regime. The scalp can have an allergic reaction which could also cause shedding (white blood cells). (I didn't know this, when my head would itch really bad, I would just ignore it..., it was trying to tell me sumthin! ) I'm trying to figure out what's best as well.

Please let us know how your mom is doing. This thread has been very helpful for me, there is a lot of great advice here.

Any updates on mom??? I hope things have turned around for the better for her. Many blessings.