Friend's Hair is Matted - Detangling Help, please!!

I'm looking for a recommendaiton for a detangling shampoo/conditioner for a friend (relaxed-neck length) who neglected her hair under a wig for about a month ARRGH!!! I was sooooo mad at her when she told me she hadn't washed or combed her hair in a month.... (CRINGE).

I will add that she fractured her wrist a month ago and is wearing a removable brace on it. I told her that's no excuse because if you can brush your teeth or wash your face then you can at least comb your hair. She said I can't say that because unless I see what it's like to only have one arm then you won't know. Anyway, I was actually fuming mad at her and told her that she was just being lazy when she told me her hair was matted and she asked me what to use. We're friends like that so I can tell her how I really feel LOL.

Anyway, someone told her to get a detangling shampoo by Pantene. We looked all over and I don't even think there's such a thing??? We found a detangling spray by Pantene but she's insisting on finding the shampoo that the person recommended.

Anybody have a good recommendation for her? I told her that I think the spray might be best because you'd need to detangle it first or else it will get worse when you wash it. I don't know. That's why I came here to ask you ladies for advice.

Thanks much!!

NO PANTENE!!!! NO!!!!

did she wet the hair yet? Don't wet it yet!!! wetting hair that was in braids or a weave for a long time tangles any hair that has shed with the hair that is still intact.

Mane and tail detangling spray, some light oil, and gentle hands. Then after you get out most of the tangles i would go with redken smooth down butter treat, it will make her hair melt.

also use your fingers, a wide tooth comb, and a large paddle brush to detangle.
matting isn't really a regular outcome of extended weave use... it usually happens because the person didn't remove the shed hair before wetting

SummerSolstice said:

NO PANTENE!!!! NO!!!!

did she wet the hair yet? Don't wet it yet!!! wetting hair that was in braids or a weave for a long time tangles any hair that has shed with the hair that is still intact.

Mane and tail detangling spray, some light oil, and gentle hands. Then after you get out most of the tangles i would go with redken smooth down butter treat, it will make her hair melt.

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See, I knew you ladies would be on point. I'm writing these down and will tell her to get one of these. I don't think she's wet it yet because we were out looking yesterday and couldn't find anything.

Thank you sooo much!!

fingers and a detangling spray. Mane and Tail is pretty good. it may take awhile for her to detangle her hair. since she is injured, she may need some assistance. when i had locs i use oil and conditioner.

shortdub78 said:

fingers and a detangling spray. Mane and Tail is pretty good. it may take awhile for her to detangle her hair. since she is injured, she may need some assistance. when i had locs i use oil and conditioner.

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Great advice and recommendations. I'll offer assistance and warn her that it will take a while.

Thanks so much!!

DO NOT SHAMPOO THE HAIR WITHOUT DETANGLING FIRST!!!
get a spray bottle add some Herbal essences hello hydration, dilute with a little bit of water. Grab small sections, saturate with HH/water combo, and gently detangle each section. It will be time consuming, but you must take your time to try and salvage your friend's hair. Hope this helps.

thickness said:

DO NOT SHAMPOO THE HAIR WITHOUT DETANGLING FIRST!!!
get a spray bottle add some Herbal essences hello hydration, dilute with a little bit of water. Grab small sections, saturate with HH/water combo, and gently detangle each section. It will be time consuming, but you must take your time to try and salvage your friend's hair. Hope this helps.

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Adding this to the list also. I'm assuming you're talking about the HE Hello Hydration conditioner, right?

Great advice!!

Thanks much!!

I've never used Mane & Tail, however Paul Mitchell The Detangler -I use the Sally knockoff- is the bomb! It's a detangling machine! Put it in her hair for a while and let it sit. After about half hour, start detangling.

HTH

I'm not sure if I can agree with not wetting her hair then again I'm not familar with healthy relaxed hair pracitice but I have a lot of experience with matted hair. My best friend who is natural would come to me with 2months of loose 4b/c matted/free form dreads in the back hair. First thing I do is spray her hair with water and slather on conditioner (ausie moist) and then slather on grapeseed oil and I would gently loosen up the dreds with my fingers and try to get as much shed hair out with my fingers then I detangle with a wide tooth comb. I did it that way so I wouldn't break her brittle neglected hair. When I would braid her hair and she would come back a month or so later I would do the same way of wetting, conditioning and oiling then slowing taking the braids out first then do the same thing I said earlier as far as detangling.

curlicarib said:

I've never used Mane & Tail, however Paul Mitchell The Detangler -I use the Sally knockoff- is the bomb! It's a detangling machine! Put it in her hair for a while and let it sit. After about half hour, start detangling.

HTH

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It's funny that we were even in Sally's yesterday asking the sales lady and she had nothing at all to show us and didn't have a clue of what to use. I will add this to the list also. I've always been fond of Paul Mitchell and the knockoffs there seem to be pretty good.

Thanks!!!

CurlsBazillion said:

I'm not sure if I can agree with not wetting her hair then again I'm not familar with healthy relaxed hair pracitice but I have a lot of experience with matted hair. My best friend who is natural would come to me with 2months of loose 4b/c matted/free form dreads in the back hair. First thing I do is spray her hair with water and slather on conditioner (ausie moist) and then slather on grapeseed oil and I would gently loosen up the dreds with my fingers and try to get as much shed hair out with my fingers then I detangle with a wide tooth comb. I did it that way so I wouldn't break her brittle neglected hair. When I would braid her hair and she would come back a month or so later I would do the same way of wetting, conditioning and oiling then slowing taking the braids out first then do the same thing I said earlier as far as detangling.

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This is very good to know. We did see the Aussie moist in the store too. I wonder if it's wetting it is not so bad only because you're not manipulating it yet until you have the conditioner on it. And I couldn't imagine two months of matted hair if she's saying the one month is that bad. That's nice of you to help her out.

Thank you so much!

Not wetting the hair is a general recommendation. I think it really depends on what type of shrinkage you have. My shrinkage is crazy. So if my hair is matted and I'm taking out braids, my hair is still in the stretched stage. As soon as water is added it is going to shrink up to its max. By then it could be too late to try to add anything to it to try to stretch it out. For major shrinkage I think oil works better than anything wet. For some heads conditioner causes shrinkage.

So the general rule of thumb is to apply the oil, conditioner first then water to try to minimize that shrinkage. But as one poster says shampooing is not a good idea because it zaps the moisture from the hair that is so crucial to help in detangling.

I went threw this problem with my mother. She had her hair braided in Nov. so she could wear her new wig. She kept her hair like that until Jan-Feb. I get a phone call one evening from her asking me to help detangle her hair. I get there. And low and behold her hair was matted mess...and she tells me she put a relaxer in to loosing the texture. I was horrified. lol. How in the world could put a relaxer on the matted hair.

Anywayz. She had already put conditioner in when i got there. So i sat down behind her with a wide tooth comb and some water and got to work. I'm not sure how long it took me. However long the green lantern and puss in boots are together. But i got it done. I was so happy she called me cause knowing her she would of cut most of her hair.

My advice- She needs some to do it that has patience. That's the key. Don't let the hair dry if she decides to wet it. I'm pretty sure my mom used the ors replenishing conditioner. But I personally don't think that mattered.

Hope that helped a little.

If all of the above do not help, she can also try Aloe Vera Juice mixed with oil. Are you available to help her? I know how one can neglect hair when your wrist in a brace.

I would start with olive oil . . . Be generous in your application. Massage into the hair and finger detangle. Add conditioner, then detangle with a wide tooth comb.

faithVA said:

Not wetting the hair is a general recommendation. I think it really depends on what type of shrinkage you have. My shrinkage is crazy. So if my hair is matted and I'm taking out braids, my hair is still in the stretched stage. As soon as water is added it is going to shrink up to its max. By then it could be too late to try to add anything to it to try to stretch it out. For major shrinkage I think oil works better than anything wet. For some heads conditioner causes shrinkage.

So the general rule of thumb is to apply the oil, conditioner first then water to try to minimize that shrinkage. But as one poster says shampooing is not a good idea because it zaps the moisture from the hair that is so crucial to help in detangling.

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I'm really learning a lot from you all. I will tell her definitely not to shampoo first and we'll see which one she wants to get as far as the oil/conditioners. I don't even know how her hair looks because I was just going by her word and she wasn't to happy to lift up the wig to show me after I got on her aobut it LOL.

Thanks!

ogmistress said:

I went threw this problem with my mother. She had her hair braided in Nov. so she could wear her new wig. She kept her hair like that until Jan-Feb. I get a phone call one evening from her asking me to help detangle her hair. I get there. And low and behold her hair was matted mess...and she tells me she put a relaxer in to loosing the texture. I was horrified. lol. How in the world could put a relaxer on the matted hair.

Anywayz. She had already put conditioner in when i got there. So i sat down behind her with a wide tooth comb and some water and got to work. I'm not sure how long it took me. However long the green lantern and puss in boots are together. But i got it done. I was so happy she called me cause knowing her she would of cut most of her hair.

My advice- She needs some to do it that has patience. That's the key. Don't let the hair dry if she decides to wet it. I'm pretty sure my mom used the ors replenishing conditioner. But I personally don't think that mattered.

Hope that helped a little.

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Yes, it does help a lot. Your Mom sounds like my friend a little, no patience. Luckily you helped her. My friend honestly thinks she's gonna just put in some shampoo and it will untangle itself. erplexed That's how much she hates doing her hair. She is the type that will cut her hair off and start over just because she didn't feel like taking care of it in the first place. She admits that the wig is the perfect thing for people like her but I guess she didn't realize what would happen when it's time to wash it after all this time.

Thanks!!

NappyNelle said:

If all of the above do not help, she can also try Aloe Vera Juice mixed with oil. Are you available to help her? I know how one can neglect hair when your wrist in a brace.

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Yes, I'm willing to help her. I would have been willing to help her from day one if she would have told me she wasn't washing/combing her hair all that time. I still can't believe it. I'm sitting here feeling bad because I am two days past my normal wash day for the week LOL.

Thanks!!

nappygirl said:

I would start with olive oil . . . Be generous in your application. Massage into the hair and finger detangle. Add conditioner, then detangle with a wide tooth comb.

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I think olive oil is something she should have on hand so it might be easy to try first. Good point about using fingers first and then the comb after the conditioner.

Thanks!

I agree with all of the above. I'd just say Any cone rich conditioner would do for this...Aussie Moist, or Tresseme Naturals, or anything with Dimethicone high on the ingredients list. Soak the dry hair in the conditioner, and let it sit...then slather on some olive oil, and sart the detangling party! And yea...don't wet the hair first...it will turn it into a Super Dread. No lie.

Put it this way...you wouldn't wet the hair like all at one time, as if you're dunking your head over the sink and about to shampoo.

MAJOR disaster. I just took out my friend's braids and she had them in for longer than a month, I detangled dry and them shampoo. She said the same thing, her hair always gets matted and tangled.

I actually like detangling on oiled hair.

empressri said:

Put it this way...you wouldn't wet the hair like all at one time, as if you're dunking your head over the sink and about to shampoo.

MAJOR disaster. I just took out my friend's braids and she had them in for longer than a month, I detangled dry and them shampoo. She said the same thing, her hair always gets matted and tangled.

I actually like detangling on oiled hair.

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Please don't do this. I don't see anything wrong with misting her hair with water RIGHT before adding a slippery conditioner. I tried detangling my own hair oiled with grapeseed oil and another time with argan oil and its not for me, my strands are too fine I need the conditioner oil combo to easily detangle. OP your friend needs to know that its not that big of a deal and there is a remedy. My mother combed her waist length dreds out with water and lots of conditioner so it is very possible to get through this.

CurlsBazillion, how long did it take for your mom to detangle her dreads?

Love Always said:

@CurlsBazillion, how long did it take for your mom to detangle her dreads?

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She did it in 3 weeks. She didn't try to rush through it or do it for long periods of time. She did it between calls (911) at work and on days off.

A tangle teaser can be used in this situation. They sell them at Sally's. I usually use on weave takedown day. It's very gentle easy to grip and won't cause any damage to the hair.