"It's about time you did something with your hair!!"

MsLauren

MsLauren

Well-Known Member
Yup that's what my district manager told me today!

I'm currently transitioning and I been bunning my hair since last December. Thats my "go to style" and I love it because my ends are protected and I get to lay off heat for a while since my hair is so damaged from past relaxers. Well today I decided to try lace front wigs and I found one I really liked and wore it today. When I walked into my office everyone was giving me compliments and telling me how pretty my hair looks :drunk:
I was feeling pretty self conscious but felt a little better after getting all those compliments. Then out of nowhere the district manager said to me "It's about time you did something with your hair! I was so tired of seeing that bun all the time! It wasn't very up to par!"

:angry2: :angry2: :angry2:

I just walked away because if I would have said something I would have gotten fired! I have no idea how my donut bun wasn't up to par! I make it very neat and presentable every day! And she's the last one to talk. Her hair is breaking off because she colors it every 2 weeks (most of the time using bleach) and hasn't gotten a trim in over a year. She should be the last person talking about someone's hair. Her manager had to pull me aside and apologize for her comment and said my hair is always presentable and there was never anything wrong with it.

Thanks guys for reading, I just needed to vent! :lol:
 
MsLauren

MsLauren

Well-Known Member
I'm trying to be positive and not let negativity like that get under my skin but she really pissed me off!!!
 
DDTexlaxed

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
Please tell me the district manager wasn't black. I would definitely go to the manager in private and tell them the comment was offensive and out of line. That was so hypocritical unprofessional!:rolleyes: You handled yourself with class.
 
Melaninme

Melaninme

Well-Known Member
I feel your frustration. Been there, heard that. When I first wore my natural hair out (used to wear wigs), my DH was told by his friends, "We liked it better long."

Later, when my hair was longer, I wore two-strand twists. When I decided to press my hair, a man at church stated to my DH, "Who's that foxy lady you came here with? Oh, it's your wife. She finally decided to do something with her hair."

You'll find yourself thinking to yourself, "Who does that?", "Why would anyone think or believe that they have the right to say this to anyone?". "Who do you think you are to say this to me?"

What do you do when you hear these comments? Just what you did. Walk away. Don't give her the satisfaction that she upset you. You do you. Brush off those comments. You knew that your hair was presentable (so did she). Keep on track for your hair goals and don't let anyone or their words deter you.

You have support from LHCF ladies!
 
MsLauren

MsLauren

Well-Known Member
DDTexlaxed said:
Please tell me the district manager wasn't black. I would definitely go to the manager in private and tell them the comment was offensive and out of line. That was so hypocritical unprofessional!:rolleyes: You handled yourself with class.
Click to expand...

shes black lol
 
candy626

candy626

New Member
She was just jealous you were getting attention probably. I would have pulled her aside and said something., district manager or not.
 
MsLauren

MsLauren

Well-Known Member
She already left for the day but best believe the next time we're both at work together she's going to hear from me about that comment! I was just to pissed off right then and there to say something.
 
cocosweet

cocosweet

Well-Known Member
Nobody polices our hair more than other black folks. Ugh. She saw you getting those compliments and feeling good about yourself and just couldn't stand it. Your hair is not for her entertainment. She needs to keep her negative thoughts to herself.
 
AHeadOfCoils

AHeadOfCoils

Well-Known Member
*Sighs*

I have an aunt that is always trying to give hair advice and I SHUT HER DOWN the other day. I told her "It's funny how you stay talking about somebodies weave, but yo edges are ate up, yo tracks are showing and you only have a couple strands of hair that makes you have a 'ponytail'. GTFO." She told my mom that she doesn't think I like her very much. Ya think?!

Black women with tore up hair need to quit giving "advice".
 
Leeda.the.Paladin

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
It's always people with the most jacked up hair who hand out the most hair advice. OP, I would walk up in there tomorrow with your same bun and dare her to say something.
 
sherrimberri

sherrimberri

Well-Known Member
My situation:

Co-worker: what's wrong with your hair? When are you going to comb it?

Me: what's wrong with your clothes? When are you going to lose some weight?

She haven't said anything else to me since. I'm glad.
 
coolsista-paris

coolsista-paris

Well-Known Member
Welcome sis.i got the same réaction à month ago for my first lace front...everyone "Wow you look so good...Wow you relaxed it...etc..." and manager "there you go,its better like that".. Some sendo the message that "i finally look like à woman." i hâte that comment! I did twists all the time on my natural hair for ps.... So you them Only straight hair goes? I have à black manager who told his employee "its about time you.relax that hair.its not Beautiful "....she had lots offre hair after going natural..hé is with à.white wife .i have nothing against that but dont put your owns down like they're ****.its à free world .wanna relax do it...wanna be natural be it....damn
 
L

Lola28

Well-Known Member
I promise the next off the mark comment I get from someone who FEELS the need to share with me that my hair isn't up to their standards(which is I don't know what, because I'm always presentable)I'm going to politely say "So I should wear it like the hot a$$ mess that's on the top of your head?" With a smile of course, because since we're comfortable being honest with each other, I should be able to what's on my mind as well!:ohwell:

Good you were able to bite your tongue OP. I feel about walking away though:yep:
 
TeeMBL

TeeMBL

Lurker
I had to correct my supervisor last week, who insinuated that my hair was provocative (because I usually wear a bun, and now it's different <-- her words). I had it curled and swooped to one side, yall know being able to swoop your hair to one side and have it look full and long is an accomplishment. Needless to say I tried to let it go, but it bothered my so much that the next day I had to let her know that the comment crossed the line, so I reviewed the dress code with her that allows me to style my hair anyway as long as its neat.

Haters will hate
 
LunaGorgeous

LunaGorgeous

Active Member
cocosweet said:
Nobody polices our hair more than other black folks. Ugh. She saw you getting those compliments and feeling good about yourself and just couldn't stand it. Your hair is not for her entertainment. She needs to keep her negative thoughts to herself.
Click to expand...

KCcurly said:
It's always people with the most jacked up hair who hand out the most hair advice. OP, I would walk up in there tomorrow with your same bun and dare her to say something.
Click to expand...

AHeadOfCoils said:
*Sighs*

Black women with tore up hair need to quit giving "advice".
Click to expand...


Thank you, thank you, and THANK YOU!!! Oh the ignorance from some people...
 
napbella

napbella

Well-Known Member
Sometimes our peeps make me wanna start humming old "negro spirituals" when I hear/see their ignorance..so sad.
 
natural2008

natural2008

Well-Known Member
AHeadOfCoils said:
*Sighs*

I have an aunt that is always trying to give hair advice and I SHUT HER DOWN the other day. I told her "It's funny how you stay talking about somebodies weave, but yo edges are ate up, yo tracks are showing and you only have a couple strands of hair that makes you have a 'ponytail'. GTFO." She told my mom that she doesn't think I like her very much. Ya think?!

Black women with tore up hair need to quit giving "advice".
Click to expand...

AHeadOfCoils- hahahhha lol. U told her :0).
 
janeemat

janeemat

Well-Known Member
I am not the least bit surprised by this. Something very similar happened to me a few weeks ago. I bun alot and then one day wore a wig and got compliments galore. Like the thread I made, there are lots of people that feel your hair is not done when it is in a bun.
 
HighAspirations

HighAspirations

Well-Known Member
I had a friend yesterday and when I was telling her about how I will hennaing my hair and how long my relaxers are stretched she had the nerve to tell me my hair was going to fall out. I figure the proof is in the pudding. Her hair head grown like an inch since November, and mine like 2-3 (APL :) super happy lol) idk people with unhealthy hair always trying to give advice
 
LadyRaider

LadyRaider

Well-Known Member
It could just be ignorance. My mom wore her hair pulled back into a long braid at the back of her head forever. I never understood that and thought the same thing, Mom... do something with your hair.

But that was probably why her hair WAS so long...

When I got older I pretty much did the same thing, though mine was out of laziness and not knowing what else to do with my hair. I would just pull it back into a single pony and because it wasn't as long, I'd just flip the ends under. I was pretty oblivious of hair back then, but looking at pictures even though my hair wasn't all that healthy, it was a lot longer than it was when I started coloring/wearing it down/etc.

Now I wear a french braid down the back, or put a pretty barrette or hair band with my buns.

Anyway... I think people see people with purty hair just wearing it in a pony or bun, and feel as if you should do something with all that purty hair!
 
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