Unequally yoked, need to break the bond

[Minx]

My Dear Christian sisters:

I am in deep need of prayer.
I am ending my relationship of nearly two years to an unsaved man.

He was raised Islamic, although he no longer practises that faith.
I'll tell you what he's into in a minute.

Some background:
We met in college.
When he first approached me, my spirit said "run", and I did,
I brushed him off and kept moving.

But I felt like I was being paranoid, and didn't give him a fair chance.
Turns out we had two classes together, I later started talking to him.
To this day, I regret that decision.

It's a long story,so I won't give you too many details.
Suffice it to say it has been a timultuous two years.
I am paying the price for disobedience.

Anyway, he's very charming, tall and good looking, and is very skilled at manipulating people. I didn't know this until I had fallen for him.
I have tried to leave him, we have agreed to split up many times, but we always end up getting back together.

Until now....I can't take it anymore.

I thought I was woman enough to handle it.
I thought I could pray over this relationship and keep moving.
I thought I could be a light in his dark life, he has such a dark and sinister lifestyle.
I thought maybe God could use me to show him the Way(Jesus).

But being around him, he has brought so much drama into my life.
He drains my energy, and he is extremely mean when he wants to be.
Some days he's funny and talkative, takes me out and shows me a good time.
Other days he's somebody I don't even know who.
He always apologizes and blames it on the medication that he takes for his back injury.

But things have gotten so terrible now.
He's also doing some really off the wall stuff.

He is no longer at the university with me.
He has been put out of for threats to faculty( 2 professors and a book store clerk).
Then he left his nice suburban home, said the expenses were too much and he was tired of his shiftless sons not helping, so he put them out and he's now living out of his van and out of hotels ( he thought he could stay with me, but I don't play that).
But he says he likes "being free" and living that way.

Now he's doing some really off the wall stuff.
He's back into the music business being a street hustler, hustling CD's with a group of teenagers, male and female out of his van.
He's 42!!!!!!!!
I told him he needs some antipsychotic medication because I think he's losing his mind.

My dear sisters,
I made a terrible, terrible mistake.
I can't help this man!!!

This is where the demonic activity comes in
He's a Hip Hop producers and has a group which consists of his son and and several other rappers.
I need to warn those of you who are parents, if your children listen to Hip Hop, be on the look out for this group.
The name of the group is Godfella's.....
they are stating in their lyrics that the Black man is God and that the worse thing the white man ever did to the black man was to teach him to believe in a mystery God.
These are the teachings of the cult called the five percent nation of god's and earth's....I learned about them right before I met him, so I was already aware of thier teachings.
They are a demonic cult and their lies come straight from the pit of hell.

In addition, this man told me yesterday that he's teaching this garbage to all the black youth he comes into contact with.
He says he's building an army to come against Christians, the white man, and all Blacks who are "sell outs" living the white man's lifestyle.
He says he's preparing to go to war.
He does carry a gun.

So I told him he can either let that stuff go or I go.
I told him that the devil is just using him, and that's why his mind is so twisted, he's possessed.
I told him the path he is on leads to death.
He of course was offended and left my house, but not before telling me that he doesn't care if he dies.....he has four children, ages 9-21.

I got out my Bible to study the word.
I fasted and I prayed all day.
I cried and called out to my savior Jesus Christ for forgiveness.
I want deliverence from this situation.

I know this is the devil, I know it.
I need help with these spirits.
I have rebuked them in the name of Jesus.

But I need prayer because I am hurting that it has come to this.
Why wasn't I able to help him?
I wanted God to use me to turn this man around.
Instead, I wasn't able to do anything to help him get right, in fact he has gotten progressively worse.

Now I need healing, I am weary and I am weak.

I am too ashamed to tell my family and friends, or go to my Bishop.
nobody knows what I have just shared with you all.

But I can't do this by myself anymore.

Y'all please pray for me.

dk

 

[MoMo]

I am sending a prayer up for you. This must be very difficult to deal with and we all get into situations not pleasing to the Father and must deal with Him. The only salvation is to seek his forgiveness and rely on faith. May God bless you.

 

[natural_one]

i have been in your situation and one thing my pastor told me was that there is no such thing as "missionary" dating. If the guy isnt saved when you first get with him dont expect him to get saved just because you are together.

 

[cutiestyles]

I'll keep you in my prayers dkbeauti. We serve a Great God whose mercies are renewed every morning! Keep close to him he is faithful and will deliver you from this situation.

I know you are going through pain right now but continue to put your faith in God. Don't give the devil a chance he comes to kill and destroy.

You have Christ in your life that is more precious & powerful than anything. In his name you have victory.

Pray for this man thats the best you can do. Think about your own health, spirituality and state of mind. Don't put yourself in a potentially harmful situation. Leave the rest to God.

 

[Shimmie]

My Dear Christian sisters:

I am in deep need of prayer.
I am ending my relationship of nearly two years to an unsaved man.

He was raised Islamic, although he no longer practises that faith.
I'll tell you what he's into in a minute.

Some background:
We met in college.
When he first approached me, my spirit said "run", and I did,
I brushed him off and kept moving.

But I felt like I was being paranoid, and didn't give him a fair chance.
Turns out we had two classes together, I later started talking to him.
To this day, I regret that decision.

It's a long story,so I won't give you too many details.
Suffice it to say it has been a timultuous two years.
I am paying the price for disobedience.

Anyway, he's very charming, tall and good looking, and is very skilled at manipulating people. I didn't know this until I had fallen for him.
I have tried to leave him, we have agreed to split up many times, but we always end up getting back together.

Until now....I can't take it anymore.

I thought I was woman enough to handle it.
I thought I could pray over this relationship and keep moving.
I thought I could be a light in his dark life, he has such a dark and sinister lifestyle.
I thought maybe God could use me to show him the Way(Jesus).

But being around him, he has brought so much drama into my life.
He drains my energy, and he is extremely mean when he wants to be.
Some days he's funny and talkative, takes me out and shows me a good time.
Other days he's somebody I don't even know who.
He always apologizes and blames it on the medication that he takes for his back injury.

But things have gotten so terrible now.
He's also doing some really off the wall stuff.

He is no longer at the university with me.
He has been put out of for threats to faculty( 2 professors and a book store clerk).
Then he left his nice suburban home, said the expenses were too much and he was tired of his shiftless sons not helping, so he put them out and he's now living out of his van and out of hotels ( he thought he could stay with me, but I don't play that).
But he says he likes "being free" and living that way.

Now he's doing some really off the wall stuff.
He's back into the music business being a street hustler, hustling CD's with a group of teenagers, male and female out of his van.
He's 42!!!!!!!!
I told him he needs some antipsychotic medication because I think he's losing his mind.

My dear sisters,
I made a terrible, terrible mistake.
I can't help this man!!!

This is where the demonic activity comes in
He's a Hip Hop producers and has a group which consists of his son and and several other rappers.
I need to warn those of you who are parents, if your children listen to Hip Hop, be on the look out for this group.
The name of the group is Godfella's.....
they are stating in their lyrics that the Black man is God and that the worse thing the white man ever did to the black man was to teach him to believe in a mystery God.
These are the teachings of the cult called the five percent nation of god's and earth's....I learned about them right before I met him, so I was already aware of thier teachings.
They are a demonic cult and their lies come straight from the pit of hell.

In addition, this man told me yesterday that he's teaching this garbage to all the black youth he comes into contact with.
He says he's building an army to come against Christians, the white man, and all Blacks who are "sell outs" living the white man's lifestyle.
He says he's preparing to go to war.
He does carry a gun.

So I told him he can either let that stuff go or I go.
I told him that the devil is just using him, and that's why his mind is so twisted, he's possessed.
I told him the path he is on leads to death.
He of course was offended and left my house, but not before telling me that he doesn't care if he dies.....he has four children, ages 9-21.

I got out my Bible to study the word.
I fasted and I prayed all day.
I cried and called out to my savior Jesus Christ for forgiveness.
I want deliverence from this situation.

I know this is the devil, I know it.
I need help with these spirits.
I have rebuked them in the name of Jesus.

But I need prayer because I am hurting that it has come to this.
Why wasn't I able to help him?
I wanted God to use me to turn this man around.
Instead, I wasn't able to do anything to help him get right, in fact he has gotten progressively worse.

Now I need healing, I am weary and I am weak.

I am too ashamed to tell my family and friends, or go to my Bishop.
nobody knows what I have just shared with you all.

But I can't do this by myself anymore.

Y'all please pray for me.

dk

Dearest one, you are free. Stop berating yourself for this encounter with this man. It's all over now. But you aren't and neither is your life. As a matter of fact...life is just beginning all over for you.

Angel. was it not painful for Jesus during His entire stay...His process upon the cross that He endured for us? Was it not painful for the long hours and suffering and torture. Angel, as painful as it was, it's now over.

And so it is with you. It's all over. And you can begin again. But you are not alone. Jesus who paid the price of your Destiny is right there with you to lead and guide in His loving arms to take you there all the way. And as promised by Him, "I will never leave you nor forsake you...no not ever.'

Vent, share, and let it go. You are not to blame. It's all over. Its time to begin again.

 

[Minx]

Sisters,

Thank you all so much for encouraging me.
But can I be honest with you all?

As a Christian woman I know I should not have even the slightest interest in this man considering his demonic ways.
However, as I sit here, I still long for him (please forgive me).
Why can't I control that?

I just wanted God to step in and save him, cleanse his spirit, make him turn from his evil ways, so we can be together.

Nevermind.
I am so depressed, I'm not thinking right.
I know to want him does not even make sense.

We have talked on the phone several times today.

I told him I was moving on.
He was like, "Oh, so you leaving me now, huh? You leaving me?"

We went back and forth exchanging words for a while, and while I tried to stay calm, I got angry.
I yelled at him, he yelled at me, and then I began to cry.

He had absolutley no compassion, he just blew me off.
Said some hurtful things and hung up.

But then he called me back a couple of hours later.

He said, "So tell me, yes or no, are you leaving me? Just so we can be clear. I need understanding on this."

I said, "I've already said all I have to say."

He said,"Well, can we seperate in peace, instead of you being all like that? Are we good?"

I said,"No, I'm too upset to be peaceful. It's not okay that this went down. It's not okay that you're doing what you are doing. No we're not 'good'. I'm not giving you what you want."

So he hung up again.

I had to say it to him like that.
He has always done that every other time we have split up,
asked can we end in peace and all that jazz.
He uses it to manipulate me later.

He always wants to leave things "on a nice note".
Cause when he's ready, he uses his charm to work his way back into my life.

He'll start by sending me text messages saying "miss you" and "need you."
Or he'll call me in the middle of the night saying he "can't sleep and needs to talk."

If I don't answer, he'll leave me voices messages saying he
"just wanted to check up" on me.
Or he'll call my house phone if I don't answer my cell.
If I still don't answer, he'll send me emails saying "please come over" or asking can he see me "one last time".

If I do answer his calls after several days or a week, he'll ask to take me out to dinner, just to talk.
I say to myself, 'Go head. Let him see what he's missing out on.'
So I get dressed up all pretty and smelling good to go meet him.
And when we see each other, that all it takes, that spark is there.
There's something that pulls us together.

The last time we seperated, I just ignored him completely.
I've learned that's what I need to do, cause I can't handle seeing him.
But he showed up at my apartment, out of the blue.
And when I saw him.....I couldn't resist.
I opened the door and let him in.
We picked up right where we left off like nothing had happened.

I'm so sick and tired of this.

That's what I mean when I say this is some kind of spirit.
No man has ever had this kind of hold on me.

I'm not an ignorant person.
I'm not a young girl.
I'm a college educated woman, so I should be smarter than this.
Why has my intelligence left me?

I feel so pathetic.

I have been crying and I mean boo-hoo'ing here in my apartment today.

I am so depressed, I have not been out.

I have barely eaten today.

I have not combed my hair or showered.

I just feel so miserable.

I'm ashamed to say I really love this man, even with all his problems, I love him.
But then again, "this" man is not the man I fell in love with!( or thought I fell in love with).
Why in the world would I love somebody like him?

This is a cruel trick of the enemy, he's playing with my emotions, sending somebody like him into my life.

Lord, help me!

I'm so broken, God knows I am aching, down in my soul, in my bones, I'm in so much pain.

I want to be well.
I need to be well.
I am so wounded.
I feel so depleted..........


dk

 

[secretdiamond]

WOW. I'm so sorry you have found yourself here--- so torn. I know how it feels to feel trapped in a relationship and KNOWING that you need to get out of it. And also, feeling like there's no one you can tell.

It's sooo easy to go back and think that the man you fell in love with is still there. HE'S NOT. In fact, maybe "he" never was really there. What you see now is the real him-- no smoke and no mirrors. YOU NEED TO CUT HIM OUT COLD TURKEY. No phone calls, block texts, and don't answer the door.

If you TRULY have faith that God will deliver you from this, you will begin to set it in motion yourself. You will step out of your comfort zone into an unknown, while only having ONE THING--- and that's faith in God. I love the saying, "Faith without works is DEAD." God doesn't help those who don't help themselves.

I know it's scary and I know it's hard. Trust me. But God has given you glaring signs that you should be out of this situation.

About you thinking you can influence him as a Christian in his life. I'm sure you know now that God has not chosen you for that role. Everyone has a purpose in life that God grants, this one is not yours. I can say this, b/c I used to think the same thing. Boy was I wrong and I paid for it.

PLEASE be strong and leave him. I pray (and know) that God will stay with you.

 

[Creatividual]

i have been in your situation and one thing my pastor told me was that there is no such thing as "missionary" dating. If the guy isnt saved when you first get with him dont expect him to get saved just because you are together.

ITA and I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Choclatcotton]

I have 3 close friends in a similar situation. Will hold you up in prayer

 

[Shimmie]

Sisters,

Thank you all so much for encouraging me.
But can I be honest with you all?

As a Christian woman I know I should not have even the slightest interest in this man considering his demonic ways.
However, as I sit here, I still long for him (please forgive me).
Why can't I control that?

I just wanted God to step in and save him, cleanse his spirit, make him turn from his evil ways, so we can be together.

Nevermind.
I am so depressed, I'm not thinking right.
I know to want him does not even make sense.

We have talked on the phone several times today.

I told him I was moving on.
He was like, "Oh, so you leaving me now, huh? You leaving me?"

We went back and forth exchanging words for a while, and while I tried to stay calm, I got angry.
I yelled at him, he yelled at me, and then I began to cry.

He had absolutley no compassion, he just blew me off.
Said some hurtful things and hung up.

But then he called me back a couple of hours later.

He said, "So tell me, yes or no, are you leaving me? Just so we can be clear. I need understanding on this."

I said, "I've already said all I have to say."

He said,"Well, can we seperate in peace, instead of you being all like that? Are we good?"

I said,"No, I'm too upset to be peaceful. It's not okay that this went down. It's not okay that you're doing what you are doing. No we're not 'good'. I'm not giving you what you want."

So he hung up again.

I had to say it to him like that.
He has always done that every other time we have split up,
asked can we end in peace and all that jazz.
He uses it to manipulate me later.

He always wants to leave things "on a nice note".
Cause when he's ready, he uses his charm to work his way back into my life.

He'll start by sending me text messages saying "miss you" and "need you."
Or he'll call me in the middle of the night saying he "can't sleep and needs to talk."

If I don't answer, he'll leave me voices messages saying he
"just wanted to check up" on me.
Or he'll call my house phone if I don't answer my cell.
If I still don't answer, he'll send me emails saying "please come over" or asking can he see me "one last time".

If I do answer his calls after several days or a week, he'll ask to take me out to dinner, just to talk.
I say to myself, 'Go head. Let him see what he's missing out on.'
So I get dressed up all pretty and smelling good to go meet him.
And when we see each other, that all it takes, that spark is there.
There's something that pulls us together.

The last time we seperated, I just ignored him completely.
I've learned that's what I need to do, cause I can't handle seeing him.
But he showed up at my apartment, out of the blue.
And when I saw him.....I couldn't resist.
I opened the door and let him in.
We picked up right where we left off like nothing had happened.

I'm so sick and tired of this.

That's what I mean when I say this is some kind of spirit.
No man has ever had this kind of hold on me.

I'm not an ignorant person.
I'm not a young girl.
I'm a college educated woman, so I should be smarter than this.
Why has my intelligence left me?

I feel so pathetic.

I have been crying and I mean boo-hoo'ing here in my apartment today.

I am so depressed, I have not been out.

I have barely eaten today.

I have not combed my hair or showered.

I just feel so miserable.

I'm ashamed to say I really love this man, even with all his problems, I love him.
But then again, "this" man is not the man I fell in love with!( or thought I fell in love with).
Why in the world would I love somebody like him?

This is a cruel trick of the enemy, he's playing with my emotions, sending somebody like him into my life.

Lord, help me!

I'm so broken, God knows I am aching, down in my soul, in my bones, I'm in so much pain.

I want to be well.
I need to be well.
I am so wounded.
I feel so depleted..........


dk

Angel...You are woman and you fell in love. That's all. You simply fell in love. Love sees no differences in color, opinions, lifestyles, faiths...Love is what it is...it's simply love.

Just because you love this man, doesn't make you a sinner. You are human and humans fall in love. I had to put this out there for you, for you are being too hard on yourself. And I sense a spirit of fear.

Now so what if you fell in love with a non-Christian. It's not the end of the world and it is NOT a sin! Being unequally yoked can also be with a Christian as well.

Mind you, I am not defying God's word which says, (Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers), but this is not limited to non-Christians. Baby girl, you loved this man and loving anyone will NEVER be a sin. Never! You're making this too hard on yourself to heal.

Do you know that there are 'Chrisitian' men who are treating Christian women the same as this man has been treating you? Stop shooting yourself ... blaming / torturing yourself for loving a non believer. It's not because he's a non-believer that he is treating you this way. He's just a mean-spirited person, that's all. And this comes in ALL sizes, colors, races AND FAITHS...including Christians.

Again... You are not being treated this way because he is not a Christian....so stop allowing satan to torture you with that.

We ALL make mistakes in life. Even the ones who throw scripture at you and blame you for your mistakes. They too have missed the mark. For all have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God. ALL means all. All have sinned and have missed it in this life.

It's not the loving of this man that is wrong, it is the hardness and the unforgiveness toward yourself that is making this difficult for you. You've already acknowledged and you have chosen to leave this relationship. That's all that is required of you. Don't feel guilty about loving him. In time, that will change to the feelings which should be. God is not mad at you; neither is He out to punish you. He simply wants to set you free and lead you into your precious Destiny which He before-ordained for you, before you were born.

Stop hating yourself for being in love. Accept it for what it is and continue to move on where God has plans for you. In time, you'll be aware that those feelings are no longer there.

Let God love you through this and set you free. He loves you just that much and more. Don't be afraid anymore. Just be loved by God our Father who forgave you a long time ago...for everything; including this.

((( Big sister hugs )))

 

[Minx]

God bless you, ladies.
Thanks again for your words of wisdom and thank you for understanding.

I'm hanging in there.

I got out of the house today, trying to lift my spirits.

I'm taking some time to redirect my attention and focus on me now.
It's time for healing and restoration.

You don't know what you've done for me.
You helped pull me through in my darkest hour.

For that I will be forever grateful to you all.


Loving you with the love of Christ,
dk

 

[Naijaqueen]

My dear you did right, now cut off all contact with him, change your # if you have to.

God's plans for you are to make you prosper and not to harm you. He has someone even better planned for you, who will fall in line with His plan for your life! Claim him now, claim that good, Christian man that God has for you. Claim him in faith, keep that vision in your mind and in your heart.

God promised in Isaiah 41:10 that we should not be afraid, that He'll strengthen us and uphold us with His righteous right hand. He made you, and made you good, in the name of Jesus you are free!