Spin-off: Avoiding Disastrous Salon Experiences - Collective Wisdom

[YvetteWithJoy]

I detangle in sections as well. And with coconut oil in four sections... The last lady I mentioned who moved, she is the ONLY one who detangled my hair in sections and carefully, like I mentioned, when she was caring for my hair, it grew, it was healthy. I still speak to her on a regular and I call her on hair advice sometime. Anywho I do think you're right though, it could be a miss as far as knowledge goes. I've gotta look up the funnel method for detangling though... Coconut Oil and Running water works, but, I'd love to see another way!

This is it.

It's a lot of passes with tools, so I wouldn't do it if not necessary. It may be causing mechanical damage. I don't know.

My hair looks a LOT like the lady's in the video who's doing the funnel method. If I try to finger detangle only, shed hair remains, knots remain, and it takes HOURS and HOURS and HOURS.

So, my strategy is to try to keep my hair from fully shrinking and to do the funnel method only twice a month if I can instead of every wash.

ETA:

I shower steam my DC in (and then optionally grab a detangler such as Soultanicals Hair Glide) and then do the Funnel Method in one of several ways:

Favorite way: Wet brush, then course-toothed comb, then fine-toothed comb.
Other: Fingers, then Wet brush, then course-toothed comb, then fingers.
Other: Fingers, then Wet brush, then course-toothed comb, then fine-toothed comb.

 

[sweethair]

These salons claim to do natural hair because that's what is in. They want to stay current and make money. I just damaged my hair going to two stylist. I wish I knew how to straighten my own hair. My husband and family were practically begging for me to wear my hair out. It had been 9 years since I let any one touch my hair. The first stylist, referred by a friend was amazing she made feel confident. I had no edges after my massive shedding due to postpartum. She couldn't make me a regular because had was fully booked for months. So my friend referred me to another stylist. Of course I trusted her judgement, I was wrong. She was rough and then told me I should come to her regularly and don't look at YouTube. The last stylist i vetted and She claimed she did natural hair but apparently not mine. Didn't wash in Sections was rough and caused so much breakage. I lost thickness and 3 inches. I will never let anyone touch my hair aside from the first stylist that I liked. Im determined to learn my hair. We spend hours detangling and treating our hair like silk for a stylist to destroy it in minutes.

 

[NaturalShe94]

This is it.

It's a lot of passes with tools, so I wouldn't do it if not necessary. It may be causing mechanical damage. I don't know.

My hair looks a LOT like the lady's in the video who's doing the funnel method. If I try to finger detangle only, shed hair remains, knots remain, and it takes HOURS and HOURS and HOURS.

So, my strategy is to try to keep my hair from fully shrinking and to do the funnel method only twice a month if I can instead of every wash.

ETA:

I shower steam my DC in (and then optionally grab a detangler such as Soultanicals Hair Glide) and then do the Funnel Method in one of several ways:

Favorite way: Wet brush, then course-toothed comb, then fine-toothed comb.
Other: Fingers, then Wet brush, then course-toothed comb, then fingers.
Other: Fingers, then Wet brush, then course-toothed comb, then fine-toothed comb.

I just watched it. Her strands are really fine. I see why that method would be great.When I saw the fine tooth comb at the beginning I was thinking "YIKES! That seems like danger" but I see how it works. Great method for fine hair! Gotta send it to my bestie, her hair is 4b and fine as well and she is still trying to find a way to properly detangle. Thanks!!

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

These salons claim to do natural hair because that's what is in. They want to stay current and make money. I just damaged my hair going to two stylist. I wish I knew how to straighten my own hair. My husband and family were partially begging for me to wear my hair out. It had been 9 years since I let any one touch my hair. The first stylist, referred by a friend was amazing she made feel confident. I had no edges after my massive shedding due to postpartum. She couldn't make me a regular because had was fully booked for months. So my friend referred me to another stylist. Of course I trusted her judgement, I was wrong. She was rough and then told me I should come to her regularly and don't look at YouTube. The last stylist i vetted and She claimed she did natural hair but apparently not mine. Didn't wash in Sections was rough and caused so much breakage. I lost thickness and 3 inches. I will never let anyone touch my hair aside from the first stylist that I liked. Im determined to learn my hair. We spend hours detangling and treating our hair like silk for a stylist to destroy it in minutes.

I agree 100% with the bolded. I really believe that's what's going on.

So, not to put you on the spot but to help others:

• She was rough with your hair and you lost thickness and 3 inches. Why didn't you get up and leave in the middle?
• Did you pay?
• Do you feel like were you to go back in time you could have responded/acted differently?

PLEASE feel free to disregard my questions. I don't want to put anyone on the spot. I just feel like it's happening: Hair is getting damaged. I understand that some folks don't need to think or reflect about this, but I feel some of us do. Sometimes when we think aloud and reflect, others receive knowledge/help.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[sweethair]

@ YvetteWithJoy I have tight coils and both stylist washed without sections. They were rough with detangling and blow drying. I have fine hair so this caused tons of knots and split end. Then they cut 1 1/2 To 2 inches during my appointments claiming it was due to my handling of my hair. Not because they have idea how to do 4c hair and their idea of detangling is ripping to comb through my hair.

I didn't say anything the first time because I just wants to believe she was good because my friend was right about the previous stylist She referred so I wanted to give her a chance. I did stop her when she attempted to flat iron my hair at a 2nd pass. She cause some heat damage but not too much.

With the last stylist I just felt defeated. I stressed my importance of my hair and She acted like she cared but it was a lie. I had a wedding to go to and was going away for my bday. I just cried on the way home vowing never again let a stylist touch me unless it was the first one I went to. My friend felt bad and was able to get me another appointment with her. But the damage was done. She said it will take a year to get the thickness back but she made feel better. Shes so good. I hope to see her again. But for now I'm wearing a wig give my hair a break from the heat.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

@ YvetteWithJoy I have tight coils and both stylist washed without sections. They were rough with detangling and blow drying. I have fine hair so this caused tons of knots and split end. Then they cut 1 1/2 To 2 inches during my appointments claiming it was due to my handling of my hair. Not because they have idea how to do 4c hair and their idea of detangling is ripping to comb through my hair.

I didn't say anything the first time because I just wants to believe she was good because my friend was right about the previous stylist She referred so I wanted to give her a chance. I did stop her when she attempted to flat iron my hair at a 2nd pass. She cause some heat damage but not too much.

With the last stylist I just felt defeated. I stressed my importance of my hair and She acted like she cared but it was a lie. I had a wedding to go to and was going away for my bday. I just cried on the way home vowing never again let a stylist touch me unless it was the first one I went to. My friend felt bad and was able to get me another appointment with her. But the damage was done. She said it will take a year to get the thickness back but she made feel better. She so great. I hope to see her again. But for now I'm wearing a wig give my hair a break from the heat.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[Colocha]

Make sure you see photos of a stylist doing hair similar to your type and density. I made the mistake of trusting the majority of happy customers from the salon I went to (Diaspora) when they were all loose-curl patterned Diva cut clients. I have kinky hair and wanted a blowout. She didn't have a single person with long kinky hair featured on her social media and the one relevant picture was a broken off, tiny spiral curl with the caption "We do all hair types." I know. I should've run.

After a salon visit that goes south, first stop and take a deep breath. Do something you enjoy so you don't deal with your hair until you're ready. Then take methods to stop damage as quickly as possible. Trim any splits you see, henna your hair if you do that, hide it away and don't look at length photos for a while. It'll get better.

 

[discodumpling]

I think that's how she-he grew out my hair

Was this she-he named "Crystal" ? I had a trans gendered hairstylist once that was AMAZING...wish I could find him again!

 

[bubbles12345]

I guess another thought for why some of us aren't confrontational....

You're at the salon with other women getting their hair done too. And everyone is getting their hair treated the same way.... Rough! You may be like if no one else is complaining about how their hair is getting treated, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should trust the stylist and that things will turn out ok since they are "professional."

 

[Saludable84]

Plus, we must not forget that women, especially black women, are socialized from birth to not make a fuss or be a burden, to always be polite, and to put the needs of others before themselves.

Still, I cut the sistas some slack because I recognize that everyone isn't willing to karate chop a mo in their thoat at the first sign of foolishness.

I used the be the first. Now, I am the second.

This is what you will not do:
Tell me my hair is bad
Tell me how many years of experience you have styling hair when I'm telling you how many years of experience I've had with bad stylists
Tell me you aren't using my products
Tell me I don't know my hair
Pull an okie doke
Use your .99 chewed up rat tail comb when I bought you 3 high quality combs
Detangle my hair without conditioner
Continue blowing my hair when there is smoke
Trim my hair while I'm not looking

And probably a slew of other things I've had to speak up on.

 

[Coilystep]

I only go get my hair colored at the salon. I don't depend on them for actual styles. I go to a salon that specializes in natural hair but I'm definitely not satisfied with them. I have shown them YouTube videos of how I prefer my hair styled and they still don't get it so I only let them color it. I've repeatedly have told them when styling my hair and applying products that they need to go in sections and shingle but they don't seem to get it.
I have noticed that they do well with either short natural styles or long straight styles. I'm not interested in straight styles so I just stick to doing my hair myself and only going when I need color and I only let them color it not style it.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Was this she-he named "Crystal" ? I had a trans gendered hairstylist once that was AMAZING...wish I could find him again!

No, that wasn't it. I've forgotten his-her name but would recognize it if I heard it.

I should have known she was a he-she. I didn't find out until way later. So many clues I missed, but back then transgender people were much rarer.

Clues:

Had a voice like a velvety-toned Snagglepuss. Remember that cartoon from our childhood that said "Heaven to megatroyds" or whatever it was?

Had larger-than-normal, powerful, shampooing hands. I'm serious when I say the scalp massage could have brought me an O. Dead. Serious. Not playing.

And one day a playpen and a baby just showed up in the salon one day. She-he didn't use daycare.

Final: Slight, slight Adams apple. Super slight though, in my defense.

Yeah. I miss her-him. Healthiest my hair ever was. Just uber thick growth. One day he-she just bounced on us all with not one word of notice. Relocated somewhere in Atlanta, my bestie later told me.

 

[BrownBetty]

A lot of stylist are going by what they were taught in school and haven't updated/furthered their skills.

My stylist is natural but a straight natural. I let her wash my hair once and said never again. She didn't wash or add conditioner in section. I asked her how she expected to coat all the strands if she just threw the conditioner on top.

Now she just does my installs. I show up with my hair washed, conditioned, and detangled.

When I was transitioning I tried a couple of stylist. There were a couple that I walked out of with wet hair and "a you got me f### up" but the ones I didn't I had an event that day and couldn't show up looking crazy so I endured.

It sucks because you go to the salon to be pampered. You shouldn't have to watch the stylist like a hawk and feel like you will possible enter into a fight club match.

My suggestion is to:
-Go meet the stylist. See how they react to your hair. Watch the body language. If they recoil or say something negative, leave.
-Ask if they have natural hair clients and what they have done in the salon. If they are just blowing out hair and you want a twist out that may not work.
-Buy a couple of wigs that you love. I only have one but plan to try a couple more. This way if the stylist acts a monkey fool you can snatch off your cape dramatically tell em to kiss your adouble then walk out. Even if you have an event you have a back up plan.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

A lot of stylist are going by what they were taught in school and haven't updated/furthered their skills.

My stylist is natural but a straight natural. I let her wash my hair once and said never again. She didn't wash or add conditioner in section. I asked her how she expected to coat all the strands if she just threw the conditioner on top.

Now she just does my installs. I show up with my hair washed, conditioned, and detangled.

When I was transitioning I tried a couple of stylist. There were a couple that I walked out of with wet hair and "a you got me f### up" but the ones I didn't I had an event that day and couldn't show up looking crazy so I endured.

It sucks because you go to the salon to be pampered. You shouldn't have to watch the stylist like a hawk and feel like you will possible enter into a fight club match.

My suggestion is to:
-Go meet the stylist. See how they react to your hair. Watch the body language. If they recoil or say something negative, leave.
-Ask if they have natural hair clients and what they have done in the salon. If they are just blowing out hair and you want a twist out that may not work.
-Buy a couple of wigs that you love. I only have one but plan to try a couple more. This way if the stylist acts a monkey fool you can snatch off your cape dramatically tell em to kiss your adouble then walk out. Even if you have an event you have a back up plan.

Helpful!!!

That wig idea: Genius!