Frustrated Transitioner!!!<--Intervention Needed

mscounselor

mscounselor

New Member
I woke up this morning excited about doing my 2nd CW. It came out pretty good since I mixed MNT, Suave Coconut, and Suave Awapuhi. I go to use what I believe are mesh rollers and they wouldn't stay taut!! My hair got really fuzzy and tangled all over again. :mad: I had to rewet then reset with the magnetics. I really feel like making an appointment with my stylist down south to help me transition to a texturizer. That's how frustrated I am. The Bantu didn't work, the flexirods are a joke, and my roller sets arent cutting it. :wallbash: The buns make me look like I have a helmet. I am just not doing this right it seems.

I need some divine intervention or a picture for some inspiration. PUHLEASE!!
 
Umm, I say if you have access to a Dominican salon, go get your hair blown out and leave it alone for two weeks. After a week or so you'll probably start missing your waves and curls and will be so happy that you didn't relax. That's what I do when I get really tired of fooling with my hair.
 
Maybe you can airdry and flat iron just the roots? Then go back and use the flexirdos, rollers, etc. Also, have you tried braidouts or twistouts?
 
Echoing have you tried braidouts &twistouts? Also, if you are trying to transition you have to stop expecting your hair to behave as if it were relaxed. IMHO
 
i feel your pain. no style worked for me while i got deeper and deeper into my transitioning process... that's why i decided to CUT IT ALL OFF! :grin:

if you dont wanna cut it off, have you even considered cornrows, box braids, or extensions???
 
Oh I sooooo feel you! Hang in there, though and try not to think of what it is...but rather what it will be. I definitely suggest looking at some albums. I love love love... looking at blue flower's album. She has the prettiest hair! check her out... she's here on LHCF. Netta1 also has some awesome hair... I love her most recent pics. Those are two people that come to mind immediately (4a, 4a/b). BlackCardinal and NurseN28 are recent choppers who transitioned for about a year and a half/2 years...also really nice hair.

Keep your eyes on the prize! I started having problems with my hair around this time (hopefully you won't have the aftermath that I did though ;-) )... you will get through it... just hang in there!

I second the person who suggested twists and twistouts, braids and braidouts :) ... they are good at blending the textures!
 
I also feel you. But guess what? When I feel discouraged during my transition I head right on over to the long transitioners' albums (and this includes you!) You along with bubln, peachtree (18 month transitioner), tai (1 yr. and counting), sasha and countless other LHCF ladies inspire me.

I agree with everyone else. Have you tried braidouts, twistouts, box braids, occasional dominican blowout, double strand twists, caruso rollers, etc? I think that once you find your style, it will get a lot easier. Someone mentioned that your hair won't act like relaxed hair, and she's right. I think the transition period (esp. for you since you're aiming for a long one) is the time to play with styles. Don't give up, you just might be someone else's inspiration. :eek:

ETA: And if you haven't tried it, a clarifying shampoo (followed by a deep moisturizing conditioner) might help your hair 'act right' if you haven't done it in a while.
 
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btw, hairlove, bublnbrnsuga, peachtree, mkstar826, and many others have been successful transitioners who waited over a year to cut off their relaxed ends.... so check out their albums. ;)
 
mscounselor said:
I woke up this morning excited about doing my 2nd CW. It came out pretty good since I mixed MNT, Suave Coconut, and Suave Awapuhi. I go to use what I believe are mesh rollers and they wouldn't stay taut!! My hair got really fuzzy and tangled all over again. :mad: I had to rewet then reset with the magnetics. I really feel like making an appointment with my stylist down south to help me transition to a texturizer. That's how frustrated I am. The Bantu didn't work, the flexirods are a joke, and my roller sets arent cutting it. :wallbash: The buns make me look like I have a helmet. I am just not doing this right it seems.

I need some divine intervention or a picture for some inspiration. PUHLEASE!!
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WEAVE IT UP!!!! Girl I feel you. Not too long ago I was there to. The thing that helps me is putting my hair way so I can't see it. Sew in weaves and braids a re transitioners friend. My hairhas been weaved for almost three weeks and I am getting individual braids nxt week. The key to successful transitioing is dealing with your hair as little as possible. Do not attempt to wear straight styles in summer...especially if you live somewhere that is humid liek it is here...your hair will jsut puffy up and the two textures will frustrate you to no end. One of my many transiton buddies, TAI, told me this same information and I have been AOK everysince. PM me anytime for a shoulder missy
 
:) It's gonna be ok, it takes a bit but as your hair changes you will find what will work for it at that stage.

I'm gonna suggest braidouts/twistouts or something like that too.... Towards the end of my transition, my braid/bun (my fave hair style) started looking kinda crappy & old and I started doing braidouts and then would put that in a pony. But honestly when it gets to the point you just hate dealing with your hair, I would say go on and chop. I had planned a 2 year transition but got sick of it about 7 months early.
 
I think we started transitioning around the same time. I'm sure you know I BC'd last week. I co-sign with some of the other posts that you may want to try a twist out or a braid out, but I'm now a BC advocate. I don't know what made me think my lazy behind could transition for a year. I'm real low maintenance. But seriously, your hair will thank you for it, and it will end your frustration. You will have a clean slate. New head of natural hair to play with. I've seen your album, I think you'd look adorable with TWA!!!
 
I agree with the others. If you want to go natural you do not want to do a texturizer. Its just more growth you will lose when you finally go natural. Try to lay off a lot of heat. I got heat damage trying to maintain the straight look when my hair just wasnt having it. If you do a roller set instead of doing one with the intention of wearing it straight, try just unraveling the curls so it has a tossled, spiral loook. That will help mask your roots a while longer. One that that helped me also was to change from cream/water based moisturizers to light oils. The other kinds just caused my roots to go "POOF" as soon as I hit the summer air.

It will all be worth it in the end. I looked at my hair today and smiled ear to ear. I love it. :)
 
I went to type a paper and came back to all this love!!! :p

Cali-I would consider the dominican blowout, but I vowed all that heat was for special occasions only. It wouldn't last 2 weeks though. My hair would get way to dirty!

Natalie-I'm going to do the braid out on my next poo wash. Wish me luck.

Mecca-LOL I think I want the waves to hurry up. I'm crazy I know. I guess that's why I'm in mental health. :lachen: :crazy:

Poohbear- I had a bad experience with braids and extensions. Too much hair and a 4 day head ache.

Thursday- I think I need to start cutting out inspiration pictures and put them next to my quotes. That should help me...I think.

Cupcake- Awww. :notworthy I'm an inspiration? I never knew. That comment alone makes me want to continue.
Q. How do you do a double two strand twist?

Tonya- Someone elses hair in mine is like the Hutu's and Tutsi's-war! They don't agree. I agree with the summer comment. Once i get the wash and go Florida wont have a THING on me. :eyebrows2 Thanks for the shoulder as well.

Nurse-My goal was transition at the leat stressful/involved time which is now during my last courses and internship. Maybe next summer I'll BC before I go back to being fully employed.

Curli- I'm samson and I'm scared of the scissors. :eek: I'll get the nerve eventually. But you pave the path for people like me though

Thank you all for your comments. I do feel better. :) That and I pounded my frustration out on my keyboard :grin:
 
Enchantmt said:
I agree with the others. If you want to go natural you do not want to do a texturizer. Its just more growth you will lose when you finally go natural. Try to lay off a lot of heat. I got heat damage trying to maintain the straight look when my hair just wasnt having it. If you do a roller set instead of doing one with the intention of wearing it straight, try just unraveling the curls so it has a tossled, spiral loook. That will help mask your roots a while longer. One that that helped me also was to change from cream/water based moisturizers to light oils. The other kinds just caused my roots to go "POOF" as soon as I hit the summer air.

It will all be worth it in the end. I looked at my hair today and smiled ear to ear. I love it. :)
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Thanx enchantment. I actually couldn't use cream based products because my hair was so thin. I am using Africa's Best oil in my hair and working on a formula of my own moisturizer with almond oil or something like that.
I know it will be worth it. I am just impatient and have senioritis for this whole Grad school thing to be over.
 
mscounselor said:
Thanx enchantment. I actually couldn't use cream based products because my hair was so thin. I am using Africa's Best oil in my hair and working on a formula of my own moisturizer with almond oil or something like that.
I know it will be worth it. I am just impatient and have senioritis for this whole Grad school thing to be over.
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The one thing for sure that transitioning and being natural teaches you is patience. It can be a tough lesson to learn though! MsCounselor, hang in there you can stick it out a little longer. Keep reminding yourself of why you decided to go natural in the first place. I personally do not think everyone's hair is meant for a long transition. I bc'd almost 5 months ago (my last relaxer was more than 6 months ago) and when I look at my hair I cannot even imagine how I could have transitioned that long--I really believe I would have damaged my natural hair quite a bit. So try to be patient, be creative, stay focused and listen to your hair--in the end, it will tell you when it's time to bc. Good luck.
 
hopeful said:
The one thing for sure that transitioning and being natural teaches you is patience. It can be a tough lesson to learn though! MsCounselor, hang in there you can stick it out a little longer. Keep reminding yourself of why you decided to go natural in the first place. I personally do not think everyone's hair is meant for a long transition. I bc'd almost 5 months ago (my last relaxer was more than 6 months ago) and when I look at my hair I cannot even imagine how I could have transitioned that long--I really believe I would have damaged my natural hair quite a bit. So try to be patient, be creative, stay focused and listen to your hair--in the end, it will tell you when it's time to bc. Good luck.
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Don't mean to hijack but Hopeful you always well thought, positive feedback/advice, especially for the transitioners. Thanks so much :kiss: .

@MsCounselor-I just wanted to cosign with everyone else on the encouragement, you can do this. I agree with Hopeful on being patient and creative. I just recently took off a few inches and when I washed my hair the first time I almost freaked out. I didn't know my hair would be as short as it looked when wet and I didn't think any style would look good. But I took a couple deep breaths, got some products out and twisted my hair in two strand twists and rolled the ends with curlers. I untwisted them in the morning and I loved the results and the best thing I got complimets on it too. If I hadn't calmed down I would have started doubting myself and lost my focus. Definetly browse other people's albums. Bublin, Hairlove, Mkstar826, lsubabydee, naturallybeautiful (not a member here but she transitioned for 11 months and her hair is absolutly beautiful. naturallybeautiful is the name you use to search in fotki). Go through members albums that are transitioning right now or maybe just ended there transition to see how they are styling/styled their hair. I'm a long transitioner as well feel free to PM me. Stay encouraged.
 
chocolate01 said:
Don't mean to hijack but Hopeful you always well thought, positive feedback/advice, especially for the transitioners. Thanks so much :kiss: .

@MsCounselor-I just wanted to cosign with everyone else on the encouragement, you can do this. I agree with Hopeful on being patient and creative. I just recently took off a few inches and when I washed my hair the first time I almost freaked out. I didn't know my hair would be as short as it looked when wet and I didn't think any style would look good. But I took a couple deep breaths, got some products out and twisted my hair in two strand twists and rolled the ends with curlers. I untwisted them in the morning and I loved the results and the best thing I got complimets on it too. If I hadn't calmed down I would have started doubting myself and lost my focus. Definetly browse other people's albums. Bublin, Hairlove, Mkstar826, lsubabydee, naturallybeautiful (not a member here but she transitioned for 11 months and her hair is absolutly beautiful. naturallybeautiful is the name you use to search in fotki). Go through members albums that are transitioning right now or maybe just ended there transition to see how they are styling/styled their hair. I'm a long transitioner as well feel free to PM me. Stay encouraged.
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Thanks...I appreciate having all the support. And yes my hair is starting to look shorter and shorter...its just the new growth doing its thing.... :grin:
 
DSylla said:
I'm having a hard time now as well.

Hang in there! You have alot of support :)

dscn0538-vi.jpg
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I'm encouraged by your progress and I wish you well on your transition and new job :grin:
 
hopeful said:
The one thing for sure that transitioning and being natural teaches you is patience. It can be a tough lesson to learn though! MsCounselor, hang in there you can stick it out a little longer. Keep reminding yourself of why you decided to go natural in the first place. I personally do not think everyone's hair is meant for a long transition. I bc'd almost 5 months ago (my last relaxer was more than 6 months ago) and when I look at my hair I cannot even imagine how I could have transitioned that long--I really believe I would have damaged my natural hair quite a bit. So try to be patient, be creative, stay focused and listen to your hair--in the end, it will tell you when it's time to bc. Good luck.
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Funny is I am very patient in almost all areas of life....it just didn't seem to transcend into the hair arena.
Thanks hopeful...you always seem to instill hope in others <----no pun intended.
 
chocolate01 said:
Don't mean to hijack but Hopeful you always well thought, positive feedback/advice, especially for the transitioners. Thanks so much :kiss: .

@MsCounselor-I just wanted to cosign with everyone else on the encouragement, you can do this. I agree with Hopeful on being patient and creative. I just recently took off a few inches and when I washed my hair the first time I almost freaked out. I didn't know my hair would be as short as it looked when wet and I didn't think any style would look good. But I took a couple deep breaths, got some products out and twisted my hair in two strand twists and rolled the ends with curlers. I untwisted them in the morning and I loved the results and the best thing I got complimets on it too. If I hadn't calmed down I would have started doubting myself and lost my focus. Definetly browse other people's albums. Bublin, Hairlove, Mkstar826, lsubabydee, naturallybeautiful (not a member here but she transitioned for 11 months and her hair is absolutly beautiful. naturallybeautiful is the name you use to search in fotki). Go through members albums that are transitioning right now or maybe just ended there transition to see how they are styling/styled their hair. I'm a long transitioner as well feel free to PM me. Stay encouraged.
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You're welcome chocolate01, that's so sweet of you to say. I really appreciate your kind words.:kiss: :Rose:
 
mscounselor said:
Funny is I am very patient in almost all areas of life....it just didn't seem to transcend into the hair arena.
Thanks hopeful...you always seem to instill hope in others <----no pun intended.
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You're welcome mscounselor. I know what you mean. We all have our areas that test us. I've always thought I was pretty patient but sometimes I am shocked at how frustrated I get with my hair. Sometimes I feel like such a baby because going natural sometimes feels like starting at ground zero. Before this I had never dealt with my natural hair for any length of time. Whenever I was natural I always got it pressed, wearing natural hair out never seemed like an option before. Anyway, I guess we're all just learning. Thank goodness we have each other for encouragement.
 
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Tonya said:
WEAVE IT UP!!!! Girl I feel you. Not too long ago I was there to. The thing that helps me is putting my hair way so I can't see it. Sew in weaves and braids a re transitioners friend. My hairhas been weaved for almost three weeks and I am getting individual braids nxt week. The key to successful transitioing is dealing with your hair as little as possible. Do not attempt to wear straight styles in summer...especially if you live somewhere that is humid liek it is here...your hair will jsut puffy up and the two textures will frustrate you to no end. One of my many transiton buddies, TAI, told me this same information and I have been AOK everysince. PM me anytime for a shoulder missy
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ITA, this could be the best thing so you don't have to deal with the daily styling of textures. But you must moisterize, moisterize, MOISTERIZE, and trimm when you take the braids/weave down, and always deep cond in between braiding or you'll lose all your progress.
 
MsCounselor,

The following pic is what I called "two-strand twists" but I think Braids By Breslin calls them "Kinky twists". The Braids by Breslin site has step-by-step instructions and I believe you add hair to achieve the look. I think these are gorgeous.

l_Kinky-Twist.jpg


HTH! cupcake
 
MeccaMedinah said:
Echoing have you tried braidouts &twistouts? Also, if you are trying to transition you have to stop expecting your hair to behave as if it were relaxed. IMHO
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yup, ITA! b/c you will be really upset when it doesn't "behave" like how you are used to it doing. Try the twistout or briadout. They always look good!
 
MsCounselor, I really don't have much to add to what all the wonderful ladies here have already said. (I can only co-sign on the moisturize, moisturize moisturize!) I just want to send a hug and say that I understand how frustrating it can be sometimes! But I know you can do it! Please feel free to send me a pm if you ever need a fellow transitioner's shoulder to cry on...
 
cupcake said:
MsCounselor,

The following pic is what I called "two-strand twists" but I think Braids By Breslin calls them "Kinky twists". The Braids by Breslin site has step-by-step instructions and I believe you add hair to achieve the look. I think these are gorgeous.

l_Kinky-Twist.jpg


HTH! cupcake
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Thanks...my natural friend has them now with auburn hair added. I'll have to see if they can do it with my hair w/o extension...Or maybe she and I can just try it on my own hair.
Thanks again for the tip.

P.S. I'll post her picture later...her hair is an inspiration!!
 
Lucia- Thanks for the suggestion, but mixing my hair with any other kind didn't mix well...even with continuous moisture.
Ajargon- I'm slowly getting there with the mindset. The braidout and twistout pictures are soon to come.
Cichelle- Your words of encouragement are enough. Thanks!
 
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