Can we discuss why so many high profile Christian marriages are under fire?

[shinyblackhair]

I was shocked and saddened to find out the Dr. Charles Stanely is divorced as well (back in 2000). He's one of my favorites. It really depresses me that such a godly man was victim of divorce. No one is immume.

 

[CoilyFields]

I think that, for us catholics, depending upon the actual pre-marital issues and that all forms of validity are met, a marriage receives the sacramental blessing. The problem is in the individuals who cannot be forced to do what the other partner desires and/or needs. You could absolutely marry the "wrong" person for yourself but have it blessed.

I agree. (Not Catholic ). I do believe that you can make a hasty or wrong choice about who to marry but I don't think that's a reason to divorce or that God won't bless you. We all make mistakes some are worse than others. But we can't fix a sin by sinning. The Bible gives specific reasons that that would allow divorce. Heck! It says not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers but then it goes on to say later that we should stay being married to that unbeliever unless they choose to leave.
But I do agree that marriage is under attack and I do think the attack is 2 prong, it's coming from the enemy but it's also coming from within. We have no staying power, we want easy results and we let the world influence our relationships rather than the word. And everyone especially people in the spotlight have to remember that family is the first ministry. Everything else comes second.

 

[ktykaty]

I agree that marriage and family are under attack right now.
But one of the problem that's causing the high divorce rate among christians is people refuse to grow up. Some of us want to stay baby christians forever and refuse to grow up. in other words, we accept God's saving grace and refuse his sanctifying grace. We nitpick and argue with God that we can be/stay saved without being sanctified.

Some christians don't/refuse to see that God is using their spouse for their sanctification. A spouse is like a mirror. In marriage one cannot hide their sins or their shortcomings. If one refuse to change and to become who God wants them to be, they are going to have a hard time having a successful godly marriage.

 

[MrsHaseeb]

I agree that marriage and family are under attack right now.
But one of the problem that's causing the high divorce rate among christians is people refuse to grow up. Some of us want to stay baby christians forever and refuse to grow up. in other words, we accept God's saving grace and refuse his sanctifying grace. We nitpick and argue with God that we can be/stay saved without being sanctified.

Some christians don't/refuse to see that God is using their spouse for their sanctification. A spouse is like a mirror. In marriage one cannot hide their sins or their shortcomings. If one refuse to change and to become who God wants them to be, they are going to have a hard time having a successful godly marriage.

Thanks was not enough. So much truth.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF

 

[ktykaty]

Thanks was not enough. So much truth.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF

Also there's a lot a false teaching and false doctrine out there that people are confused about marriage. And I'm not even talking about the world definition of marriage.

For intense, let's take a look at Proverb 31.
The feminist are using it to prove that the bible aka God is misogynistic. For them proverb 31 is too high a goal and woman shouldn't try to follow that example.
The misogynist use the same scriptures to belittle woman and transform their relationship with their husband into a father-daughter like relationship. They can also use proverb 31 to undermine the role of the husband as head of the family.


Confusion about what God's Word says about marriage leads to confusion about what marriage is, leads to too many divorce. In fact, some of us don't know anymore what a godly marriage looks like.

 

[Successfulmiss]

ktykaty

Your awesome! Wow, some serious revelations in your posts. Thank you so much

 

[auparavant]

I agree. (Not Catholic ). I do believe that you can make a hasty or wrong choice about who to marry but I don't think that's a reason to divorce or that God won't bless you. We all make mistakes some are worse than others. But we can't fix a sin by sinning. The Bible gives specific reasons that that would allow divorce. Heck! It says not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers but then it goes on to say later that we should stay being married to that unbeliever unless they choose to leave.
But I do agree that marriage is under attack and I do think the attack is 2 prong, it's coming from the enemy but it's also coming from within. We have no staying power, we want easy results and we let the world influence our relationships rather than the word. And everyone especially people in the spotlight have to remember that family is the first ministry. Everything else comes second.

If I didn't specify, I was speaking on believers, not those unequally yoked, to be clearer. I apologize for the confusion.


--------------------------------------

To the general discussion:


G-d might hate divorce, but the sin is in committing adultery by marrying another, not inherently in the divorce itself. So, how do people look at those who are divorced...that they've sinned by the divorce itself? I'm not talking about discord, anger, violence, infidelity...just the divorce itself. Do you think that people who have divorced (not remarried, no annulment and remarriage, no current immorality) are sinners sheerly by having the paper/dissolved marriage? How do you feel about those who are separated from their spouses longterm, living separate lives?

 

[auparavant]

Separate post:


Looking at a g-dly marriage....it's not the perfect peace, it's the ability for forgiveness. Peace 100% would be an angelic home and the goal of all...but what do you "think" is a g-dly marriage? Have you ever viewed one? Raised under one? What are your thoughts on what it looks like?

 

[Shimmie]

Under fire or are dissolving? They are dissolving for the same reasons that low-profile marriages in the christian community and secular world are failing. I think that people like to use the famous as examples and inspiration but the fact is, they are suffering just like anybody else. People make bad choices, think wrongly/worldly about their spouses, practice the "Greco-Roman-Cupid" ideal of love (Pastor Baucham lol) that is not committal nor transferable to every situation and addition to the family etc.;

and in addition to all the general problems people have across the board, high-profile folks have the added pressure of trying to save face in the public eye. They are busy helping others and probably rarely take time to help themselves.

People can pray for change and protection but their actions must reflect positive change and maintenance of marriage....growth. You can't pray away a bad marriage, you have to act upon it to improve it. Maybe ministers are living a lie.

The 'bolded' is such a good point.

It reminds me of the story about the shoe cobbler who spends so much time fixing the shoes of others that he has no time or energy to fix the shoes for his own family. While he has enabled others to walk on fine leather, his family suffers the lack thereof.

Just for the safe of familiarity, the Christmas movie "The Preacher's Wife" with Whitney Houston. Her husband 'Henry' was so busy with the needs of the Church that his home and wife were being neglected This left the 'wife' open to vunerability where she was 'charmed' by the character not her husband. Of course the movie ends with things being set 'right'. However, it makes such a strong point that there has to be a balance with home and business. Marriages must be nurtured and careful attention must be rendered in order to protect and save one's marriage.

Many people in the Church become so caught up in 'Church' activities that they fail to know each other in their marriages, which in turn pulls them apart from one another. Many Church members do the same; spend their lives serving the Church and not their husbands or wives...hence the wedges between them develop; they no longer 'know' each other, they're leading separate lives, no longer as 'One'.

I have seen this happen in several marriages ...

 

[bklynbornNbred]

Successfulmiss Each month on the first sunday my church asks those that are celebrating a birthday to stand (we sing Happy Birthday) then all that are celebrating wedding anniversaries are asked to stand (we sing Happy Anniversary) and then each couple is asked to share how many years. This month the oldest couple has been married 67 years! The groom doesn't even look 67 and his bride had to be bethrothed at birth. Young couples get claps older couples (especially that long) get standing ovations. There's a LOT of wisdom with the older couples at my church. As another mentioned its easy to look at all the failed marriages out here (whether in entertainment or even one's own family) but in times of doubt its better to look at the positive "real people" examples that you may be overlooking right in your own church home.

 

[Successfulmiss]

bklynbornNbred

Wow, that means so much to me. I'm encouraged even more

 

[Laela]

bklynbornNbred...that is amazing what goes on at your church...very encouraging. And I will agree to the point that we tend to overlook or even take for granted real examples. Amein to that..

 

[Laela]

Yes, Shimmie...reminds me of that question.."who edits the editor?"..this scenario...who ministers to the ministers. This really goes hand in hand with humility; doesn'ts mean they aren't Christians, as there could simple be an IMBALANCE in their lives and for them to see that. I believe God can fix anything that's broken...

Many people in the Church become so caught up in 'Church' activities that they fail to know each other in their marriages, which in turn pulls them apart from one another. Many Church members do the same; spend their lives serving the Church and not their husbands or wives...hence the wedges between them develop; they no longer 'know' each other, they're leading separate lives, no longer as 'One'.

I have seen this happen in several marriages ...

 

[LucieLoo12]

I think what else can mean alot is what is really considered a successful marriage?

Successful marriage does not mean they didn't have any arguments or disagreements or did they did not have times where they may have even doubted their love, but to me success is when they were able to endure ALL of that and still made God the head of it. The couple was able to become one in the spirit

 

[SummerSolstice]

i like this thread.

 

[Shimmie]

Yes, Shimmie...reminds me of that question.."who edits the editor?"..this scenario...who ministers to the ministers. This really goes hand in hand with humility; doesn'ts mean they aren't Christians, as there could simple be an IMBALANCE in their lives and for them to see that. I believe God can fix anything that's broken...

Laela... you are so right. God can truly fix anything that's broken, He makes all things new...