At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved?

LoveisYou · #1 02-17-2011, 10:25 AM

why or why not? I had this discussion with my sister and her fiance who are both saved. We were talking about the verse about being unequally yoked, both of them said they preferred and wanted to marry someone who was saved. What is your take on this?

PinkPebbles · #2 02-17-2011, 11:23 AM

Good question

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8)

Being unequally yoked with someone will have you compromise your standards and beliefs; and most likely go down the wrong path.

Are you willing to risk spiritual warfare or perhaps bondage for the sake of being with someone that is not a match!?!

tyrablu · #3 02-17-2011, 11:28 AM

If I was asked this question last year around this time I would have responded with it doesn't really matter. However, at this point of my life I can see the importance of following God's word, so my answer has changed. I need for my future husband to be of equally yoke, it is important that we are on the same page when it comes to God. He should be able to uplift me, and I should be able to uplift him.

Prudent1 · #4 02-17-2011, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveisYou

why or why not? I had this discussion with my sister and her fiance who are both saved. We were talking about the verse about being unequally yoked, both of them said they preferred and wanted to marry someone who was saved. What is your take on this?

No, absolutely positivley not. I have seen and personally know of too many couples who did this. I'm not even talking about different religious affiliations either. I'm talking baby Christian who just received salvation last week and seasoned Christian who has been walking with the Lord for 25 years

. Nuh uhh, I'll pass on that heartache and drama. Marriage in and of itself brings challenges. With God they can be won

but, even then you will work your tail off and will have some bumpy emotional memories in the process. To further complicate things by being unequally yoked- NOPE! Everything you do will seem foolish and strange

to your SO. They will not be able to understand where you are coming from. It's just too much to know that you may spend years of blood, sweat, and tears, where both of you may never be on the same page. Then for us as women to not have the proper covering from our men

. It is so much nicer when we can be on one accord. Then when the kids come and see your opinion being belittled. Nope, double nope JMHO.

Laela · #5 02-17-2011, 12:14 PM

Never settle for less than God's best for you... Jeremiah 29:11... that means, the best of the best. Not the cream of the crap... (sorry I'm Caribbean...)

That means, being unequally yolked by accepting less than God's best (settling, compromising) -- when He has something better already promised to you.

[disclaimer: this is generally speaking, when I say "you".. .not directed at you per say, OP ]

LoveisYou · #6 02-17-2011, 12:40 PM

Thanks for your responses ladies, keep them coming

OrganizedConfusion · #7 02-17-2011, 12:43 PM

No way...especially if he's not even trying to talk that walk eventually (sooner than later). I never tempt the enemy...any crack in the door that we give the enemy he will try and take.

Jynlnd13 · #8 02-18-2011, 12:07 AM

No........I just don't believe I could.

makeupgirl · #9 02-18-2011, 09:12 AM

I've seen my mom's marriage to my stepdad as an example of not to marry a non-believer if you're a believer. My mom is saved but my stepdad wasn't (my sister said that she thinks he is now) I witness my mom stopped going to church by the wishes of her husband, I witness fights (some drunken), I've witnessed my mom's drinking to ease the pain, I've seen her unhappy and unsettled in her spirit. I've seen and felt Satan at work in the household. Even when I was living with them along with my sister, it was uncomfortable to say the least. This account is from both mine eyes and from my sister's POV.

Anyhoo, they are now separated with him traveling back and forth to Roanoke and my mom living with me and my sister to make ends meet. But, the damage is done because of my mom's desire to marry this man that she knew wasn't a believer.

Prudent1 · #10 02-18-2011, 11:52 AM

^^^ That's what I'm talking about. No children should witness things like that. No one should be asked to do things that go against God's instruction to preserve the relationship. He may be saved now (and I hope he is) but mom has already had a lifetime of hurts in her heart from things that happened between the two of them that we may never know

. For you and your family

.

phynestone · #11 02-18-2011, 01:25 PM

No, but I have in the past. Totally regret it. I don't date just to date, I date with a purpose. I have no intention on spending any time with a man that I don't see as marriage material. Who cares what society thinks?

nicolesanjuan · #12 02-18-2011, 01:37 PM

(Scuse me) but, hecks no!!! It's hard enough when two people are saved because the devil, believe it or not, is definitely against marriage, period..... However, I will say that when we read this scripture we focus on just being saved, but you can be "unequally" yoked in alot of other ways as well. For example, likes/dislikes, ministry/non-ministry... I believe that even if two people are saved that's not enough, but you not only have to be led by God...but be compatible, as well.....

Just a quick reply....

makeupgirl · #13 02-18-2011, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prudent1

^^^ That's what I'm talking about. No children should witness things like that. No one should be asked to do things that go against God's instruction to preserve the relationship. He may be saved now (and I hope he is) but mom has already had a lifetime of hurts in her heart from things that happened between the two of them that we may never know

. For you and your family

.

Thanks

...I was 23 when they got married and I actually said I wasn't going to get married until My pastor told me not to disbelieve in marriage because of what's happening in my mom's. Even though I witnessed this as an adult, that's my mom that I saw him verbally and emotionally abused everyday I was there and probably wasn't there and according to my sister it did get physical one time with my mom fighting back.

I boldly told my mom last year, "Mom you knew he wasn't saved why did you marry him" and she said that she loved him and doesn't want to move out of the situation until God says so. She left one time after a year of their marriage and then she went back and it got worse.

If he is saved, then I pray he's a better man this time around. I forgive him but it's hard to stay in the Lord's will when he's around because the flesh goes off the chain.

makeupgirl · #14 02-18-2011, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phynestone

No, but I have in the past. Totally regret it. I don't date just to date, I date with a purpose. I have no intention on spending any time with a man that I don't see as marriage material. Who cares what society thinks?

Amen sister. I'm doing the same thing, especially after the last one I had last year.

Shimmie · #15 02-18-2011, 03:34 PM

Lord no.... I barely get along with me.

EbonyHairedPrincess · #16 02-18-2011, 09:42 PM

Okay if we doing real talk, I wouldn't be married at all knowing what I know now. Let's not even think about binding my life, children, future & spirit to a heathen

. I LUUUUUV my boo but .......

StarScream35 · #17 06-29-2011, 08:36 AM

I have been on the walk a long time and I must say at this point I don't think it matters if he is unsaved or not. There are just so few men in the church that I felt the need to open up my options. I know its not a good thing but I run into so few saved men and when I do, they are either married or in a relationship. The last guy I dated was Buddhist and I tried to put all the religious stuff aside. Had it not been for the baby mama drama, I think the relationship would have worked out just fine.

nadaa16 · #18 06-29-2011, 08:54 AM

Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.

21 months natural and loving it!

humility1990 · #19 06-29-2011, 09:43 AM

No, because the people who are closest to you influence you. As iron sharpens iron so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. A mate is a friend and so much more so we need to be of an accord. Our children need to see mommy and daddy setting biblical standards in their life, consistency is important. Also I truly believe our lives are a test and though I could be wrong I genuinely think most of the world is going to hell. Now the thought of being in hell causes me so much anguish its unbelievable, that in itself is dreadful, but being separated from a benevolent God for all of eternity is beyond the pale. Though we are all sinners and make mistakes, I would not want to make such a major decision that would cause me to sin even more.

Shimmie · #20 06-29-2011, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nadaa16

Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.

True... very true.

However...........

Don't allow the 'sinner' to pull the saint back into his/her 'past' which God has shed His Blood so freely and to the very death, to deliver them from.

Why crawl into the muddy waters when Jesus has given so freely unto us, His living waters.

Here's a clue:

When a woman compromises to get a man, she will compromise even further to 'keep' the man she has compromised to be with. If she compromised her faith to be with him, she'll compromise all the more to 'please' him.

Don't even think that the devil will not 'trouble' the waters of the relationship and almost ALWAYS, the woman surrenders to the will of her husband...therefore it's better if he's one with Jesus, least she ends up in the quicksand struggling to keep her head and hair above the mud's surface, for fear of losing him.

It is written... 'Your desire shall be to your husband.'

I can write an entire volume of books on this... volumes.

Marry a man of God; marriage is one of satan's biggest targets. satan is out to defile that which God has ordained between a man and a woman

A woman needs a man whose heart is turned towards God and no other. Even if it means marrying outside of one's race, as long as he knows Jesus, a woman is doing what's right for herself, her husband and with God.

To God be the Glory...

You will reap if you faint.... not.