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  #1  
Old 08-19-2009, 05:19 AM
Freespirit02 Freespirit02 is offline
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Default why do men love long hair??

I don't know why men love long hair..but it's becoming really annoying. My boyfriend and I really got into it today because of it. The convo went something like this.

Boyfriend: Please don't cut your hair again..let it grow
Me: What the f**k for..(sorry..i have an anger problem)
Boyfriend: Because I like it..and I think you will look nice with it
Me: Why should I? If you want me to have long hair..go to the store and buy me some.
Boyfriend:
Me:..ask me one more time to grow my hair..and i'm cutting all this (PROFANITY)..off!
Boyfriend:

I was really mad..i mean extremely mad. Main reason..it would take me forever to grow my hair. Secondly..i get frustrated and I just cut it off! Thirdly..i don't like people telling me what to do.

Okay..back to my question..what is up with this whole long hair thing??
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  #2  
Old 08-19-2009, 05:28 AM
Neith Neith is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

The same reason that women love long hair.

I feel that it enhances a woman's beauty It's pretty and feminine!

(Not saying that you have to have long hair to be pretty and feminine, of course )


But daaaaang.... why do you jump down his throat like that? Is this an ongoing thing between you two?

I wouldn't be mad. He is just saying that he likes long hair. MOST people period like long hair. Nothing is wrong with that.

I mean... you are here posting on a LONG HAIR care forum. *blinks* People are gonna like long hair especially here. lol

I'm just saying... it's a little funny to me.
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  #3  
Old 08-19-2009, 05:33 AM
Freespirit02 Freespirit02 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

It's not really an ongoing thing with us. He has mentioned that he likes long hair before, but this is the first time he requested me to grow long hair. He said it like it was easy..for me it isn't. I was a little annoyed and I felt he requested something almost impossible. I was ready to cut all my hair off..just to piss him off! I don't think he understands how hard it is to grow long hair..
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  #4  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:02 AM
robot. robot. is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

From the sounds of it, you're making growing hair harder than it has to be.

Give us some background. Relaxed, natural? Fine/thick strands? Do you know your hair type? Why did/do you want to cut it? What's your regimen like?

If you're having trouble, you're at the right place to get answers.
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  #5  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:05 AM
Neith Neith is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Quote:
Originally Posted by loveurself84 View Post
It's not really an ongoing thing with us. He has mentioned that he likes long hair before, but this is the first time he requested me to grow long hair. He said it like it was easy..for me it isn't. I was a little annoyed and I felt he requested something almost impossible. I was ready to cut all my hair off..just to piss him off! I don't think he understands how hard it is to grow long hair..
Maybe just explain that it's not that easy for you to grow long hair and it's something that will take time. You probably have to experiment, research, etc... it's a whole process

He's already with you and you don't have long hair... so I don't think that he's some hair fetish type guy... hopefully he'd understand!

but even you yourself probably like long hair... nothing to get mad at. Don't let your frustration get you down
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  #6  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:29 AM
Freespirit02 Freespirit02 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Quote:
Originally Posted by ROBOTxcore View Post
From the sounds of it, you're making growing hair harder than it has to be.

Give us some background. Relaxed, natural? Fine/thick strands? Do you know your hair type? Why did/do you want to cut it? What's your regimen like?

If you're having trouble, you're at the right place to get answers.
my hair is now relaxed. My hair is fine stranded. I don't know my hair type. I want to cut it because i get really frustrated..or sometimes bored. My regimen is all over the place..trying to find out what works for me
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  #7  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:31 AM
Freespirit02 Freespirit02 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Neith View Post
Maybe just explain that it's not that easy for you to grow long hair and it's something that will take time. You probably have to experiment, research, etc... it's a whole process

He's already with you and you don't have long hair... so I don't think that he's some hair fetish type guy... hopefully he'd understand!

but even you yourself probably like long hair... nothing to get mad at. Don't let your frustration get you down
I don't think he will understand..he made it sound so simple. I feel kind of bad going off on him lol. I guess i just feel a little down on myself..because i've never had long hair..and my mom and sisters don't have long hair..so i figure it's just genetics. He made me cry....wasn't a good look at all.
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  #8  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:38 AM
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Jazzmommy Jazzmommy is online now
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Quote:
Originally Posted by loveurself84 View Post
I don't think he will understand..he made it sound so simple. I feel kind of bad going off on him lol. I guess i just feel a little down on myself..because i've never had long hair..and my mom and sisters don't have long hair..so i figure it's just genetics. He made me cry....wasn't a good look at all.
I hear your frustration... but, as other posters have said -- you have come to the right place.
My DH also loves long hair... so does my father. DH bugs me occassionally about when am I going to "press my hair." So, when I wear it down to check my length he's all over me. Uh, so I don't why they do... but, then again I love my hair long as well.
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  #9  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:42 AM
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FlowerHair FlowerHair is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

I don't know why girl, but they do

When I wear my hair down I notice a drastic change in the amount of men and even teenage boys staring at my hair.

It must be deeply ingrained in their psyches...
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  #10  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:44 AM
vainღ♥♡jane vainღ♥♡jane is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

i guess the same reason we do; its so pretty and girly and feminine. and its different from them. a lot of men where their hair shaved, besides men with locs or white boys with that shaggy thing goin on these days, so maybe they want a woman with hair that doesnt come close to theirs? i dunno. its too early for this lol.
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  #11  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:50 AM
buddhas_mom buddhas_mom is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

From what Ive been told guys think long hair is sexy and beautiful. And they like to have something to grab on during sex. My ex boyfriend told me this. Kind of funny. Guys love long hair just like all of us love long hair.

But it is possible for you to grow long hair. It's not as hard as it seems just takes patience and a good regimen. A lot of women on this forum believed they could never grow hair past SL and now they have hair halfway to their butts.
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  #12  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:53 AM
Tamrin Tamrin is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Because they do. My SO loved natural long hair. He is begging me to transition cause he thinks I will look amazing as a natural and my hair will be longer. So I gave him texlaxed for now.

OT: Be nicer to him, don't use language like that with someone you love. In the long run it will become the norm and that is not healthy in a loving relationship. He sounds like he loves you and a sweet guy. Respect is a two way street. No matter how angry or annoyed, find other ways to express your annoyance ok. Just some sisterly advice.
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  #13  
Old 08-19-2009, 06:58 AM
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Co-signing with everything the other posters said.

But number one, be happy that he told you what he prefers. It's up to you to tell him what's involved with growing long hair and how long it will take. They think it's simple, like if you just don't cut it that it will grow long. We all know it doesn't work that way.

In the meantime, get you a cheap long wig to wear in the bedroom until it grows out. Believe me, he'll love it. Most men really do enjoy seeing long hair during the act so if you want to see him go crazy then try it.

In the meantime, try to relax and not cause yourself anymore stress. We all go through our moods, especially after they're so unaware of what we go through as women.

HTH
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  #14  
Old 08-19-2009, 07:20 AM
SweetSpirit86 SweetSpirit86 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

I actually turned to my SO and asked him just now, lol. He said it depends, as he's seen some long hair on girls before that was straight busted...Not sexy.He also said that for black men, it's more because he sees so many chicks who wear nothing but weave, or never wear their real hair out. A lot of the time he sees black women with those chewed up ends, breakage, damage...just everywhere. To see a woman with long, healthy hair (this doesn't translate "straight" btw) is very appealing to him.
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  #15  
Old 08-19-2009, 07:45 AM
Freespirit02 Freespirit02 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

I guess it wouldn't bother me if I had long hair..it just makes me feel insecure.
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Old 08-19-2009, 08:27 AM
unalteredone unalteredone is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

I have to be honest, my first thought after reading your first post was "why are you here if you aren't trying to grow long(er) hair?"

But i think i can understand why you reacted the way you did, because that reminds me of a similar reaction that i used to have before joining LHCF. I went to a predominantly white college, and a lot of my friends were white, or just not black. We would get into conversations about hair every once in a while and I always hated it. I remember one of my then boyfriend's roomates asking me 2+ years ago if i ever wore my hair long because he'd only seen me with short hair (NL-SL). He assumed that it was my choice to have short hair. I told him that i used to have long hair as a kid but that i had damaged it and so it grows but it breaks so it just ends up staying the same length. I was about to cry honestly just saying that., but i was eating in the dining hall so i pulled myself together And then we would get into other hair conversations about relaxers or something and i would realize that it was upsetting me and I'd angrily end the conversation like "I don't want to talk about this anymore!!!" They didnt understand why it made me so mad.

So all of this is to say that I can understand you're having such a strong reaction to that conversation. To you, it might be somewhat like a man asking a girl who has struggled with weight issues why doesn't she just lose a little weight. If it's something you want too, but feel like you will fail at doing it, you don't want someone there reminding you of those feelings of possible failure. We all know that you can grow your hair long, and it doesn't have to be hard. You just have to be patient while giving your hair the best environment to grow in that you possibly can.
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Old 08-19-2009, 08:49 AM
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vkb247 vkb247 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

I think that long hair is one of nature's ways of indicating good health, strong genes, etc. so it is naturally attractive just like women are generally attracted to healthy looking men with bright eyes and strong bodies. On a conscious level we are saying yum yum but our lizard brains see these traits and believe people with these traits are good for breeding another healthy generation. Survival of the fittest and all that jazz.

ETA: If what your sweetie said made you feel insecure than you need to let him know that and talk about it. Men aren't mind readers and when you just react strongly you leave him to decide why which could eventually frustrate him. If you talk to him about how you are feeling than you have created an opportunity to get to know each other better and make your relationship stronger instead of creating negative energy.
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Last edited by vkb247; 08-19-2009 at 08:53 AM.
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:49 AM
harrison harrison is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

Quote:
Originally Posted by buddhas_mom View Post
From what Ive been told guys think long hair is sexy and beautiful. And they like to have something to grab on during sex. My ex boyfriend told me this. Kind of funny. Guys love long hair just like all of us love long hair.

But it is possible for you to grow long hair. It's not as hard as it seems just takes patience and a good regimen. A lot of women on this forum believed they could never grow hair past SL and now they have hair halfway to their butts.
Not grabbing the hair... OH MY... I mean... any other alternatives...
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Old 08-19-2009, 10:26 AM
MonPetite MonPetite is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

I think, more accurately, men like SIGNIFICANT hair.

Even more accurate: "ABUNDANT" HAIR.

It's a biological marker that a woman is in good health.

Straight, blonde, red, etc. are CULTURALLY DRIVEN preferences.

ABUNDANT HAIR either Afro and HUGE or long and straight is a biological marker that signals she is healthy and can bear children.

The problem, is when society says that only ONE TYPE OF "SIGNIFICANT/ABUNDANT HAIR" is acceptable.

Which forces people (men, for the most part in that society) to ignore what their BIOLOGY tells them is acceptable -IE, massive Afros.

DNA says: A lot of thick, healthy hair irregardless of the texture, whether it grows out or down or color equals sexy. ABUNDANT HAIR EQUALS SEXY.

Sexy, in the most basic sense = can bear children successfully.

Our society says: ONLY BLONDE, THICK, STRAIGHT HAIR IS SEXY!

You see the same thing with breasts in our society:

Biology's take:
Large breasts (out of proportion to her body, I'm not talking about naturally well-endowed ladies, who have a body that matches their proportions "up top") usually signal a female is NURSING and will have no want "to mate". A handful of well-shaped "bosom", signals a woman has a healthy amount of fat...but is not pregnant or nursing. This means she may be receptive to "mating".

Society's take:
The media trains men to think "sexy" (massive, pointy breasts) is something that biologically is NOT. Large breasts on a disturbingly skinny woman should signal she MUST be nursing (when they are out of proportion to her body. Again, I'm not talking about women who are naturally well endowed, my dears).

This can be seen in the body type preferred by high fashion:
Particularly in models who are abnormally thin, EVEN FOR A NATURALLY TALL WOMAN (I'm not speaking of women who are naturally petite, which I am -I'm average height however, or naturally tall and slim women).

The fashion world is attaching the adjectives "beautiful", "sexy", "feminine" to a body type that our DNA says:

DON'T MATE WITH THAT! She couldn't bring a child to term if she tried!

While many a super model has had very healthy, lovely children, biologically, men are hard wired prefer a bit of "meat".

To put it bluntly:
There's a reason ultra-skinny porn-stars are in short supply.


I think the "Men and Long Hair" issue is a case of nature vs. nurture.

Nature says: Abundant, significant hair (NO MATTER WHAT THE TEXTURE OR COLOR) = health. Health = sexy.

Nurture/society says: Long, straight, blonde, thick hair = sexy. Everything else = Not Sexy. Health? Who cares! This is about appealing to the dominant culture. Health is what we say it is!!
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Old 08-19-2009, 10:36 AM
dragongirlmk09 dragongirlmk09 is offline
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Default Re: why do men love long hair??

well let me tell you what happen when i let my hair down at work one guy was stareing at me i asked what was his problem he said your hair look different i asked him what do you mean he said it looks like you did something different with you hair so i gucess he had never seen my hair down before and saw that it was that long. so yes i think when guys see a women hair that is long they are like wow i have never seen a black women hair without weave or hair that is long.
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