PinkPebbles
Well-Known Member
I came across this article and felt led to start a thread and post over the next few days. May it be a blessing!
The Need For Love
Robert Tucker
Sometimes people are ashamed to admit a “love need”, but it is as natural and God-given of a need as the air you breathe. Don’t be ashamed of it. Embrace it as a part of your make-up as a human being. However, understand that many times we ask another person to fill the needs only God can fill. While people are intended to provide love, they are not intended to re­place God by any means. God is the SOURCE for love.
The type and amount of love we received as children will deeply impact our ability to give and receive love in adult relationships. If we were not loved properly and did not have a personal relationship with Jesus, we will go through life with a love need, or an empty void. If we don’t have love in us, we don’t have the ability to give it out. You could think of codependency in terms of a “love cup”. If you were raised without much love, your “love cup” is probably empty. If your love cup is empty, you will spend most of your life trying to ask other people to fill it. This type of “love need” will manifest into addictive, compulsive behaviors, similar to a sub­stance addiction. If you do not have your own love need met, you will not be able to offer it to others UNTIL you learn to ask God to fill your cup first.
What is True Love Anyway?
With such a skewed understanding and representation of genuine love in our lives, it is important that we establish some principles and truths regarding God's love. REMEMBER, TRUE LOVE MUST OPERATE BY TRUTH. Oftentimes, we are clinging to lies about love, causing us unnec­essary pain and suffering. Below you will find the type of love with which God loves us and de­sires us to have in our family relationships. We will also point out the "counterfeit" that creeps up into our relationships and tries to substitute for the "real" thing. The contrast is quite dramatic!
Day 1
Attribute:
True Love is Sacrificial and Giving
God’s Way: The perfect example of God's love for us is demonstrated in the person of Jesus Christ. “God so love the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes on Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). God gave His Son, who willingly made Himself the sacrifice for our sin PURELY out of love, with absolutely no self gain other than to redeem and rescue His children that went astray. His love had no strings attached to it, it was purely from the heart of a loving Father. This type of love is inconceivable to us, because many of us have become bitter and cynical. We assume that there is always a “catch” or a “string at­tached”. Not God’s love! This is authentic sacrifice and gift giving.
Counterfeit Version – Many times, we are prone to engage in activities that appear sacrificial, but are actually driven by that self-need to be loved and accepted (the empty void within). This counterfeit version of love deceives us into believing that with the right effort, we can get the de­sired result. Sadly, this isn’t love at all, it is a subtle, but very strong form of CONTROL. When the root of any behavior is to benefit self, it is not love. But usually, we aren’t purposely engag­ing in this behavior. We can function in “auto pilot” because it is the way we learned how to get love. We may automatically become prone to doing things for others to earn something in return. For example, we may want their love, acceptance, thanks, praise, etc.
How do we distinguish true sacrifice from the counterfeit version? We need to always be on guard about the motivation behind our actions. Are we “giving to give” or “giving to get?” If we have placed GOD FIRST, doing things for others will be an expression of HIS LOVE. Therefore, we won’t need anything in return. It is one of the many ways God’s love changes us from the inside and gives us the ability to have healthy relationships.
The Need For Love
Robert Tucker
Sometimes people are ashamed to admit a “love need”, but it is as natural and God-given of a need as the air you breathe. Don’t be ashamed of it. Embrace it as a part of your make-up as a human being. However, understand that many times we ask another person to fill the needs only God can fill. While people are intended to provide love, they are not intended to re­place God by any means. God is the SOURCE for love.
The type and amount of love we received as children will deeply impact our ability to give and receive love in adult relationships. If we were not loved properly and did not have a personal relationship with Jesus, we will go through life with a love need, or an empty void. If we don’t have love in us, we don’t have the ability to give it out. You could think of codependency in terms of a “love cup”. If you were raised without much love, your “love cup” is probably empty. If your love cup is empty, you will spend most of your life trying to ask other people to fill it. This type of “love need” will manifest into addictive, compulsive behaviors, similar to a sub­stance addiction. If you do not have your own love need met, you will not be able to offer it to others UNTIL you learn to ask God to fill your cup first.
What is True Love Anyway?
With such a skewed understanding and representation of genuine love in our lives, it is important that we establish some principles and truths regarding God's love. REMEMBER, TRUE LOVE MUST OPERATE BY TRUTH. Oftentimes, we are clinging to lies about love, causing us unnec­essary pain and suffering. Below you will find the type of love with which God loves us and de­sires us to have in our family relationships. We will also point out the "counterfeit" that creeps up into our relationships and tries to substitute for the "real" thing. The contrast is quite dramatic!
Day 1
Attribute:
True Love is Sacrificial and Giving
God’s Way: The perfect example of God's love for us is demonstrated in the person of Jesus Christ. “God so love the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes on Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). God gave His Son, who willingly made Himself the sacrifice for our sin PURELY out of love, with absolutely no self gain other than to redeem and rescue His children that went astray. His love had no strings attached to it, it was purely from the heart of a loving Father. This type of love is inconceivable to us, because many of us have become bitter and cynical. We assume that there is always a “catch” or a “string at­tached”. Not God’s love! This is authentic sacrifice and gift giving.
Counterfeit Version – Many times, we are prone to engage in activities that appear sacrificial, but are actually driven by that self-need to be loved and accepted (the empty void within). This counterfeit version of love deceives us into believing that with the right effort, we can get the de­sired result. Sadly, this isn’t love at all, it is a subtle, but very strong form of CONTROL. When the root of any behavior is to benefit self, it is not love. But usually, we aren’t purposely engag­ing in this behavior. We can function in “auto pilot” because it is the way we learned how to get love. We may automatically become prone to doing things for others to earn something in return. For example, we may want their love, acceptance, thanks, praise, etc.
How do we distinguish true sacrifice from the counterfeit version? We need to always be on guard about the motivation behind our actions. Are we “giving to give” or “giving to get?” If we have placed GOD FIRST, doing things for others will be an expression of HIS LOVE. Therefore, we won’t need anything in return. It is one of the many ways God’s love changes us from the inside and gives us the ability to have healthy relationships.
. I'm truly grateful for God's holy word!
