This is YOUR hair, don't be afraid to "offend" someone you are only going to see for one hour and probably never again. Some people who have responded are DIYs, don't think this is your only route but if you speak up, you will train that stylist as to what you want for your hair and your relationship will be better. They can still consider you a "difficult" client but if you are nice about it, you both will benefit. Now, if they are rude and think they know what's best and are still ripping out your hair, get up and leave.
I did it once before and believe me, I'm not a confrontational person and quite nice to everybody. I went to male (white) hairstylist with a friend who highly recommended him and who also went with me that day. I was crying because I get emotional when I get upset (stupid,I know but I can't help it) but I stood up, paid him and LEFT. He was really upset, causing a scene, saying that in all of the years he's been a hairdresser none of his clients have reacted like this, didn't want me to pay,etc. It took everything to speak out, but I did and I was very proud of myself that day. It led me to reassess my hair practices, become a DIY for almost everything and my hair has thrived because of it.
I think I've lost another hairstylist acquantaince who relaxed my hair in January. She's really nice and one of the few black hairstylist in this city that I trust, but she basically put the relaxer in and took it out, she didn't listen to what I wanted and to me telling her how my hair is and I ended up with 3 different and very visible hair textures on my hair which led to some breakage. I texted her after that and told her that it didn't take at alla and, and even though I understand she was scared of overprocessing my hair, I feel I can do it myself (and for $100!!). She never got back to me and I'd like to keep her as a stylist for my haircuts, but if she was offended, well, it's her loss. I became a DIY for relaxers too and I'm quite happy, and my money is in my pocket.